As a teenager growing up in a traditional Asian family who didn’t yet understand my homosexuality, I constantly found myself searching for gay Asian male figures to look up to. I wanted a glimpse of the life I could have — someone who looked like me and could understand my struggle. But all I saw plastered in magazines and on TV screens was the supposed prime specimen that I just couldn’t relate to: the chiseled, white, square-jawed pin-up. I wondered if that’s who I needed to be, or at least be with. It was what gay society told me was the pinnacle of male beauty.
For a long time, I thought that coming out would open doors to a place where I could be open about my identity without judgement. As gay men, we all go through an emotional journey to discover a sense of self; to allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to come out and let our lives fall into place. And while I found acceptance in innumerable ways through friends, coming out also meant entering a world brimming with a distinct, ubiquitous form of discrimination — where racism runs rampant and everyone is boxed into manufactured stereotypes.
I learned quickly that some of the most blatant racism in the gay community is pointed at Asian men. “Not into Asians” or “no Asians please” can be found in personal ads (in the pre-internet days) or dating app profiles today. It’s a mystery to me how such a blanket statement can be used, but it’s become pervasive to the point of acceptance. If anyone does show interest in an Asian man, they may be pursuing a submissive Asian stereotype. Other gay men want to dominate and discard us. We’re seen as objects that can be fetishized and collected.
In my 25 years of being out, going to bars and talking to people who found no issue in telling me to my face that they don’t date Asians felt like the norm. When I moved to New York in the late ‘90s I went with my Asian friends to The Web, a gay Asian bar that seemed like an oasis where like-minded people could meet, congregate, dance, and share experiences. Little did I know that it was a place of division — a place where Asians competed with each other for the attention of non-Asian men at the club. Nearly every gay Asian friend of mine has experienced some sort of racism within the gay community, and I can’t even fathom how many around the world have felt it too.
For some time, I’ve wanted to create a statement that shows the broad spectrum of Asian men I have met and known in New York — perhaps to respond to the many false, internalized stereotypes that still haunt us today. I wanted to help show an array of modern gay Asian men, an underrepresented group in the media, the way we exist today.
The men in this portfolio come from a diverse set of backgrounds: Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, Singaporean, Japanese, Filipino, Korean, multiracial. They are not models; they are designers, chefs, drag queens, architects, filmmakers, and teachers. They are powerful, intelligent, sexual, and provocative. They are nuanced and do not fit into boxes like submissive and dominant — they express desire in ways distinctive to them. They shatter the idea that Asian male sexuality is taboo.
Photographer 223, who traveled from Beijing to collaborate on this project, captures bold, masculine, feminine, sexy, gorgeous men who represent the strength of Asian men, but are only a fraction of our huge population in the gay community. 223 was integral in bringing this series to life because his work celebrates male sensuality and beauty in the most authentic way possible. This portfolio was also made with the help of an entirely Asian crew: photographer, stylist, hair stylist, makeup, videographer. All of the clothing you see was created by a designer of Asian descent.
For every Asian man like me, there’s a kid somewhere trying to figure out how to come out; who doesn’t know what it feels like on the other side. We can’t fight for LGBTQ+ equality without fighting against racism, and we need to start within our own communities. You’re looking at the modern gay Asian male, who doesn’t need to live up to Western beauty standards and stereotypes.
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The hidden lives of gay men in the Middle East – in pictures
Photographer Hoda Afshar was born in Tehran and is now based in Melbourne, Australia. Her latest series, Behold, was photographed in Iran in a town which mostly leaves gay men to be, on the condition they conduct this part of their lives in secret. A group of men invited her inside a traditional bathhouse to document part of their world. Behold was first exhibited at Centre for Contemporary Photography, Melbourne, and is now at Horsham Regional Gallery until 14 May
Tue 27 Mar 2018 18.00 BST Last modified on Thu 26 Mar 2020 14.32 GMT
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The awesome Hooder has created a web enabled gameso now you can try the Mansion for yourself.
RAMSES THE DAMNED Artist-extraordinaire Herodotus has been rummaging through his secret dungeon and has unearthed some of his long-lost ancient egyptian classical works! You can see them by clicking on the ‚Ramses the Damned‘ link below. Feedback, as ever, is always welcome! >> Ramses the Damned <<
If you are into gay comics and/or gay geeks then you need to check this out
The new interactive game from our good pal JUBELL and his friend Benji Bright!
An excellent collection of beautifully written books from our very own Hector Himeros
REVIEW OF SCRIPTED LOVE AT GOODREADS: (4 stars) I loved the characters miza and abel and how miza was so in the closet that he didn’t realise he could possibly be gay but with Abel he came to love and find true love in return ,was a little teary eyed at the end, With what they had to go through and how it ended but was truly fantastic to read . It’s a shame that even in this day and age we still have all these law’s that stop people from wanting to be together regardless of sex you have really looked into and researched law’s and people’s opinions to make this work well . you really brought the characters to life for me and you placed them in a unique settings with media and people looking always
More information about the works of Hector can be found here
Check out this amazing blog of fake pictures of major celebrities by that most excellent master of the art, Pax!
He even did a special request for me, a fantastic picture of my favourite hot hunk, Gareth Bale, in bondage, Hot!
I’m always happy to hear comments and consider requests. You can reach me at:
Disclaimer:All situations depicted within this site are strictly fantasy.I do not condone, nor endorse, any attempt to use violence or the threat of violence, whether sexual or otherwise, against any individual unless they have clearly, expressly and willingly consented to it.
All 3D artwork is ©Telemachus unless stated other artwork copyrights are shown where known.
39 Sex Toys Every Gay Man Should Try
I’ll be honest guys, I did not enjoy sex toys when I first came on the scene. I was a freshman in college, brand new to sex, and all my friends, left and right, were exploring their anal pleasures with dildos. “It helps you get used to the feeling,” one guy told me in his dorm room. “I go at my own speed so that when the real thing comes, I’m ready.”
Our hopes were soon met. I started college a few months after Grindr hit the app store. We all quickly discovered sex via the glowing orange icons on our phones. This was my initial understanding of toys: They were ass-trainers, a second-hand way of experiencing the “real thing,” and no matter how nice they were, they were inferior to flesh and blood. I believed “sex toys” for gay men stopped at dildos and prostate stimulators, and I did not consider them legitimate sex play all on their own.
[RELATED: „30 Kinky Terms Every Gay Man Needs to Know“]
In the years since, I have learned that there are many gay sex toys out there beyond anal toys, although these are certainly the majority, and anal toys toys are more than substitutions for penises. Some toys, like the Ass Hammer (see #28), deliver mind-blowing sensations that a penis simply cannot replicate. Nothing will ever replace traditional sex — sex toys simply expand the experiential buffet of sexual pleasure to its true, limitless margin.
As you begin your toy sexploration, you will find that, although there are endless naughty novelty stores in the world, good toys are surprisingly hard to find. You could scour the Internet or make expensive pilgrimages to your nearest big city to visit a sexual retailer catered exclusively to gay men — nearly every big city has one — or you could start with this list of 39 sex toys you have to try, some of which are for beginners and others for seasoned adventurists. Welcome to Toyland, and enjoy the ride.
9. Thug Double Fucker
Blessed be the three men that first discovered double penetration — DP is one of the greatest gifts that gay men have been given. But if you’re trying to have a two-person, monogamous relationship, or if you are not quite ready to be double-fucked by two guys, try this toy. It would probably fall into the sex toy category of “cock extenders,” although it does not extend or expand the top’s penis. Rather, it attaches a dildo to his dick and gives you the opportunity to “take two” without a third man present. Oxballs makes some of the world’s best anal toys, great for all us pigs into extreme ass play.
39. Sex Music
This may be a surprising cap to this list — no one ever talks about tunes as a sexual enhancer. Background music not only sets the mood, but it is also one of the cheapest sexual accoutrements you will buy, and certainly one of the most effective.
Mr. S Leather sells album mixes from one of the North American leather world’s favorite DJs, M. Arana, who has been a repeat guest at the Folsom Street Fair and DJed the San Francisco Leather Ball, the Mr. Fire Island Leather Contest, the Mr. East Coast Rubber Contest in New York, and other sexually-charged events. His mixes sound like darkrooms and play areas and immediately make you feel nasty. And much to my surprise, his albums are available on iTunes alongside other sex music-makers like Tony Barre and the old-school Butt Boy (known for tracks like “Phallidance” and “The Sling”).
If you’re looking for something that sounds less like a dungeon and more like a dance club, try the young LA-based EDM artist TR/ST — his sexed-up, mopey tracks like “Are We Arc?” on his recent album Joyland are great for a relaxed fisting session.
Hungry for more? Don’t miss „36 Fetishes Every Gay Man Should Know“ and „30 Kinky Terms Every Gay Man Needs to Know.“