- 10 Best Gay and LGBTQ+ Dating Sites and Apps 2021
- Best LGBT Dating Apps For The LGBT Community in 2021
- Gay Dating Apps – die 5 besten Apps im Vergleich
- The 8 Best Dating and Hookup Apps for Queer Men
- Gay Senior Dating: Authentic Connections Today
- Gay dating apps: A comprehensive guide to Jack’d, Grindr, Hornet, Scruff and the rest
- Free Gay Dating
- The best dating apps for gay users, since meeting people IRL is hellish
- Gay Dating
- Best dating sites for men looking to hook up, find love, and just about everything in between
- Schwule Apps: Tinder, Gayromeo App, Grindr und vieles mehr!
- What Grindr Taught Me About Dating Older Men
- Related Posts
- Our Top 10 Choices: Which Is Best For Your Needs?
- 1. HER
- 2. Grindr
- 3. OKCupid
- 4. Hornet
- 5. Scruff
- 6. Bumble
- 7. Scissr
- 8. Jack’d
- 9. Hinge
- 10. Taimi
- Reviewing the Top LGBTQ+ Dating Sites: Our Methodology
- What Types of LGBTQ+ Dating Sites Are There?
- How Much Does LGBTQ+ Dating Cost
- Love Is Out There, Find It Today
- Connect with Your Community: Gay, Senior Dating with SilverSingles
- Senior Gay Dating Sites – Why Choose SilverSingles?
- 4 Useful and Simple Gay Senior Dating Tips
- Experts weigh in on how to navigate the online dating space as an older guy
- The League
- Why is online dating so hard?
- Don’t be a creep
- Be honest about what you want
- If you’re looking for love, these tips will get you headed in the right direction.
- Kostenlose Dating Apps für Schwule: Die Top 6 – inklusive Gayromeo und Grindr
- Kostenlose Lesben Apps: Wie steht es um die Frauen?
- Grindr, Scruff and Other App Hook Ups
- 1. Match
- 2. Grindr
- 3. Zoosk
- 4. Growlr
- 5. Scruff
- 6. Surge
- 7. ROMEO
- 8. OkCupid
- 9. Chappy (BUMBLE)
- 10. Her
- Financial scams
- Be clear about your intentions
- Confront your fears first
The world of online gay dating has changed a lot in the last ten years. In fact, ten years ago it was really difficult to find a dating app that was aimed specifically at gay dating. Now, you’ve got too much choice!
In other words, you’ve got so much choice that it’s hard to know where you should spend your time. Which dating apps are going to yield you the best results? And which ones are going to make you puff your cheeks out in exhaustion after dates keep flaking on you?
It’s cool – I’ve got the answers. I’ve given the best gay dating apps a test run and put together an article that will help you make a better decision. Here, you’ll find something for everyone – those who are looking for something longer term (maybe even marriage), as well as those who just want a friend with benefits.
I’ll break each gay dating app down and take a look at who it’s for, how much it costs, and what its benefits are.
10 Best Gay and LGBTQ+ Dating Sites and Apps 2021
According to an Urban Institute study, LGBTQ+ singles experienced a sexual victimization rate of 23.2%. That’s roughly 11% higher than the heterosexual rate. From outlandish statistics to negative experiences, one thing has become blatantly obvious: queer, transgender, and pansexual singles need their own space.
And that’s where LGBTQ+ dating apps come in. Providing an open, safe, and supportive arena for anyone to date anyone else in any way they please, these dating sites and apps are growing in popularity. With millions of members worldwide, LGBTQ+ dating apps cater to those who identify their gender and sexuality differently than the average heterosexual.
Best LGBT Dating Apps For The LGBT Community in 2021
Being a dating startup, if you are planning to build an app like Tinder? Or a swiping similar app like Tinder? You may have noticed the whole new wave of online dating with LGBT gay culture which is constantly gaining popularity. Now, the time is changing and developers are creating the best dating apps for the LGBT community. Herein we have curated 8 best LGBT dating apps that provide a platform for everything from hookups to long-term relationships.
Gay Dating Apps – die 5 besten Apps im Vergleich
Es gibt allerhand Gay Dating Apps auf dem Markt. Jede davon bedient einen etwas anderen Nutzerwunsch. Hier finden Sie die fünf besten Dating-Apps für Schwule und Bisexuelle mit Ihrem jeweiligen Dating-Fokus.
The 8 Best Dating and Hookup Apps for Queer Men
Dating is hard. That’s just a fact. Dating while queer is often even harder. When you’re a guy who’s attracted to people of the same gender, there are simply fewer instances in which you can serendipitously meet somebody and experience that romantic spark. Which is why gay bars and other inclusive spaces have become such an important part of life for people in the LGBTQ+ community, including gay and bisexual men.
Of course, if you’re a queer man looking for love, not every town has a gay bar that you can just head to whenever you’re in the mood to get your flirt on. And in the pandemic, meeting and mixing with a lot of people in a public setting is out of the question.
Enter: The Apps. Whether you’re looking for somebody fun to chat with, to swap photos, or make a connection with the goal of eventually meeting for a real-life date, we’ve got you covered. These are the 8 best LGBTQ-friendly dating and hookup apps for queer men. (When you find one you like and sign up for an account, make sure you follow these tips for taking a really great photo for your profile!)
Bonus: when you are ready for an-person meet-up with a person you met on one of these dating apps, check out our ideas for awesome first dates and second dates. You’ll look like a total romantic genius without breaking the bank.
Gay Senior Dating: Authentic Connections Today
Are you over 50, single and gay? Gay senior dating has its own challenges, but online websites are fast changing the face of dating today. SilverSingles, one of the leading senior gay dating sites, is created for senior singles to connect and discover companionship, love, and relationships. So, how does it work?
Gay dating apps: A comprehensive guide to Jack’d, Grindr, Hornet, Scruff and the rest
There was a time when gay dating was an IRL affair, based around your local gay bar or well known cruising spot. Now, finding a guy usually means grabbing a phone and browsing your options.
While a lot of people decry the decline of gay bar culture, there’s no denying that dating apps are the most popular method of meeting people in 2018. With that in mind, here’s a run down of the most popular gay dating apps for queer men.
Free Gay Dating
Gay Online Dating By LocationView profiles from all over the world or look for a specific location. AllMale brings men from all over together in new ways. Browse local guys below or select a region you wish to view. Register for free, share as much or as little as you’d like and become part of a quickly growing online community.
The best dating apps for gay users, since meeting people IRL is hellish
Most people have at least one horror story about online dating. It’s a rite of passage that single people love to hate.
But the horror stories look a little different for members of the LGBTQ community. On top of the classic awkward Hinge date anecdotes and screenshots of a corny bio seeping with secondhand embarrassment, gay singles deal with all sorts of alienating interactions. Baseless questioning of sexual history, harassment, and fetishization — most of it coming from cis straight people who shouldn’t have popped up in your feed in the first place — don’t exactly give one butterflies.
Still, dating apps have become crucial means of introduction for gay folks looking to settle down. A 2019 Stanford study and 2020 Pew Research survey found that meeting online has become the most popular way for U.S. couples to connect — especially for gay couples, of which 28% met their current partner online (versus 11% of straight couples).
But the Pew survey also dredged up those ugly experiences with harassment. This could be where options that bar heterosexual users, like HER and Grindr, come in. Their perfectly-tailored environments are so well-known in the gay community that they’re essentially in a league of their own.
That’s not to say that they’re in the queer dating app market alone. Apps like Zoe, Taimi, and Scruff exist. But their plateauing popularity can be attributed to similar complaints: too many scam profiles and too few legitimate users (ones within a reasonable distance to plan a date, anyway). Chappy was a promising app for gay men that shut down just as it was gaining serious traction.
And at the end of the day, „everyone“ apps are simply where masses of queer users are. Keeping Tinder on the back burner isn’t just a straight people thing, especially for those who live in less-populated areas where Grindr and HER have slim pickings. Plus, some mainstream apps do deserve credit for the steps they’ve taken to create a more inclusive atmosphere. Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge now offer lots of sexual orientation and gender identity options. OkCupid gets kudos for making that change years ago, as well as making social justice a core part of compatibility scoring — which kind of self-curates the type of people on the app.
If you’re LGBTQ and hate leaving your home, you’re not alone. Here are the best dating apps and sites that’ll maximize your opportunities while minimizing your human contact. Bless. (For the best dating apps specifically for lesbians, go here.)
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Best dating sites for men looking to hook up, find love, and just about everything in between
Online dating is a challenge for everyone. A lot of pressure comes with keeping up a conversation with someone you don’t know anything about (other than the fact that they are hot) — if you even had the patience to swipe or scroll enough to find someone worth chatting with, that is.
Schwule Apps: Tinder, Gayromeo App, Grindr und vieles mehr!
Egal ob Mann nur Spaß haben will, einfach mal wieder ein Date möchte oder sich nach einer festen Beziehung sehnt, für so ziemlich jedes Bedürfnis gibt es mittlerweile die richtige App. Bei der Fülle an Möglichkeiten verliert man schnell die Übersicht. Deswegen stellen wir euch hier die vier wichtigsten Apps für homosexuelle Männer (und Frauen) vor, die Gleichgesinnte suchen.
What Grindr Taught Me About Dating Older Men
We had about twenty minutes before he had to leave for the airport. The image I had conjured of the thirty-two-year-old currently en route to my front door from our meager interaction on Grindr was as telling as a police report: an assumed age, height, and weight, as well as one scrupulously selected profile picture. And often enough, the photo too ended up a rough sketch. These physical characteristics as well as a few words – “What are you into?” – were all that had been exchanged between me and this city planner from Washington D.C.
This was last summer when I had just turned twenty-two, fresh off the boat from flirting with my first serious relationship. I was seasick, and as this older man and I hit the sheets, I found that my body struggled to deliver what I had ordered.
When everything physical was said and done, we nestled in my bed together where I offered my condolences for my sexual underperformance. “I’m sorry, you’re just the first guy since my breakup,” I said. Confidently, he checked the time on his iPhone, which was perched on my nightstand and looked up at me. “Well, there’s good news and there’s bad news. Which do you want first?” he asked.
“The bad, always,” I responded. With texture, he said, “The bad news is that it won’t get any easier. Losing love. The good news is that you’ll get more used to the pain.”
The insight that this perfect stranger offered me resonated with me throughout the process of that first true heartbreak. And it dawned upon me: older gay men may hold some of the answers. These are people whose sex lives pre-date apps like Grindr or Scruff, and they may have even evaded the widespread millennial mentality of quickly finding something defective with a new lover, only to start brainlessly swiping again.
For me, older gay men came to symbolize the one thing more inspiring than heartbreak: rebirth. These guys had been through the emotional throes of dating, and ultimately, they had been able to fall in love again – even multiple times. I needed to know their secrets.
Dating back to pederasty in Ancient Greece, there has existed a sincere social bond between older gay men and male youth – perhaps in the form of today’s “bears” and “twinks” – where intimacy was mingled with the dispensing of emotional intellect. By all means, in Greek culture, this relationship was considered an education. But today, relationships between older gay men and younger gay men are seemingly plagued by peer judgment over presumptive motivations.
Admittedly, I have been one to shy away from intimate encounters with men much older than me in the past. Most of my gay cohort, as well as previous partners, had exposed their +/- four-year rule to me out of fear that they would be deemed “sugar babies” for taking interest in somebody markedly older. A lot of gay men around my age assume that older gay men, on the other hand, are mainly into younger gay men for the sex, perhaps so the youth can somehow rub off on them in bed like some heavy cologne. Still, many ask: “What really would you and an older man have in common?”
But that’s the whole point. Older gay men know things I don’t. If people undress the “ick” factor, isn’t this connection simply another ripe learning experience not dissimilar to one gained through relations with somebody of a matching age?
Today, online dating apps have intersected many gay men of differing ages and backgrounds. And though these apps may be seen as grassroots one-night stand delivery services, they also provide rich, rare inter-age experiences where younger and older gay men, already comfortable under the veil of physical intimacy, can communicate and dispense insight into the minefield that is the modern gay dating world.
Though I do often tend towards men my own age, I also love to reflect on the rhetoric I’ve heard from men who have been in the business a bit longer. Now, I see that long-term relationships are a plausible goal – and that they don’t necessarily have to be based on black-and-white monogamy. But with the little experience I have, that still somehow appeals the most.
DatingXP provides impartial advice to millennials and adults to help them succeed with online dating. The content on our website is based on individual experience and journalistic research. Our authors are not liable for content and services on external websites.
Our Top 10 Choices: Which Is Best For Your Needs?
Scissr – Best for lesbian culture, community, and dating
Taimi – Best for trendy, social media-based dating
Membership options: Free with a paid premium version
Over the years, the pioneer in lesbian dating apps HER has developed into an all-inclusive platform for women and femmes of all types, identities, and sexual preferences. HER embraces and welcomes more than 18 gender identities and 17 sexual orientations on the profile selection list. HER’s app is easy to use, loaded with communication features, and even hosts local events for more community building.
Membership options: Free with a paid premium version
Available for gay, bi, trans, and other queer singles, Grindr is one of the most popular dating apps with a reputation of men seeking hookups with other men. Thanks to its powerful geolocation feature, Grindr is a great social networking solution for people who’ve recently moved, relocated, are traveling, or seeking a quick fling in their area.
Membership options: Free with paid upgrade options available
OKCupid may be one of the mainstream dating apps but the platform openly welcomes all LGBTQ+ singles. With 22 different gender identities and 12 sexual orientations, LGBTQ+ folks will certainly find their place on the app. Bonus: OKCupid even allows queer people to hide their profile from straight and cisgender people (for safety or personal reasons).
Membership options: Free with a paid premium version
Hornet is one of the most popular gay social networking apps and gives queer men a great platform to meet other queer men around the world. The app offers various ways to build community, find other singles, stay current on trending news, and even a list of bathhouses in your area. It’s basically a one-stop-shop for gay social networking.
Scruff is known as a hotspot for gay hookups no matter where you are in the world. Users enjoy open sharing features and powerful search filters to find whoever and whatever you’re looking for. Scruff is also an excellent travel companion for gay singles looking to meet others while away from home. Plus, the more you swipe, the stronger the algorithm gets!
Membership options: Free with a paid premium version
Bumble is all about empowering women and femmes to make the first move. The emphasis is heavy on feminist power with the right to initiate messaging restricted to women and non-binary members. The popular dating app started as a dating app but now features global networking opportunities for building friendships, business relations, social networking, and, of course, relationships.
Scissr is a great dating app for lesbian and queer women who want to network and connect with other members of the LGBTQ+ community. The app is designed for women, femmes, and non-binary folks who are looking to find friends, date, and discuss culture and relationships with other queer singles. The app’s design is sleek and user-friendly with free chat and image sharing features.
Membership options: Free with a paid premium version
Jack’d prides itself on being the most diverse dating app for gay, bi, and trans people. It boasts a powerful geolocation feature that helps you browse singles all over the world and flag them for conversations or private photo and video sharing. If you struggle to break the ice, Jack’d even offers a chat phrases feature which gives helpful conversation starters.
Membership options: Free with a paid premium version
Hinge calls itself the dating app that is meant to be deleted because it puts a heavy emphasis on serious relationships. Profiles are built on bold questions to quickly and effectively uncover personality quirks and offer conversation starters for matches. Hinge will ask you about your political affiliation and how you feel about legalizing weed and offers plenty of gender identification options as well.
Membership options: Free with a paid premium version
Taimi is a LGBTQ+ dating platform that features a nice mashup of dating, chatting, and social networking capabilities for people of all gender identities and sexualities. The app is designed perfectly for today’s fast-paced, short-attention-span, social-media focused society. Taimi is geared towards a safe dating culture for the LGBTQ+ community with values that include diversity and inclusion and a zero tolerance policy toward discrimination.
Reviewing the Top LGBTQ+ Dating Sites: Our Methodology
’s dating app and website reviews are based on independent research, trusted third party sites, user reviews, and individual use of the product through free or paid trials. For the rest of the information, we rely on what the brand says about its own product offering, public reviews and complaints, and ratings from independent agencies like the BBB and trusted publications. Some of the key features we compared when reviewing the LGBTQ+ dating apps on our list include, but are not limited to, pricing, accessibility, number of members, and communication options.
What You Need to Know Before Choosing an LGBTQ+ Dating Site
Dating as a member of the LGBTQ+ community can be fun, enjoyable, and successful if you know how to navigate the apps. Before signing up and spending time creating a profile, here are some things to ask yourself about the queer dating site you’re interested in:
What Types of LGBTQ+ Dating Sites Are There?
There are a lot of niche dating apps out there, including those for the LGBTQ+ community. Which one you’ll choose all depends on what you’re hoping to gain from it. You can look for the most selective one out there to really tailor your dating experience, opt for a broader dating app and see what (or who) you find, or pick one with a specific intention (like hookups only, serious relationships, or casual situationships). Sometimes you can find an app that caters to all of these. In which case, you’ll need to specify your preferences on your profile page and/or when chatting with a potential date (more on this below). As with love and relationships, the choice is yours to make.
How Much Does LGBTQ+ Dating Cost
Each LGBTQ+ dating app presents its own cost. Whereas some are entirely free, others are freemium, and the rest are totally paid.
Free or freemium dating apps let you create an account and browse the network for potential matches. However, you’ll have to pay to unlock more, better features that might introduce you to the type of person or relationship you’re seeking.
Subscription-based dating apps charge you a flat rate every month and grant you access to all available features. Monthly subscriptions generally start around $9/month and go up from there. You almost always get a discount for signing up for multiple months at once, too.
Other sites charge per action. Want to chat? 5 credits. Send a pic? 5 credits. Send a gift? You got it. 5 credits. You’ll buy credits in a bundle then they’ll subtract from your account whenever you take an action. This pricing structure can quickly get expensive so watch your spending while using these apps.
Love Is Out There, Find It Today
Modern dating is complicated enough without having to explain your gender identity or sexual orientation. In addition to safety factors, this is why LGBTQ+ dating apps are so helpful. Whether you’re looking to find a good friend who views the world from a similar perspective as you, want a playful night with a stranger, or are searching for that special someone to spend the rest of your life with, queer dating apps make the entire process a lot smoother, easier, and more enjoyable for everyone. Check it out, and see who you might find!
This page was last edited on January 1st, 2021, at 9:24.
Narendra Purohit is Vice President (Products) at Space-O Technologies. He has in-depth knowledge about software delivery and 14+ years of experience in the web and mobile app development industry. He has expertise in the photo-video apps, lifestyle apps, dating app industry.
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OK, let’s get this one out of the way first. Grindr is so well-known as a gay dating and hookup app that even straight people have heard of it. We all know how it works; the home screen shows you a grid of guys near your location, you can chat, share photos, and send voice memos, and meet the love of your life—or the love of your afternoon, at least.
Scruff is very similar to Grindr in its grid functionality, but unlike Grindr, which has been criticized for perpetuating a „no fats, no femmes“ attitude among its users, Scruff was originally geared towards gay men of differing body types. Specifically: bears, otters, wolves, daddies, and other „tribes“ that find body hair and a more stocky built attractive.
Jack’d promises new users that they’ll be able to connect with „the most diverse community of gay, bi, trans, queer, and curious guys around the globe,“ and is popular among men of color. You can search by what a guy is into, his relationship status (for those looking to play), and the Discover tab lets you find profiles based on recent activity.
Unlike many gay dating apps which show you a grid of the guys nearest to you, Surge is more like Tinder, allowing users to swipe through profiles until they land on one they like. The „swipe right“ / „swipe left“ / „it’s a match“ functionality are exactly the same, so if nothing else, you won’t have to waste any time figuring out how the app works once you’ve downloaded it.
Adam4Adam started out as a popular desktop-based dating website for gay men. Remember those?
Anyway, now that nobody has time to sit down and log on to find a date, A4A is in the app game, serving up pretty much the same kind of user experience as other services like Grindr.
In many countries where LGBTQ+ individuals are still persecuted, like Chechnya, the most widely used and well-known gay dating apps like Grindr have been banned. Hornet, which looks and works a lot more like a social networking platform than a dating app, provides a safer alternative for queer men in some locations (although it too has been prohibited in places like the United Arab Emirates).
Dating for transgender and nonbinary people can be a nightmare, even on queer apps which purport to be inclusive. Tser is a dating and hookup app specifically created for trans, enby and gender-fluid singles — including, for the purposes of this list, trans men who identify as gay or bisexual. Because everyone deserves a safe space to flirt.
Connect with Your Community: Gay, Senior Dating with SilverSingles
Getting back into dating and meeting a compatible partner can sometimes feel like a difficult undertaking. And gay senior dating does have something of a reputation for being a difficult domain to find a serious, long-term relationship. The gay dating scene, fairly or not, has been accused of frivolity at its best and ageism at its worst. So how do you go about meeting senior, gay singles who share your values and goals?
A key factor to finding the right people is finding the right community. The first step to putting yourself out there to meet singles who also want a lasting relationship is finding those singles! And that’s where SilverSingles comes in. Created for senior singles looking for authentic connections, the platform offers the opportunity to connect with real people looking for real relationships. And although meet-up groups and social networks are a great way to meet other senior gay singles, you don’t know who you will meet or what they are looking for. Enter SilverSingles, the intelligent option when hoping to meet your match on senior gay dating sites.
Senior Gay Dating Sites – Why Choose SilverSingles?
Online dating has become the modern meeting place. And as the world has been transformed by technology, dating too has gone digital. And the good news is that it isn’t solely for the younger generation – Pew Research has shown that the number of users between 55-64 years old has more than doubled since 2013. And it continues to grow. With an accessible community of senior singles looking for love, SilverSingles offers a tailored solution for over 50 dating and this quickly expanding community.
The process starts with an insightful personality test, allowing us to get an understanding of what you’re looking for and what is important to you. To eliminate time wasters and unsuitable profiles, you will then be sent new matches every day. Using smart matchmaking technology based on psychological research, we take into account your personality traits and preferences, lifestyle, location, and relationship goals. You are sent selected profiles to match your own, giving you a higher chance of compatibility and connection with other men seeking men.
Are you busy and on the go or do you prefer to enjoy senior gay dating sites with the privacy of your own computer? Flexible to your needs, SilverSingles is available in a desktop version or, if you prefer mobility in your online dating, you can choose our mature dating app, optimized for both Android and Apple. We believe gay senior dating should fit comfortably into your lifestyle and be as uncomplicated and convenient as possible for you to enjoy the experience.
Online dating safety is an issue we also take seriously. With SilverSingles you can enjoy online dating with the peace of mind that we take data privacy seriously and follow all the steps to ensure your personal details are kept safe. We do also have a dedicated Customer Care team to take care of you and verify profiles to avoid scammers and tricksters. All that there is left to do is get down to the business of meeting your match and enjoying the exciting bits – getting out there on your first date!
Taking into consideration our community, which is designed for over 50, 60, 70 and older dating, we also have some handy advice on how to make the most out of your senior gay dating websites. Should you want some confidence to get the ball rolling, learn more about online dating messages, how to make the best SilverSingles profile or how to use the dating app – we’re on hand to help you start dating again!
4 Useful and Simple Gay Senior Dating Tips
It can be easy to specify exactly want you do and don’t want in a partner while using senior gay dating sites. But you’re both taking a chance on each other so even if they don’t seem the perfect fit, you never know what relationship could develop. So take a chance and it may just be the best adventure you’ve been on! And remember you shouldn’t be afraid to say no – if you’re not comfortable in a situation, it’s your prerogative to just say no. By listening to your heart, be open to where it may lead you.
Do you believe in monogamy or is it your goal to get married? It’s helpful for you to be clear with yourself first about what kind of relationship you really want. It may not be suitable first date conversation, but when the time is right, be honest! Even if it’s tempting to try and create a more appealing picture, not being upfront creates a gap between reality and perception. And you know, if you meet the man of your dreams – you want him to see you for who you are!
A good rule in dating, as in life, is do to others as you wish them to do to you. Just because it’s online dating, doesn’t make it ok to be disrespectful. Reply to messages, even if it’s to say you’re not interested. Try to avoid using stereotypes or clichés in your communications as in truth it undermines the individual. Learn how to give and take acceptance and rejection with equal grace and respect. Good manners and respect take you far in life and online! And, most importantly, be kind and patient with yourself.
Your profile is the online version of your first impression for potential matches. Choose suitable photos as the golden rule of online gay senior dating. Choose a selection of photos that are accurate and reflect aspects of your personality. Don’t use outdated pictures, or try to hide your real age or weight, or whatever other insecurity you may have. You want a date to know who they are meeting on the first date, but you also want to put your best foot forward. Select pictures with good lighting, recently taken, and in which you’re appropriately dressed, smiling and comfortable.
Curious to see who is waiting to meet you? Join SilverSingles and meet a new man today!
Grindr, you may have heard of it? Launched in 2009 as the first ‘geosocial’ dating app (i.e. you can see who’s nearby), Grindr has grown to dominate both the actual market and the entire concept of gay hookup culture.
The general consensus is that Grindr is only for hookups, but this isn’t necessarily true. As is the case anywhere a lot of people gather, there’s something on Grindr for everyone – from one night stands and fuckbuddies to long term relationships.
That being said, if you’re looking for a brief encounter, Grindr will do the job, as it’s more of a free-for-all than some other apps with little restriction on who you can talk to. All you need to do to get started is sign up, set your preferences and scroll through guys close by. If you’re using the free version, be willing to suppress your rage at the incessant ads.
As is also the case with large gatherings of people, there’s a lot of bigotry and generally unacceptable behaviour on Grindr. A lot of this stems from the fact that users have license to be incredibly specific about their wants and desires, which apparently for some people means being specifically terrible.
Awful behaviour aside, there are a lot of pros to Grindr. Mainly, it has the most users. You can also be as anonymous as you want or as open as you’d like with your gender, preferred pronouns and status. People are also pretty trigger happy with pics, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Since a change at the top in 2016, Grindr has been on a one-app mission to be the centre of gay universe, with big events, an online magazine and a gay emoji keyboard. Basically, it isn’t going away anytime soon.
Scruff, as the name suggests, is the hairier, bearier alternative to Grindr. The age range of users skews a little older than its main rival, and they are more uniformly of the muscular persuasion.
Scruff has been on the scene almost as long as Grindr, so it’s also amassed a large user base. As with Grindr, the amount of users has diluted its USP, so it’s not exclusively ‘scruffy’ guys on there, just mainly, and still overwhelmingly masc.
If masculinity isn’t high on your list of priorities, I wouldn’t necessarily look here. Scruff is hookup oriented, but does have a ‘match’ function if you’re looking for dates.
Being slightly more niche appeal than Grindr, Scruff doesn’t have the same critical mass of users, nor the cultural clout. However, if you see the word Scruff and don’t immediately shout ‘Oh Scruff Pit Crew’ in your best Mama Ru voice, then why are we even doing this?
Having sponsored the Pit Crew in the sixth season of Rupaul’s Drag Race, Scruff secured its position in the psyches of gay men everywhere, and it’s worth checking it out for this alone.
As mentioned, when you get a lot of guys together, bigotry tends to rear its ugly head and send you unsolicited nudes. Jack’d presents itself as an alternative to the divisiveness of other gay dating apps, and there’s proportionally more POC on there.
It works in much the same way as Scruff or Grindr, but with some additional features like more photos and the ability to see who’s been looking at your profile. You should be able to find both hookups or relationships on Jack’d, but it is a little more NSA friendly.
Hornet’s USP seems to be ‘we do Grindr better than Grindr’. While Grindr’s functionality is notoriously clunky, Hornet works much better, with less intrusive ads, interesting side features like in-app articles and more photos. In practice though, you use Hornet much the same way as Grindr.
Hornet is pitched more towards being a community platform than just a gay dating app, and you’ve got the option to follow people for updates or see events and stories.
Community aspects aside, you’re more likely to find a one night stand on here than a husband. Hornet has been slowly beating out other apps worldwide through its news and content delivery, especially in Brazil, but has yet to dislodge Grindr and its other rivals from the top spot in the UK or US.
You’re probably most familiar with Chappy from it filling every available ad space on your social media.
Chappy’s ‘USP’ is that you can slide a scale at the top of the app to select ‘Mr Right’, ‘Mr Right Now’ (clever) or ‘Mr Who Knows’ to find guys who are looking for the same. You can then swipe, Tinder style, through the filtered buffet. You have to log in through Facebook, so there’s much less room for anonymity.
Chappy is the brainchild of Made In Chelsea’s Ollie Locke, who was looking for something different from the other gay dating apps on the market. In reality, Chappy feels more like a ‘rich person decides to be entrepreneur’ kind of project, especially as most apps give you the ability to state exactly what you’re looking for, albeit in the much less fun form of ‘words’ rather than a sliding scale.
Regardless, Chappy has the backing of Bumble founder Whitney Wolf, it works pretty well and there are plenty of guys on there to swipe through. Unsurprisingly, you’ll find most of them on the ‘Mr Who Knows’ point of the scale.
And finally, Tinder. Whereas Tinder was once thought of as Grindr for straight people, the ability to set your preferences to find other gays has made Tinder an increasingly popular choice.
Gay Tinder is to straight Tinder what Gay Twitter is to regular Twitter, i.e. the same, but gayer! You log in, set your preferences, and then swipe your way through the oncoming onslaught of men.
Tinder’s default setting is straight (eye roll), so you have to change it to find your fellow gays. With the free version, you have a limited number of swipes per day and limited access to extra features like ‘Super Likes’ and ‘Boost’.
By its nature, Tinder is geared more towards dating than hookups, although that’s not to say you can’t find both. There’s lots of guys on the platform, so you’ve got good odds of finding someone.
Experts weigh in on how to navigate the online dating space as an older guy
If you’re a man over 40, chances are your dating life pre-dates the mainstream advent of dating apps. You probably started dating back when people met at bars or got set up on blind dates or just settled for their classmates or coworkers, got married in their 20s, had a couple kids by 35 and then got divorced. In fact, maybe you did exactly that and that’s why you’re now looking for dating-app advice.
Whether you’re a middle-aged guy returning to the dating game after a marriage-length hiatus or a proud “never married, no kids” type, chances are you can recall a time when dating didn’t require wifi, and you may be looking for some guidance when it comes to navigating the online dating space.
While college-aged millennials were the first to thrust dating apps into the mainstream in the early 2010s, the platforms have become increasingly popular among older singles as well in recent years. After all, the oldest members of the generation that first embraced dating apps a decade ago are approaching 40. Whether you’re an older guy who’s brand new to dating apps or an aging millennial (sorry) who suddenly feels too old for Tinder, you may be wondering which dating apps are best for you, a mature adult man.
So what do I, a 23-year-old woman, know about being a man over 40 on a dating app? While I might not know much about being you, I happen to know a lot about dating you. I know which apps I’m most likely to find you on, and, in turn, which ones you’re most likely to find me on.
But since not everyone is looking to waltz into middle age with a much younger woman — or to take dating advice from one — I also tapped two expert dating coaches, Lee Wilson and Joshua Pompey, to weigh in on the best dating apps for men over 40. Here are their top three picks, and a bonus one from me.
Both experts I spoke to named Bumble their top pick for guys over 40. ”Right now, the most popular one for older generations above 40 is Bumble,” says Pompey. “That’s one I highly recommend.”
For those unfamiliar, Bumble is an early Tinder successor that differentiates itself from the competition with its signature ladies-first model. On Bumble, women have to make the first move, and they only have 24 hours to do so.
While some straight men may find themselves initially turned off by the idea of waiting around for a woman to shoot her shot, Wilson says most men quickly come around for the simple reason that when women have to make the first move, men waste a lot less time and energy pursuing women who aren’t interested.
“It’s no secret that women often have a lot more power on these online dating sites than men, because the ratio at which women receive messages is just so overwhelmingly high,” says Pompey. With Bumble, however, men get to take a break and let interested women come to them.
“Men, in particular those over 40, really seem to like Bumble,” says Wilson. “Most of the guys tell me they like it because, when they get a message, they know she looked at their profile and she liked what she’s seen.”
You’re a busy, adult man who doesn’t have time to endlessly message a sea of potentially uninterested women. Let them come to you.
Both Wilson and Pompey also called out Hinge as a top choice for the over-40 set. Owned by the same parent company as Tinder, Hinge has gained popularity in the dating-app space in recent years as a more sophisticated alternative for app daters who take online dating a little more seriously than the Tinder crowd.
While Hinge, the self-proclaimed “app designed to be deleted” tends to bill itself as a platform strictly for those seeking long-term relationships, I’ve found the app to be a good option for those looking to date more casually as well. Regardless of what you’re looking for, however, Hinge maintains a slightly elevated, more mature air than apps like Tinder. There are fewer fake, spammy profiles, and generally fewer weird conversations and sketchy encounters.
“Hinge does seem to take that that far more seriously, as far as making sure their profiles are legit,” says Wilson.
Essentially, compared to other mainstream dating apps, Hinge maintains a general sense of “we’re all adults here.”
According to Pompey, , one of the original dating sites that pre-dates the dating app boom, is still one of the best online dating platforms out there for older singles who are ready to take dating more seriously.
“It’s interesting with the over-40 crowd, because dating apps have grown a little bit in popularity, but the online dating world for people — especially in their mid-40s and up — still leans towards the traditional sites like ,” says Pompey. “For ages above 40, I still think that is far and away the most populated with singles looking for quality relationships.”
So if you’re looking to forge a meaningful connection with a like-minded individual around your own age, sticking to the pre-Tinder classics might still be your best bet.
This recommendation comes to you from neither of the experts, but rather from me, who — while not a professional — does have plenty of field experience.
The League is a dating app for adults who have their shit together. An “elite,” members-only platform, The League was designed for busy, successful people who don’t have the time to waste on endless swiping and dead-end conversations. As League founder and CEO Amanda Bradford told InsideHook last year, “Our users’ biggest currency is their time,” and The League isn’t interested in wasting it.
There’s no swiping, no endless supply of internet strangers for you to pursue. Instead, The League simply sends you three to five prospective matches per day, which you either like or pass on. If you match, you both have 14 days to make a move.
So if you’re a busy, successful adult looking to meet other busy, successful adults who have it together — at least enough to convince an exclusive dating app to let them join — The League is probably where you want to be.
Ultimately, however, Pompey maintains that you can find success regardless of what app you find yourself on.
“My theory is, you can meet somebody on any app,” he says. “It’s just a matter of putting yourself in the best position for success, and hopefully having a little bit of luck.”
Why is online dating so hard?
One aspect of online dating dynamics poses a challenge for both men and women, but from different angles: If it’s a lady you’re pursuing, chances are she’s received more than a few unsolicited messages already. For women, maneuvering around creeps is often more work than it’s worth. For men, the responsibility to not be one of those guys can add a heightened intimidation factor.
Don’t be a creep
The internet is plagued with tales of nasty messages and whack opening lines from men. Avoiding the creep factor with someone you just matched with shouldn’t be hard — simply don’t be pushy about sexting, getting their number, or meeting up, and definitely don’t harass someone about not wanting to hang out during a pandemic. (Just don’t be pushy about anything, really. It’s as simple as that.) As for devising an opener that will grow into a nice conversation, the harmless intent to be funny or flattering can go south quickly. Choosing the right dating app can make all the difference for men who are a little rusty or generally shy about messaging first. Bumble, the app where only women can make the first move, is an obvious safe choice for the latter.
SEE ALSO: EliteSingles vs. match: A career-oriented site goes up against the OG
For men who need a point in the right direction when it comes to conversation starters, dating sites with user profiles more extensive than a rushed Tinder bio could make a world of difference. The ability to see someone’s hobbies, favorite movies, career goals, or even political views before even talking to them opens up a wealth of clever ice breakers. Bonding over how you both thought Solo: A Star Wars Story was actually good, is one million times better than telling a woman that you „think you saw them somewhere.“ (That is not endearing. Never do that.)
Be honest about what you want
Tinder can be the right app for some singles. But if you find yourself constantly deleting it and re-downloading Tinder every other month despite the fact that you hate the app, a different site might make better use of your time. What is it that’s not working about your current dating site of choice? Is it too entrenched in hookup culture? Is it not focused on hookups enough? Do you find yourself getting intentions mixed up with people who aren’t looking for the same thing? Each dating site serves a different purpose, and things are a lot easier when you’re mingling with people who want what you want.
If you’re looking for love, these tips will get you headed in the right direction.
Bette Davis used to say, „Getting older ain’t for sissies.“
Amen! Neither is dating at midlife — especially if you’re a gay man.
Whether you’re single again after the end of a long-term relationship or you’ve been around the block a few times still on the hunt for Mr. Right, gay dating isn’t easy.
No matter what your age, focus on being your best self when dating.
But don’t let that be your excuse for sitting home on Saturday night watching reruns of .
These strategies can help you develop your inner explorer to make dating after 50 a little less daunting:
You’re never too old to find love, but that’s not a message gay men hear very often. Why? After years of „working on ourselves“ and fighting social prejudice to gain self-esteem, many of us struggle to keep it. The hurdle this time? The gay community’s — OK, let’s get real, mostly the gay community’s — ageism.
„Within the gay community, negative stereotypes reinforce the belief that gay relationships are based solely on physical attraction, and that once youth starts to fade, we are unlikely to have any real or lasting relationships,“ says Rik Isensee, author of
Worried you aren’t good-looking enough anymore? Who’d want when there’s some 30-year-old hottie turning everyone’s heads at the gym? Don’t even let yourself go there. Focus instead on being your best self, no matter what your age. And remember that the most important characteristics — loyalty, humor, intelligence and compassion — are ageless.
If you think you’re too old for love or you stopped believing that you can find someone to love who’ll love you back, think again. Maybe you just stopped believing in the kind of naive love that you can only trust when you’re young. But what about the deeper, more mature love that allows for the wide spectrum of experience and truth? That’s where you should set your sights.
For every 20-something entering the gay dating scene full of wide-eyed wonder, there’s a 50-something (or a 60-, 70- or older-something) man back on the market after a relationship ends One is learning the rules; the other has „been there, dated that“ and wonders, „Now what?“ It’s daunting to consider starting over.
The truth is that you’ve earned your age. You really can own it. Focus on what you’ve gained — rich experiences, accomplishments, survivor skills and wisdom. Your next romantic partner will benefit from all of that, and from your passions for the life that’s in front of you.
Give up wishing you could turn back time. Give up trying to be perfect, too, especially if that’s a code word for „young.“ Yes, it’s important to take care of your body and your health, but no need to obsess. Instead of trying to be 25 again, get comfortable in your skin. Feel good about your body. That way, when someone touches you, they’ll really feel you, and not a bundle of self-critical tension. Think more about keeping a sparkle in your eyes and less on fighting the fine lines around them.
Does walking into a gay bar make you feel more out of place than Lady Gaga shopping for clothes at a mall?
Yes, it’s true that the Olympic-sized pool of dating prospects you swam in years ago seems like a lap lane when you reach your 50s. So the best bet is to cast a wider net. Get off of the sideline and get involved in your passions and interests. For example, if you like the outdoors, join a gay hiking or walking group, and meet men while you get fresh air and exercise. Focus on smaller parties, events centered on hobbies and interests, and volunteer opportunities. And, if you haven’t already, try online dating, which is bringing new hope to those of us who don’t have a ton of time or want to hang out at bars.
Check out sites such as that can help you find long-term relationships versus flings or hookups. Then create a profile that reflects who are you, what you want and includes photos. Don’t post the online profile of Dorian Gray by showing off your shiny youth. When it comes to truth in advertising, it’s one thing to shave a couple of years off. It’s another to leave out an entire decade! If you want a real relationship, then be real. Lying raises a serious red flag. Your date will wonder, „If he’s not honest about his age, what other lies is he telling?“
One advantage of age is self-awareness. When you know yourself better, you can quickly size up what you want in someone else. Maybe you’re more careful about first dates and immediately nix a pointless second night out. You’re quick to assess if your date wants the same level of relationship as you, whether that’s casual or committed. You recognize dysfunction and mismatches faster now than you did when you were younger.
But that doesn’t mean you should be rigid and inflexible. Keep an open mind and try to expand your horizons. Chat with a guy who isn’t your „type“ and stretch your boundaries. And so what if he doesn’t immediately strike you as hot and sexy? Now it might be comforting to find a partner who can relate to your experiences and your outlook, and has the same pop culture references you do.
It’s also a good idea to ask your closest friends for regular feedback (yes, ask them to give you input on your actions and choices), so you don’t get stuck in your ways.
Hey, you don’t have to tell me it’s tough being gay, single and over 50. It’s not like gay subculture has given us lots of happily dating, older gay male role models. With all the focus on marriage equality these days, it’s easy for gay men to think that being single and happy is an oxymoron.
There’s more focus on getting into a committed relationship than there is on making sure it’s the right one. The truth is that sometimes when you want a relationship so badly, you draft the first reasonable candidate. Or you’re miserable because there’s no prospect on the horizon. Neither is a good option.
Don’t settle for anything less than chemistry, shared values/lifestyle/goals, trust, and a growing and abiding friendship.
Especially at this stage of life, why would you want a relationship that doesn’t bring you happiness? I can think of something far worse than being single, gay and older. Being coupled, gay and unhappy.
Kostenlose Dating Apps für Schwule: Die Top 6 – inklusive Gayromeo und Grindr
Das hier sind die vier populärsten Dating-Apps von schwulen Männern und wofür sie im Schnitt genutzt werden – für Android und iPhone:
Trotz der Sicherheitslücken, die 2014 bekannt wurden, ist Grindr immer noch die beliebteste und am weitesten verbreitete Dating-App für homosexuelle und auch bisexuelle Männer. Das Gute an Grindr ist, dass sie einem anzeigt, welcher schwule Mann sich gerade in eurer Nähe befindet. Problem an diesem unglaublich praktischen Feature war die Tatsache, dass man Standorte auch dann ausfindig machen konnte, wenn man nicht eingeloggt war. Von Regierungen, die Homosexuellen kritisch gegenüberstehen, kann das perfekt ausgenutzt werden, um bestimmte Bevölkerungsgruppen ausfindig zu machen. Die Firma ließ damals verlautbaren, dass man proaktive Maßnahmen unternehmen würde und die Entfernung automatisch verstecken werde. Händisch deaktivieren konnte man diese Funktion schon immer – wenn man eben will. Die App eignet sich, um unverbindliche und spontane Abenteuer zu finden.
Natürlich sind schwule Männer auch auf Tinder aktiv. Aber anders als Heterosexuelle. Für Schwule ist Tinder eher die App für jeden, der nach etwas Ernstem sucht – eine Beziehung eben. Es gibt zwar keine eigene Tinder-Gay-Version, allerdings könnt ihr eure Präferenz in den Einstellungen umstellen. Dort wählt ihr beim Feld Anzeigen einfach Männer aus (oder bei einer Bi-Orientierung könnt ihr euch auch Profile beider biologischen Geschlechter anzeigen lassen). Dass das sogenannte Gay-Tinder recht fruchtbar ist, zeigen verschiedene Erfahrungen der Nutzer. So findet ihr im entsprechenden Reddit-Thema viele Rückmeldungen, dass homosexuelle Männer deutlich häufiger auf Matches und Nachrichten reagieren und auch zurückschreiben, um sich zu treffen.
Sucht ihr Alternativen, könnte auch Nearox etwas für euch sein. Diese Pinnwand für Schwule hält euch über Events und News in Channels auf dem Laufenden, ihr könnt aber auch an Events in eurer Nähe teilnehmen oder Chats mit anderen sexy Gays starten. Die App zur mobile Gay-Community gibt es als kostenlosen Download.
Kostenlose Lesben Apps: Wie steht es um die Frauen?
Für Frauen, die auf Frauen stehen, haben wir hier drei Apps mit denen ihr garantiert jemanden findet. Legt einfach ein Profil an, ladet Bilder hoch und los geht die Suche.
Wenn ihr queer, bisexuell oder lesbisch seid, könnt ihr mit der Her-App weltweit nach gleichgesinnten Freunden oder Partnerinnen suchen. Ähnlich wie bei Nearox werden euch auch LGBTQ-Events angezeigt.
Grindr, Scruff and Other App Hook Ups
In recent weeks and months, it seems like we have been hearing more and more incidents where something bad has happened to gay men as a result of hooking up online.
Not too long ago, I saw a a news item about a Philadelphia tourist who was physically and sexually assaulted at gunpoint and robbed. An elderly Michigan man was murdered by a trio of thugs as a result of a Grindr hookup gone terribly wrong.
I am personally aware of two cases where people have been the victims of violent crime (and in one case, extortion) as a result of trying to hook up.
Looking around the Internet, there seems to be very little information “out there” that offers guidance to gay men on basic, essential safety precautions for making a sexual connection. And so what follows is a list of 10 tips that I hope you will find useful in keeping you safe.
Before continuing, I know there will be some who will suggest that the best way to prevent a bad hook-up is to avoid hooking up at all.
My response to this is simple – people are still going to hook up! Better to offer some practical, realistic suggestions as opposed to the Nancy Reagan approach (just say no) advice.
At its core, we are talking about risk reduction here. And the tips being offered in what follows could very well apply to straight individuals. Crime is an equal opportunity destroyer folks.
Let’s move on to the 10 online hookup safety tips. Please keep in mind this list is by no means exhaustive. Also, remember these tips are not foolproof. Again, we are talking harm reduction here.
Match is one of the world’s biggest, most established dating sites. It’s a premium matchmaking service that’s home to millions of members worldwide, and it’s perfectly suited for gays looking to date – or even find their life partner.
The first thing Match dating site asks is whether you’re looking for a man or a woman. Then, it asks for your gender. Once you’ve entered this information, you’re taken through a (fairly brief) step-by-step process that sets your profile up. You need to enter your height, your relationship status, your build, etc.
Then, you just need to write an “About Me” paragraph and upload the main profile picture.
Once your profile is up and running, you’re free to browse other profiles, either the extensive search filters or a “Matches” tab which suggests potential matches for you. However, you can’t send or receive messages (or see who’s “liked” you) unless you upgrade your account.
The dating site Match is really easy to get the hang of. The search filters are extensive, and you can tweak them according to interests, location, lifestyle, and even looks. This makes it easier to find someone who’s compatible with you.
However, I strongly suggest filling out your profile with lots of information about yourself, because this is what most Match members tend to do. The more information you give out, the easier it will be to find a match.
It’s also important that you’re respectful with your messages, and I also found that using the MatchPhone feature is a great way to build rapport with someone before meeting up.
Grindr has more active users than any other gay dating app. It’s also free to send and receive messages, and there are more than 20,000,000 pics shared each day. It’s absolutely ideal for men who are looking for gay hookups, primarily because literally everyone is on here.
Grindr is the Tinder of the gay dating app world, and its sign-up process is just simple. You can link your Facebook account for faster registration and you don’t even need a valid email address. All you need is the main photo that the Grindr team then needs to approve (approval tends to take just a few minutes).
Once your profile is up and running, the app puts potential matches in front of you based on location. The closer someone is to you, the more likely it is that they’ll pop up in front of you. The idea is that you match with people you could possibly meet tonight.
It’s worth mentioning that Grindr allows graphic pics, so if you’re into exchanging pics of your penis and other such things, this might be the right dating site for you.
It’s not hard to score a match on Grindr, but a common complaint is that people don’t talk, or they disappear after one or two messages.
A lot of guys don’t fill most (if any) of their fields out, because most of them aren’t mandatory. However, I found that the best way to increase your chances of success is to link to your social media accounts and to fill out at least a few fields. The Stats field (such as your height and weight) is important, as is the “I’m Looking For” section.
Also, filling out the Sexual Health field can increase your chances of success.
Zoosk is one of the most popular dating sites that’s home to millions of active users. It’s been around for almost two decades but was recently given a revamp so that it now looks and feels better than ever. This dating site is stuffed with features and can work for those looking for something short-term, or something longer-term.
Signing up on the Zoosk dating site shouldn’t take longer than 5 minutes and you don’t even need to upload a photo initially. All you need to provide is the most basic of information about yourself and then you’re up and running.
However, whilst it’s free to browse profiles and send smiles and hearts, you need to upgrade your account to send messages.
Finding members works two ways: You can either tweak the search function and look for users manually, or you can use a matchmaking feature called the Carousel, which puts suggestions in front of you.
There’s also a SmartPick feature that picks out matches according to your behavior on Zoosk.
You can also write stories in your profile to attract more matches, and actually sending and receiving messages is really straightforward.
I had a fab time on Zoosk dating site because there are so many active, genuine users here. The matchmaking functions are really cute, and as long as you take the time to fill out your profile and add some nice pics, there’s absolutely no reason you can’t enjoy success, too.
And if you’re a bit shy and aren’t sure how to compose an opening message, you can send virtual gifts, smiles, and hearts. Also, every single profile is validated by Zoosk, which reduces the risk of fake profiles getting into this dating site.
Growlr is a gay dating app that’s simple to use, and which comes with a free version. However, it’s entirely mobile-based and can’t be accessed on the desktop. It’s also predominantly aimed at gay men looking for bears.
Growlr is best seen as a social networking app for gays who want to meet bears, either for friendship, hookups or even relationships. The sign-up process takes two minutes and there’s no need to wait around for your photos to be approved.
Once you’re in, you can search for members via the search function, or you can start chatting by commenting on a user’s pics or blog (yes, you can post your own blogs!). By using the SHOUT feature, you can boost your business or your profile so that you’re seen by more members.
Growlr is one of the most user-friendly dating apps out there. I made it a point to chat to as many people as possible, and while some conversations died out, a lot continued until we either went on video together or met up.
I also made sure to keep checking the ‘Events’ section to see what bear events were happening near me soon. Other features include ‘Meets’ which lets you know which bears want to meet you.
Overall, it’s impossible not to do well on Growlr if you’re a bear or a man looking for a bear who’s friendly, talkative, and a bit extrovert.
Scruff is a popular hookup app aimed at all members of the GBT community. It’s also ideal for gays looking for new friends, but it’s generally seen as a place where you can find someone who’s looking for no-strings-attached sex as soon as possible (maybe even tonight).
Scruff requires your device location before you can sign-up, and also need to describe your profile pic (to categorize your account). Other than that, Scruff requires the barest of personal details and the whole sign-up process should take a minute or two.
Once your profile is ready, you can search for members according to those who are online now, those who are new, and those who are the most popular. You can also check out how responsive a user is before messaging them.
There are all kinds of communities to flip through, such as Bisexual, Twink, and Bear, which makes it really easy to find what you’re looking for. Messaging people is free, but if you’re not sure what to say, you can just send someone a ‘Woof’ to let them know you’re interested.
I did really well on Scruff for a few reasons. First, Scruff is full of active members. Two, as long as you state what you’re looking for, like-minded people are easy to connect with. Three, there’s no need to get caught up in lengthy messages or small talk. People on Scruff tend to be very direct.
However, a large number of people will flake, but that’s common for all dating sites.
Surge prides itself on being a safe space for gay and bisexual men who are free to find a hookup or love without being judged. There’s no need to put yourself in a box here, and with more than 4 million members, Surge is increasing in popularity.
Surge requires a valid email address but the whole sign-up process takes just a minute. You can sync your Facebook account if you wish but you don’t need to spend time filling out a bio.
Once your profile is ready, you’re free to swipe right or left on members. If you match with someone, you can then start chatting and sending pics. You can also send videos. However, pics and videos soon vanish – like on Snapchat.
Because Surge provides a safe space for people, the contacting features have been designed to ensure people feel respected and secure. As such, you cannot message anyone you haven’t matched with.
As I said, Surge is like a mix between OkCupid and Tinder. Anyone who’s used those dating apps will know how challenging it can be to find a match.
I soon learned that it’s not easy to find a match on Surge unless you pay extra for features such as the Power Like. The Power Like is a 10x version of the normal “like” button, and it guarantees that the other person will see your profile. In other words, you’ll be at the front of their queue.
This is key because, even when you “like” various people, there is no guarantee that they’ll even see your profile. That’s common on all dating sites with swiping features.
I used the Power Like a few times, landed myself a few matches, and started chatting. Even then, people still have the right to “unmatch” you, but if you’re respectful, polite and 100% yourself, success can be achieved on Surge.
Romeo is well-known for its high active user base. It’s open to all kinds of gay men (including transgender’s), it’s free to send and receive messages, and several special features enhance your enjoyment.
The quickest way to set up an account is to link your Facebook profile. However, you’ll also need a valid email address to verify your account, and you need to input your location.
Then, you’ll be taken to the profile builder, where you’ll be asked a few questions about your relationship status and your sexual orientation.
Once your profile is done, you can look for members via the search function. If you see someone you like, you could go ahead and send them a message, or you could be a bit cute and send them a ‘footprint.’ This just makes things a bit fun by encouraging you to send someone a sticker with a description of what you like about them (“hot butt” or anything like that).
Also, Romeo puts members into one of seven categories (Twinks, Jocks, etc) that makes it easier to find compatible users.
I did well on Romeo, and I expect most people do really well too. The fact that everyone is categorized makes life a lot easier, as does the fact that there is a search function (swipe dating apps can be a drain).
I definitely recommend that you make use of the special features (such as the aforementioned footprints) because these will increase your chances of success. Romeo is a fun gay dating app designed primarily for hookups and casual sex, so there’s no point wasting too much time sending long messages to people ?
Also, there is a feature called ‘picture rating’. This gives you the chance to rate other peoples’ pictures according to how sexual they are. The more pics you rate, the more visible your profile will be to other people.
OkCupid is one of the world’s most popular dating sites. It has millions of members and it’s very LGBT friendly. It’s used widely by gay, bisexual and queer men, as well as transgenders who see it as a ‘safe space’ free from judgment.
OkCupid is free to send and receive messages, and it’s aimed at those looking for hookups, friends, or something more serious. It’s also ideal for gays who are looking for proper emotional connections.
Signing up on this dating site rakes a bit of time because you have to fill out a questionnaire that seeks to learn more about who you are and what you’re looking for. You can also fill out your bio. But while most users take the time to add a few lines to their bio, you can use the prompts (such as “last show I binged on”) if you’re stuck for something to say.
Then, you can either use the search function to find members, or you can use a free feature called Double Take which puts potential matches in front of you.
However, whenever you message someone for the first time, they can’t actually see your profile just yet. Instead, OkCupid sends them an email to let them know “someone” has messaged them. Then, they have to “like” you back before they can see your message. If they don’t like you back, you won’t be able to send them a second message.
This dating site makes things a bit tricky by putting restrictions on your messages (see above). But I quickly learned that most people who use this dating site are switched-on, engaged people who have taken the time to fill out their profiles. As such, they want respect from you, and they also want to develop meaningful connections.
If you’re prepared to take the time to make those genuine connections, you can find what you’re looking for. My top tip is to add a few pics, as well as at least a few lines in your bio.
9. Chappy (BUMBLE)
Chappy recently merged with Bumble but continues to be a fun gay dating app that’s perfect for casual sex and something longer-term.
A one-click registration process ensures that signing up to Chappy is a breeze. However, you can’t sign-up unless you have a Facebook account. You also need to turn on your GPS.
Because all your info is taken from your Facebook account, you don’t even need to spend time creating a bio!
Like Bumble, there’s no search function. Instead, a roulette-type matching feature puts potential matches in a queue and you have to swipe left or right. If you’re not happy with your matches, you can adjust them using the ‘ChappyScale.’
Once you’ve matched with someone – and only once you’ve matched – you can start exchanging messages.
I found success easy to come by on Chappy. There were lots of active users in my area, and many of them were up for a quick chat before moving things away from Chappy.
I quickly learned that you don’t need to spend too much time getting to know someone on Chappy. Instead, it’s a good idea to exchange a few light messages before asking if they want to meet up.
That said, most members are actually looking for something serious so you don’t want to move too fast. But this isn’t a dating site like eHarmony. Instead, Chappy is a dating app that people use on the move. It’s something they dip in and out of during the day and – generally – they want to move things forward quickly.
Also, if you’re not getting the matches you want, you can adjust your Chappy Scale. This allows you to search for users that are either “Cute”, “Sexy” or “Who Knows.” Each of these terms reveals a person’s intent (hookup or something serious or “I’m not sure”).
Her is a dating site aimed at lesbians and bisexual women. It’s the biggest dating app of its kind, and it’s completely free to send and receive messages.
Her has only been around for a couple of years but it’s rocketed in popularity thanks to an easy-to-use app that’s for those looking for a hookup and those who are looking for something more serious.
You can’t sign up to Her unless you connect a Facebook or Instagram account first. Then, the dating app grabs photos from your social media accounts and the whole registration process takes a minute or less.
Once you’re up and running, you’re free to add as many as 8 photos and each for other users. You can also amend your profile so that your personal details are included, such as your gender identity (there are lots to choose from) and your height and sexuality.
Like many dating apps these days, Her is a “swipe” dating app that doesn’t come with a search option. As such, the only members you can send messages to are those you’ve matched with or your existing friends.
I’m not a woman so Her obviously wasn’t a dating app intended for me. However, I’ve read a number of user reviews, and people, in general, are very impressed with this gay dating app. The advice is that you add at least 6 – 8 pics to your profile. If you add any less than that, your profile might not stand out. If you add too many, people might feel overwhelmed.
Another good idea is to use the “Events” feature that lists the best upcoming lesbian events near to you. This is a great way to get involved with likeminded people and set updates.
Overall, many people have enjoyed success with Her, including those looking for something casual, and those looking for something longer term.
How narrowly do you want to filter down your dating options? Does the app cater to a specific identity (ex. specifically for lesbians or transgender people) or is anyone with an open mind and sexual preference welcome to join?
Answer these questions, and you’ll have a much easier time finding the right LGBTQ+ dating site for you.
Scammers troll dating apps to score money from unsuspecting daters. To avoid personal identity theft and financial scams, never send money or give out your financial information (bank details, credit card info, etc.). This is likely just a ploy to get money out of you.
Be clear about your intentions
Before meeting your match off a dating app, discuss the date plan ahead of time so there’s no confusion, miscommunication, or disappointments. This doesn’t mean you need to say you want to get married in two years over text, but rather simply mentioning that you’d love to grab dinner instead of Netflix and chilling. This will help set the tone for both parties. (Basically, you want to avoid getting ready for a sexy night of passion when the other person is simply hoping to grab coffee then head home after.)
Confront your fears first
Being part of the LGBTQ+ community often comes with its own set of unique challenges that straight folks don’t have to deal with. This can include dealing with internalized fears or homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia that has been taught to us from society and media since childhood. Before you can open yourself up to having a mature, respectful relationship with someone else, you need to be secure within yourself. Confront any lingering, nagging fears about your sexuality and harmful thoughts about others‘ identities by journaling or working with a therapist to set yourself up for a safe, healthy relationship with someone off a dating app