10 Best Gay and LGBTQ+ Dating Sites and Apps 2021

According to an Urban Institute study, LGBTQ+ singles experienced a sexual victimization rate of 23.2%. That’s roughly 11% higher than the heterosexual rate. From outlandish statistics to negative experiences, one thing has become blatantly obvious: queer, transgender, and pansexual singles need their own space.

And that’s where LGBTQ+ dating apps come in. Providing an open, safe, and supportive arena for anyone to date anyone else in any way they please, these dating sites and apps are growing in popularity. With millions of members worldwide, LGBTQ+ dating apps cater to those who identify their gender and sexuality differently than the average heterosexual.

The best dating apps for gay users, since meeting people IRL is hellish

Most people have at least one horror story about online dating. It’s a rite of passage that single people love to hate.

But the horror stories look a little different for members of the LGBTQ community. On top of the classic awkward Hinge date anecdotes and screenshots of a corny bio seeping with secondhand embarrassment, gay singles deal with all sorts of alienating interactions. Baseless questioning of sexual history, harassment, and fetishization — most of it coming from cis straight people who shouldn’t have popped up in your feed in the first place — don’t exactly give one butterflies.

Still, dating apps have become crucial means of introduction for gay folks looking to settle down. A 2019 Stanford study and 2020 Pew Research survey found that meeting online has become the most popular way for U.S. couples to connect — especially for gay couples, of which 28% met their current partner online (versus 11% of straight couples).

But the Pew survey also dredged up those ugly experiences with harassment. This could be where options that bar heterosexual users, like HER and Grindr, come in. Their perfectly-tailored environments are so well-known in the gay community that they’re essentially in a league of their own.

That’s not to say that they’re in the queer dating app market alone. Apps like Zoe, Taimi, and Scruff exist. But their plateauing popularity can be attributed to similar complaints: too many scam profiles and too few legitimate users (ones within a reasonable distance to plan a date, anyway). Chappy was a promising app for gay men that shut down just as it was gaining serious traction.

And at the end of the day, „everyone“ apps are simply where masses of queer users are. Keeping Tinder on the back burner isn’t just a straight people thing, especially for those who live in less-populated areas where Grindr and HER have slim pickings. Plus, some mainstream apps do deserve credit for the steps they’ve taken to create a more inclusive atmosphere. Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge now offer lots of sexual orientation and gender identity options. OkCupid gets kudos for making that change years ago, as well as making social justice a core part of compatibility scoring — which kind of self-curates the type of people on the app.

If you’re LGBTQ and hate leaving your home, you’re not alone. Here are the best dating apps and sites that’ll maximize your opportunities while minimizing your human contact. Bless. (For the best dating apps specifically for lesbians, go here.)

The best dating apps for gay users, since meeting people IRL is hellish

Gay dating: Men seeking men in the US

The serious relationship, a casual encounter or just friendship.

The possibilities are endless when you use gay dating sites to meet same-sex people in your area and want to start a new love adventure.

Is online gay dating a good alternative to find long-lasting love?

In this new chapter of our Dating Guide: The Best Niche Dating Sites in the US, we explore the potential of gay dating sites, apps and chats.

Gay dating: Men seeking men in the US

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The best dating sites for finding a serious relationship in the UK

Anyone who’s been doing the online dating thing for a while knows that there’s hookup culture and then there’s long-term relationship dating culture. Most dating sites have a mix of both, and after living with online dating as an increasingly ubiquitous option for the past 20 years, the general public mostly sees dating sites as a normal means to find casual dates or a hookup.

Where does this leave you if you’re looking for a serious relationship or something long-term? What if you just don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day ever again? What if you’re over casual dating and just want someone to come home to? What if you have no idea where to start? Keep reading.

The best dating sites for finding a serious relationship in the UK

How to Get a Man (for Gay Men)

This article was co-authored by Marissa Floro, Ph.D.. Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures. There are 23 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article received 25 testimonials and 100% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 1,788,529 times.

Finding a good man can be a struggle for a lot of guys. You have to figure out where to meet them, how to approach them, and then how to gain and keep their attraction. For people that don’t naturally have good social skills, it can be like solving a puzzle. Luckily, there are techniques you can use and things you can do to not only get a man but maintain a strong and healthy relationship for the long run.

10 Rules For Dating When You Want a Serious Relationship

In some ways, online dating and social media have leveled the playing field: Women can take charge of their dating and sex lives in ways they haven’t before. We can initiate dates or group hangouts just as easily as men do. The dating world revolves around making the right proactive choices — and this means that if you’re ready for a monogamous relationship, you have to be clear about your goals, both to yourself and prospective partners.

1. Finding a partner is a project and requires time and energy. If what you want is a long-term relationship, approach it with your goals in mind. The right mindset is key: Start out by knowing that you are in control of the process.

2. If you’re looking online, do your profile with a friend — this will help you lighten up. Don’t boast or be self-deprecating. Be funny, short and concise, and don’t sound too cutesy. A photo that shows you actively pursuing an interest is good because it offers information without being wordy.

3. Scan profiles selectively. Pick out three or four guys and signal your interest. When you contact someone, refer to a remark he/she made in their profile. If someone shows an interest in your profile, remember that you are not obligated to respond unless you want to. You be the judge.

4. With several prospects, start an email exchange. But limit your emails to no more than two or three before suggesting a face-to-face meeting. Anyone who wants to prolong emailing is not interested in a relationship. He/she likes the anonymity of email flirting. Avoid this person — he could be married, in another relationship or just a creep.

4. Arrange a coffee or drink at a convenient location. Talk about things you like to do, your job, college stories or recent experiences. (Be on time — showing up is at least 50% of success!)

5. Pay attention to whether there is a good balance in the conversation. Does he dominate? Do you? Are you finding common interests? Avoid talking about your or his problems. Do not give advice even if he is begging for it; this is a bad way to start. Stay upbeat.

6. On first dates, make sure you have other plans afterward and keep them, regardless of how things are going. If you’re underwhelmed with this person, you will have a good escape route. If you are having a great time and don’t want to leave, stick to your previous plan. If you are interested, say so explicitly upon leaving. (This may sound too forward, but there is nothing wrong about being clear.)

7. Offer to split the check. Nowadays, single, college-educated women under the age of 30 are often making more money than men, so don’t stand on ceremony waiting for him to pay.

8. Wait to see if he initiates an email or text. If he doesn’t, cross him off your list. He’s not interested or available. Start over.

9. If he emails or texts (or makes the extra effort to make a phone call!), respond, but move along and suggest meeting again. This should be a real date with a fixed time and place. If he wants to keep it spontaneous, with something like „Let’s try for Tuesday,“ don’t bother putting it on your calendar. It’s just not likely to happen.

10. After you’ve met, beware of texts that arrive at odd times and are friendly but unaccompanied by a suggestion of a date. These are false positives because they suggest more intimacy than is real. Don’t be taken in. Most likely, he’s bored and is just playing with his phone. Respond only if you have seen him in person within the last week.

Postscript: If you start seeing someone on a fairly regular basis (at least once a week), realize that you are only beginning a relationship. Go slowly. Get to know him. See whether he is consistent, reliable and respectful. If you are sleeping exclusively with him and are beginning to take him seriously, consider discussing whether he is interested in having a monogamous relationship. If he balks, start over! The two of you don’t share the same goals.

10 Dating Tips For Gay Men (That, Really, EVERYONE Should Follow)

For the most part, gay men are like everyone else on the dating scene. They’re looking for affectionlove. Like their straight counterparts, gay men also desire connection, companionship and commitment. 

Unfortunately, the gay dating pool is viciously competitive. So, instead of fighting over the newest man meat on Grindr, I recommend these practical tips for gay men:

1. Get in the game. Sitting on the sidelines will get you nowhere. Either play the gay dating game or get out of the other gay guys‘ way! This doesn’t mean you have to play every day. The goal is for the single gay community to know you’re in circulation.

2. Try something new. Try a sparkling, new approach to gay dating. That is, if you’ve been doing the same thing and expecting a different result, then change detergents, add some fabric softener and try a new way of putting yourself out there. Going to the same coffee shop, grocery store and gym leads to the same scenery and the same results. Yawn! So instead, change it up!

3. Step out of the box. You love to run, hike and go to the theater. Great. Now what activity would be so out of the box for you, it might put you in a space to meet new guys, make friends with people who have gay friends or try a new hobby? Think of it this way: If you can step out of the closet, you can certainly step out of your rut!

4. Reflect what you desire. If you really want a guy who appreciates monogamy, then hanging out with people who have open relationships probably isn’t the best place to meet Mr. Right. From sex to finances and family to intellectual awareness, letting your true desires show up doesn’t make you weak, weird or wacky. It’s you being truly you, so let your authentic self shine. 

5. Stop making excuses. The more you make excuses for why your gay dating life is the toilet, the less chance of it shifting in a positive way. If every date you go on with a gay guy leads you to say, „He was nice, but … “ stop and ask yourself „Why are you always justifying your way out of dating?“

6. What’s sex got to do with it? Well, it depends on your position — no pun intended. Dating from the perspective of „it’s all about sex“ can pay off if that’s how you truly feel. Conversely, making sex the secondary acquisition can also be a home run. Regardless of your perspective, being honest with yourself all along is my point. When you hide from your truth, it won’t set you free. Plus, being honest with yourself is a great launching pad for honesty in your relationship. 

7. Ask yourself, „So what?“ Constantly in a tailspin with the same old audio tapes playing in your head? Do you always say: „Gay dating is such a chore,“ or, „Gay men just want sex,“ or „Every gay guy I meet only wants to talk about themselves?“ If so, start asking yourself, „So what?“

For example, „Gay dating is such a chore.“ So What? „When it becomes work, it’s not fun.“ So What? „If it’s not fun, then I might as well just stay home.“ So what? „If I stay home then I get depressed and lonely!“

Bingo! Gay dating is a chore that eventually leads to feeling depressed and lonely … or at least that’s what the replay of the tape your listening to is saying. So change the tape!

8. Be a fearless, foolish and fun-loving. Crazy as it sounds, one of these three „f-words“ could lead you to Mr. Right. First, be fearless in your gay dating pursuits. After all, if he thinks you’re afraid, you probably are, and your sweaty armpit stains will rat you out! If you can’t win them by being fearless, then be a little foolish, and let your heart lead you. Even if you feel like a fool, you’ll rack up the frequent heartbreak points that will eventually pay for an all-expenses-paid trip to true love. Finally, let the fun-loving gay dater in you out to play. What’s the worst that can happen? 

17 Signs He Seriously, Definitely, Positively Wants You — Bad

Have you ever asked yourself the question, “Is he serious about us?”

It’s easy to develop feelings for a man you’re dating and then wonder if he’s on the same page as you.

While guys might not come out and say it right away, they do a lot of the same things women do when they start to see you as someone they want to make a permanent part of their life.

Gay Dating Website Reviews

Are you fed up with the other gay men you’re meeting in your area? Are you having a tough time finding the relationship you’re looking for? A gay dating site can help make it easier to find that special someone — whether you are looking for a casual relationship or a long-term relationship.

In the article below, we’ll review five of the best gay dating sites. Read through our reviews, and you should be able to find the best site to help you find love.

Profiles in United States of America

Only Lads is a great place to meet gay and bisexual guys in United States of America. If you’re looking for gay chat or free gay dating in United States of America, then you’ve come to the right place! Thousand of guys are chatting around the clock.

10 Signs a Taurus Man is Serious About You

When you’re dating a Taurus guy, you may wonder if you have a serious Taurus man or if he’s just playing you.

So, how can you tell whether or not he takes your relationship seriously?

Their practicality makes Taurus men slow to admit their feelings, so it’s no wonder you might be having a hard time figuring out where you stand.

But there are a few clues specific to his zodiac sign that will reveal how much he cares about your relationship.

By learning more about his zodiac sign’s typical personality traits and behaviors in love, you will be able to determine whether or not your Taurus man is serious about you.

Why (Some) Gay Men Won’t Date Transmen

When I read this comment I was reminded of the many social media posts I’ve read about discrimination against transgender people on gay men’s ‘dating’ apps. Some users block all transgender users in advance, refusing to consider them as romantic or sexual partners. Others use app filters to exclude transmen or state outright “no trans” in their profiles.

Alongside the high level of violence against trans peopledebate about when to disclose a transgender identity to prospective partners. In a dating app profile? During a first or second date? Only when a relationship gets serious or physical? There seems to be no perfect answer. All options entail risk.

So, when I read the above response, I was saddened. But I wasn’t exactly surprised.

I know some gay men are happy to consider transmen as possible romantic and sexual partners but they seem to be a minority. One 2018 study found only about 12% of gay men, 29% of lesbians, and 48% of bisexual/queer/non-binary people say they’d be willing to date a transgender partner. Even with those dismal numbers, transmen were seen more favorably than transwomen, even when that seemed to contradict a respondent’s sexual orientation (i.e. lesbians preferring transmen over transwomen as partners). The researchers attributed these results partly to “transphobia.”

Though gendered behaviors, identities, and appearances are highly regulated, the specifics of those regulations are rarely expressed directly. Rather, social norms regarding gender become known when they’re violated. It’s in the breach that many taken-for-granted social rules about gender are revealed.

One of those unspoken truths is the expectation that everyone’s gender presentation correspond to their biological sex. Over the course of our lives, most of us have relatively little access to the direct evidence of other people’s biological sex — their genitals, gonads, hormones, brain structure and function, and genetics.

Rather, we make assumptions about people’s sex on the basis of their outward appearance: their hairstyle, clothing, ornamentation, and secondary sex characteristics such as body hair and facial shape.

And in popular usage, “sex” is often just shorthand for a person’s genitals. If someone ‘looks like a man’ we assume they’re biologically male with male-typical genitals: a penis and testicles. But we usually never know if this assumption is accurate.

In this sense, gender has a recursive relationship to biological sex. Although many firmly believe gender presentation is the inevitable unfolding of biological sex, in daily interactions we make assumptions about a person’s sex solely on the basis of their gender presentation. Then we credit their gender presentation to their biological sex, much of which remains largely unseen.

This act— called “gender attribution” — is so unconscious and automatic, we don’t give it any thought. It’s part of the everyday, interactive social ‘theater’ in which in individual gendered identities are constructed within society — by individuals and all those around them.

Unless they’ve had genital reconstruction surgery (sometimes also called gender affirmation or gender confirmation surgery), transgender people break this fundamental social rule about gender. Transgender people are those whose gender identity and, often, gender presentation don’t align with what’s expected for the sex they were labeled at birth.

Though they were labeled female or male at birth, they’ve come to identify as, respectively, men or women, and may choose to present a gendered appearance that aligns with that identity. But they don’t (by definition) have a biological sex that matches their identity and appearance. Even if they alter their bodies through surgery or hormones, some aspects of biological sex, like genetics and certain secondary sex characteristics, cannot be willingly changed.

Transgender people — well, anyone really — can be in for a lot of grief when it’s clear their gender presentation doesn’t match their biological sex in ways their society expects. Due to certain secondary sex characteristics — ratio of hip to shoulder width, facial hair and shape, Adam’s apple, brow ridge, height, etc. — it’s potentially easier for transgender men (those labelled female at birth) to successfully present as men than for transgender women (those labelled male at birth) to successfully present as women — but not always.

Expectation of an agreement between gender presentation and biological sex is so socially and culturally freighted that those who appear to be playing a gendered social role they aren’t ‘entitled to’ by virtue of their birth sex are often viewed as engaging in a disturbing social transgression, if not outright fraud or deception.

Like all of us, transfolk were born into a society that demands sex-gender accord despite a mountain of historical and cross-cultural evidence indicating great variability in both human sex and gender. Our ideology has not kept up with knowledge about natural human variability. The conflict is between the truth of transgender existence and the social rule that treats that truth like a lie.

What binds gay men together as ‘a people’ is shared sexual attraction and desire for other men. Though some speak of “same-gender loving men,” rather than gay men or male homosexuals, it is undeniable that, while gay men’s gender presentations are varied, there is still an unspoken expectation by gay-identifying men that other gay men are biologically male.

More specifically, there is an expectation that gay men possess male-typical genitals — a penis and testicles — and some presence of male-typical secondary sex characteristics. At least in this one sense, gay male culture is deeply conservative. It presumes a correspondence between (gay men’s) gender presentation and their biological sex. That’s not precisely transphobic but it’s also not accepting of the fact that such correspondences are not the case for many transgender people.

Though anal sex is undoubtedly the quintessential Gay Sex Act in the ‘straight imaginary,’ the penis is actually a much more potent sexual symbol in gay male culture. The mythical presence of a large, attractive, fully functioning male sex organ that can become erect, penetrate orifices, and project copious amounts of semen upon orgasm is central to gay male sexual desire, sexual behavior, and cultural representations. In this, gay culture is intensely phallocentric. It’s a culture oriented around the penis and its cultural representations.

I also don’tt think it an exaggeration to claim that possession of, and desire for, male-typical bodies is at the center of gay male culture and the raison d’etre for most gay male social spaces and cultural practices. It is assumed but never explicitly stated that self-identified gay men — transgender, agender, genderqueer, cisgender, etc. — in predominantly-gay males spaces share this understanding.

For these reasons, it does not seem unreasonable to me that masculine- or male-presenting people in a gay bar or on a gay ‘dating’ app will be presumed to have male bodies with male-typical genitals. Those spaces have been created to facilitate social, romantic, and sexual connections between just such persons.

But also because they contradict the underlying rationale for gay men’s spaces: that they’re primarily organized for the benefit of those who possess and desire male-typical bodies. For both these reasons, when transmen ‘out’ themselves in those spaces, they can be received as fraudulent, deceptive, or ‘out of place’.

We also need to be honest: some of the rejection toward transmen is rooted in misogyny, often expressed as fear or revulsion towards female bodies, especially female genitals. This antipathy is captured in the concept of the “gold star gay”: a gay man who has never had sex with a woman. Which (inevitably) gave rise to the concept of “platinum star gays”: gold star gays born by caesarean section (thus, have never had contact with female genitals).

More broadly, gay men’s misogyny is reflected in the oft-observed “femme-phobia” and “bottom shaming” in gay men’s culture, where feminine gender presentations or sex-role positions are stigmatized or ridiculed. Because they are socialized as men in a patriarchal society, many gay men internalize the same beliefs about women and femininity that everyone else has. Being gay is no proof against sexism or misogyny, even though many gay men believe otherwise.

And that misogyny plays a role in the construction of gay men’s spaces, and rejection of transmen as romantic and sexual partners — because transmen are assumed to have female-typical bodies with female-typical genitals and gonads. Though not all transmen have female-typical bodies — especially if they’ve undergone surgical body modifications — they are born-female by definition.

The meaning of the term “transphobia” is in flux (see here for some examples). It can describe extreme, irrational fear, aversion, or hatred of transgender people, or broader societal structures within which transgender people are not viewed as valid or legitimate.

Given the long history of gender variability and non-conformity among gay men and the celebration of drag and other kinds of cross-dressing by gay men, I don’t think gay men’s rejections of transmen as partners is an expression of hatred or intolerance of transgender people. I also don’t feel there’s a widely held belief among gay men that transgender people are invalid or illegitimate — though discrimination against transfolk in gay spaces is often reported.

Though gay men do seem to uphold in the broader social expectation that gender presentation align with biological sex, it’s not as though that expectation was created by gay men or that they’re also not victimized by it (as in the case of stigma and violence against effeminate gay men).

Rather, I suspect any rejection is symptomatic of a wider expectation that gender presentation correspond to biological sex; a desire for bodies possessing male-typical traits; and unacknowledged sexism and misogyny among gay men. Moreover, partnering with a person possessing female-typical sexual and reproductive anatomy would be inconsistent with many gay men’s sexual desires and self-conceptions as gay men, and the purpose of most gay men’s social spaces.

That might help explain some of the fervor of some gay men’s exclusion of transmen as partners. How does it affect a gay man’s own sexual identity if he’s attracted to a masculine-presenting person having female-typical anatomy including genitals? Is he still gay? Or is he bisexual or heterosexual? But beyond that, romantic or sexual attraction to such partners can call into question a gay man’s eligibility to participate in gay men’s social spaces and the LGBTQ community more broadly.

The fragility of these identities and spaces makes them less resilient when confronted with challenges to their foundational logic: that gay men are romantically and sexually attracted to other men (and “man” means masculine-presenting persons with male-typical sexual anatomies).

All of which illuminates the situation Kaig Lightner describes in the comment that opened this piece: the sudden revelation of his transgender identity was likely profoundly disorienting for his dance partner, who walked away rather than attempt to re-evaluate his sexual identity and relationship to his own community in the middle of a gay bar’s dance floor.

No amount of education, awareness, or empathy for transgender people or their experiences is going to persuade some gay men to undertake that journey. Probably the best we can hope for is more kindness and grace in gay men’s rejections of those they don’t view as prospective partners — no matter their gender identity.

Michael J. Murphy, PhD, is Associate Professor of Gender & Sexuality Studies at the University of Illinois Springfield. He is the author of many book chapters, and encyclopedia and journal articles. Most recently, he edited Living Out Loud: An Introduction to LGBTQ History, Society, and [email protected]

Dating gay

Gay dating is often thought to not be serious and imply no long-going intentions whatsoever. While for some men it can be true, for others such perspective only complicates the process of finding a partner which is not easy at all anyway. Gay dating sites and apps offer a chance to meet other gay guys, but will such relationship last? Not necessarily.

You might think that being gay you are doomed to either be a struggling lonely soul or a great flirt. We are absolutely sure: there is plenty fish in the sea for gay singles. Here at our aim is to help everyone in need of a soulmate and we believe that your chances multiply if you join or website!

Dating gay

Gay dating is often thought to not be serious and imply no long-going intentions whatsoever. While for some men it can be true, for others such perspective only complicates the process of finding a partner which is not easy at all anyway. Gay dating sites and apps offer a chance to meet other gay guys, but will such relationship last? Not necessarily.

You might think that being gay you are doomed to either be a struggling lonely soul or a great flirt. We are absolutely sure: there is plenty fish in the sea for gay singles. Here at our aim is to help everyone in need of a soulmate and we believe that your chances multiply if you join or website!

Our Top 10 Choices: Which Is Best For Your Needs?

Scissr – Best for lesbian culture, community, and dating 

Taimi – Best for trendy, social media-based dating 

1. HER

Membership options: Free with a paid premium version

Over the years, the pioneer in lesbian dating apps HER has developed into an all-inclusive platform for women and femmes of all types, identities, and sexual preferences. HER embraces and welcomes more than 18 gender identities and 17 sexual orientations on the profile selection list. HER’s app is easy to use, loaded with communication features, and even hosts local events for more community building.

2. Grindr

Membership options: Free with a paid premium version

Available for gay, bi, trans, and other queer singles, Grindr is one of the most popular dating apps with a reputation of men seeking hookups with other men. Thanks to its powerful geolocation feature, Grindr is a great social networking solution for people who’ve recently moved, relocated, are traveling, or seeking a quick fling in their area.

3. OKCupid

Membership options: Free with paid upgrade options available

OKCupid may be one of the mainstream dating apps but the platform openly welcomes all LGBTQ+ singles. With 22 different gender identities and 12 sexual orientations, LGBTQ+ folks will certainly find their place on the app. Bonus: OKCupid even allows queer people to hide their profile from straight and cisgender people (for safety or personal reasons).

4. Hornet 

Membership options: Free with a paid premium version

Hornet is one of the most popular gay social networking apps and gives queer men a great platform to meet other queer men around the world. The app offers various ways to build community, find other singles, stay current on trending news, and even a list of bathhouses in your area. It’s basically a one-stop-shop for gay social networking.

5. Scruff

Scruff is known as a hotspot for gay hookups no matter where you are in the world. Users enjoy open sharing features and powerful search filters to find whoever and whatever you’re looking for. Scruff is also an excellent travel companion for gay singles looking to meet others while away from home. Plus, the more you swipe, the stronger the algorithm gets!

6. Bumble 

Membership options: Free with a paid premium version

Bumble is all about empowering women and femmes to make the first move. The emphasis is heavy on feminist power with the right to initiate messaging restricted to women and non-binary members. The popular dating app started as a dating app but now features global networking opportunities for building friendships, business relations, social networking, and, of course, relationships. 

7. Scissr

Scissr is a great dating app for lesbian and queer women who want to network and connect with other members of the LGBTQ+ community. The app is designed for women, femmes, and non-binary folks who are looking to find friends, date, and discuss culture and relationships with other queer singles. The app’s design is sleek and user-friendly with free chat and image sharing features.

8. Jack’d

Membership options: Free with a paid premium version

Jack’d prides itself on being the most diverse dating app for gay, bi, and trans people. It boasts a powerful geolocation feature that helps you browse singles all over the world and flag them for conversations or private photo and video sharing. If you struggle to break the ice, Jack’d even offers a chat phrases feature which gives helpful conversation starters. 

9. Hinge

Membership options: Free with a paid premium version

Hinge calls itself the dating app that is meant to be deleted because it puts a heavy emphasis on serious relationships. Profiles are built on bold questions to quickly and effectively uncover personality quirks and offer conversation starters for matches. Hinge will ask you about your political affiliation and how you feel about legalizing weed and offers plenty of gender identification options as well.

10. Taimi

Membership options: Free with a paid premium version

Taimi is a LGBTQ+ dating platform that features a nice mashup of dating, chatting, and social networking capabilities for people of all gender identities and sexualities. The app is designed perfectly for today’s fast-paced, short-attention-span, social-media focused society. Taimi is geared towards a safe dating culture for the LGBTQ+ community with values that include diversity and inclusion and a zero tolerance policy toward discrimination. 

Reviewing the Top LGBTQ+ Dating Sites: Our Methodology

’s dating app and website reviews are based on independent research, trusted third party sites, user reviews, and individual use of the product through free or paid trials. For the rest of the information, we rely on what the brand says about its own product offering, public reviews and complaints, and ratings from independent agencies like the BBB and trusted publications. Some of the key features we compared when reviewing the LGBTQ+ dating apps on our list include, but are not limited to, pricing, accessibility, number of members, and communication options. 

What You Need to Know Before Choosing an LGBTQ+ Dating Site

Dating as a member of the LGBTQ+ community can be fun, enjoyable, and successful if you know how to navigate the apps. Before signing up and spending time creating a profile, here are some things to ask yourself about the queer dating site you’re interested in:

What Types of LGBTQ+ Dating Sites Are There?

There are a lot of niche dating apps out there, including those for the LGBTQ+ community. Which one you’ll choose all depends on what you’re hoping to gain from it. You can look for the most selective one out there to really tailor your dating experience, opt for a broader dating app and see what (or who) you find, or pick one with a specific intention (like hookups only, serious relationships, or casual situationships). Sometimes you can find an app that caters to all of these. In which case, you’ll need to specify your preferences on your profile page and/or when chatting with a potential date (more on this below). As with love and relationships, the choice is yours to make. 

How Much Does LGBTQ+ Dating Cost

Each LGBTQ+ dating app presents its own cost. Whereas some are entirely free, others are freemium, and the rest are totally paid. 

Free or freemium dating apps let you create an account and browse the network for potential matches. However, you’ll have to pay to unlock more, better features that might introduce you to the type of person or relationship you’re seeking. 

Subscription-based dating apps charge you a flat rate every month and grant you access to all available features. Monthly subscriptions generally start around $9/month and go up from there. You almost always get a discount for signing up for multiple months at once, too.

Other sites charge per action. Want to chat? 5 credits. Send a pic? 5 credits. Send a gift? You got it. 5 credits. You’ll buy credits in a bundle then they’ll subtract from your account whenever you take an action. This pricing structure can quickly get expensive so watch your spending while using these apps.

Love Is Out There, Find It Today

Modern dating is complicated enough without having to explain your gender identity or sexual orientation. In addition to safety factors, this is why LGBTQ+ dating apps are so helpful. Whether you’re looking to find a good friend who views the world from a similar perspective as you, want a playful night with a stranger, or are searching for that special someone to spend the rest of your life with, queer dating apps make the entire process a lot smoother, easier, and more enjoyable for everyone. Check it out, and see who you might find!

10 Types of Gay Men to Avoid

Gay dating has always been sort of tricky. First, there’s the issue of figuring out if there’s a mutual attraction.

Second, there is the entire matter of compatibility in the bedroom. Here we are talking about who prefers to do what and if that person is any good at it. Let’s be real – that’s an important thing to a lot of gay men!

Third, both guys need to figure out if the interest level goes beyond a mere hookup. In other words:

Once you move past the three big pre-dating hurdles, you slip into the world of observational dating.

This is where things become really interesting because during this phase, you have the opportunity to test the mettle of the man and see it the guy is a good fit. Is he emotionally available for example?

Observational dating involves checking out the dude’s behaviors during time spent together and assessing what the heck you are dealing with. Usually during the observation phase, no relational commitment is made. Instead, things are kept casual, which allows either party the freedom to call it quits should they so desire.

10 Types of Gay Men You Never Want to Date

What follows are 10 types of guys gay men want to date, based on different personality characteristics. These “10 types” were created through observations and commentary collected in an unscientific web survey, plus the input of a few experts in the field of gay couples counseling.

Disclaimer: This list is not exhaustive and may or may not apply to your situation. Think of these as characteristics rather than hard and fast rules. Additionally, for every negative characteristic listed here there are positive traits you should consider. The point however of this article is help you figure out the ones you absolutely don’t want to deal with.

To help visually illustrate the 10 types, we’ve included an infographic.

1. The Cheapskate

Cheapskates usually rear their penny pinching heads early in the dating process. Typically, this type of gay man will make no effort to reach for their wallet and almost expects that you pay for outings, like dinners and movies.

When they are placed in a situation where they must pay for something, they often nickel and dime it to the point that it takes all joy out of whatever is planned.

The difference between a cheapskate and someone who is frugal is that cheapskates opt for “cheap” or “free” over quality, to pay.

2. Prima Donna

Prima Donnas are perhaps one of the biggest personality types you want to avoid as a gay man.

These particular individuals are overly fussy, narcissistic and self-important.

Usually, they make it to the observational dating stage by using charm, coupled with good looks, which are used to pull an unsuspecting gay man into their world of “fans”.

This type of gay man makes it all about them and simply must be the center of attention wherever they go.

Likely, they will not ask about what’s going on with you, your life or your family.

3. The Player

Players can be difficult to spot at first because like the narcissistic pre-madonna, they use charm and good looks to suck in their prey. Players give the vibe of being casual and easy going, which can be powerfully magnetic, given how many gay men are attracted to this type of energy.

Players however can be spotted fairly quickly by closely examining their words and through observing their interactions with others.

4. The Party Dude/Drunk

This is another type of guy you want to avoid for serious dating. In the gay world, use of alcohol and certain types of party favors is not uncommon. And it is important to state that just because someone uses alcohol or “parties” from time to time doesn’t make them un-datable. However, when you have situation where the guy needs to constantly liquor up or use something else in order to have fun or enjoy intimacy, you are likely dealing with the party dude/drunk.

5. The Dating Junky

Dating junkies are gay men who get all caught up in the “newness” of dating you but as soon as things start to get serious, they drop you like a hot potato.

Dating junkies thrive on perpetually being in a state of going out on new dates or meeting new people. They never hang around long enough to see if something long-term can develop because they think “something better” might be out there.

6. The Drama Queen

In the gay world of dating, drama queens are not that difficult to spot. In fact, they are super simple to detect because of their overt nature. Drama queens are addicted to chaos, confusion and indecision. They are quick to overreact, take things way too personally and make everything a crisis.

When they are not making mountains out of molehills, they are inserting themselves into other people’s chaos or worse, pulling you into their world of craziness. In many ways, drama queens are addicted to the non-stop emotional roller coaster of highs and lows and experiences few periods of stability. Enough said.

7. The Self-Loather

Self-loathing gay men are very difficult to date. They have a chip inside of them that for whatever reasons makes them think they need to deny who they are. Characteristically, self-loathers claim to not be like “other gay men” and over emphasize masculinity to the point that it can be a turn off. Self-loathers avoid any hint of public displays of affection (PDA) and constantly need to distance themselves from anything that may be remotely seen as “gay”.

Final Thoughts

The 10 personality types offered here speak in generalities and certainly do not represent the entirety of gay men. To be fair, many of the characteristics presented in this article apply to straight men as well.

These general traits however are important to be mindful of. You don’t want to date a guy, at least in the long term sense, if they are one (or more) of the types that appear here.

And it is completely possible for a dude to occupy several of these “types” all at once. Should you involved with someone like that, you really have problems.

So there you have it – the 10 types of gay men you never want to date. Now go out and find your dream man!

Comments

“The User” is described well in this article , but can be expanded on. I dated a “user” for a year, but he used me in the sense that he just wanted someone to hang out with while he went on dates behind my back in search of “the one”. It was a very bad experience and ended badly. I still feel the sting from it, and it’s been awhile since the break up.

These traits scare me man I could read about a nice personality ! Being gay should be about sexual orientation, not psycho disfunction. .

This should be about highlighting and warning people of these specific behaviors, and not to label or make these kinds of people seem ‚difficult to date‘. Everyone has flaws, it’s merely how they are handled. Unfortunately, as I’ve run into men that fit under these terms used, I try to keep an open mind.

Also, it’s formally known as ‚prima donna‘ not ‚pre-Madonna‘. (I know this, thanks to „Primadonna“ by Marina and The Diamonds).

This is the entire gay community! Who is left to date?

Too bad we didn’t have this head’s up before we set out finding these human trainwrecks, in the first place.

Well I’m none of those the only problem I faced in the LGBT community is the fact that these guys don’t even want to give me a try because I’m black

John Hollywood, that was so true what you said about some of the gay men. Why I say this? I was with one for seven years until I told him to hit the road. Mine was the type of man that was gay as a 33 dollar bill, but had to be drunk first to admit it. When he was sober, his whole personality changed. It was like he was a totally different man. He would not say a word to anyone while sober to the point I thought and others thought he was socially retarded. When he started drinking, you could not shut him up. He became extremely passionate, actually the life of the party. Then the next day back to the other person that was so shy, that people often ask him if he was ill. So yes your right on and I had one and no thank you John Hollywood don’t want another one. Again thanks for the important information. Rex.

looks like I’m undateable, I’m the complete mix between drunk and date junkie, with a little of overachiever and just a bit of pre- madonna. -_-

Just wanted to say that it’s a bit unfair telling people that they shouldn’t date guys who aren’t fully comfortable with how they look. Only because someone doesn’t want to take his shirt off because he fears he might be judged or simply doesn’t feel comfortable doesn’t mean he is a bad person who you shouldn’t date.

Buyer beware, I fit into a few of the categories be it. You left out judgmental close minded guy who is quick the to label everyone and pretend that he is above it all. This is the guy will point out everyones imperfections and even write articles on the subject because according to them, there is nothing bad about themselves.

I found your article to be very informative. I finally understand who i have been dating. Thank you so much.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on June 23, 2016:

@mediicineman. Why don’t you write something yourself? Easy to criticize. It’s another thing to actually write. Now enjoy your day, ya hear? Buy bye!

Never dated, but using this to try and characterise myself to figure out where I stand in the whole gay image thing, I realise I don’t really fit into any of these. I don’t really know how to feel now. I’m responsible with money, but not a cheapskate. I don’t like attention at all cause I guess I have social anxiety. I need the emotional side satisfied before being attracted to a guy enough to want something significant. I don’t go out, at all. Occasionally with a mate once a month. I haven’t dated before. I hate drama as it is to much time and energy gone to waste. I accept my flaws and try to build upon them and change. I only keep people around me if they build me up, I don’t think that’s using, more that there’s no point in having or being around someone that your of no use to. Ive managed to achieve a degree and stuff and constantly aim to get better, but not to be the best. And I aim to lead a healthy lifestyle and try to stay in shape to an extent but not so much so that its my life. I’m also 21, Indian and and have been openly gay since I was 17.

Just wondering what does this mean then if I don’t fall into any of these categories? Or if I do, which one/ones do I fall into and how could I improve on myself? So confused………….

Its well written and lengthy but kind of comes off as superficial. I mean those traits are obviously visible no-no’s which anyone can spot on in less than a day’s worth of interaction. I was probably looking for more depth i guess. Things everyone would easily miss out on. Like tell me something I don’t know.

So It must be really difficult to you to find a guy. Because you’re a mix of at least 3 of those types. You’re creating stereotypes, but you forgot you’re the first stereotype every gay men want to avoid: the self proclamed mister perfect, implying he’s a sort of leader but never saying it because it conveys a bad image. The type of guy who think he’s in rigth to decide who is to avoid, and wath everyone needs.

Your narrow minded vision of the world only belong to you, so don’t speak as if you’re telling us a bible.

The term is „prima donna“, not „pre-Madonna“. An Italian word for first lady; a diva, not an era of time before Madonna.

This is sad as most gay men fit into onevircseveral of these slots.

My question is where does a college student living on financial aid because of taking 16 + credit hours of classes fit into this category? people who live off of financial aid often have tight budgets and can’t afford to pay for a lot of the „dates“ you claim that cheapskates don’t want to pay for. Is it so bad to do something free or something that is within a budget? While I do think that there is truth to a lot of these traits, there are a lot that attenuate from a persons unique situations.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on April 24, 2015:

Corriea Mattina from Moon Beach, New York on April 23, 2015:

4/23/15 8:24p HubPages 10 Types of Guys You Never Want to Date John Hollywood The List encompasses a lot of Men and I do recognize some of the usual suspects but I wonder are there Any Men left to even approach for maybe a “Hey…“

Too much overlap with what I avoid in a straight woman. Don’t tell them I said that!

Since many if not most of us cannot abide drama queens of whatever nationality, type, etc. is there away to create a secret garden for them?

For any who are unaware of the concept of a „secret garden“ certain forums and websites supposedly keep a special place just for spammers and bots. So the bots and spammers spend all their time talking to each other and never know that no real human sees what they do.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on January 25, 2015:

I think you should add, „He has 2000 facebook friends who are all musclebears and look just like him, and no other type of friends.“ Most likely-PLAYER!

It’s refreshing to see articles like this geared toward gay men. I have seen so many gay men hurt and even destroyed because of these type of guys. Most people (that includes MEN, GAY MEN) want to love and be loved. The issue now: finding that other man who wants to love and be share the responsibility of love. Yes, to love is to be response able.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on January 09, 2015:

Thanks for stopping by Cardisa! You made some great points here and yep, these can apply to the ladies for sure!

This list also goes for women and which men to avoid dating! You are right about the overachiever, he might be the only one worth dating on this list because of his stability. Yet, he might make you feel like a failure because he’s so competitive.

I ‚m thinking that number four might have problems with his identity and coming to terms with being gay, hence using alcohol all the time, even for intimacy.

Invaluable for a newbe! Often get confused about guys, especially when get butterflies with them. This page certainly makes sense who not to waste one’s energy on. Bless.

. not easy to be gay in such preconcived USA,first, just by coming out as gay, there you have it. alll the stereotypes of the the heterosexual world

there is one thing FOR SURE americans are good for, and its STEREOTYPES….

oh by the way. im a gay dude from central where do i fit through the stereotypical glass of the all mighty American Empire…

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on October 20, 2014:

I think you guys meant „Prima Donna“ NOT „pre-madona“ LOL

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on October 17, 2014:

I agree Maximum! Sadly, we have a lot of people who don’t understand this!

Sure, gobblegobble, no one’s perfect, but it’s not an excuse for users to use people, or for people to go on dates, but then drop their date when they get bored. One doesn’t have to have „some false sense of perfection“ to look for someone who won’t USE them! NO ONE wants that.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on October 16, 2014:

Pure trash, all this article achieves is perpetuate an unobtainable ideal no one is that perfect. Everyone has a personality specific to them, all these articles do is pander to shallow people who go out searchong for some false sense of perfection, when they shoild probably take a better look at their own personaility first.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on September 28, 2014:

Thanks a lot for this amazing write up..I can not stop laughing at how true i have been a victim of users and self loathers!

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on September 02, 2014:

Thanks, Desi! I appreciate you stopping by and thanks for sharing and for the offer!

Hi, I enjoyed reading your article and I have a blog with the name desigaylife do t c o m. I find your article very refreshing and touching the key points and taking into account the diversity in gay world. Let me know if you would like to guest write for my blog.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on August 27, 2014:

Hi Maximum – thanks for stopping by! Yep, these are universal traits for sure lol.

Oh, so true (re: Final Thoughts) – these are characteristics of straight men I don’t want to date either.

Here’s some dating advice that’s ACTUALLY helpful.

I believe it was Aristotle who said, “Dating is the absolute f*cking worst.”

For gay and bi men, it often feels like dating is futile. The men you like never seem to like you back. Or they’re only looking for something casual. Or they play games. Or they never put you and your feelings into consideration when making decisions. Or they’re just…terrible…ya know? So dating is often a pain in the ass for queer men. That said, here are some helpful tidbits of dating advice for guys who want to make the whole dating process just a tad bit less painful.

1. Date outside your “type“

Gay men, more so than straight men, love to have types or “preferences.” Now there’s nothing wrong with typically being more attracted to guys who look or present a certain way. That’s fine. I will say though, don’t rule out a whole group of people because they don’t fit what you’re customarily attracted to. Be open to all different types of guys. This widens your options greatly.

2. Know the reputation of the apps you’re using

Guys have met through Grindr. They have dated, and even gotten married. This does actually happen. But Grindr still is primarily used for more casual encounters. So to only use Grindr while looking for a boyfriend isn’t necessarily the wisest move. Try Tinder, OkCupid, or other apps that have guys looking for more serious relationships. 

6. Sex is important, but not the end-all-be-all

Sex is great. Sex is fabulous. Sex is…well, it’s sex. Having a healthy sex life is important. You want to enjoy sex with your man. You want to want to have sex. In the beginning of a relationship, I think it’s much more important for the sex to be good. It keeps the relationship going. But if you want your relationship to last more than a year, there needs to be other reasons why you’re dating him that have nothing to do with sex. Sex becomes less important as the relationship goes on. 

7. Go in with low expectations, but still give it your all

This is the key to dating successfully. The golden rule, if you will. Go in thinking that the guy is going to be a dud, and that nothing is going to happen. Still though, give him your attention and the opportunity to impress you. If it doesn’t work out, that’s fine because you had low expectations, but if it does, you will be pleasantly surprised.

10. Take a break from dating when exhausted

Dating can be exhausting. Often, when you’re lining up dates, it feels like a second full-time job. Take a break from trying to meet guys when you start to experience dating fatigue. It’s not something you want to push past. When you’re ready and feel like you’ve built your stamina back up, then go ahead and start lining up dates again.

Another Night at Bars?

You are a gay man who has been single far too long. You are good looking and smart, have a great set of friends, and take care of yourself: A “real catch,” you tell your buds. But something deep inside is telling you that the way you have been going about finding a man isn’t working.

As you check yourself in the mirror before getting ready to hit the bars again, you think, “There has got to be a better way than the gay bars! I keep going week after week and no luck. Will it happen tonight? Oh crap, is that a pimple?”

Seriously, being a gay man and trying to find someone to date is a real chore. There are tons of hurdles to overcome that can make it feel like the deck is stacked against us. One major barrier can be figuring out where to meet someone. While bars can be a fun place to hang out with our friends, they are not always conducive to romantic connections. And let’s face it—as time goes on, the inability to meet a quality person can take its toll on our confidence.

After speaking with a number of formerly single gay men who are now happily partnered, I will now reveal seven places to find your next boyfriend that are not a bar.

7 Places to Find Your Next Boyfriend That Are Not a Bar

What follows are seven suggestions for places for gay men to meet a potential boyfriend that do not include a bar or nightclub.

You’ll find suggestions you’ve heard before, some of that are unconventional, and others that may even be silly. But if you’re trying to break out of the bars, you may want to give them all a chance. I will add that this list is by no means exhaustive—please feel free to add ideas in the comment section at the end of this article.

You have tried everything else–so what else do you have to lose? Okay—let’s look at the list!

1. Dating Apps and Web Sites

You may be thinking that using apps and websites seems silly, but many gay men have met the guy of their dreams by using these types of platforms. Popular ones include OKCupid and Gay.

Others that are not as well known but nonetheless effective include the apps VGL Gay, Mister, and Tinder. Some of these are free while others cost a small amount (or charge a nominal fee for premium services). The great thing about apps and websites is that most all of them nowadays allow the user to input certain search criteria or filter out folks based on user preferences. You can also check Gay Outdoors.

Some report feeling “desperate” using apps and websites for dating purposes. If you are one of those people, you need to rethink this and do so quickly. According to recent research, there are 41 million people in the US who are currently looking to meet that special someone online. This statistic does not speak to the number of single gay men specifically, but we make up a fair amount of that number.

If you have tried dating using apps and sites before with no luck, consider using a different app. Scroll through your smartphone’s options and pick something new. The idea here is to create change. Remember, dating is a numbers game. You have to put yourself out there in order to make it happen.

And here is one final point on this suggestion—while Grindr, Scruff, and other apps are great tools for meeting people, keep in mind that some of these platforms are more sexually charged than others. There is nothing wrong with this but if your goal is to date, using the right app is important.

2. Facebook

Keep reading this, and don’t skim because it is important. Reflexively, some may turn their nose up at the thought of using Facebook to “mine for dates,” but here is the thing you may not know: there are tons of gay people on this social media platform. We are talking millions! There are a number of fan pages and groups on Facebook that are specifically designed for gay men who are single and relationship-ready. Type “gay single dating” into Facebook’s search box and see what comes up–lots! Remember, the people who are putting themselves out there are doing so with the same motivations that you are–to connect with someone for romance.

Did you know you can search Facebook for people on your friends list that are single? You sure can! Just punch in “single friends” or “my single friends” in the search box and see what comes up. You might be surprised. Of course, identification as single on Facebook depends on what the user indicates in their profile. But using this approach does allow you to see potential candidates. If they are an acquaintance, why not consider going out for a coffee? Later on the both of you might figure out that was your „first“ date. Again, what do you have to lose?

3. LGBQ Events and Fundraisers

As a population, we gays are very giving. Plus, many of us like to get all dolled up and go to events, like fundraisers for the different causes we support. Some examples include cancer-related events, HIV/AIDS-related causes, civil rights galas, and the list goes on. And if you are thinking that you won’t go to one of these events if it means having to go alone, please reconsider! Many gay men make the mistake of bringing a +1 to an event because they are embarrassed to be alone. The problem is that your +1 may be sending a glitchy signal to your potential next man that you are “with” someone. Get rid of the wing-man. Why confuse folks?

Several gay men have reported that they met the guy of their dreams by offering to be a “Table Captain” for a given event. In this capacity, you help to fill the table by soliciting people for donations. As captain, you have control over who is seated at your table—which is a huge advantage for you! Plus, you get to network with others who may be single and thereby expand your circle of available men.

Go to the fundraiser with the mindset of supporting the cause you care about, but be open to meeting someone new. Attitude is everything. It was the famous French philosopher Renee Descartes who said, „I think –therefore I am.“ What do you think?

4. Local Community Classes

This particular suggestion has worked well for many gay men who were formerly single. Do you like photography? What about painting, fitness, biking, aviation, cooking, horticulture, and so forth? One of the great things about about taking a class is the built-in advantage of a shared interest! Many classes are free or at little cost. You can find them by doing a Google search using your hometown or county in the search terms and seeing what pops up. Throw in the word “gay” as part of your search and refine your choices even more.

Chose a community class you are genuinely interested in and not just one where you think all of the hot men will be. We gays come in variety of shapes, ages, and sizes and we aren’t as cookie-cutter as many of the stereotypes people sometimes believe. Remember, it is only a shared interest if it is genuine.

5. Volunteer

This particular suggestion is a twofer when you think about it. First, you get the benefit of giving the gift of yourself to a cause you care about. Second, you will undoubtedly meet new people. More than a few happily partnered gay men have reported that they met their man through this approach. And so if you care about the environment for example, why not contact your local Greenpeace? If your passion is supporting your local LGBT community center, why not call them to see how they can use your gifts?

Some people worry about the time commitment required to volunteer for an organization. This is a very valid concern. It helps if you are up front about what you can and cannot do when you speak to the volunteer coordinator. Even if you can only be a greeter for an annual event or work the coat check, for example, it is something. And hey, a little bit of something is better than a whole lot of nothing.

6. Professional Organizations

Yep, you read that right! A professional organization to which you may already belong likely has a chapter dedicated for LGBT members.

The point here is that whatever you do for employment, there is likely a professional organization with a gay-focused subdivision. Almost all of them hold events, including socials, mixers, and fundraisers. If you belong to one of these associations, great—your work is half done. If not, why not look for one that fits your particular background?

Use your professional organization’s LGBT subchapter as a way of networking and expanding your circle of available, single gay men. It is completely okay to let people know you are “on the market,” so to speak. As mentioned earlier, dating is a numbers game. But if you don’t play it, you can’t win. It’s all about attitude and knowing what you want, right?

7. Local Gay-Friendly Church or Spiritual Center

Some may recoil at this suggestion, but guess what? Many partnered men have reported meeting their husband at their local gay-friendly church or spiritual center. There are a lot of gay men who are deeply spiritual—and not just the bat-crap, self-loathing types that we often hear about, either.

If you have a local place of worship or other community-based venue for spirituality and you identify with what is offered, why not give it a try? More and more, religious organizations are recognizing that LGBT folks have spiritual needs. You might be surprised at what you find when you do a quick Google search on “gay + spiritual” in your area.

If you are one of those people who are not sure what you believe in, consider taking the Belief-o-Matic self-assessment. It’s free and you will likely learn something about yourself that perhaps you did not know before. Did you know there are gay communities of Agnostics, Quakers, Pagans, Humanists, and so forth? There sure are! And there are gay atheists who congregate, as well. Take the self-assessment to see where you fit in.

Obviously, going to a local gay-friendly church or spiritual center should be about your spiritual nourishment and well-being. Think about this first before you decide which venue for spirituality is best for you. However, this does not mean you can’t also meet new people, enjoy deeply meaningful connections, and perhaps bump into your new boyfriend!

Final Thoughts

The dream that one day, you will meet the guy of your dreams is a wonderful thing to dream about. But fantasizing and doing something to make it happen are two different things.

If you want to meet your next boyfriend, then you will have to take control of the process. The Promethean spark of love only happens if there are two available people who happen to be at the right place at the right time.

Gay bars are great but let’s be real–you are over them and have been for a long time! That’s why you read this article, isn’t it? Why not try something new? Tomorrow could be a great day!

Comments

im 29 need a white guy to be my patner for long time of piriod

im black single lady looking for nice whith guy or indian or blackwith love to spend the rest of my life going me.082 224 0719

I am retired Air Force and classic car guy. Looking to find someone to share my life with.

Being agay is not something you should be affaid of cause we are many and most especailly church but am single and searching in uganda

Hello. I’m not here to judge anyone. We’re all sinners without a doubt.

But, as a Christian I can’t move past this post without saying that the act of homosexuality is purely wrong. I don’t hate people from the LGBTQ community, but I do not support what they do, because it goes against Biblical teachings.

Unintentionally fell for my best friend. He’s [without a doubt/proven to be] 100% straight. At present I choose NOT to act on my feelings except as a best friend/metaphorical older brother and love him as such. Though Lust [just on my end] is involved, I respect his, sexuality, personal space and boundaries. Unfortunately suppressing such powerful feelings and desire on his behalf is proving way too heavy a burden . I NEED to meet someone else soon so I can finally release the waters.

I am older but no troll or pedo, I prefer young guy for actual friend who is gay to. For real friend.

I’m a gay white male. Looking for a gay male 18 to 40. White, or Hispanic. I’m 58. I love men that are younger than me. I live in Lafayette Louisiana.

I am gay i am zach i need a boyfriend and a relationship with a younger guy. emails

Just a little way up Martin St to the north east of Trafalgar Square or by the steps in Oxford Street east of Ox Circus after London Pride and top end of Kensington Park Rd at Notting Hill Carnival. Excellent pick up points for younger gay men. .

So happy I found ‚Dat247gy‘ in Google. Does anyone know something like that?

I want a boy who are loking sexy have six packs abs and a gentleman

Looking for for mate or partner to share my life with me. Been single and still a virgin

I am 63 yrs old and having difficultly in finding a gay/bisexual man in east texas. I am white, want to stay within my race and around the same age. I am average build, d&d free,non smoker. Looking for fun 3-4x a month or more.

i would like to fina a older man, as i am. to enjoy life together…nothing out of the ordinary but lot’s of affection and caring. If there someone in his 70’s or 80’s and can still be to meet that person

More suggestions such as Volunteering, Spiritual or taking a class are great ideas.

I do find the same situation with on line and aps as the bars. That tends to be just as disappointing as the bars.

I’m looking for boyfriend I am 45 years old Latino and leave by monaco Mexico

older guy for friends and if it is to be a bf , I am into younger guys.. friends can be anyone.. bf slim to avg, 18-35, bttm . looking more for compationship , might be a young guy that needs a place to stay and we go from there.. lets chat..

I’m new closet. Not looking for bf but rather sexual friend. For bedroom fun… Bf stuff not for me I like dressing up as a girl n getting !!!!!!for as long as possible. As often as possible . Thnx guys

Social media and dating sites won’t do you much good if you’re over 30. After your name and zip code the next registration question is always your age (date of birth) and then they plaster your age right below your photo. Ageism is a real problem in meeting people and I confess I’m as irrationally age prejudiced as the next guy. It’s a data point that really should not be discussed unless you’re dead set on finding a friend within 7 years of your real age. In my book, appearance is more relevant than real age. I’ve seen dudes 25 who look 65 and v 65s who look 35. My experience with churches as been mixed. Lots of people who are already coupled. Many have various “life trauma” issues or the “Let Jesus Take the Wheel” mentality of taking no responsibility for their own life. It may be worth a try, but the odds are against you. The other suggestions are better. Borrowing from another article on this topic aimed at helping straight women find quality men, that writer suggested self-improvement, business seminars proved to be a winner. She also liked high-end special interest groups (wine tasting, museum tours, boating, etc.)

Soren So from Bangkok, Krung Thep on August 12, 2019:

Hey, I’m Soren from Thailand as a gay I found it difficult to find life partner here, i wish to find one too.

I’m 27yrs Educated person, have good job. I have tan skin, 5’6″ 160lbs

I’m looking for someone special to share special things in life with.

I don’t do drug, not a host, not money boy so if you’re looking for serious relationship send me message and lets see.

I’m real and hope you’re real too. Welcome any age over 30.

Hi Guys here i am waiting for you 41y old med built loveing caring guy

Been trying dating apps. (desperate move) but what i only are got here in the philippines scammers, scammers, posers, posers,Massuers And most of all lots of choosy are looking for potential partners, but hey look at their profiles, Doesnt like chubby, not tall, not good looking. Effiminate. Good want a perfect, celebrity looking boyfies.=O… sad thing on gayworld

Oh,Iwould love to meet a sexy gay Asian male.P.S.I am a gay man.

Phuminnaris Wongsawat from Thailand on June 27, 2019:

Welll I am living at Thailand and so hard for find someone but still looking in everyday hope can get to know in someday

My name Gunni if you want to know more Please say hi to my email

cant find a boyfriend in the state of arkansas around springdale and fayetteville anymore. used to be all over the place now all the bars clubs and parks are closed. im afried to go up to a man and ask him for a date in fear of getting my face punch. what is a guy to do just to get a men now. im 59 and want any where from 45 to 55 to date and have a serious relationship. is there anyone that can help me.

Looking for a bi-sexual or gay man in this redneck town is tough! Any suggestions???

Looking for gay man that lives in mitchelles Plain portlands

I’m an older man well 47 – not that old yet and I love young studs

My problem was that I did not know how to approach them without seeming like a creepy old dude

Plus I didn’t know how to spot the younger gay man or if he was bi-curious – so I was out of confidence because I was afraid of meeting a homophobic dude and get a punch on the face if was brave enough to go talk to him.

Luckily I rolled into this video course a few weeks ago and the difference is huge – I recently I started dating a hot guy and things are going great – I wanted to share this course with you

I am looking for a nice boyfriend hows got a nice personality and a good sence of humpur and is careing and friendly and honest and good looking and down

Hi michael here iam a gay man and looking for a nice boyfriend but no luck so far can you help me look for a nice boyfriend iam 58 year old and a adult wanker

Great article! There are indeed wonderful gay men out there- it’s just time consuming trying to find them. I am a gay matchmaker and have been for 8 years- and believe me, it’s a full time job. This article is right – Facebook can be a good tool as you can see mutual friends and you can have your friend vouch for the person. This is essential- we need to be able to vouch for everyone we work with at The Echelon Scene, so we screen and meet everyone in person. BUT, ask your friend to be as unbiased as possible- and ask your friend to contemplate if you have complementing values. This is key!

I am very much interested to know you and hopefully become your friend. I have nothing much to say but i know how you feel. And i understand where you’re coming from. I hope this simple message of mine will touch your loving heart. Its really hard and difficult to find people you want to share your heart and soul these days, but who knows..

I still believe that somewhere there..someone will be our good and better partner in life.. God bless.

Thanks CBJ. It seems that the search for love knows no boundaries. I live in a small, conservative town, and no gay bars or clubs. So, I don’t have to try to avoid them. I do enjoy visiting gay clubs when I travel to larger cities, and have met some nice people and remain friends with a couple I met in a club in Atlanta several years ago. I’m a 60 year old man, searching for a partner. As I have aged, I’ve come to understand that the man I hope to meet is not a supermodel but is emotionally available, mature and kind. And, I remain optimistic that I’ll meet him. In the meantime, I try to stay healthy, active and social. My friends and my family mean so much to my happiness, and I plan to invite my partner to that group.

Many probably won’t want to hear this, but this sagely advice is still true: You can’t love someone until you can love yourself. A problem in the gay community is we often have high expectations with little room for flexibility. Curbing idealizations is key to finding sustainable partnerships.

There’s no doubt the conventionally hot, bearded, chiseled man is yummy, but these men represent a small subset of the gay community; prioritizing the Adonis (who has his own problems and insecurities, too, mind you) won’t get you into a loving relationship. The proclivity of gay men to value physical attractiveness over emotional intelligence and communication is short-sighted. Good looks WILL fade; the foundations you’ve built with someone who’s been with you through your deepest lows is what makes a relationship.

My advice is to work on yourself. Always work on yourself. Know what makes you happy and build relationships and communities based on those factors. A few of my key „rules“:

2. Be vulnerable; honesty is not synonymous with weakness.

4. Be kind and forgive yourself and those who have hurt you often.

Looking for love is hard—online and off. If you’re older and looking for someone younger, know it’s probably not going to be easy for you. If you’re a person of color who only wants to date white men, deal with your internalized racism (I’m Asian and trust me, loving other men of color is incredibly empowering). If the beginning of your dating profile reads: „Looking for [insert sex position], attractive, fit, etc…“ you’re looking for sex, not love, so be real about that because longterm relationships are not built on who tops and who bottoms.

looking for love in all the wrong places // wanting to start out in the back seat.

Hello White Beautifull Hairless Cute Virgin Teen Age under 19 Years Old Bottom guys Meet me For Love fun and Marriage

Firstly, I want to know how many people actually sign up at community colleges to „meet“ people. Not to COST MONEY!!! Should I mention how many millennials are in debt for college loans. Who the f*** has time or the money to take an arbitrary course hoping to meet „the one“.. yea, needless to say I don’t need to „try“ this scenario to know how unlikely it is.

Next….Volunteer? Have you been to the rural south? Sure I can volunteer at Walmart. Or volunteer at a local though I already work there. But these are hardly two places I’d imagine meeting a compatible match. I’ve seen these advice tips given all over the internet and I’m convinced thise that are giving them live in either New York, LA or some other multimillion populous. For guys like me, stuck in the really are only two options. ;t get me started. Or driving an hour to a gay bar since there aren’t even any of those around. And these alliance groups? Seriously? I’ve searched everywhere for a local chapter of any of these organizations and not 1 to be found anywhere near where I live. And I sure your next suggestion will be to relocate, and while that may be the best ;s still frustratingly inconvenient and to mention the risk and time wasted if it all goes to shit. Why is it that only gay men that live in places like NY or LA seem to have such wonderful lives? Are the rest of us just suppose to deal with it or join you? All in ;s a shit deal, high risk with very low reward, constant solitude and perpetual stereotypes….I’d rather have Cancer quite personally.

Thanks for knowing this but I wish to know exact religious place.

I am mature, Italian, tan, gray bottom but versatile looking for a fit masculine top who is versatile but likes to take charge. I enjoy men with nice size packages – not small ones. I host on the southshore mid suffolk county, Long Island. Locals preferred. All ages who are fit & masculine are good.

The last relationship i was in lasted 9 years but there were signs day one he brought items from his last marriage and told me he could not get ride of them wedding picture i still stayed faithful until he sleeping with my best friend and i did not find out until he had died from aids and i never touch my partner and got tested my test came back neg. I was hurt i am ok but still single do not want my nexts partner to be controling or hurt me i have faith

Well, this is a helpful article … I’m still single and I really can’t tell if these venues for meeting guys really work … but I do hope I find the right one.

Think more of the problem is gay culture itself. Finding men that are men that know what they want out of life takes time. Shallow is the thing that runs rampant in the culture and it just gets old. Main thing, you have to be true to yourself and what you seek and stay away from all the unnecessary drama and bull. In bigger cities, these are options, where I live, things to do or clubs to join are pretty much non-existent. Just have to remain positive and realize you don’t need someone in your life to be happy…although it is nice to have someone to share things with.

I am a married man who is craving for a fwb only i am bi

A little about me I currently live in sunny Arizona. Love it here yes it’s hot but our winters are beautiful. I’m blk 145 slim and trim I’ll be 52 next month look 36 get carded often. I’m totall into movies I can binge watch movies all day. I go to as many Festivals here in the valley as much as I can. I write poetry script writing I love the Art galleries here in the valley. And also quite times at the house, I’m not looking to have sex with anyone I want a Relationship no one nightstands here. If your living in the valley hit me up.

Lookingfor lovefun loving serious like 18 to 30 im 70 love to kiss and cyddle

The problem that I have is often on dating sites there are a lot of effeminate men and not men’s men.

am so bi been for a long love to be with the right guy…

Hi I’ve looking for someones who s care me and love

I need a guy whom Is serious . I will love him as a husband and treasure him. Please anyone there?

available during business hours only. east city. prefer to be a bottom, but flexible. (really)

not lookin for something to serious wright now but what ever happens should stay with you and me.

I like boys and around cleveland,ohio im 19 years old im gay and proud

very hard to meet decent loyal real down to earth guys in a bar i hate the bar scene where do you go to meet others they say try a church or a group or some kind of acrivity groups

Looking for a steady partner. I am loyal and want to be in a relationship. Please

I begin think I,ve tried them all so far seems the game playing makes one wonder about men to ,or are they just over grown boys

older single in Washington state , looking for relationship

I hate going now to bars there use to be good quality guys there but not any more.I use to meet good quality men at a straight gym . I find the gay community in the gay village are real snobby „if you are not a typical gay activists or look a certain way they want nothing to do with you.

I’m 18 live near London, England and want a nice loyal bf with great personality

I am trying to find my true love its a gay life I guess..

I would like to just talk to you and I hope you can help I have been looking for someone with a good persanoite I can’t seem too find any one

65 years looking for tops men sny age but preferred around my age

I’d like clarify something in regard what dating websites generally dont and is because places like OLCupid, albeit free and with many men options, by being free anybody can use it, couples looking for a third for fun or love, bored men browsing and looking to find, simply guys looking for and because of there’s a lack of „quality men“ we found ourselves going on dates that don’t workout (if they don’t flake on you the very day of the date…)

For those of you who are SERIOUS and commited to find a partner, you need to chose more discretionary websites that usually comes with membership costs (they vary based on different factors but all aimed to pair you with the right candidates). No one who pays money (even top money) for dating online services unless seriously invested and a great gatekeeper for bored couples or gossipy flakey men.

Got the same problem can’t find some one to have fun with surly it can’t be that hard

I am looking for cars & to love me want I am I want to love good man I don’t car want age you are.

Hello age 27 am looking for a nice guy to date with please help me am single, from Southern Africa Zambia. Someone who is mature and good to me

Perhaps I’m single because of my personality. I’ve been told that I am peculiar and quirky. I wish I were somewhat average sometimes. Deep down there I am still that shy and lonely guy who dreams about a little home for me and a man to protect me and love me. Nonetheless, I try to remain strong and confident. Well, that’s life. Life is a mess. Life is a bitch, but this doesn’t mean you have to be one. I’m not.

Hi..I think the problem is all this social media hype and a radical overuse of technology. Most people dont really want to be labelled or have to fit into defined groups in order to meet other people. My advice and i have never been alone for more than two or three months in all my 65 years is go out, or as my mother used to say, join clubs. Nothing changes only that the powers that me want to control us better for their own nefarious purposes.

Im looking for someone i could share the hardship and joy of life. Someone with whom i could take pride in each of our victories and put my backs and tears behind each of our struggles. Someone who would see the virtue of a knight instead of madman. Someone with whom i could strive for greatness. The one who would forgive my trespasses for i too am still learning to love. Someone who does not give up on words and promises but are willing to go through pain and wrong while building something and perhaps the only thing that really matters. Is out there another madman another man of chivalry? Or have all days of glory passed in favor of cheap hedonism?

David from 4 months ago…14 years is a long time. I’ve been in a relationship for 30 ;s also a long time. I’m not sure monogamy is the answer either. I think we need variety. There is no easy answer, unless you meet your soul mate.

Happy new year 2017 hope we can share love and life

The transformation of the gay dating scene over the years

Gay men have changed the way the date in the past decade.

Years ago, if you wanted to meet gay singles near you and get a date with another attractive man, you had to go to one of the few gay clubs and bars in town and pray you don’t find the same people over and over again.

Fortunately, currently there are more options to choose from.

Here are 5 places where you can meet other interesting gay singles from all over the US:

Online gay dating: Connecting with local gay singles in a few clicks!

Nowadays, gay men in the US are free to show their feelings in public and not be sent to prison or worse, executed as it occurs in other places.

There still are many rights gay men have to fight for, but having the freedom to search for a same-sex partner is not one of them anymore.

Gay dating sites, gay apps and gay chats have increased in popularity in the past 10 years.

If you go on the Internet, you can actually find a lot of dating sites dedicated to gay men who want to find from find long-term love to friendship and companionship.

It all depends on the type of relationship you are looking for.

What’s for sure is that the fun starts once you join one of these gay dating sites.

You simply need to create a profile, upload some photos and meet other gay men in your area and get a date in just a few clicks!

Where to find the best gay dating sites?

We have tried the most popular gay dating sites in the US and selected the best ones for our ranking.

In our comparison site you can easily find key features of every gay dating sites we’ve analysed.

Read our reviews to find other relevant information about the Top Gay Dating Sites in the US as well as pros & cons.

We want you to give you the tools, but you are the one deciding what gay dating app, site or chat is best for you after looking at our choice of the very best!

If you love receiving daily partner recommendations based upon your personal preferences and romantic profile and also love to search other similar gay men by using hashtags that are related to your interests, then Gay is a good option.

Can you really fall in love with someone online?

The long-term potential of online dating is still met with a cloud of doubt. However, recent evidence is proving that relationships that started online might have a stronger foundation than those that started offline. A 2017 study cited in the MIT Technology Review found that people who meet online are more likely to be compatible and have a higher chance of a healthy marriage if they decide to get hitched. If marriage is your goal, you’ll be glad to know that another recent study found that heterosexual couples who met online were quicker to tie the knot than couples who met offline. Either way, online dating seems to be a good recipe for a satisfying, long-term relationship whether it involves marriage or not.

No one is saying that online dating is the variable that changes everything, but we reckon people who sign up for dating sites that require thoughtful responses are more ready to settle down. That makes sense, right?

What makes a dating site better for relationships than others?

Do we even need to get into why Tinder is a long shot? Is being introduced to nearly every person in a 10-mile radius worth the boring bios or how they’re „not looking for commitment?“ Sure, Tinder has its fair share of those lucky success stories, but it’s also the dating app where ghosting, breadcrumbing, and every other disheartening dating trend flourishes.

Singles looking for something serious might get frustrated with sites that only give a limited number of matches per day, but choosing sites that force you to be selective really heightens the focus on what you’re truly looking for in a forever partner — and gets you closer to that cuffing status. 

For online daters who want to make the most out of potential dates, you need to seek out detailed, high-energy profiles that give a well-rounded idea of who you’re messaging. Swiping is guided by the compatibility ranking that most sites offer, which predicts how well you’ll get along with other daters based on how you both answered questions. Plus, you can tell how much other daters care about the process by how much effort they put into their profile. If a single sentence about being drama free is the extent of someone’s bio, you can assume that they’re not taking this seriously and that they might not, in fact, be free from drama.

Potential dates will analyse your profile so make sure it does you justice

It’s natural to question the legitimacy of a connection with someone who is only showcasing their best self, but that’s part of the process. The dating sites that let users express themselves with prompts — from favourite movies to where you want to retire — are setting you up for success by avoiding an unnecessary argument six months in.

The best way to attract genuine people? Be authentic yourself. That’s easier said than done when your biggest worry is that a truthful answer — like the fact that you might not be as good of a communicator as you would like — will deter „the one“ from swiping right. However, deep down, you know that lying on a compatibility questionnaire probably won’t lead to a healthy relationship.

Until a smarter AI can read minds and simply ban hookup seekers from serious sites, these are the best datings sites for serious relationships.