These Photos of Naked Men in Berlin Show the Intimacy of Gay Sex

Sam Morris was a Tumblr kid. Probably still is at heart. The platform was where he developed and honed his eye for aesthetics, and where he began to cultivate an audience. He still credits Tumblr as the place that he really came to understand imagery. But now, since the service’s ban on adult content, the photographer and former professional dancer has moved on.

Though we could not show the exhibition in full — sadly we do not show erect penises on the Out website, no matter the artistic context — we have curated a selection of the work here. Alongside it, Morris explains how Berlin helped him confront his ideas around sex and what its like to be an artist who relies on the ever-fickle Instagram.

18 Types of Sex All Gay Men Should Try At Least Once in their Lifetime

There are so many different ways guys have sex with each other. There’s a lot in between the two extremes of making love to the man of your life, and having a raunchy, anonymous hookup in a bathhouse.

So here are 18 types of sex all gay/bi men should experience (at least once) at some point in their lives!

Ohhhh, that first time you’re with a guy. You’re nervous. You’re confused. It feels so right, yet you think it’s so wrong. All the shame, joy, confusion, and pleasure amalgamating to create an overwhelming emotional overload.

For many of us, the first experience we had with a man wasn’t great. Odds are, we didn’t actually like them that much. (If you did, you’re lucky!) So the first time you have sex with a man you really like (maybe even love) is a pretty phenomenal experience. You think to yourself, „Wow. This is it.“

In my humble opinion, I think this is a rite of passage for every gay man. I think we all need to have some form of cruisy, bathhouse, and/or park experience. The fearful rush is unlike anything you’ve experimented with before.

If you’re like me, the first time you bottomed you did not get what the fuss was about. I was clenching, hadn’t cleaned properly, and honestly had no idea what to do. I also remember being in a lot of pain. A few tries later, when you learn to relax, you finally get what the whole fuss is about, and it starts to feel really, really good.

The first time you have sex with someone who’s f*cking great. He’s sexy. He’s energetic. He knows how to move. And he has you thinking, „What type of garbage sex have I been having for the past X years?“

Who needs Ambien when you have Grindr, am I right? Those nights where you’re having trouble falling asleep, so you invite a guy over. Forty-five minutes later, you’re passed out. Sleeping like a baby.

In order to have sex with a man the first few times, many of us had to get to a point of severe inebriation. It’s obviously very different, and a lot more special, when you first have sex with a man sober.

Makin’ love to the man you love. Life really doesn’t get much better than that.

He smacks your butt hard, or he rests his hands on your throat, applying a little pressure. Your heart speeds up. You feel the rush of exploring something a little kinkier, a little more intense.

Honestly, I think everyone should experience a threesome at least once, at some point in their life. We all need to learn what the fuss is about, and why two heads (pun intended) are better than one.

Summer camp is literally the most homoerotic space to have ever existed. Just a bunch of hormonal guys, some closeted, some straight, but all confused about their sexuality, bunking together and exploring each other’s bodies.

When you get to experience drunk sex that’s actually amazing. You somehow have more energy and feel like a goddamn rock star. Everything feels so good.

That drunk sex that is absolutely awful. We’ve all had it. (Some of us more than we care to admit.) You can’t get hard. You feel gross. Your bodies don’t seem to be connecting at all. Literally, the worst. You might be asking why I think every gay men should experience this. Fair question! I think it’s important for us to have a couple mediocre sexual experiences, so we can appreciate the good ones.

There’s something unbelievably hot about having sex with someone in a foreign country. (When it’s a local in that county, that makes it even better.) Not sure why this is the case, but man-oh-man, it is.

When you sleep with a guy who’s 20 years your senior, and you’re like, „Woah, practice DOES make perfect!“

When 20 years later the tables have turned, and you’re showing the ropes to a newly out gay/bi man, helping him live out his daddy fantasy.

It’s another rite of passage that will inevitably happen. What do you expect? You’re poking around in someone’s butt. The first time this happens you’re definitely a little freaked out. But by the 10th time, you literally could not care less.

Had to end the slideshow on an uplifting note! It’s not even the physical act of sex that’s good; it’s the fact that you’re doing it with the man you love. It’s pure intimacy.

18 Types of Sex All Gay Men Should Try At Least Once in their Lifetime

The best gay sex positions: How do gay men have sex?

As anyone who’s ever had gay sex, thought about gay sex or watched gay sex will know there are endless combinations possible gay sex positions. But where to start? What feels best? How do you gay men have sex?

This guide to the four most accessible – and we reckon most pleasurable – gay sex positions will help get you started.

Before we get stuck into how to stick it in, we’d always condone safer sex and recommend you read our guide to PrEP, and always use condoms when having sex.

The best gay sex positions: How do gay men have sex?

Hot Legs (Short Gay Film)

Short Film produced by Underdog Productions (Pty) Ltd in 1995.

Note: This film contains some male nudity, contains material of a gay nature, and may be disturbing to younger viewers. It also contains some fast flash shots.

Written & Directed by Luiz DeBarossProduced by: Marc Schwinges

Starring:Tim: David DucasDave: Gerrie BarnardTim Jnr: Glen FineDave Jnr: Leon WeedKid One: Miguel BarrosKid Tow: Marcus MuddPoliceman One: Carlo GoertzPoliceman Two: Criag KellyMother: Mariana CarrilloSon: Sipho Khuzwago Moyo

Director of Photography: Peter PohorskyProduction Manager: Brendan RiceProduction Assistant: David HeckerFocus Puller: Greg PoissonGrip: Tony Slater

Sound: Jeremy HattinghSound: Ian MillerBoom Operator: Sean Kelly

Senior Make-up Artist: Adrienne CohenMake-Up Artist: Ionka Nel

Runners: Wayne Fick, Paul Hanrahan, Hal Couzens, Bronwyn Vermeulen, Oliver Galloway.

Post Production Advisor: Hal CouzensNon-Liner Editor: Llewelyn Roderick

Executive Producers: Marc Schwinges, Catherine Bester & Charlotte Bauer

Hot Legs (Short Gay Film)

The 22 Best Sex Toys for Gay, Bi, and Queer Men

Toys for top daddies, vers queens, and power bottoms.

Sex toys don’t discriminate; they’re made for anyone and everyone who wants them. That’s why no type of sex toybutt plug is inherently “gay.“

Nevertheless, gay culture—including gay sex culture—is indeed a thing. That’s why there are certain sex toys that appeal more to gay, bi, and queer men than straight guys. For example, a queer man might be more likely to buy a Fleshlight shaped like a male porn star’s butt than of a female porn star’s vulva. He may be more likely to buy an XXL butt plug to help stretch things out down there, or a double-edged dildo in case the guy he brings home happens to be a bottom, too. There are even brands out there making awesome sex toys with gay men specifically in mind. These companies include OxBalls and Mr. S Leather—you’ll notice I included many of their products on this list.

So, without further ado, here are 22 sex toys for gay, bi, and queer men. You’ll notice I start with more basic sex toys and gradually progress to more advanced and niche items, like anal hooks (for all the BDSM fans out there). Regardless of whether you identify as straight, bisexual, fluid, gay, queer, or something else on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, these sex toys can be extremely pleasurable if you have a penis, butthole, and/or prostate. Use them with a partner or during your next solo session!

A staple in every queer man’s bedroom is a stainless steel cock ring. Pro tip: Don’t get cocky (pun intended) with sizing. Odds are you’re a small or medium, not a large, buddy boy. 

The „Butt Tingler“ from Lovehoney is about as standard as a vibrating butt plug can be. It’s made from silicone and is 3.5 inches in length making it ideal for beginners. 

Start small and work your way up to medium and large with this 100% silicone butt plug training kit. It consists of three smooth silicone butt plugs in different sizes. Each has a flexible shaft that has small ridges to stimulate where you are most sensitive.

I just linked to Christopher Milan’s Fleshlight because I think he’s fine AF, but if you peruse the Fleshlight site, there are plenty of  other male models and porn stars to choose from, including Diego Sans, Allen King, and more. 

I love this toy. (You can read my full review of it here!) You control the speed and intensity of the vibrations by tilting the remote control. It also stimulates your perineum (a.k.a. your taint or grundle) along with your prostate. 

These are cheap and easy cuffs for when you only have 30 minutes to restrain and plow that guy from Scruff. 

These are the big boy version. The Daddy version. Cuffs made from real leather if you got coins to spare. 

b-Vibe’s amazing butt plugs simulate the feeling of getting a rim job (a.k.a. analingus). It’s like, who even needs a boyfriend anymore?  

This toy stimulates your rectum, prostate, and perineum. It really gets up in there. With the Duke, you might have orgasms so intense, you’ll hear „Rain on Me“ and see rainbows instead of stars.

I love me a glass dildo. (Don’t worry, there’s no way for it to shatter while in use.) Pro tip: Put it in the freezer to make it cold—you’ll experience brand-new sensations!

You want to feel full? Like really full? Then I’d recommend this inflatable butt plug. (Read my full review of it here

Have your partner slowly pull these bad boys out of you while you climax. (Head here to learn more about anal beads!)

If you’re into pup play, then you need to have a puppy tail. (It’s a butt plug that has a tail sticking it out of it.) And tie dye is apparently back in style!

If you like when your partner pinches and bites your nipples, I’d recommend these industrial-grade nipple clamps.

Oxballs are your go-to for more advanced cock rings. In addition to squeezing your shaft, this cocksling stretches your testicles down and away from you.

Some guys love having their testes pulled and separated. If you’re into that kinda thing, then look no further than this toy from Oxballs.

SPANK ME DADDY. (But actually, if you do use a flogger, please learn what you’re doing. You can hurt someone if you whip wrong. Here’s an article on how to flog properly.) 

If you’re into being a good little sub whose sole purpose is to satisfy Daddy, you can put on this chastity cage.  

If submission is your thing, you can also have a ball gag in your mouth. I like these options from Mr. S Leather, but you can also head here for more great ball gag options. 

First off, love the name of this toy. This double-edged dildo is great when you two get home and realize that you were both lying when you said you were vers. Instead of bumping purses, stick the Buddy Expander Double Header into your booties and then bump uglies. 

Anal hooks are great for couples who love playing with power dynamics. One end goes around your neck. The other know where. An anal hook forces the bottom to stay in a certain position—if you try to move, you will be in pain.

The 22 Best Sex Toys for Gay, Bi, and Queer Men

How to have anal sex: Steps for gay men

If having anal sex was as easy as it appears in gay porn, I’d probably do it every day. However, there is more to it and gay men (women too) need to understand how to have anal sex.

It wasn’t until my mid-20s that I got truly comfortable with anal. When I was younger (I’m still in my very very late 20s, or very early 30s before you ask), I had some really painful experiences as a bottom, and some scarily messy experiences as a top.

During gay sex, whether you’re topbottomversatile or have no idea (we’ll cover this another time), planning, practice, preparation and communication are all vital when taking it up the rear. I wish I knew what I know now, when I was younger. But now I know plenty. We’ve got this sorted. Here’s how to have anal sex.

Many Straight Men Have Gay Sex

Nearly 10% of Self-Proclaimed ‚Straight‘ Men Only Have Sex With Men

Sept. 18, 2006 — Nearly one in 10 men who say they’re straight have sex only with other men, a New York City survey finds.

And 70% of those straight-identified men having sex with men are married.

In fact, 10% of all married men in this survey report same-sex behavior during the past year.

This means safe-sex messages aimed at straight and gay men are likely missing this important subgroup, suggest Preeti Pathela, DrPH, New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, and colleagues.

„To reduce the burden of sexually transmitted diseases and HIV infection among men who have sex with men, it is of utmost importance for [health care] providers to take a sexual history that ascertains the sex of a partner,“ Pathela and colleagues report. „Asking about a patient’s sexual identity will not adequately assess his risk.“

Anal sex positions

Most of these gay sex positions are anal sex positions, but there are some non-penetrative sexual positions at the end too.

If you’re after more anal sex reading, here’s another general guide on how to have anal sex that covers douching, communication, lube and some other stuff.

Top, bottom or versatile?

We’re going to look at gay sex positions from the point of view of a top and a bottom.

If you’re versatile (and we encourage you all to be), lucky you, you can do both. In some gay sex positions the top leads the action, and in some the bottom takes the lead.

Interested in finding out why some guys are top and some are bottom? Here’s a scientific study from 2017 that talks about it.

Try the gay missionary position first

This gay sex position may sound boring, but it’s not, we promise. It’s one of the easiest positions for a top, and not especially difficult for a bottom.

During gay sex, if you’re engaging in foreplay and sucking his cock while he’s laying down, keep licking, kissing and sucking as you move your mouth down towards his balls.

Then go further, toward his perineum (the bit between his balls and his ass) and then his butthole.

Bottom: if you’re enjoying this, give him a few moans and wriggle your asshole a bit closer to where his tongue is.

If he’s keen, keep eating his ass. Open his ass cheeks and get in there deep with your tongue. If you can, and body shapes and sizes depend on this, lift his ass up a bit.

Seeing eye to eye

The gay missionary position is good for maintaining eye contact and clear communication during anal sex.

You can penetrate your partner slowly and carefully, keeping an eye on the target. You can build up a momentum that you’re both comfortable with. And it’s easy to get back in if you slip out, because you can see everything clearly.

Now try riding a guy’s cock

If you’re new to getting f**ked, or nervous about taking a big dick, this gay sex position could be good for you, because as a bottom, you’ll have the control.

It’s a good one for gaining confidence when it comes to taking cock – if it starts to hurt, you can slow down, and lower yourself onto him at your own pace.

You need a certain amount of athleticism to be able to ride your man. You want to be going up and down, and slightly back and forth, at the same time. A bit like riding a horse.

If you’re bigger built than your top, or if you’re a bigger guy in general this one can be tricky as gravity is against you. Be careful not to crush the chap under you or he’ll be at risk of losing his erection.

Safer sex with condoms

Keep a few condoms in your wallet, or in the drawer next to your bed. Keeping them on the bedside table sends a clear message that you’re into safer sex.

Or, it might make you look like you’re f**king every man that catches your eye (you lucky bugger), which might put off a potential boyfriend compared to a casual hook-up, so use your judgement.

Before there was Grindr…

Wikipedia defines “cruising” as “walking or driving about a locality in search of a sex partner, usually of the anonymous, casual, one-time variety.” 

This is a fair definition, but some guys would define cruising more loosely: a basic sex hunt, not something you specifically set out to do but rather something you are always doing. We do it on the subway and in the office and anywhere a handsome gentleman might lift his shirt to wipe sweat off his forehead. In our minds, we lift his shirt the rest of the way and tug on the brim of his trousers with our teeth. 

If you make eye contact with him and discover (wordlessly and without complete certainty) that you are both interested, then voila! You’ve cruised. Now all you have to do is work up the courage to talk to him, give him your number, or nod to the exit. The following hookup may happen in your apartment, in a public restroom, or in the alley out back. Wherever you choose, you are engaging in an art that gay and bi men have been perfecting for decades. 

Check out these 24 classic cruising zones, some of which yielded better results in years past and many that are still used today. Happy hunting!

Above: Alex lurking in a park

My name is Alexander Cheves, and I am known by friends in the kink and leather community as Beastly. I am a sex-positive writer and blogger. The views in this slideshow do not reflect those of The Advocate and are based solely on my own experiences. As with everything I write, the intent of this piece is to break down the stigmas surrounding the sex lives of gay men.

Those who are sensitive regarding frank discussions about sex are invited to click elsewhere, but consider this: If you are outraged by content that addresses sex openly and honestly, I invite you to examine this outrage and ask yourself whether it should instead be directed at those who oppress us by policing our sexuality.

For all others, enjoy the slideshow. And feel free to leave your own suggestions for sex and dating topics in the comments.

1. Bathhouses

Before anyone tries to convince you that bathhouses are no fun — that they are filled with creepy onlookers and tweaked-out drug addicts — go to one. Go to Steamworks in Chicago or Berkeley, Club Dallas, or any of the Flex spas across the country. If you are a kink pig looking for slings over saunas, find your nearest Slammer. If these are not options in your city, plan a trip. Big cities like Los Angeles and New York have bathhouses that, depending on the night, may have better crowds than the national chains — North Hollywood Spa, Tampa Men’s Club, Denver Swim Club. 

The Everard Baths in New York City was the most written-about bathhouse in history until it closed in 1986 at the height of the AIDS epidemic. Everard was open for almost 100 years and was visited by such gay luminaries as Gore Vidal and Truman Capote. Today, New York is filled with cruising grounds, but its number of bathhouses has noticeably dwindled. 

There are several reasons for this. Yes, AIDS was a devastating hit, one that made us fear the sexual spaces we used to roam. But other social changes contributed. The closet drew many men to bathhouses where they could cruise freely before returning home to their wives. For them, bathhouses were a necessity — spaces frequented out of need and desire. Gay life has changed since then. 

I have heard some younger gay men — guys closer to my age — say they would never set foot in a bathhouse “because they are filled with old guys.” Let’s face a fact: This is often true. Many of the bathhouses I’ve been to are filled with older men, but this fact neither diminishes the fun to be had in them or takes away from their experience. Let go of your needless ageism and try something new. 

There is something great about being naked in a gay space. Bathhouses are a dichotomy. hey are both erotic and comfortable, foreign and familiar. If you’ve never been to one and are ready to take the plunge, check out my article “10 Tips For Your First Trip To The Bathhouse” on

2. Public Parks

City parks were once the cruising grounds for gay men. In New York in the 1970s, public parks where places where you could not only find a hot guy but bang him in the bushes too. 

Parks are harder to cruise today. Police patrolling has amped up, and there are obvious safety risks to cruising parks at night. 

3. Beaches

Antonio Da Silva has a thing for public cruising. The Portuguese director makes short films that blur the lines between documentary and pornography, art and voyeurism — which means his films are great. His 13-minute explicit film Beach 19 peeks in on the activities at a popular gay beach in Portugal. 

While a trip to Portugal or Limanakia Beach in Greece (another famous gay beach) sounds awesome, outdoor cruising and nature sex can be found in the United States too. Baker Beach in San Francisco, Black’s Beach in San Diego, Maui’s Little Beach, and of course Fire Island Pines, a historic gay dreamland, are still fun places to visit. And while you might not be able to have sex on the beach itself (at least not in the daylight), you can still find a partner to take home. A note on the Pines: Few guys get naked on the beach itself, but many wander to the little “anything goes” coastal forest nearby. 

I must here give a word of caution. Public sex always invites the risk of getting caught by someone other than a voyeur or hot participant. Law enforcement, unsuspecting passersby, and happy children can stumble by. While this risk is totally part of the fun, getting caught can land you in jail. 

The Advocate is not responsible for your incarceration should you choose to participate in “public lewdness” — a funny term invented by lawmakers that we must take seriously. You will find the term “public lewdness” on warnings posted in gay-heavy gyms (“Any public lewdness in the steam room will result in immediate termination of membership and possible legal action”) and cruising hotspots where a manager has caught wind of what’s been going on. In most cases it means anal or oral sex — flashing your junk in areas that are not clothing-optional is called “indecent exposure.” 

4. Piers

A cursory history of gay New York must include the West Side piers — a gay landmark that, for many gay men in the ’70s, was the epicenter of the art and sex movement that happened between Stonewall and the onset of the AIDS epidemic. The piers weren’t much to look at — a series of decaying wood and steel structures jutting into the Hudson River from Christopher Street up to Chelsea — but their location as well as their storied nightly sex spots solidified their place as the most famous gay cruising site in the United States. Take a pilgrimage to see them — it will be bittersweet, considering how many died during the plague years — but save the public cruising for one of New York’s many gay nightclubs. 

Above image: Shelley Seccombe, „Sunbathing on the Edge, Pier 52“ (1977), contemporary archival digital print, source:

5. Gay Bars

Like all other parts of gay culture, gay bars have changed. Many of their playrooms have been converted into well-lit lounges or additional bar space — a fact that makes me die a little. And (you guessed it) hookup apps have all but gutted these spaces of the crowds that used to flock them. But the quintessential gay bar — that tawdry dive with a rainbow flag in the window and a glory hole in the bathroom — is important, because long before chat rooms and mobile apps, gay bars were some of our original cruising zones. Sexual overtones aside, gay bars were places where we could meet, organize, let loose, and foster community.

I haven’t figured out the formula of what makes a gay bar stay open, but I imagine there are many factors: hot bartenders, hot crowds, and the seemingly unavoidable threat of getting priced out. I almost never go to nongay bars, because I give my dollars to spaces that exist for me. Keep our sanctuaries alive! 

6. Discothèques

The birthplace of gay circuit parties, underground discothèques were where gay men danced in the ’70s — and have not stopped since. 

But first, a clarification: “discothèque” is a term rarely used in the United States anymore — most people simply say “club” or “dance club” — but you can still find self-identified discothèques in Europe. 

The beauty of dancing in a room full of gay men (and typically getting high with them) is something I can hardly describe. When I have those nights, I feel part of a gay tradition that started in the pre-AIDS sex reverie, survived a plague, and is still alive today. 

Different scholars, homos, club kids, and gay partiers will argue when dance clubs really came into being, but their significance in gay culture (and gay cruising) is undeniable. Their bathrooms have long been homes to cruising and gay sex. 

10. Gayborhood Streets

If New York’s Christopher Street taught us anything, it is that a street in a gay part of town is the ultimate cruising ground. I applaud the guys who make hookups happen simply from exchanging glances with the men they pass on the sidewalk. Doing so takes game, body-reading skills, improvisation, and guts. I have not mastered the art of street cruising, but I have felt that heightened tension when walking down a sidewalk in a gayborhood — the Castro in San Francisco, the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood — and knowing that I am in cruise territory. The eyes are on you.

11. Gyms

Second to circuit parties, gyms are some of the most erotic places in the world. A place where sweaty guys work out in minimal clothing, strip in front of each other, take showers, and sometimes sit together in a steam room is going to be a gay cruise zone — how could it be anything else?

Some gyms will have a stronger cruising vibe than others, depending on the neighborhood. Gayborhood gyms are almost asking for public sex, while gyms in smaller towns and conservative communities might be higher risk. In general, though, you are bound to face some repercussion if you get caught by a staff member. 

12. Coffee Shops

Many people, myself included, like to people-watch at coffee shops. Coffee shops are places where you can retreat from the bustle of life, read a book, do some work on the computer, and sip your overpriced lavender mocha. A good coffee shop has a feeling of de-stress and coziness. And since I love being around men — their presence automatically makes me feel comfortable, like being in a locker room — I love coffee shops in gay neighborhoods. Cruising comes naturally to these places, since people-watching and cruising are basically the same thing, and what better way to lick the foam off your lips than having someone lick it off for you?

13. Bookstores

My parents suspected I was gay years before I even knew what “gay” meant — maybe all that finger-painting and borrowing my mom’s eyebrow pencil gave something away — and they installed a parental blocker on our Internet that blocked absolutely everything. The blocker restricted sites according to keywords. “Gay,” I later learned, was one of them. 

Internet porn was never an option, so I didn’t grow up missing it. When we went shopping, my parents would leave me in Barnes & Noble for hours while they went with my sister to try on jeans. Parents, if you don’t want your kids to be gay, do not leave them alone in a bookstore. 

Barnes & Noble is a treasure trove of homosexuality. I discovered the seminal book by Charles Silverstein and Edmund White in the LGBT section when I was 10. And the magazines! Unzipped, Attitude, and The Advocate were my first signs of gay life; the first proof I had that others were out there. When I stumbled across , a collection of erotic male photography by David E. Armstrong, my life was changed forever. I grabbed the book and ran to the restroom. I sat in a stall for an hour, turning the pages slowly, trembling. 

Several years later, when I was able to drive to bookstores by myself, I was again sitting in the bathroom of Barnes & Noble, probably looking through a copy of Unzipped magazine, when the guy in the stall next to me said, “Hey…you okay, dude?” And that was the first time I had public sex. 

Bookstores are pits of sin. Visit them as often as you can. Literacy is important. 

15. Cafés and local gay-owned businesses

Gay-owned businesses are not always cruising zones, but LGBT people tend to feel comfortable in them and patronize them, so you are more likely to find an guy who is down-to-fuck in, say, your local gay-owned ice cream shop than Ben & Jerry’s. 

We support these businesses because we assume their workers have workplace protections and/or same-sex partner benefits, and we assume that their environments, if they cater to the public, are at least LGBT-friendly. This is why your local gay-owned café is probably a cruising zone. Maybe it is located in a gayborhood, or maybe it is the one business in your conservative town where you can be yourself. Visit often, be friends with the people who work there, and keep an eye peeled — ready and restless guys are around every corner. 

16. Barbershops

I knew my barber was a keeper the first time I sat in his chair: “I want a typical gay haircut. Zero on the sides.”

“Say no more,” he said. Unlike all the straight barbers I have had in the past, my barber is a 6-foot-tall sweetheart who knows exactly what haircuts gay men are wearing these days (undercuts, fauxhawks, pompadours, high-and-tights). But what he did not know is that his shop is total cruising zone. That is, until I filled him in. 

“Dude, every gay man in town gets haircuts from you,” I said one day while he was trimming my ear line, “and since I can’t move my head, I am literally forced to look at all the guys waiting. I’m practically on display.” 

Many barbershops are cruising zones, especially if they have gay-heavy clientele. As we wait, we are watching men being groomed, knowing that at some point we will be up there, turned and swiveled for the guys to inspect from every angle.

17. Waiting Rooms

Following the logic of the barbershop, any waiting room can be a cruising zone. The waiting area for the health clinic at the Los Angeles LGBT Center was a total cruise fest. You can feel the cruising vibes as soon as you walk in and sign your name — always wear something sexy when you go get blood work done. 

I have never been to a gay AA or CMA (crystal meth) meeting, but I have heard from friends who attend them that these groups are notorious eye wars. The erotic vibe is heightened, they say, from the fact that you’re in a room full of gay men who already know something personal about you. This makes sense to me because I have attended a few HIV support groups, especially after I first tested positive, and the cruising vibes were strong. 

In these cases, however, I am not sure “cruising” is the correct word. People come together and need each other when they are in difficult places, and sometimes sex is part of that. In my lowest moments, I have cruised for sex simply because I needed to be around someone else or forget my problems for a little bit. There is something important about this type of cruising, because while it might not be totally healthy, it is totally human. 

19. Craigslist

Craigslist was launched out of San Francisco in 1995. Almost immediately, people began posting personal ads for sex services, companionship, kink, and to satisfy every fetish you can imagine, from sitting on cakes to voyeurism to some considerably darker fare (minors, cannibalism, you name it). Craigslist changed the game for men seeking men. 

Sites catering exclusively to gay dating and personals came later. launched in 1996, Manhunt in 2001, and Adam4Adam in 2005. Gay sex sites came with them — (colloquially shortened to BBRT by users) and are still my favorites. Gay cruising had found its home on the web, and suddenly we needed to spend more time in front of our computers. 

20. Grindr

In 2009, the fabric of gay life changed again. In the future, we will look back at a massive turning in gay culture — when gay hookup apps, which locate other users through the geolocation devices in your smartphone, hit the market. Joel Simkhai launched Grindr, with its distinct orange skull/hockey mask icon, on March 25. 

In 2012, Grindr had 4 million users in 192 countries across the globe, with 1.1 million users online every day. Based in the United States, the app reported usage as far away as Iraq, Israel, and Kazakhstan. Those numbers have doubtlessly increased today. 

Any mention of Grindr in 2016 will inevitably result in some eye rolls. Tiresome arguments between guys who hate hookup apps and guys who love them continue to rage across gay media outlets. Some say Grindr and other apps have destroyed gay life. Others say they have simply redefined it. Regardless which side you fall on, hookup apps are here to stay. 

I think the success of hookup apps was fairly foreseeable. If you give gay men an effortless way to hunt for sex on-the-go, everywhere they go, all the time, they are going to go for it. We have always have been doing this — Grindr simply made cruising easier. 

21. Scruff

I have to admit my bias here — I’m a Scruff guy. Scruff was launched in 2010, the year after Grindr hit the app store. Scruff is an app that essentially does the same Grindr does, but with different features (unlimited profile text, more in-app search tools) and, some would argue, catered to a slightly different user base. In 2015, Scruff reported 8 million users worldwide. 

I like Scruff’s unlimited profile text — goodness knows I’m long-winded — along with the app’s attention to minority demographics within the gay community like leather guys and HIV-positive guys (both groups I fall into). Read my article about Scruff’s inclusion of PrEP in its list of safe sex practices, which were included in the launch of Scruff 5 last year. 

Today, there are dozens of gay dating apps in addition to these two: Daddyhunt, GROWLr, Jack’d, Hornet, Mr. X, and many others all trying to get in on the action. Take your pick.

23. Circuit Parties

Real Bad. Magnitude. Papa Party. Black Party (The Saint At Large). White Party Miami (the whole week of it). White Party Palm Springs. Black & Blue in Montreal. Purple Party in Dallas. Winter Party Miami. Gay Days Orlando. The Pines Party on Fire Island. Southern Decadence. Fireball. The list goes on, and on, and on. All over the world, from Tel Aviv to Rio de Janeiro, gay circuit parties have turned modern gay life into something global and glamorous — and expensive.

Cruise culture has changed — no doubt about that. Some guys say cruising is dead, simply because it is harder to cruise for sex in public now. Train stations, parks, and public restrooms have more security personnel and fewer cruising patrons — particularly when many guys can just sit at home and hookup on Scruff. 

Cruise culture is alive, but it has been monetized. Circuit parties, which are essentially massive cruising fests, are beautiful, expensive things that cater to gay men with enough disposable income to afford tickets and travel (and clothes, and drugs, and hotel rooms, and harnesses, and all the many other costs that inevitably factor in). 

My impulse is to wag my finger at an industry that caters to the rich — but I also love circuit parties. Why? Because they are evidence that “free love” is back and gay men are celebrating their sex lives again. After the devastation of the AIDS epidemic and after generations of gay men seeing their lifestyles portrayed in ugly ways, the feeling of being in a warehouse filled with gay men celebrating themselves and their sex is radical and life-changing. It is a feeling I think every gay man should experience. 

24. Backrooms

I saved the best for last. The proverbial “playroom,” “dark room,” or “backroom” is a lights-off, “anything goes” space typically used for sex and drugs, and were once common features of gay establishments. 

If you’ve ever been in a gay dance club or leather bar and wondered what that dark hallway across from the bathrooms is used for, this is it. Backrooms are relics of an earlier time, when managers and owners generously created a space where their patrons could do what they needed to do with each other and looked the other way — or perhaps joined in. But gay bars today are now flocked with bridesmaids and visited by health inspectors and must struggle to stay afloat in a world where hookup apps have hurt their business, meaning backrooms have all but disappeared. 

Backrooms are useful when you’re a little fucked up and the guy you’ve been dancing with and rubbing on the dance floor decides to take matters into his own hands. It is true that you don’t really cruise in the backroom. You cruise on the dance floor — backrooms are where the cruising takes you. 

I love backrooms and see them along with public cruising as part of the same picture, one that composes a big part of our history as gay men. Regardless of your views on sex, cruising defined our world at one point. It was how we met each other, how we fell in love, and constituted the whole of our sex lives years before apps and websites would take out all the guesswork (and, for many, all the fun as well). 

Be on the lookout for a cruising zone near you. One is closer than you think.

Magazine spread above from Life, June 26, 1964, photographed by Bill Eppridge.

39 Sex Toys Every Gay Man Should Try

I’ll be honest guys, I did not enjoy sex toys when I first came on the scene. I was a freshman in college, brand new to sex, and all my friends, left and right, were exploring their anal pleasures with dildos. “It helps you get used to the feeling,” one guy told me in his dorm room. “I go at my own speed so that when the real thing comes, I’m ready.”

Our hopes were soon met. I started college a few months after Grindr hit the app store. We all quickly discovered sex via the glowing orange icons on our phones. This was my initial understanding of toys: They were ass-trainers, a second-hand way of experiencing the “real thing,” and no matter how nice they were, they were inferior to flesh and blood. I believed “sex toys” for gay men stopped at dildos and prostate stimulators, and I did not consider them legitimate sex play all on their own.

[RELATED: „30 Kinky Terms Every Gay Man Needs to Know“]

In the years since, I have learned that there are many gay sex toys out there beyond anal toys, although these are certainly the majority, and anal toys toys are more than substitutions for penises. Some toys, like the Ass Hammer (see #28), deliver mind-blowing sensations that a penis simply cannot replicate. Nothing will ever replace traditional sex — sex toys simply expand the experiential buffet of sexual pleasure to its true, limitless margin.

As you begin your toy sexploration, you will find that, although there are endless naughty novelty stores in the world, good toys are surprisingly hard to find. You could scour the Internet or make expensive pilgrimages to your nearest big city to visit a sexual retailer catered exclusively to gay men — nearly every big city has one — or you could start with this list of 39 sex toys you have to try, some of which are for beginners and others for seasoned adventurists. Welcome to Toyland, and enjoy the ride.

9. Thug Double Fucker

Blessed be the three men that first discovered double penetration — DP is one of the greatest gifts that gay men have been given. But if you’re trying to have a two-person, monogamous relationship, or if you are not quite ready to be double-fucked by two guys, try this toy. It would probably fall into the sex toy category of “cock extenders,” although it does not extend or expand the top’s penis. Rather, it attaches a dildo to his dick and gives you the opportunity to “take two” without a third man present. Oxballs makes some of the world’s best anal toys, great for all us pigs into extreme ass play. 

39. Sex Music

This may be a surprising cap to this list — no one ever talks about tunes as a sexual enhancer. Background music not only sets the mood, but it is also one of the cheapest sexual accoutrements you will buy, and certainly one of the most effective.

Mr. S Leather sells album mixes from one of the North American leather world’s favorite DJs, M. Arana, who has been a repeat guest at the Folsom Street Fair and DJed the San Francisco Leather Ball, the Mr. Fire Island Leather Contest, the Mr. East Coast Rubber Contest in New York, and other sexually-charged events. His mixes sound like darkrooms and play areas and immediately make you feel nasty. And much to my surprise, his albums are available on iTunes alongside other sex music-makers like Tony Barre and the old-school Butt Boy (known for tracks like “Phallidance” and “The Sling”).

If you’re looking for something that sounds less like a dungeon and more like a dance club, try the young LA-based EDM artist TR/ST — his sexed-up, mopey tracks like “Are We Arc?” on his recent album Joyland are great for a relaxed fisting session. 

Hungry for more? Don’t miss „36 Fetishes Every Gay Man Should Know“ and „30 Kinky Terms Every Gay Man Needs to Know.“

1. This spontaneous threesome:

„A guy once gave me his number out of the blue at a restaurant. A few weeks later I was bored and horny (and a little stoned) so I called him. He invited me over to his place to watch porn with him and his roommate. It wasn’t long before we were all in bed having a threesome. I’m happily married to a woman now, but I’m glad I did that back then. It was fun and it felt good.

„You don’t have to be gay to enjoy playing with a dick at some point!“

2. This fleeting moment of experimentation:

„I was in a weird place after a messy breakup with a long-term girlfriend when I was about 24. I don’t really know how or why I started, but I began watching and getting off to gay porn. The thing is, outside of watching porn, I don’t find men attractive at all. I have never checked out or noticed another man in a real-life situation, but I can completely fantasize about it if I’m watching gay porn.

„So after a few months of regularly getting off to gay porn I decided to seek out an opportunity to experiment and met with a guy in a parking lot of a local store. We went for a short drive and talked for a few minutes and I started backing out so he took me back to my car. We pulled up beside my car and he gave a last shot at keeping things going and asked if I just wanted to try holding his dick, and I agreed. He took it out and I started giving him a hand job, which lasted about a minute before I just went for it and started blowing him. I blew him for a few minutes in his car and then we decided I’d jump in my car and follow him back to his place just a few minutes away. We got to his house and I got back to sucking his dick on his couch, and he got my shorts off and rubbed my dick some while I blew him.

„After a few minutes he wanted to switch and go down on me, that’s when everything sort of hit. He was really excited to blow me, but I wasn’t the least bit hard and nothing he was doing was making it happen. I was just over it at this point — told him I was sorry but I needed to go, and bailed quickly. I felt bad ditching the guy. He seemed nice enough, but I had my moment of experimentation and realized it wasn’t what I was into.“

5. This whiskey-drinking date:

„My first hookup with a guy was a few years ago with a guy I met on Whisper. I’d been curious for a while before this happened. He identifies as gay. We drank some whiskey and one thing led to another and we ended up sucking each other’s dicks and making out for a while.“

6. These hand jobs between BFFs:

„I considered myself totally hetero at the time. I was hanging out with my BFF since fourth grade, who’s gay. We were probably both 19 or so. On two occasions, we put on some porn, starting masturbating, then gave each other (very excellent) hand jobs. I enjoyed the hell out of it until he came, and was freaked out/grossed out by encountering another dude’s semen. I never even considered getting involved with another guy for years after, and am happily married to a woman. But as I’ve gotten older and shed some cultural baggage, I’ve allowed myself to be attracted to men, and would totally date/sleep with the right guy.

„It was a very positive experience; I learned a lot about myself and LGBT issues, and the guy is still my BFF.“

9. This not-entirely-great first time:

„I was 18 and just lost my virginity to a girl. I had always wondered if I was actually gay, so I started looking at both genders on Tinder. I matched with a 22-year-old guy and we ended up having sex in the woods near his house. He was actually really strange and I didn’t feel comfortable about it at all. I’ve hooked up and had sex with other guys since then, but always in a period of severe loneliness. I’m not really sure I’m gay, but I’m probably not entirely straight either. Looking back on it, I don’t regret all of my male sexual experiences, but the first one has always left me feeling a bit disgusted with myself.“

10. This frat party with a happy ending:

„During my second semester in college, I ended up moving out of the dorms and into the apartment of a friend I had from a fraternity I was in. I kind of sensed that he was attracted to me, but I never paid any mind to it. Everyone was pretty sure he was gay, but none of that mattered. I myself was known for sleeping around, and I was in an on-and-off relationship, but never considered myself gay.

„One night, we had a small party at our place, with people coming and going all night. Things got wild, and I ended up trashed. Everyone did.

„Everyone ended up leaving, and I went to my room to wind down. My roommate ended up stumbling into my room and landed on my bed. I just laid there and blew it off. He started getting handsy, and I immediately knew where this was going. He told me to relax, and I was pretty horny anyways. He ended up giving me a blowjob, and it was completely mind-blowing. We ended up doing things the rest of the time I lived with him. I eventually reciprocated, but we never did anything aside from oral or masturbation.

„Looking back, I have no regrets about any of it. I don’t think it defined my sexuality, because I still identify as straight. It was a good experience, and I wouldn’t change anything.“

11. This hookup after a buddy came out as bi:

„When I was 13, one of my best friends told me he was bi. Later that night at his house, we were watching a movie and he started playing with my crotch with his feet, and ended up unzipping my pants. He asked if he could give me a blowjob and I said sure. He did, but I couldn’t give one to him because it was too weird for me at the time. That was my first sexual experience in general, let alone man-on-man experience. I didn’t end up having sex with a girl until I was 18, five years after that gay experience.“

12. This ~ride~ home:

„One of my high school best friends is gay. One time I gave him a ride home and he jokingly said, ‚I’d offer to blow you but my tits are in the shop.‘ I was 18 and probably just hearing ‚tits‘ was enough to get me hard. So I unzipped my pants and took my dick out kind of joking, kind of not. He started sucking and I kept driving until we got close to his house and he told me to pull over and I blew my load in his mouth and then he said he was going to eat my ass. He got out of the car, walked around to the driver’s side and opened my door. I got out and leaned onto my car and he ate my ass for a long time. This was on a suburban cul-de-sac (he loves puns so maybe that was part of his plan). Anyway it was unreal. It felt so good my legs were shaking. I kinda came again but there wasn’t much and he said, ‚You don’t have any more for me?‘ And I thought that was so hot that someone wanted my cum that much.

„I finished driving him home and stayed up all night kind of grossed out, but not? Also I’m embarrassed to admit I worried about AIDS. I was so nervous to see him at school. But he claimed not to remember anything ’cause he was drunk. He wasn’t that drunk though. Nothing like that has happened since.

„We’re still friends; he’ll be a groomsman in my wedding next year. No girl has ever offered to eat my ass. I’ve met a few of his boyfriends and wonder if my dick is bigger than theirs. This all makes me sound pretty gay but I’m really not.“

13. This longtime friendship with benefits:

„We were friends that had known each other since first grade. About the time we were 10 or 11, we changed in front of each other and started to compare body parts. The two of us comparing body parts continued to grow, and as we grew into our adolescent years we began feeling each other, experimented with hand jobs, blow jobs, and we ended up going all the way. We were each other’s firsts for everything sexually speaking, and it started out as just being curious and figuring out what felt good sexually.

„My friend and I still remain friends to this day. While we were experimenting, we would both talk about what we were doing with each other, and say that we both liked girls and didn’t feel gay, but we were confused about why we would always do homosexual things with each other. He was the only guy I have ever hooked up with, and as far as I know, I was the only dude he’s hooked up with. The sexual things we did together stopped soon after high school, and we haven’t brought it up since.“

14. This epic blow job that has you wondering if you’re straight after all:

„Me and my friends were out at the pub last Wednesday, and we miiiiight have drunk a bit too much. One thing led to another and we were talking about how long it had been since each of us had sex. We joked about giving each other blowjobs, and one of my friends happened to be gay. He leaned over and whispered he was going to give me the best blowjob of my life. Because I was so drunk, we went to the bathroom together. I have to say it was a pretty good blowjob.

16. This effective stress-relief strategy:

„For me it happens spontaneously when stressed. I go through most of my life not even considering gay sex, then I get some kind of stress, usually work-related. Next thing I know I’m literally bumping into guys cruising for sex and I’m almost on gay autopilot. Afterwards I usually feel less stressed but guilty as well.“

17. This visit to a gay spa:

„I’ve never been attracted to men, but I was curious for a long time about what it’d be like to play with another person’s cock. Eventually I ended up visiting a gay spa and sucking off some random guy through a gloryhole.

„I think my strongest memories were of being surprised at how warm his cock was and how strongly I could feel his pulse through it. I also had variations of ‚I can’t believe I’m doing this‘ running through my head for most of the time, but that just made it better in a strange way.

„Basically, it was a fun experience. It didn’t teach me anything about my sexuality that I didn’t already know, but it certainly satisfied my curiosity.“

What Is a Pet Name?

Just like a nickname you’d use for a best friend, in the dating world, pet names express fondness (which isn’t to say they can’t be used to poke a little fun, too!). When it comes to your significant other, you may have a nickname for them that you use in front of friends or while out and about, but do you have a special name for them in between the sheets?

Some people need a sexy nickname for a line of work such as go-go dancing, or perhaps for a screen name online. Whatever the case, you’ve landed on this page because you are exploring the possibility of a sexy nickname. Maybe you are even looking for one for your . . . um . . . package? Anyways, let’s move on, shall we?

Looking for a spicy nickname for your man? This list has names both naughty has nice.

Comments

„yo wtf… y’all cant be serious right?? who the hell came up with „gully wompkus“ or „burrot grande“? y’all on drugs srsly“ this deadass just made me bust out laughing

Dude no one cares and i have a new bf and he calls me kitty and kitten

yo wtf… y’all cant be serious right?? who the hell came up with „gully wompkus“ or „burrot grande“? y’all on drugs srsly

She calles ms daddY I’m a female but idm so i call her kitten

My girlfriend keep calling me alpha after she saw this web

my crush calls me baby girl in a flirty way because he teases me for being short

my boyfriend calls me baby girl, cause im short and known as the baby in our friend groups

Yes, because I love it when my boyfriend calls me patty melt

I call my wife tall fry and tthe other day she called me „mommy“ and also „big daddy“ ah! I was blushing for the next our. and or „shawty“ because im short.

I call my girlfriend The Whole Package or The Whole Damn Package

Her name is sugar pie and my name is honey bunch … We love each other and we use those names when we are kissing

Master-Kitten(you can make comments like, “kitty wanna sit on my lap,” or “kitty wanna get pet.”)

Owner-puppy (good for couples into collars and leashes during sex)

Alpha-Omega(sounds slightly better for man/man relationships)

Master-Kitten(you can make comments like, “kitty wanna sit on my lap,” or “kitty wanna get pet.”)

Owner-puppy (good for couples into collars and leashes during sex)

Alpha-Omega(sounds slightly better for man/man relationships)

I call her nut, bc I make her eat PB and J, and she makes me N U T

I am his baby girl which you didn’t mention and I call him big daddy

I need a gf for a long or short term relationship may be for fun too

ok i love this but the only one i could find was caliente and papito and i call him both of those

I wanna say “hey stud” or “hey muffin” to my bf in the morning. It’ll be the first time I give him a nickname. Which one should I use

thanks my man is super hot so his name is my cucumber

I’m the biggest flirter in the world,i mean I’m Irish

I got so many names from my boyfriend. I love it all. Buttercup, Cutie Pie, Little Sucker, Little Sinner, Bulldog, Beautiful, Sexy, Good Girl, Daddy’s Good Girl, Freaking Sweet, Baby beast, Demon Baby LoL

My boyfriend also says to me hey “belle” let me be your beast

Thank u for giving me a nice name for calling my girl.

call some one trixy poo and you gonna end up single

I called my man mi amor he looked at me and I think I like it thanks!

Some of them are so cute then there’s the rest that are so stupid, but I have to admit they are so cute, I already have a nickname from my crush it’s baby momma

Tbh with you…I don’t really like these. Most of these are cringe not cute at all

very good site and helps you to get your nicknames fast

I put my name in before this, could you say yes but cross out my name? love you-Jessa

Thanks for these names, my boyfriend keeps on calling me all the cute names and kissing me, while there I am just sitting there calling him by his real name! PS. I don’t think it’s the best idea to call your guy/chick, something like DRAGON!

Just wanted too say Thanks for all theses cool cute names i use them on This Nerd named Samuel, we knew eachother since our childhood and we been best friends for so long, and i really like him, hes got the cutest Red Hair shaved on both i’ve been dating him for 2 years, and Always slam my hand on the wall behind him and lean in close too call him one those cute would sometimes fall over blushing.

Daddy issues, money, or perfectly natural?

Thomas Gass, a dentist in California, has survived the curse—twice. The curse? Gass is a gay man whose only sexual attraction is to men significantly older than he is.

Gass lost his first partner, 28 years his senior, through the slowly deteriorating effects of Lou Gehrig’s disease after they had been together for 13 years. After recovering from his grief, he found love again with a man 18 years older but endured another tragic loss when his second partner died of pancreatic cancer after they had spent 17 years together. Still a relatively young man, Gass might wonder whether or not to take a chance on loving an older man again. For him, however, the choice is between an older man or no man at all. Gass and his friends—all of whom had lost older life partners—have labeled their abiding sexual attraction “the curse of being attracted to older men.”

I began to study same-sex relationships with age disparities while conducting research for my book, Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight. Gass and I started to correspond after he and his friends had read and discussed my essay, “Age as a Factor in Sexual Orientation and Attraction.” He wrote that in their discussion, some common themes emerged:

1. The younger men have more interest in sports than their partners and their gay peers who are attracted to men their own age.

2. The younger men tend to be more masculine than their gay peers who are attracted to men their own age.

3. The younger men prefer older men with endomorphic bodies (belly fat, strong bones, and sturdy thighs).

While these observations are purely anecdotal and subjective, the comments resonated with some of my own observations. I would add another:

4. The younger man has a high need to please others.

A young man once said to me, “I like men with rounded corners; they have all their sharp edges worn off.” It struck me as being true, both literally and metaphorically. Another younger man commented, “I like a man with a bit of a belly so I have somewhere to lay my head.” This parallels the same fascination that many heterosexual men have for women’s breasts. The younger men I interviewed seemed drawn to men freed from the tyranny of testosterone, expressing their greater attraction to wisdom, stability, commitment, experience, and maturity.

Gass went on to say that these relationships are often misunderstood, perhaps especially by the LGBTQ community. He wrote, “I struggle more to explain my attraction to older gay men to my gay friends than I do to my straight friends.” It’s difficult to explain when you don’t understand it yourself.

What defines “age disparity in relationships”? An old rule of thumb of unknown origins prescribes, “Never date anyone less than half your age plus seven.” No one has collected reliable statistics, but age disparity seems to occur more frequently in gay relationships than in heterosexual ones.

In 2016, the New York Times published an opinion piece by former Pennsylvania Senator Harris Wofford, who at 90 years old was planning to marry Matthew Charlton, his 40-year-old lover, whom he had been together with for 15 years. Senator Wofford had spent nearly half a century married to his wife, Clare, who died when they were both almost 70. Writing about Matthew, Wofford said, “To some, our bond is entirely natural, to others it comes as a strange surprise,” and this tension is reflected in the comments posted about the essay. The most common sentiment was “OMG,” with a running theme of “There’s no fool like an old fool.”

While a 50-year age difference is an outlier, other well-known May-December couples have captured the public’s attention: the late neurologist and author Oliver Sacks, M.D., and writer Bill Hayes (27-year difference in age), British-American author Christopher Isherwood and Don Bachardy (30-year difference), and British actor Stephen Fry and Elliot Spencer (30-year difference). Various derogatory labels are used to describe such couples: sugar daddy, gold digger, trophy husband, or boy-toy. But in the case of a celebrity, the tabloid headlines these labels may be used in sensationalistic ways, or even include more virulently homophobic names like pedophile and predatory pervert.

Although atypical, are these relationships abnormal? Senator Wofford wrote that although some people are skeptical about his relationship, “most soon see the strength of our feelings and our devotion to each other.”

For the younger partner, one characteristic of “the curse” is that these relationships often end too soon. In many cases, the relationship involves dedicated caregiving, as so poignantly described in “In Sickness and in Health: A Couple’s Final Journey,” a Pulitzer Prize-winning story about Chris MacLellan’s caring for his partner, Richard Schiffer (26-year difference,) who died slowly of esophageal cancer. Although one comment on Senator Wofford’s essay said about the younger partner, “He opted for custodial work with a senior citizen,” many of these younger men put their own lives on hold to become heavily invested caregivers that heterosexual couples can only envy.

Another part of the curse, though, is the prejudice and misunderstanding that these couples face, often receiving their greatest criticism from members of their own LGBTQ community. (Even the older partner initially may doubt the seriousness of the younger man’s interest.) According to Gass, the most tiresome rationalizationadoption?” Comments about money are often central—for example, a way to inherit untaxed assets or the need for a good prenup for the children’s sake. In fact, however, many of the younger men are more independent and financially secure than their older partners, and they resent the implications that surround their motivations. Another part of the curse is that these relationships are endlessly analyzed for “daddy issues.”

The older man, particularly if he was in a heterosexual marriage previously and came out later in life, is apt to hear, “You must have spent many years cruising and picking up men behind your wife’s back,” or “You couldn’t possibly have loved your wife sexually.” While true for some, it is definitely not true for all. When the older man has children—sometimes older than his partner—many incorrectly doubt that the couple will be accepted by family members, predicting family discord on a staggering level.

Another frequent characteristic of the curse is the belief that the relationship can’t be based on passion, that the only old men who think about sex are “dirty old men.” I was once asked by a young gay man, “Why did you come out at 40? You’re too old for sex.” In fact, most men can remain sexually active well into late life, although men’s sexual functioning changes over time. But these gay couples may be far more sexually active than many same-sex couples.

Some people assume that infidelity is a given because their sexual interests can’t be equal—as if heterosexual couples always have evenly balanced sexual interests. It has been suggested that satisfying sex cannot occur without wet kisses and swelling organs, which reduces gay sexuality to nothing more than sex, and it implies that older men are incapable of having erections. But sex that has both emotional and physical intimacy and when it is expressed in slow time, it may be far more satisfying. No age cutoff exists for exciting, interesting, and satisfying sex.

One recurring question remains: “How can a man have a mutually satisfying sex life with a wife and then have a sudden revelation that he’s gay? Doesn’t this contradict the idea that gay people are ‘born this way’?” It can be confusing, even for those of us who’ve experienced it, but the mind has a powerful capacity not to see what it doesn’t want to or isn’t ready to perceive. I don’t believe we have a choice about our sexual attractions, but gay men and women—just as any heterosexual person—have a choice about how they respond to sexual desire. Behavior and identity are not the same things; they are not consistent from one person to the next or sometimes even within the same individual.

How we express our sexuality depends on many variables, including socialization, culture, religion, geography, and psychological health. Sexuality is likely more fluid than once thought. Saying “I am gay” is a statement that our attractions, our behavior, and our self-identity are in unison, and when that happens—if it ever does—it suggests a willingness to proclaim our sexuality regardless of the consequences. It says, „I belong somewhere, and I am not alone.“

We don’t know much about the origins of sexual attraction, but what we are just beginning to understand is that for some young men, attraction to older men is a constant part of their sexual attraction matrix, and it generally remains fixed no matter their age. 1 What we can be certain of is that to consider money the basis of these relationships or to deny that they might have an erotic dimension degrades the people involved in them. Such beliefs are based on stereotypes. Sexual attraction isn’t rational, and to seek rational explanations for it diminishes the mystery and excitement of loving another.

1. Seto, M, „The Puzzle of Male Chronophilias,“ Archives of Sexual Behavior, Augsust 22, 2016 (copy obtained from author).

What does gay chastity mean, and what’s the difference between a chastity belt and chastity cage?

What does gay chastity mean, and what’s the difference between a chastity belt and chastity cage?

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Sarah’s Most Recent Stories

There are a ton of beautiful men in Hollywood, but Tinsel Town’s gay elite are some of the most exceptional, because there’s nothing sexier than owning and loving who you are.

For starters, take Queer Eye. The revival was a huge success, resonating with virtually everyone, spreading the message that beauty truly comes from within, regardless of your background, sexuality or gender. In particular, Jonathan Van Ness has emerged from the Fab Five as an activist for queer community — and we can’t forget about his gorgeous hair.

“Coming out can be scary, it also can be completely life affirming, both or neither,” Van Ness said. “Whoever you are & wherever you are in a coming out process you are loved. Even if you don’t know if you’re loved by yourself & by others in a community that are waiting for you.” And now we love him more than ever.

In the music space, Years & Years vocalist Olly Alexander looked amazing on the cover of Paper magazine. In an interview, he hit the nail on the head. “In many ways, this is the very best time to be a gay artist ever,” he said. “We wouldn’t be where we are today without all the gay artists that have come before us and broken down so many barriers. But barriers aren’t gone. Particularly for less privileged members of the queer community. There is this very insidious casual homophobia that exists in the fabric of everything, including the music industry.”

So, let’s take a moment to shine a spotlight on the men of Hollywood who are out and proud — and gorgeous.

Continued

In nearly every study of sexual behavior, the percentage of men who report sex with men is higher than the percentage of men who report being gay.

So Pathela and colleagues first asked the men if they were bisexual, gay, or straight. Then they asked about specific sexual behaviors.

Also, a man who says he is straight but is having sex with other men is more likely to be married than a straight man who has sex with women, according to the survey. Only 54% of the men who say they’re straight and have sex with women are married, compared with the 70% marriage rate among the men who say they’re straight but have sex with men.

Continued

Pathela and colleagues note that because they report fewer STDs and fewer sex partners than gay men, straight-identified men who have sex with men may think they are at lower risk of HIV and STDs. This isn’t necessarily so.

The men with whom these straight-identified men have sex may themselves have multiple sex partners and elevated STD and HIV risk. The low rate of condom use makes the straight-identified men vulnerable.

„Prevention messages should focus on the activities that pose risk — for example, unprotected receptive anal sex — and should not be framed to appeal solely to gay-identified men,“ Pathela and colleagues suggest.

The findings appear in the Sept. 19 issue of the Annals of Internal Medicine.

View allAll Photos Tagged Gay Sex

Closeup, rawr Shots, Infos and Credits on my BLOG

Closeup, rawr Shots, Infos and Credits on my BLOG

This image shot at the Hijra Sammelan in Mumbai had garnered 235299 views than I blocked it for a few years from my hijra set and Flickr timeline , now I have bought it hijra lady is Simran a rare hybrid beauty from Delhi.

This image shot at the Hijra Sammelan in Mumbai had garnered 235299 views than I blocked it for a few years from my hijra set and Flickr timeline , now I have bought it hijra lady is Simran a rare hybrid beauty from Delhi.

Hundreds of protesters rallied with signs to counter prostest against members of the Westboro Baptist Church who picketed in front of Glen Burnie high school in Glen Burnie, Md.

© yonathansantana – 2009 Todos los derechos reservados All rights reserved Please don’t use this image on websites, blogs or other media without my explicit permission.

© yonathansantana – 2009 Todos los derechos reservados All rights reserved Please don’t use this image on websites, blogs or other media without my explicit permission.

Well, I think this speaks for itself. I bet Pat Roberts jacks off to this.

Hazard a guess who which absurdly hot „straight“ gay porn star was prancing around outside my office all fucking day shirtless yammering into his sidekick with his girlfriend while waiting to film his scene while I tried (and failed) to get a single thing done all fucking day?

Hazard a guess who which absurdly hot „straight“ gay porn star was prancing around outside my office all fucking day shirtless yammering into his sidekick with his girlfriend while waiting to film his scene while I tried (and failed) to get a single thing done all fucking day?

DC Philly United players relax while waiting for further infomration for games postponed due to the weather. More details at my blog, Gay Sex and Advanced Calculus at

You’re a handsome & hot male avatar? You like sex? Have you always wanted to work as a porn actor? – Now is your chance: Apply now for a shooting on Ruben`s CASTING COUCH!

Send me a message & let’s make an appointment for your in-world shooting… let’s find out if and how talented you are… and if you are ready for a big role in a porn story!

Ruben wears AESTHETIC GYM SHORTS WHITE from [LeCock] [MARKETPLACE] [INWORLD]

Ruben wears Canvas Sneaker! High from [::ROC::] [MARKETPLACE] [INWORLD]

V12 Shop System by UIC – Urban Industry Creations :: [Your taxi to the UIC SL shop] >

The sofa transforms into a bed with all comforts and extra decors, complete with fully personalized texture levels changer. – 100% BENTO – AEROS COCK READY – BONDAGE + BDSM – TEXTURE CHANGE 24 x 3 LEVELS – ALL DECOR INCLUDED WITH TEXTURE CHANGE – 653 BENTO ANIMATIONS – SOUNDS AND LIGHTS INCLUDED – SOFA 323 ANIMATIONS – 9 SEQUENCES + 1 SPEED CONTROL – BED 330 ANIMATIONS – 8 SEQUENCES + 2 SPEED CONTROLS – AUTOMATIC PROPS – FULLY SCRIPTED

You’re a handsome & hot male avatar? You like sex? Have you always wanted to work as a porn actor? – Now is your chance: Apply now for a shooting on Ruben`s CASTING COUCH!

Send me a message & let’s make an appointment for your in-world shooting… let’s find out if and how talented you are… and if you are ready for a big role in a porn story!

Ruben wears AESTHETIC GYM SHORTS WHITE from [LeCock] [MARKETPLACE] [INWORLD]

Ruben wears Canvas Sneaker! High from [::ROC::] [MARKETPLACE] [INWORLD]

V12 Shop System by UIC – Urban Industry Creations :: [Your taxi to the UIC SL shop] >

The sofa transforms into a bed with all comforts and extra decors, complete with fully personalized texture levels changer. – 100% BENTO – AEROS COCK READY – BONDAGE + BDSM – TEXTURE CHANGE 24 x 3 LEVELS – ALL DECOR INCLUDED WITH TEXTURE CHANGE – 653 BENTO ANIMATIONS – SOUNDS AND LIGHTS INCLUDED – SOFA 323 ANIMATIONS – 9 SEQUENCES + 1 SPEED CONTROL – BED 330 ANIMATIONS – 8 SEQUENCES + 2 SPEED CONTROLS – AUTOMATIC PROPS – FULLY SCRIPTED

Dan is a hottie who belongs to the Kansas City gay swim team. He also plays sex… (ahem)… I mean sax in the KC gay band.

Same-sex marriage in Brazil has been legal since 16 May 2013, following a National Justice Council decision, which orders notaries of every state to perform same-sex marriages.

Same-sex unions had already been legally recognized since 2004. Following a ruling of the Supreme Court of Brazil, so-called stable unions (Portuguese: união estável) had been available for same-sex couples since May 2011. These unions were granted most of the rights of marriages, including adoption, welfare benefits, pension, inheritance tax, income tax, social security, health benefits, immigration, joint property ownership, hospital and prison visitation, IVF and surrogacy. This decision paved the way for future legislation on same-sex matrimonial rights. Before the nationwide legislation, the states of Alagoas, Bahia, Ceará, Espírito Santo, the Federal District, Mato Grosso do Sul, Paraíba, Paraná, Piauí, Rondônia, Santa Catarina, São Paulo, and Sergipe, as well as the city of Santa Rita do Sapucaí (MG), had already allowed same-sex marriages and several unions were converted into full marriages by state judges. In Rio de Janeiro, same-sex couples could also marry but only if local judges agreed with their request.

According to Ibope, support for same-sex couples having the same rights as different-sex couples in Brazil in 2017 was 49%, with 38% opposing. Support was higher among women, young people, people with higher educational levels and Brazilians living in the South region of the country.

The 2017 AmericasBarometer showed that 52% of Brazilians supported same-sex marriage.

Same-sex marriage (also known as gay marriage or marriage equality) is the marriage of two persons of the same sex or gender, entered into in a civil or religious ceremony.

As of 2 April 2019, same-sex marriage is legally performed and recognized (nationwide or in some jurisdictions) in:

Same-sex marriage in Brazil has been legal since 16 May 2013, following a National Justice Council decision, which orders notaries of every state to perform same-sex marriages.

Same-sex unions had already been legally recognized since 2004. Following a ruling of the Supreme Court of Brazil, so-called stable unions (Portuguese: união estável) had been available for same-sex couples since May 2011. These unions were granted most of the rights of marriages, including adoption, welfare benefits, pension, inheritance tax, income tax, social security, health benefits, immigration, joint property ownership, hospital and prison visitation, IVF and surrogacy. This decision paved the way for future legislation on same-sex matrimonial rights. Before the nationwide legislation, the states of Alagoas, Bahia, Ceará, Espírito Santo, the Federal District, Mato Grosso do Sul, Paraíba, Paraná, Piauí, Rondônia, Santa Catarina, São Paulo, and Sergipe, as well as the city of Santa Rita do Sapucaí (MG), had already allowed same-sex marriages and several unions were converted into full marriages by state judges. In Rio de Janeiro, same-sex couples could also marry but only if local judges agreed with their request.

According to Ibope, support for same-sex couples having the same rights as different-sex couples in Brazil in 2017 was 49%, with 38% opposing. Support was higher among women, young people, people with higher educational levels and Brazilians living in the South region of the country.

The 2017 AmericasBarometer showed that 52% of Brazilians supported same-sex marriage.

Same-sex marriage (also known as gay marriage or marriage equality) is the marriage of two persons of the same sex or gender, entered into in a civil or religious ceremony.

As of 2 April 2019, same-sex marriage is legally performed and recognized (nationwide or in some jurisdictions) in:

We’re saying goodbye 2020 and dance into the New Year 2021 with sexy friends and fun!

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We’re saying goodbye 2020 and dance into the New Year 2021 with sexy friends and fun!

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