I’m sure we’ve all been there- one foot in, one foot out, contemplating your feelings and unsure whether to take the plunge. Especially in the world of modern dating one can easily fall into seemingly innocent mind games such as measuring reply times, tactically leaving on read, chatting to multiple people at once, and seeking affirmation while avoiding commitment.
Whether you’re the one sending them and only furthering your uncertainty, or you’re on the receiving end and feel powerless over your own life, mixed signals are a waste of time, energy, and the chance of a secure relationship.
So heed my advice, and take it from someone who knows; what do mixed signals mean, what are the common signs, and how do you deal with them?
6 Reasons That Prove Mixed Signals Do Not Exist And You’re Just In Denial
No, my dear, what’s frustrating is the fact that you are so amazing, yet wasting your time with someone who isn’t into you at all. Mixed signals do not exist. It is a concept that people, who can’t tell whether or not a prospect is interested or not, bemoan.
Newsflash: If you can’t tell, it almost always means that the person is interested – and you should view that as a clear signal, not a foggy one. Whether we are looking for something casual or a serious relationship, inconsistency and supposed mixed signals bother most of us.
To me, deciphering mixed signals simply sounds like a whole lot of wasted time and effort – especially if they don’t really exist and you are failing to see the bigger picture. Here are six reasons why there is no such thing as mixed signals in the dating world:
20 Confusing And Mixed Signals That Guys Send When They’re Just Not Dating Material
He won’t let you move on but doesn’t want to be with you himself.
He texts you instantly after you post that hot selfie on Instagram. “Hey stranger!” CLASSIC.
He finally texts you back after three days of no response and hits you with the “I’m sorry I’ve been really busy” excuse.
99% of the time that you’re with him he’s engulfed in his cell phone while but will take his sweet time with replying to your text messages when you are not.
He’ll send the “what’s up” text late at night, but doesn’t answer when you respond in the morning.
He makes plans with you on a regular basis, only to cancel them shortly after.
He’s brutally inconsistent and will pop up at the most random times possible. It’s almost as if he has a sixth sense when you’re doing fine without him, and that’s when he crawls right back.
He’s active on Tinder, Bumble, plenty of fish, etc. but acts as if he wants no part in such fuckery. Because in his mind, he doesn’t need a silly dating app to get laid.
He only communicates with you on Snapchat or other silly forms of social media. Phone calls just don’t exist anymore.
He will tell you how much he misses you and boasts about how badly he wants to get together soon but is always way too busy to follow through.
He acts like he isn’t interested in a relationship, but won’t let you be happy in one with anyone else.
He suddenly decides that he cares deeply about you when he sees you getting attention from another guy.
He claims he’s not ready for a relationship but will act as if you are in one. So, basically acts as if you’re his girlfriend, but won’t claim the title of your boyfriend.
He becomes insanely jealous of any guy that even breathes near you but is totally free to do whatever the hell he wants. (Which is a double standard at its very finest.)
He won’t talk to you for days, even weeks at a time. And then he suddenly resurfaces eventually and plays his absence off cool as if were no big deal. He hits you with the “how have you been?” text.
He is constantly talking about his ex in hopes of sparking a jealous reaction from you.
Even if you haven’t initiated the “what are we?” conversation yet, he claims that you’re way too eager to make things official.
They are constantly asking you to send nudes even though they’ve seen the real deal in person.
He has an excuse for just about anything and everything under the sun. It’s almost as if he has them stored in a file in the back of his brain waiting to be used again.
He tells you he “isn’t looking for anything serious” one minute, but he says just enough to keep a glimpse of hope lingering above your head.
8 Most Common Mixed Signals Guys Send And Their Meaning
Don’t you just hate mixed signals? What did he think when he said/did/didn’t do this or that?
It’s kinda frustrating. But it seems like the dating scene of today can’t survive without mixed signals.
Entering the mind of a male and trying to understand where they are coming from is not easy.
However, we did our homework. We asked 30 men to be brutally honest when it comes to mixed signals and this is what we found out:
Mixed Signals: The Very Definition of Relationship Confusion
Receiving mixed signals from men – for it is mostly men who are the culprits, though some women are guilty of it too – is easily one of the most frustrating experiences early on in a relationship when you’ve just started dating. When a guy sends mixed messages, it can confuse even the most rational, emotionally stable woman. Seeking clarity? Our advice article should help you take action…
10 Ways to Interpret Mixed Signals from a Guy
It is tough to figure out those crazy mixed signals your guy gives. They make you fall for him, but also caution you against it. This constant oscillation leads to a state of frustration, more often than not. But, here’s how you can interpret them in 10 simple ways, and put those maddening theories in your head to rest.
It is tough to figure out those crazy mixed signals your guy gives. They make you fall for him, but also caution you against it. This constant oscillation leads to a state of frustration, more often than not. But, here’s how you can interpret them in 10 simple ways, and put those maddening theories in your head to rest.
A huge reason for guys to give out mixed signals is to show off and feed their ego, that they are still alpha males when it comes to the dating game.
Would you like to write for us? Well, we’re looking for good writers who want to spread the word. Get in touch with us and we’ll talk…
How To Unpack And Interpret Mixed Signals
Dating gets tricky when the person you’re seeing doesn’t say what they mean.
To help you unpack mixed signals in your love life, mean—no shame or blame necessary.
Here’s What Mixed Signals Actually Mean, So You Know WTF Is Happening In Your Love Life
That Instagram like means they’re still interested. Or does it?
Mixed signals are the bane of the dating scene. Navigating that cloudy space between the first date and the “what are we?” conversation is like crawling through uncharted territory full of words and actions that don’t quite add up. Like, the person you’re dating hasn’t responded to your last text, but they just watched your Instagram story. WTH does that even mean?
People aren’t perfect at expressing what they mean or need, especially in dating. You don’t know how the other person communicates—heck, you might still need to get a handle on how you communicate. True feelings and intentions are bound to get lost in translation. Then add contradictions (like leaving you on read for days, then asking about your week) to the mix, and no wonder you’re left feeling confused, disheartened, and insecure. At the end of the day, the question is: Should you stick it out or move on to the next?
“Mixed signals are negative signals in disguise,” says marriage and couples therapist Marni FeuermanGhosted and Breadcrumbed, Stop Falling for Unavailable Men and Get Smart About Healthy Relationships. “Ultimately, the antidote is to pay attention to the actions more than the words.” Deciphering mixed messages is a long game of “they love me, they love me not”.. no one has time for that ish.
Mixed Signals From A Guy On A Dating Site?
It can be really frustrating when you get mixed signals from a guy that you have met on a dating site.
It feels like the both of you have really great chemistry online and the conversations happen with ease.
However, there may be moments where this guy baffles you.
He may have periods of time where he is really engaged with you and has prolonged conversations with you online.
Then, all of a sudden, he follows this kind of elated and engaged behavior with the complete opposite.
He is not as quick to respond to your messages on the dating site.
In fact, he may be taking several hours to several days.
When he does interact, he doesn’t seem as engaged or as energetic as he has shown himself to be in the past.
This kind of back and forth behavior can leave you completely baffled.
It feels like you are getting mixed signals from the guy.
When you are at the receiving end of mixed signals from a guy, it often means that he lacks clarity and confidence in how he wants to handle his interaction with you.
The moments where you have noticed him being fully engaged and consistent in his communication with you are often the moments where he believes that he has clarity and confidence.
He thinks that he wants something more from you in terms of developing a deeper connection.
He may have even fantasized about what it would be like to be in a romantic relationship with you.
However, that period of time is often followed by lackluster behavior because he begins to doubt himself.
He worries that he may be setting himself up for disappointment.
He worries that if he were to allow himself to fully commit to his interaction with you, he may end up regretting it.
He is terrified that you could end up hurting him emotionally.
He is terrified that if he were to allow himself to become emotionally attached to you, you may end up taking advantage of it and not reciprocate his sentiments.
Oftentimes, a guy develops these kind of doubts and insecurities based on prior life experience in relationships.
He may have opened himself up to someone in his past who ultimately betrayed his trust, took advantage of his emotions and hurt him.
When he remembers this experience, it may scare him deeply.
He isn’t responding as quickly to your messages and when he does interact, he may not seem as engaged or energetic.
However, once this period has subsided, you notice that he has suddenly changed gears and is being fully engaged again.
Unfortunately, his emotions are constantly clashing.
Whenever he becomes fully engaged, he may be hoping that it will last this time and that he will not feel the need to withdraw.
However, the moment he begins to feel too comfortable with the interaction, that creeping sense of insecurity rises to the surface like a snake.
It is a self-defense mechanism that has become a major part of his psyche when it comes to how he interacts with people of romantic potential.
Once that snake rises to the surface, the doubt and insecurity forces him to withdraw once again.
Best Dating Sites
When to Stop Trying to Date Someone Who Is Sending You Mixed Signals
As an Online Lady, people ask me a lot of odd questions. Most of the time it’s just “Can you look at something for me?” with a dick pic attached. But the non-dick-related question I get most often is some iteration of “When do I stop trying to date someone?” As in: When someone is sending you mixed signals, under what circumstances should you keep trying, and when should you walk away?
As a rule, mixed signals are usually just soft nos. Some women, especially, might try to let men down easy for fear that you guys might go apeshit on us for not wanting to date you—which happens enough to feel like a justified fear. Everyone bemoans this dynamic. We all wish we could just say, “Hey Frederico, I don’t like you like that.” But when you’re that direct, there’s a risk of an overreaction, and so you take the easy road: You just give what we all lovingly call “mixed signals” until one or both of you gives up on the endeavor. It sucks, but when someone shows varying levels of interest in you, most of the time they simply aren’t into you at all. At best they’re psyching themselves up, trying to make a good faith effort before dismissing you outright to give you a “fair shot.” Who knows? The point is—and this holds true for everything dating-related—a maybe is a no.
But how do you know what’s a maybe? Sometimes, when someone tells you that they’re busy this week, they really are busy this week. And sometimes, someone really was in Philly for a work event. And occasionally, sure, someone might not be into the idea of kissing on a first date as a personal rule, and not because they think you suck and would rather be stuck in a room with 23 clones of Gary Busey than eat tapas with you again. Each of those things, by itself, is not worth putting the brakes on a budding fuck situation, but if you have all of those together, you should probably stop putting in effort for a while. See if the other person picks up the slack. If you had a great time on a date, don’t get caught in a loop of overthinking things, wondering if she really has an early morning hike planned with their mom, or if she just needed an out to cut the date short. That’s just one piece of information, and this isn’t “Blues Clues.”
That said, when it comes to deciphering any level of mixed signals, the golden rule is: Pay as much attention to their actions as you do to their words. If someone says they’d love to go out again, but never initiates a date, they aren’t into you. If someone says they had a really nice time, but they seemed to get bored about halfway through and kept checking their phone, they were probably bored. If you’ve ever had a crush on anyone ever, you know that that means over-checking your phone, responding to texts too quickly, agreeing to dates enthusiastically, and magically rearranging plans to make time to hang out. When you like someone, time magically frees up. All the sudden you’re willing to stay out until way past your normal, adult bedtime just because you get to hang out with the hottie you met at the county fair or whatever. It’s just how people work. If they like you, they make time for you. So watch their actions. For instance, if someone puts off a date because they’re busy, but they also keep following up to reschedule and are sincerely apologetic about it—that’s a great sign. It means they want to put in effort. Don’t date people who put in a lot less effort than you. Especially when texts and emails and Gchats and Snaps and Instagrams and DMs are so easy to send. It’s really easy to be in contact with someone, so while it’s totally normal to not be able to make a date for one week, it’s not normal for someone to be so busy that she can’t initiate a text/social media conversation in that amount of time. It takes more time to take a shit.
Pay attention to the signals that women are putting out, but remember that there isn’t one standard way that everyone behaves. It’s not like if someone doesn’t fit that, they’re out. If you have three or five or twenty of these signs—you planned on getting dinner but she left after drinks; she kept checking the time; she left your text on “read” for 3 days while she was posting nonstop on Instagram about being bored at work; she went in for a hug when you went in for a kiss—then, yeah, it’s not working. But if just one thing feels off, put in effort one last time—and I do mean ONE last time—and see how she responds. If she responds tepidly, you’re done. If she’s excited, there you go. If she doesn’t respond at all, you may have missed a couple of the earlier signs that she wasn’t into it, and you should watch out for them in the future.
No matter what, do not seek closure. Closure doesn’t really exist; “closure” usually amounts to getting someone to admit that they didn’t like you, which is weird. You already know they didn’t like you, because they aren’t dating you. You aren’t going to get any answers about why they don’t like you. Maybe one time out of ten someone is going to give you a concrete, genuine answer that you could work on: You don’t listen well, you dominate conversations, you complain too much, etc. But most people are going to say they just aren’t ready to date, or that they would just rather be friends, or that they just feel like they can’t give you what you want. Don’t send out some long, dramatic text about how you can tell she isn’t into you so you think it’s best to end things now; you will never come across looking normal or sexy doing that. Just drop it and move on.
10 Mixed Signals Guys Send And What They Really Mean
Trying to decipher a man’s mixed signals has become a part of every woman’s dating life. I am not a big fan of mixed signals but my friends and I had our share of trying to figure out what they really mean. Most of the time, mixed signals are really simple to understand if we just take off our blinders. Here are ten mixed signals most guys send and what they really mean.
1. When he randomly texts you out of nowhere after disappearing to say something meaningless.
What he means: He wants attention. Some men thrive on attention from women and the best way to do that is to send something that is not too deep but still elicits a response.
2. When you respond to his text but he doesn’t reply even though he initiated the conversation.
What he means: He just wants to know if you still care, he is not interested in starting things up again, he wants to know that he still has you as an option.
3. When he texts you all the time but never plans to meet up.
What he means: He likes you just enough but he sees no chemistry between you two. He doesn’t see a future with you but he likes your conversations and maybe enjoys flirting with you, but that’s all it’s going to be.
What he means: You are not the only one he is seeing, or you could be the one he dated while he was on a break with his girlfriend. If you didn’t do anything crazy and the guy started pulling away, ignoring you and acting ‘busy’ all the time, then it’s clear that there is someone else in the picture.
What he means: He likes the thrill of the chase more than the satisfaction of the catch. He just wants what he can’t have, and wants to give himself a pat on the back that he can still get any woman he wants.
What he means: He still wants to keep you around but now that he made it clear that he is not interested in dating you seriously, he feels that he can get away with flirting with you more openly without any strings attached because he was honest about his intentions.
What he means: He is only physically attracted to you and he sees no point in spending quality time with you or getting to know you on a deeper level. You are his refined version of a booty call.
What he means: He is not ready to be exclusive with you yet, so he is buying himself some time but he also won’t show up to your special occasions so he doesn’t have to put a label on it or pave the way for you to have the ‘relationship talk’ with him.
What he means: He only wants to have fun. He likes your company and enjoys the fun side of it but he doesn’t want a meaningful relationship with you that includes dinners, deep conversations and chill Sundays. He just wants to party and have fun with you.
What he means: He is either really not ready or he doesn’t think you are the one, when he says “who knows what might happen in the future,’ this is his way of trying not to completely break your heart so he gives you any sort of false hope. Either way don’t wait for him to be ready and just find a man who doesn’t send you any of those mixed signals.
Usually men who are really into a woman will either not send mixed signals at all or send them in the beginning to test the waters and then be honest and clear about what they want. Communication is the key to a great relationship and if you can’t communicate openly and honestly with your partner, you’re going to end up in a whole world of pain.
Do Women Give Out Mixed Signals? 10 Common Ways They Do…
I was probably 23 then and had joined my first job. Another guy joined with me who would sit at my opposite desk. Usually I smiled at him if our eyes met. I thought that was a polite thing to do but I never imagined that I was giving out mixed signals. Then we would talk sometimes at lunch break and when he offered me his home food I offered mine back. I thought that was a very normal colleague thing to do but it was another mixed signal I was giving out and he interpreted it as my liking for him.
Yes, I liked him maybe, as a colleague but nothing more. But when I left that job and found him loitering in front of my house giving vague excuses of trying to find a laundry nearby, that’s when I realised my behavior might have given out all the wrong signals.
We women often end up giving mixed signals even without realizing that we are doing it. This happens when we are interacting with guys or even when we are dating the person. But first we need to know what really are mixed signals before going into how we should refrain from giving out those.
How Do I Respond To Mixed Signals?
The answer to all this craziness is the middle ground. The middle ground is where the answers become clear as day and you know exactly how to respond.
The middle ground is a period of time. It’s the amount of time that a behaviour is acceptable. Once that period of time has passed, the behavior is no longer ok.
This helps you determine whether or not you can let it slide, or have to bring it up with him or let him go.
For example, let’s say you’ve been dating a man casually and he’s not ready to put a label on the relationship. If he’s been doing this for a few weeks, that’s totally acceptable.
But if he’s been doing this for a year. Then the time to make it “official” passed a long time ago.
The middle ground is that point in time where the line gets crossed.
We’ll go through that middle ground in a variety of examples of mixed signals from guys below.
6. You’re casually dating but he never makes it official
This one is a little different than the one above because he hasn’t actually said that he doesn’t want to have a relationship. In fact, he hasn’t actually said anything about it at all.
2 months. This is plenty of time for him to date you, see how things are going and for him to look inward to see if he really wants a relationship.
You should never be in a casual relationship for longer than two months.
It must move to “boyfriend and girlfriend” territory after that.
Related: How To Make A Man Fall In Love With You – From Dating App To Marriage
5. He cancels plans
He finally asks you out on a date, but then he cancels last minute.
The middle ground in this situation isn’t a time period. It is the follow up he uses after the date is canceled.
This means that he cancels the date, but then does all three of the following:
If he does all of those things, then it is acceptable and he is likely still interested in you.
Date cancellations often happen with high-quality men.
Plans change and things happen once in a while, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with cancelling a plan for a date.
As a dating coach, I have actually seen this happen a little more often with higher-quality men. It’s not because they are arrogant or don’t respect your time.
It is because they often have demanding work schedules that require them to be present at their job at a moment’s notice.
If you want to date a high-quality successful man, you will need to put up with a little bit of this.
Just make sure this doesn’t happen twice in a row. He can be busy sure, but he also has to respect your time and cancelling two dates in a row doesn’t respect your time.
Don’t allow mixed signals to get in the way of your relationship.
Posted Mar 17, 2017 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
Let’s face it: We, as people, have a difficult time understanding each other, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Since we see the world through our own unique lenses, based on our story and what we’ve been through, each of us takes in information differently. We’ve all made assumptions and jumped to conclusions. We’ve all exhibited behavior that wasn’t justified. Dating and relationships are hard enough, even with great communication. Misunderstandings cause us to build on sand. Trust becomes difficult to produce and keeps healthy and lasting love at a distance. Mixed signals leave two people reacting to false information. Add to that our ego and fear of being vulnerable, and our dating experience or relationship can go south pretty quickly. When you add to the mix texts, social media, dating apps, and emails, there is even more room to miscommunicate.
Let’s go through some common mixed signals and see if you can relate:
I am totally guilty of falling into this trap; I still struggle with it. When we don’t get texts back quickly, our mind starts to race, and we assume the worst. You start to play things back and wonder where the holes were, especially if this person is someone you recently met. Then, of course, you find out the truth: They were in a meeting. They were swamped at work. They forgot their phone today. Their ringer was off. And the panic subsides until down the line, they don’t respond to a different text within your expected time window, or their response time changes, and you spiral downward once again.
It’s not the obvious dropoff that gets our mind spinning. If their response time goes from a few minutes to two days, yeah, something has changed — most likely feelings. And you may not be happy about it, but you get it. Not giving someone an answer is an answer. But when the inconsistencies are subtle, like minutes turning into hours, or the tone and energy changing, it can drive us nuts. It’s the grays that cause us to spin. So what do you do when you notice a slight delay or change in tone? Don’t jump to conclusions until you get all the information. Most likely, you’re pulling from your own insecurities or comparing this person’s response time to others from your past. Be patient: The truth will eventually float to the top.
I have a friend who will engage in lightning-speed text banter for hours, then suddenly go dark and completely ignore a question I asked for days. At first, I was offended (hurt) and questioned our friendship. Without even talking to him or getting the facts, I made a decision to distance myself. I thought if he’s not going to give me as much as I give him, why invest in this? I took it very personally. Then I slowly got used to it and learned that that’s just the way he is. Our relationship in person was great. He’s still the same friend. He’s just an inconsistent texter. So I accepted that and adjusted, and we’re still good friends.
There are so many reasons why a kiss doesn’t surface on a first date that has nothing to do with you or the chemistry. The person may want to kiss you, but the timing may be off, or the activity doesn’t allow for that moment. For example, if you go hiking during the day on your first date, it’s kinda tough to go in for the kill on a trail. Or your date may be waiting for the perfect moment because they fear rejection. So if the environment makes it awkward, they’re probably not going to force it. Or maybe kissing on the first date just isn’t an option for them; maybe they don’t kiss someone until the third or fourth date. So then it’s more about their patterns and comfort level than it is about you. Then again, the first date may not have ignited fireworks. It may be more of a slow burn; some people don’t feel the attraction until they’re a few dates in. So try not to put so much weight on when the kiss lands. It’s not about when it comes; it’s about how it feels.
Some people just aren’t comfortable showing affection in public. It’s not their style. Or maybe it’s a cultural thing — being Asian, I have never seen my parents show any public affection. Ever. I’m sure part of it has to do with their relationship dynamic. But public affection also just isn’t promoted in their culture. They’re not used to it. But I get it: Not getting affection returned can be hurtful and lead to questions. I’m actually very tactile and do enjoy public affection. But I’ve learned that many others aren’t like me, and so I don’t take it personally. The bottom line is everyone has their own comfort levels, and that may not be tied to how they feel about you.
I used to believe this; it was the fuel of many unwarranted fights. You see, I’m a talker, and when there’s an issue, I want to talk about it—immediately. It weighs on me if I don’t. And if you don’t want to talk about it, I feel like you don’t care, or that it’s not important to you. But through my relationships, I’ve learned that many people are not wired like me. They may avoid conflict, not because they want to, but maybe they don’t have the tools, or it’s how they’re wired from their upbringing. They may not be used to expressing themselves. Usually, people in this category just need some time. They need to think about their thoughts, so that they can respond instead of just react. Not everyone is wired the same. Today, I believe it’s actually healthy to take some time before tackling an issue. Time makes people less reactive. If someone isn’t ready to talk about an issue when you are, it doesn’t mean they don’t care. That being said, they do have to eventually come back to the issue to discuss it, or they probably are avoiding.
You would have had a hard time convincing me in my twenties, but now, at 43, I know that not wanting to have sex doesn’t mean your girlfriend isn’t attracted to you. Not everyone wants to have sex all the time. We have long days that leave us mentally and physically exhausted. We have issues with our bodies. We have anxiety. We get headaches. But so many of us instantly internalize when our partner shies away from our sexual advances. Usually, the first thing we believe is that it’s us, and that they’re not attracted to us anymore. They don’t want to be with us. Or there’s something wrong with the relationship. They’re mad at us. They’re holding on to something. Just find out what the real reason is, and don’t make a big deal out of it if it’s not a big deal. Just not being in the mood is enough of a reason—one day, you won’t be feeling like having sex when your partner wants to. You’ll be consumed with life issues, or maybe you won’t be feeling good about your body, and you will hope your partner understands and doesn’t make it all about him or her.
Many believe that saying “I love you” should come after a certain amount of time in a relationship, so they start saying it when they feel they should, instead of when they actually feel it. Then, when they don’t hear it back, they internalize, thinking it’s them. Or maybe they actually do mean it. Either way, an unreturned “I love you” doesn’t necessarily mean your partner is no longer interested in you. The thing about “I love you” is it means different things to different people. For some, it’s an extremely big deal. They’ve only said it once or twice in their life. For others, it’s an often grasped sign of security. But here’s the bottom line: Would you rather they say it back because they mean it, or because they feel like they have to? Give your partner space, and don’t tie how they feel about you to when they say it. You said it when you meant it; now allow them to say it when they feel the same.
Have you ever received mixed signals in dating? He seems interested, texts and calls, but he never asks you out. Learn what to do in this video!
Do you ever feel confused by the men you date? He says one thing, and then he contradicts himself. He plans for a future, but he’s not even available right now! It can make you crazy. Listen as I help Judi decode mixed signals with the man she was dating for 6 months. If you’re confused about what to do when there are mixed signals, you absolutely have to watch this video.
He pulls away after a few good dates
The first and most probable thing here is that he is not dating only you, if he had time to text and meet up with you before and now he is using the ‘busy’ excuse.
He is probably seeing other women alongside you. Don’t get too attached and keep your options open.
Secondly, he might not be ready for a relationship because he went through a break-up recently and he only just realized that. If that’s the case, thank him for not making you his rebound girlfriend and wave him goodbye.
How to with getting mixed signal from a guy by reading their mind
It is said that girls have a reputation for sending mixed signals, but this particular problem when forming a relationship runs both ways, and you can, just as often, find yourself in a situation where you get mixed signals from guys that makes you wish you know how to read men’s minds. Maybe he texts you in the middle of the night for days at a time, and then gives you a cold shoulder for a few days. Maybe he enjoys physical contact, but he is not making any moves. Maybe he’s just plain uncomfortable about using a word „boyfriend“. What you fill find out fast is that reading a guy’s mind is harder than it sounds. Nevertheless, there are ways to cope, methods for effectively dealing with getting mixed signals from a guy. Well, if you want to figure out how to read a guy’s mixed signals, first thing you need to do is look at things from his perspective and remember that we are all different, even when we want to be close to someone. I’ve got examples of some of the most common reasons as to why would a guy send mixed signals and how he looks at it, plus a bit about what you can do in a situation like that.
Do you always feel like you get mixed signals from the guy you’re crushing on? You’re not alone! Here’s how you can decode those signs! By Charley Reid
Men, direct as they may be towards their bros, can sometimes fall victim to being less than direct to womenfolk. It’s just hard for some of them to outright say what they want. Sometimes, they know what they want, but saying it out loud to a woman may end up with them getting smacked upside the head. No one wants that. So it’s up to the ladies to do the interpretation when men send mixed signals.
The problem with the interpretation game is that we ladies sometimes have our judgment clouded by our intense attraction to a guy. We want to hold on to the fact that maybe he did lose his phone or maybe he did forget to call you back or maybe he does like you despite the fact that you only see him when he’s drunk and it’s 2am. When it comes to deciphering a guy’s mixed signals, we can sometimes be pretty clueless. [Read: 9 quick ways to know if your crush likes you back]
Everyone sends mixed signals, but it’s women who are usually more attuned to the little nuances that goes along with those signals. Are you confused with what the guy you like says and does? Here’s a guide to their most baffling behaviors.
#1 He says he likes you, but he isn’t looking for a relationship. If you are crushing on a guy, and he tells you this, run. Run far away from him, as fast as you can, and don’t think twice. The fact of the matter is, if a guy likes you, he will not only tell you he likes you, he will show you, and he will definitely want to be with you. He will want to shout it from the roof a la Tom Cruise on OPRAH confessing his love for Katie Holmes.
If a guy says he isn’t ready/looking/wanting/doesn’t have time for a relationship, what he is saying is, sure you two can hang out and by hang out, I mean hook up. This also means he wants to keep his options open, and maybe meet and mingle with whoever he pleases.
If you’ve been giving him all the ‘perks’ of being in a relationship, without actually being in one, why would he change? You’ve been giving him everything he wants, and he’s not had to do any work. So if you’re the girl who has been playing along, because you think you can change his mind and a month from now, he’ll want to date you. Stop. Don’t be this girl.
#2 He texts to see what you’re doing, but never calls and never asks you to do anything. This guy is great at texting, always wanting to know what you’re doing, if you’re going out, and whatever else he decides he wants to know. He’s great at responding, but if you’ve ever tried calling him then usually, and by usually I mean always, mysteriously he never seems to answer.
Why is that? This guy doesn’t want to talk to you? No, this guy is checking in with you, and possibly with a slew of other girls, to see where you’re going out tonight, what bar you’ll be at, etc. He’s basically seeing which girls will be where and doing what. He’ll probably go to the place where the girl he likes the most will be. And if you were that girl, he’d be answering the phone when you have called.
It’s like the scene in Bridesmaids where Kristin Wig has to call Jon Hamm to pick her up, and he tries to get her to give him a blow job. But he realizes he doesn’t actually like her, so she gets out of the car, and when he drives off he yells out something along the lines “you were my 3 rd choice anyway!” Don’t make him a priority if you’re just his option.
#3 He doesn’t think you should be ‘in a relationship’ on Facebook. This guy… Oh man. He might consider himself a ‘nonconformist’ and says he doesn’t believe in Facebook relationships, because they usually cause more harm than good. Or maybe your crush is someone in the public eye, or thinks he is, and he tells you some BS about how he thinks it’s best for his career if his relationship status doesn’t say anything.
I know there are many different opinions when it comes to changing your relationship status on Facebook, but from all my observations and experiences, the guys that are actually really into their girlfriends would announce their love to the world, wouldn’t think twice about changing their status, and would do everything to make the girl feel loved. A guy who doesn’t want to change his relationship status might as well be the same guy who goes to a bar and hides his wedding ring. [Read: 12 things you do that will make him think you’re a stalker
#4 He always wants you to go over to his place. You might get really excited when your crush texts you or calls you, asking you to hang out, even if it is just you going over to his place. But if the only things he asks you to do involve you going over to his place, hooking up, hanging out, and watching movies, this guy is NOT into you the way you are into him.
Having sex, hooking up, watching movies in bed, then hooking up some more is great and all, but you’ve basically given him everything without him having to wine-and-dine you, or put forth any effort to keep you. If a guy actually likes you, he’ll want to make you feel special. He will want to take you out to dinner. He will want to invite you to the movies. Most importantly, he will want to come to you!
So the next time your guy asks you to come over, change it up. Ask him if he wants to come over to your place, maybe go out to eat, and go bowling. If he says something about how he’s already eaten, or he’s not feeling that great so he’d rather just hang at his crib, ditch him! [Read: 10 sneaky techniques guys use to get in your pants]
#5 He only texts you after midnight. This one is pretty self-explanatory, because this one is basically not a mixed signal at all, and instead a booty-call. It’s pretty obvious that if the only time the guy you like messages you is after midnight, he’s not actually into you. Instead, he just wants to be in you, get it?
And he’s probably been out with friends, meeting girls out, exchanging numbers, but didn’t find anyone that would come home with him. So he’s drunk, bored and horny, and that’s why he thought of you. Don’t fall for this guy, seriously. He’s not giving any mixed signals. He’s just giving you the BS that comes after he’s had a mixture of drinks.
If you’re happy to be a booty call, then go ahead, hang out with this guy all you want. But if you actually like this guy and he does this to you, it’s time you accept the fact he’s just not that into you. [Read: 7 reasons why women still date awful men]
#6 He takes pictures with you, puts them on social media, but… you’re not the only one. If he’s taking pictures of you, and with you, and he puts them up on Facebook, that’s great. He’s showing off, and he’s proud of you. But if you see that not only does he have pictures of you and him together, but you also realize he’s got an entire album of him and various girls, it means this guy is a collector. He likes to show off his “winnings.”
If his friends comment things like “yeah buddy!” or “nice work son!” it’s safe to say you’re just another notch on his belt. This guy cares more about showing off and bragging rights, than he does about you. When you two are out, and he asks to take a picture, it comes across as sweet and romantic, and it makes you feel like he actually likes you. But if he has an album filled with various women, don’t waste any more of your time. It doesn’t matter if they are just friends or not, the point is, these aren’t mixed signals, but the mixture of women he’s talking to. [Read: 11 signs you shouldn’t trust the guy you’re dating]
#7 It takes him a while to respond. If you’ve been texting the guy you like, and out of nowhere, he goes MIA, you should take this as the signal that he may just be ignoring you or playing hard to get. If you don’t hear back from him, and you hear nothing but white noise for hours, days, maybe even weeks, this guy is not for you. He might sort of like you, but he doesn’t like you enough and he’s definitely just weighing all of his options.
We all are connected 24/7, and we all check our social media stuff daily, so there’s no excuse. If this guy has a job, then I can promise you, yes, his phone is charged, no, his dog didn’t eat it, and yes, he did get the texts you sent him asking if he was okay. [Read: 5 signs he’s emotionally unavailable]
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Mixed signals from a guy or girl can be confusing and frustrating. Learn these tips on how to read mixed signals and make that person fall for you.
But not when the one you like is blowing hot and cold with you.
Are you getting mixed signals from a guy or girl you like?
But that’s only when you feel like you can’t understand what’s happening.
If you can predict the patterns of mixed signals while attracting someone, you’ll realize that a flirty game of mixed signals can be a lot of fun.
And when things do turn in your favor, your relationship would definitely sizzle with fiery passion.
For the uninitiated, have you ever felt like someone likes you, but then you’re confused again?
If you feel like this special someone has affections for you at one time, and then see that they completely ignore you at another time, you’re probably experiencing a classic case of mixed signals in love.
The most basic idea you need to remember about mixed signals is that it’s mutual.
If you feel like there’s something going on, the person you like should feel the same way too. When both of you have secret interactions through eyes or subtle gestures at times and then completely ignore each other at other times, you’re building up a flirty game of mixed signals. [Read: 15 obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]
Mixed signals aren’t hard to read. In fact, they’re really simple. But a flirty game of mixed signals is more insecure and unsteady than regular courtship. So if you want to enjoy the mixed signals you’re getting, don’t rush in looking for answers. Take your time, and enjoy the game.
#1 Play along. This is the first step in trying to end the game of mixed signals in your favor. Do you feel like someone’s trying to glance at you now and then, but then they completely avoid looking at you some other time? Or does the one you like flirt with you like they’re already in love with you, and then talk to you like just another friend the next morning? [Read: 20 signs of attraction in a conversation]
Don’t pull your hair out thinking about it. Relax. You know something’s up. Just enjoy the game and look for opportune moments to get flirty again.
#2 Challenge the game now and then. So you’ve been playing at the mercy of this person until now. You flirt when they flirt. You behave like a friend when they behave like a friend. Don’t be bound by their rules of the mixed signals game. Try to take control of it.
The next time this person tries to flirt with you or tries making eye contact, ignore them. By doing that, you’re letting this person know that you’re not a puppet and you can play the game too. This person may ignore you for a day or two, but they’ll start sending out mixed signals before the end of the week. By switching the control of the game now and then, you’ll make this person you like try to win your affection too and you won’t be the one with a crush anyone.
#3 Don’t burst out. As frustrating as mixed signals can be, don’t ever burst out or confront the one you like. They may be sending mixed signals, but you have no idea if this person actually likes you. By bursting out or forcing an answer out of this person, you’ll end up losing any chance of ever getting into a relationship with them. Just have fun and enjoy the flirty games.
#4 Are you misreading the signs? As fun as the games could be, you need to ask yourself if you’re misreading the signs. What if this person you like is not sending any mixed signals at all? What if you’re just making all the assumptions? [Read: Signs a guy is really into you]
Don’t let emotions cloud your mind. If a girl smiles at a guy or talks sweetly with him, the guy may assume she’s sexually interested in him. On the other hand, if a guy talks sweetly with a girl, the girl may assume he wants to get into a relationship with her. Make sure you’re reading the signs properly or you may end up looking foolish. [Read: 12 ways to find out if a girl likes you]
#5 Don’t fall for this person just yet. You may like this person already, but don’t fall head over heels in love just yet. The exchanging of mixed signals could just be a silly game to pass the time. You don’t know if this person likes you for sure. So until then, play along and have fun.
#6 Mixed signals are sexual. Mixed signals are mostly sexual, which means you need to create memories that would excite their sexual sides. Sometimes, they behave like they’re attracted to you and sometimes, they don’t. Use that in your favor. Learn to get closer or create memories when they’re warming up to you.
You could touch this person discreetly while walking past each other or you could sit really close to each other. Do anything as long as you give out the sexual vibe when you’re around this person. [Read: How to kiss a friend accidentally and get away with it]
#7 Learn from it. There are times when this person likes you a lot and other times when they don’t like you back. Why do you think they’re blowing hot and cold? Are they dating someone else? Are they having second thoughts about dating you?
Mixed signals are a confusion. But people don’t give out mixed signals just to play around. They give out mixed signals when they’re not sure about whether they want to date you or not. Whenever you’re with each other, try to charm this person and make them like you more. Perhaps, by making this person like you better, you could eventually date this person. [Read: Easy tips to start dating a friend]
#8 Don’t tell anyone else about it. Mixed signals are like secret games. You really shouldn’t tell anyone else about it, least of all, that person’s friends. If anyone else talks about it, you’ll end up bringing it out into the open. And when that happens, the person you like has to decide at once whether they want to date you or not. And when someone’s giving you mixed signals, they’re probably going to walk away from you. [Read: How to tell someone you love them without losing them]
At the same time, spreading the word that this person’s playing games with you may annoy the person who’s playing games with you. And you may just end up embarrassing yourself if no one believes you.
#9 Take a decision. Once you’ve started charming this person, hope for the best. Try to turn the mixed signals into romance if you want, or just have fun, or forget all about it. There may be too many reasons behind why you’re getting mixed signals from this person no matter what you do to impress them.
They may already be dating someone else or may be interested in someone else at the same time, they probably don’t think you’re good enough to date, their friends don’t approve of you, and who knows what other reasons there may be.
If this person you like starts warming up to you and stops giving out mixed signals, good for you. On the other hand, if it’s not working out in your favor, forget about it instead of breaking your head over it. Chances are, once you forget all about it, this person will want your attention and may start trailing you again! [Read: 10 subtle eye contact flirting tips that always work]
#10 The final confrontation. When you confront the one who’s giving you mixed signals, it almost always never ends well. They could just deny it and there’s not a thing you can do. But if this person’s been playing games with you for a long time and you can’t take it anymore, perhaps it’s time for confrontation.
Confront this person only if the mixed signals get overly obvious or if it’s affecting your mind and your sanity. But if you can deal with it, just walk away and start ignoring this person if they don’t reciprocate your feelings.
[Read: Signs to know if both of you are just friends or more than friends]
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Mixed Signals: Definition and The Search For Better
One final word on this topic: consider the dictionary definition of mixed signals. This one’s taken from Merriam Webster: “a showing of thoughts or feelings that are very different from each other.” Forgive yourself for being confused about their mixed signals. All people – women and men included – are negatively affected when they don’t know where they stand. Take the view that if they’re playing games with your love and affection, they’re not worth the trouble.
Worst case, you can always ask a guy a direct question. The ‘let’s define our relationship’ conversation is much-maligned, but useful if you need to know whether it’s just dating or something more. If you confront a guy about him sending the wrong signals, you should be able to expect sympathy, understanding, and at the very least maturity. If you’re too frightened to have this conversation, perhaps it’s not the relationship for you – asking a guy to be more direct with you isn’t asking for the world.
Take the time to heal before you embark on the search for something better however. Pay attention to your needs, be kind to yourself and ensure you’re content in your own skin in order to be ready for love to enter into your life again.
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So why do people give off mixed signals?
Keep in mind, you’re not to blame for being on the receiving end of confusing messages. It just means the other person has a lot to straighten out, and the mess affects you. Mixed signals can simply be a miscommunication—or they can be an excuse to hold you at arm’s length because they don’t want to commit (or make you believe that they are ready to).
“Usually, it’s used to create distance,” Feuerman says. “It’s a way to say, ‘I’m not totally sure I am into your or not.’ Or, ‘I’m not sure if we want the same thing here.” Either way, mixed signals can be used to slow down the pace of the relationship without actually talking about it. (Cue eyeroll.)
Before you tap that unfollow button, a quick disclaimer: “Everyone’s experience is different,” says Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT, relationship therapist and founder of Modern Love Counseling. Mixed signals can definitely mean that the other person isn’t going all in on you, but that’s not the only answer at play.
Often, those who give off mixed signals have avoidant attachment styles, a learned coping strategy where the person shies away from closeness and intimacy because it makes them uncomfortable. (There’s more to this, but that’s a whole ’nother story, for another time.)
They might “appear super interested in you, but then engage in sabotaging behavior that causes emotional or physical distance,” says Samantha Burns, dating coach and author of Done with Dating: 7 Steps to Finding Your Person. It’s up to you if you want to try to see it through with an avoidant type—not saying hard pass, but it will definitely take some patience and emotional energy on your end to ever break through their wall.
Now that you know what could be behind all those mixed messages…
7. You still haven’t had the “what are we?” conversation.
The transition from dating to being exclusive is, uh, a trip. Just when you think things are progressing, they dodge any conversation that approaches commitment, or worse, ghost you for a while. Burns says to watch out for noncommittal responses when you ask to hang out again, like “that sounds fun” without throwing out a real time. If you’re the only one reaching out, you could be more interested in them than they are in you.
Should you stop dating someone who’s giving you mixed signals?
Ah, the ultimate question. Here’s the expert advice: Let the other person settle into the thing you have going, but don’t wait around or cut them slack every time they give you a mixed signal. Investing time and energy in someone who doesn’t return the emotional favor is asking for heartache.
“We know that those who don’t directly communicate their thoughts and feelings might be self-absorbed, lacking empathy, or immature,” Feuerman says. (Oof. Those are three words you don’t want to use to describe a potential partner.)
When the mixed signals become too much—i.e., you’re feeling abnormally anxious or unsettled, to a point that it’s legit affecting your headspace—speak up about how it makes you feel, figure out where the messages are coming from and make your decision, Feuerman and Jeney suggest. If it helps to give yourself a deadline before initiating a convo about it, do that (but stick to it).
“I know it’s scary, but you have actually nothing to lose if this person isn’t interested anyway,” she says. “You may, however, have a lot to gain. Sometimes we just need that opening to confront our own feelings head-on.” I’m not going to sugarcoat it—clarity can suck, particularly when you get an answer you were hoping not to get, but there’s no fun in wasting your emotional energy on someone who hasn’t earned it. Not to mention, overthinking and reading into every little text and signal is exhausting, if not destructive.
“Be brave enough to confront their behavior and ask what it means,” Feuerman says. “It’s okay to express how you feel about the way you are being treated.” If anything, that shows someone that you know your worth and aren’t going to stand to be treated for less than you deserve. To the right person, that will be sexy—and make them want to step up, because you’re too good to lose. (You ARE.)
If the person acts the same after you bring up the conversation, it may be “your cue to exit, since they may not be capable of meeting you halfway,” Jeney says. By all means, feel the feels—but this isn’t a moment to self-doubt or self-loathe, or feel resentment toward them. This is an opportunity to „honor your desires for a relationship,“ Burns says. „Walk away with your head held high, and be proud that you’re prioritizing yourself.“
10 Common Confusing Mixed Signals A Woman Gives
If you are getting mixed signals in dating then it could really stress you out because most of the time you are trying to figure out what’s going on. On the other hand some women, who could be genuinely interested in you, are not even aware that they are giving out mixed signals.
She could be an extrovert, and smiling and conversing with everyone could come naturally to her. And you could be thinking it’s only you she does it with. On the other hand she wants to make you feel special but doesn’t know how and doesn’t realize that prioritizing your messages could be one way of doing it.
So mixed signals come with a whole lot of contradictions and confusion that’s hard to unravel. But we could help you by telling you the most common mixed signals women end up giving. Here are 10 mixed signals.
Getting Mixed Signals?
Have you been seeing someone and you’re not sure how he feels because he’s giving you mixed signals? Maybe there are signs he likes you but is afraid of rejection? Does he pursue you relentlessly for a while, initiating dates and get-togethers, only to pull back and act distant a few days later? If this distance continues to grow, it can be a sign that the man you’re interested in has lost his attraction or is having mixed feelings on whether or not he likes you, he may just be afraid or fears your feelings. However, if you’re noticing a cycle of pursuit-withdrawal that keeps repeating, your man might be falling in love but afraid of his strong emotions. It could be one of the signs he’s catching feelings and is just afraid.
It can be frustrating having feelings for someone you’re dating but not being sure if they reciprocate those feelings. It’s rarely appropriate to confront the man you’re seeing to make him confess his feelings. Still, not knowing can be stressful and cause a lot of anguish and sleepless nights. You may find yourself caught up in your thoughts, trying to untangle the truth. You could agonize over whether or not you notice some signs he’s catching feelings.
Of course, every man is different in their unique ways, but there are a few signs that may suggest what he’s feeling: is he afraid of rejection, is he afraid, is he into you? Looking for the following signs, he’s falling in love but scared to admit it to gauge where your relationship is headed.
Before we discuss the common signs that a man displays when he has conflicted feelings, let’s talk about the potential reasons behind this ambivalence. Research supports the theory that love and fears can become connected when we go through negative experiences. While you may not have that much information about your guy’s dating history, whatever you do know may give you insight into why he would be hesitant to embrace his romantic feelings. He may be afraid or reserved, or he just might not know the next move to make.
Maybe he’s been hurt by a past relationship and is afraid of rejection. Men, just like women, can feel very vulnerable when it comes to loving someone, especially if their heart has been broken in the past, it may make them afraid of the future. Unless you’re the first person he’s been involved with; he’s likely had difficult experiences involving rejection and heartache, he fears this will happen again. Maybe he likes you, but doesn’t want to show signs he’s catching feelings for you.
If he’s been through a significant break-up or divorce, he may be guarding his heart carefully from experiencing the same pain. This is completely normal, it is just his past making him afraid of what is next to come. No matter how much you care about him, you can’t force him to rush into things. This kind of attitude will usually only push him away. It is best to give him space and be understanding as he copes with his fears of what is to come.
To get an insight into how your guy feels, observe his behavior without confronting him on what they mean, which may put him on the defensive. There may be signs he’s interested in you but is afraid of rejection. The following patterns generally occur due to intensely conflicting feelings, a clash between how much he cares about you and want to run away from the intensity of the relationship, so he doesn’t end up getting hurt, he may be afraid of rejection. Be on the lookout for the following signs that may clue you into how he feels.
You may see him staring at you from across the room or notice that he’s holding eye contact longer than he did before, but then he averts his gaze when he realizes you’re on to him. In any case, increased visual attention is a clear sign that he has feelings for and is very attracted to you. The fact that he’s looking away is an indicator that the feeling is overwhelming to him, it may be a case where he’s afraid of rejection or he’s afraid of how you feel.
The particular way he looks at you can also give you insight into how he feels and if he likes you. There’s a different vibe to how he’ll look at you when it comes from a place of love, versus a place of attraction. It’s a softness in his eyes, a longing that’s deeper than lust which is yet another of the signs he’s catching feelings.
This is one of the clearest signs that a man has feelings for you but is scared of getting closer. See if you recognize this pattern: he’s acting interested and initiates a few dates in a row. Everything goes well, and you feel good about the relationship. Suddenly, his level of communication plummets, and he’s busier than normal. Maybe he’s not returning your messages like he did before or avoids your phone calls. If the distance continued to grow, you would probably assume that he’s losing interest or lost interest. However, just when you begin to make the distance of your own, he contacts you, and the cycle begins anew.
This common pattern is a telltale sign of a man who is scared to commit, he may be afraid of rejection. When you notice him pulling away, give him ‚t chase after him, which will only encourage him to start running. Instead, even if it’s difficult, focus on your own life and keep busy. The more space he’s given and the more independent he sees you, the more likely he will feel comfortable getting closer on his own time. You can stop looking out for signs he’s catching feelings, and let him come to a decision about you and whether or not he’s afraid of rejection with you.
Have you ever been talking to someone and had the unpleasant experience of realizing they do not hear a word you say? In our distraction-laden society, it’s an unfortunately common experience. If the guy you see actually pays attention to what you’re saying when you’re telling him about your day at work or the plot of your favorite movie, it’s a sign he’s truly interested in what goes on in your head and your life. If he brings these things up in future conversations, you can be sure you’re on his mind often, and it’s one of the signs he’s catching feelings. If he has still yet to take the relationship to the next level he may be nervous or afraid of rejection from you.
If your guy seems truly happy around you and seems to view you as his respite, that’s a clear indication of how much you mean to him. When he laughs at your jokes (even the cheesy ones), tries to make you smile, and relaxes when he’s in your presence, he’s showing you how he feels without speaking it aloud, and yet another of the signs he’s catching feelings.
Many men are conditioned not to talk about or acknowledge their emotions, especially those that make them feel vulnerable. That’s why to know what a man is feeling and thinking; it helps to pay attention to how he acts. There may be physical actions he takes to let you know if he is afraid of rejection, falling for you, or just nervous around you. If he cares about you, you may notice him making an effort to do things for you. Pay attention if he goes out of his way to help you out with errands or responsibilities.
If the guy you’re dating has taken the initiative to introduce you to his family, friends, and other people close to him, you can be sure that he wants you in his life, even if he’s keeping his emotions vague. He may discuss feelings and hesitations he’s reluctant to bring up with you directly with other people he’s close to in his life. If you get the indication that you’re a frequent topic of conversation among your guy and his inner circle, it can be a strong sign of your importance to him and another of the signs he’s catching feelings for you.
This one is a little tricky, but if it’s present along with the other behaviors listed above, then it could be a sign he’s falling for you. If you notice him talking about the potential of a future with you, but not committing to any solid plans, he might be testing out the idea to become comfortable with it.
Dealing with mixed signals can be stressful and emotionally draining. You may find yourself preoccupied with thoughts of the relationship or wondering if you should break it off to spare yourself heartache down the line. If you notice the types of behavior listed above and you genuinely care for the guy, then try to give him some time and space. Instead of confronting him or trying to talk endlessly about his feelings, give him enough space to work his feelings out on his own.
It can be difficult at first but putting the focus back on yourself will protect your own mental and emotional health. This attitude may give him the security needed to commit to you once and for all.
A word of caution: some men can get stuck in a holding pattern where they seem permanently unwilling to commit, they maybe afraid of rejection, or maybe it’s something else. If you’ve been dating for a long time and you’re looking to settle down, but the guy you’re with is still hesitant about admitting his true feelings and committing to you, you should give a lot of thought on whether or not to continue the relationship. Research shows that this kind of love avoidance persists unless treatment is sought by the person displaying it.
Being on the receiving end of mixed signals can make even the most confident person question themselves, especially if you care about the person you’re dating. Getting advice from a third party with professional experience in the realm of relationship counseling can give you a clear picture of the situation, they may explain to you what the mixed signals mean, and whether or not your partner is afraid of rejection.
If you’re experiencing issues related to your relationship or dating life, a therapist can work with you to identify any negative emotional or behavioral patterns that may be holding you back or making you afraid to commit. Turn to BetterHelp for online therapy that can help guide you in the right direction when it comes to the future of your relationship.
There are specific ways to identify whether a guy likes you or not. Guys aren’t necessarily open about catching feelings. They might keep their emotions to themselves for a while until they are sure how they feel. If he wants to hook up, then he’s not necessarily want to be in a relationship with you. A sign that he’s only interested in sex would be that all you do when you’re together is go to the bedroom. That’s one of the signs he’s only interested in hooking up, whereas one of the big signs he’s into you is that he’s interested in doing things with you that don’t involve being intimate; you spend quality time together. One of the main signs he’s caught feelings for you is if he’s initiating the quality time together.
If he’s caught feelings for you, you’ll know because he’s happy to spend quality time with you. He’s introducing you to his friends, admitting that he’s interested in you, and telling you that you’re beautiful or straight up saying that he’s into you. Another way to know that he’s really into you is if he’s initiating it. One of the definite signs he’s into you is that if he’s putting in the effort to contact you. You’re not asking him to hang out all of the time. You know that he’s catching feelings if he’s taking the lead and asking you out and initiating conversations.
A guy will show you that he’s interested in you through texting if he’s flirtatious; maybe, he uses pet names or sends you sweet compliments. One of the other big signs he’s the one initiating the text conversations. Guys like to be in charge of the chase sometimes, so if he’s the one making the moves toward you, it’s safe to say that he’s interested in you. If the text dialogue goes back and forth and you find that he’s quick to respond, that’s another sign that he’s into you and has caught feelings.
Some guys will straight up tell you, „I’m not ready for a serious commitment. I want to have fun. I don’t want a relationship right now.“ Maybe, they’ll say that they want to be friends with benefits, and if that’s the case, you have to hear what they’re saying and ask yourself if that’s the commitment that you want. Other times, people won’t be as straight forward, and this will be harder to determine. If the guy is nervous about committing you, it’s safe to say he’s not ready to be in a relationship. If he’s against the idea of only dating each other, it’s safe to say that he doesn’t want to be in a one-on-one relationship. If there’s any commitment phobia, he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, or at the least, he’s not prepared for it.
Being on the receiving end of mixed signals can make even the most confident person question themselves, especially if you care about the person you’re dating. You’re desperate to find signs he’s catching feelings, but you can’t seem to gain clarity on that. Getting advice from a third party with professional experience in the realm of relationship counseling can give you a clear picture of the situation.
If you’re experiencing issues related to your relationship or dating life, a therapist can work with you to identify any negative emotional or behavioral patterns that may be holding you back. Turn to BetterHelp for online therapy that can help guide you in the right direction when it comes to the future of your relationship.
Mixed signals can mean many different things to different people. Sometimes mixed signals don’t actually mean anything and you’re just confused by them. Many common mixed signals can cause people to think that a person is interested in them when they’re really not. Communication is key when you’re trying to avoid misunderstandings. Common mixed signals can occur between friends and it can lead one person to think that another might have romantic intentions. It might be a mere mistake, or it could be that your friend is unsure of how to proceed. Other mixed signals involve being afraid of rejection. These common mixed signals can be frustrating when you’re on the receiving end, but you are better off addressing the issue than leaving it alone.
Determining what common mixed signals mean without discussing it with the person sending the mixed signals is not possible. You can’t definitively say what someone is thinking if you don’t have more information. The person you’re getting mixed signals from could be into you. The person you’re referring to might not be aware that he’s sending mixed signals, though. Just have a chat with the person you’re getting those mixed signals from and clear the air. It’s the simplest way to get the answers that you’re seeking.
The best thing to do when you get mixed signals from someone is to ask them about it. Maybe they’re afraid of rejection, or maybe they’re not sure how you feel. This might not be what you want to hear, but you need to be an adult and address things so that you can move forward properly. It isn’t very helpful to shy away from the topic when you’re unsure of someone’s intentions. If you continue reading into these mixed signals without confirmation, then it’s simply going to drive you crazy. Find the real reason why your friend is acting this way and don’t continue reading into things. You can get the real reason for why things are sort of confusing and then you’ll both be better off. Don’t let love languages confuse you into thinking something that may or may not be true.
It’s understanding that you might be nervous about this topic. Some people are afraid to find out that someone has feelings for them and others will be afraid of rejection. You might be worried about sounding silly, but it’s best to try to be confident. All you’re trying to do is to clear up mixed messaging. If someone has made romantic gestures to you that haven’t been clear enough, then you want to know what is up. Find more information by talking to your friend and get to the bottom of this situation.
There are a large number of related stories that you could hold up as examples of mixed messages. For instance, someone might give a gift to you that doesn’t seem like a friendly type of gift. If someone gives you a bouquet of roses for your birthday, but doesn’t ask you out on a date, then that could seem like a mixed message. When you give a gift to someone that seems like a romantic type of gift, then that sends a definite message. Not acting after giving the gift is the part that makes the message a mixed one because it can leave the other party confused or afraid of what is next. When someone throws you a party and imported expensive wine for the occasion, then that seems like a big deal. There’s always the chance that this person would throw a party and import expensive things just for fun, but you can see how that would be considered mixed messaging.
Some people send out mixed signals without knowing what they’re doing. Maybe you think you’re being clear with your intentions when you’re really not. The other person may think you are afraid of rejection or afraid to move forward with them. You’ve heard about how people have created and maintained lies or other related stories to protect themselves. Well, sometimes people do things like that without even knowing what they’re doing. You could be holding back on telling someone your feelings subconsciously while making up excuses here and there. Maybe you’re flirting with someone sometimes while you’re ignoring them other times due to your nerves. There are many related stories like this that can show you how you might be sending mixed signals. You might even start to flirt because you’re bored with your social media feed and not because you really mean what you’re saying.
Basically, choosing to share how you honestly feel is the best course of action. If someone seems unsure of your romantic intentions, then this is a sign that you’re not being clear enough. Wires get crossed when you don’t take the time to explain yourself. Try to avoid situations like this if you can and think about whether you’re communicating properly. You should remember actions speak louder than words as well. You can say one thing, but if your actions don’t back up your statements, then you’re sending mixed messages.
You can stop sending mixed signals by taking the time to be clear about your communication. Be mindful of the things that you’re saying to other people and consider how others might interpret your words. You also need to think about your actions and how they will be perceived. When wires get crossed due to miscommunication, it makes your life more difficult. Remember that affectionate gestures can be viewed by some as friendly and will be seen by others as romantic in nature. If you can be better about sending clear messages moving forward, then you can avoid problems.
Determining why your ex is giving you mixed signals might be tougher than you’d hope. Sometimes an ex might send mixed signals because they sort of want you back. Other times, you might just be reading into things without there really being anything substantial there. Some exes try to remain friends after breaking up and this does work out okay in certain circumstances. Just remember that tension can arise from a partner if you’re talking to an ex. Would you find it alarming if your partner spent time with an ex? If so, then you might want to be sure that you don’t have a double standard when it comes to yourself.
Exes will sometimes send mixed messages and this can be frustrating. For example, maybe your ex boyfriend will leave the bathroom door opening while he’s showering. This could make you think that he’s trying to flirt or entice you into a sexual encounter. You should bring to their attention the fact that this situation makes you feel awkward. If an ex is sending mixed messages, then you likely need to talk about it. If you want to remain friends and they won’t stop being hot and cold toward you, then things aren’t going to be positive. You can bring about real change if you’re mindful of this and address these actions when they occur. Give your self absorbed partner no shade while addressing things and just try to focus on getting back to an honest place.
Being able to tell whether a girl is into you will depend on the situation. A woman might give you certain signs such as talking to you in a flirtatious manner. Certain women might try to cheer you up when you’re feeling blue or whips you into shape when you’re struggling with motivation. Some women might even show physical signs of affection. Not everyone is the same, though. There are many girls that might be a bit shy and this could cause her to give you mixed signals. She might be afraid of confrontation and this could make her be a little less obvious about her feelings. Many people are afraid of rejection or being made fun of. These could mean that her signs of being into you will be very subtle.
If someone tries to spend a lot of time around you, then they might be very interested in dating you. She could also just want you as a friend, though. Generally, you want to be able to feel like someone is attracted to you and see signs of that so that you know how to proceed. It might be up to you to move the relationship forward if she won’t come out and confess her feelings. This can be a bit one sided when you’re talking with someone who is shy, but it’s usually best to talk to a girl about things.
For the most part, men are usually a bit more obvious when he’s into a woman. You can usually tell that a guy is into a girl by the way that he’s acting around that girl. He might try to get a little closer to the girl than usual or he may change suddenly when he’s aware that you see him looking. The same can be said of gay men who are showing interest in other men. Men aren’t always confident enough to come out and say “I like you.” Some of them will have confidence in spades while others will search for the right opportunity for far too long. If you pay attention to his body language and demeanor, then you will probably be able to tell if he’s interested in you.
3. Passive Reciprocation
This is a major trap that happens a lot. It usually happens when you do most of the initiating and he just passively accepts your advances.
Maybe you’re always the first to text or call him. You suggest things to do together. You’re the one putting in the effort to make plans, etc. He always responds – and he’s really nice when he responds! He shows up, he’s a gentleman.
But if you’re not doing the reaching out, he’s not doing it either. You find yourself always being the one to initiate things. And it’s so confusing because he always seems game and up for whatever you put out there, right? Talk about mixed messages!
What’s really going on is he’s simply being polite. He’s agreeing to things because he likes you enough to spend time with you but doesn’t like you enough (remember point #1) to initiate anything or take charge because he’s ultimately not interested in dating you.
He likes you a little bit and enjoys hanging out but he’s not making any moves on his own because he just simply doesn’t like you a lot. If he was really into you, he would be making at least half the effort (if not a whole lot more) to see you and spend time together going on real, legitimate dates.
The best way to assess this is to pull back and see how he responds. If you feel like you’re getting mixed messages and doing all the work, just relax for a while and see if he reaches out or makes the effort. If not, you have a clear answer.
4. He’s Just A Flirty Guy
This last point really applies to a guy you’re not dating. Maybe you’re just friends or even acquaintances but you’re wondering if there’s something more there. If there’s all this flirting happening and yet nothing else going on under the surface, it’s not mixed messages. He’s just a flirt.
Some guys out there just have flirty personalities. They’re charming, charismatic, and make you feel great … but they have that effect on everyone. It’s just their personality no matter who they’re talking to.
I used to know a guy just like this and you wouldn’t believe the wake of confusion he left in his path with any woman he interacted with. He was so charming and flirty that it was very easy to mistake it for something much more than that.
If you feel like he’s in deep and flirting with you, take a step back and look at how he interacts with everyone else in his life. Is he treating you differently?
Also, the way to know if he’s actually flirting is whether something comes of it. Meaning, he takes the next step and gets your number or asks you out. Flirting in and of itself is meaningless. Real flirting is a means to an end, not an end itself.
So here you have my breakdown about the truth of “mixed messages” and the 4 most common situations they spring out of. I hope this shed some light on your situation so that you don’t waste your time trying to analyze a guy’s behavior when the answer is right in front of you.
Speaking of confusing male behavior, ever wonder why guys pull away? And do you know how to respond when it happens? If not, read this next: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Also, I know how confusing it can be to figure out how he feels and to know what truly inspires a man to commit. Read this for answers: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
He’s holding out for the one
Let’s be honest, if he’s messing with your feelings, it could be because he is trying to keep you as a backup. Perhaps he’s killing time while waiting for an ex or he may be dating other girls at the same time, but either way, it’s not good for you to wait to find out.
If You Are Not Sure If the Two of You Are Dating, or Why Are You Still Not Dating, Find out What Could Be the Reasons of Getting Mixed Signals from Guys
We’ve all been there – we have spent a lot of time with someone we like, but he stopped calling back for a few days, or he seems like he has lost interest all of a sudden, or he adamantly refuses to be called a boyfriend and come meet the family. Any of these examples can manifest themselves before and even after you’ve been intimate with a guy, and can really dampen your day. Mixed signals from men can carry all kinds of meanings, and to move on with your relationship you need to know a thing or two about interpreting them and reacting to them. You need to remember that guy doing this to you hasn’t lost his mind or anything like that; it’s just that you can’t figure out the motivation behind his actions, which is why they seem alien and strange to you. Here are some of the reasons why would men go from hot to cold and act erratic in a relationship.
#12: He’s trying to impress you
He wants to prove that he’s the right choice for you.
Instead of letting you figure this out, men like to make this very obvious. They feel the need to convince you where they stand in comparison to the competition.
The more competition they expect (or the more attractive they find you), the more this will play a role. So if your potential new boyfriend is beating his chest like a gorilla…
Then that’s his way of letting you know that he’s into you. And he wants to convince you of how great he is.