Roxane Gay Talks to Lena Dunham About Her New Book, Feminism, and the Benefits of Being Criticized Online

Lena Dunham is not that kind of girl, and we know this because she tells us so in the title of her new (and first) book, Not That Kind of Girl. But the title is ironic and not ironic; she is that type of girl, too, and doesn’t really give a shit if you’re onboard with it or not. The writer Roxane Gay, an associate professor of English and creative writing at Purdue University, is and isn’t that kind of girl, too, with a similar undeniable frankness and her own best-selling book of essays also bearing a title with a dual meaning: Bad Feminist. Over the phone from her home in Lafayette, Indiana, regular Vulture contributor Gay spoke for the first time with her New York–based Twitter friend Dunham, and they talked about feminism, diversity, and what can be learned from internet criticism.

Lena Dunham: Hi. I’m such your crazy fan. I love both your books so much. I can’t believe they came out in the same year. And every time I read something about you or by you, I’m just screaming, “Go, go, go!” I’m so psyched! And I can’t say enough how grateful I am that you read the book so thoughtfully.

That was my biggest fear about writing a book. Either that I would accidentally write one of those, or someone would bully me into writing something that was like, Well, I’m on a TV show, so now I’m writing the requisite book. I have so much respect for the medium, and writers are the biggest celebrities and heroes to me, so the idea of contributing something slack or light to the medium just made me feel pretty nauseous. After there was all the talk around my book deal, my publishers were really supportive of me taking me time, but some people were kind of like, “Don’t you want to get that book out there so the talk slows down?” And I was like, “No, I want to make the book as strong as I possibly can,” which was always my intention from the beginning.

Lena Dunham Says Gay People Are Preventing Her From Getting Married (Video)

After vowing not to wed until same-sex marriage is legal, “Girls” star offers another excuse for not getting hitched

“Girls” star Lena Dunham appeared on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” on Friday and revealed why she and her boyfriend of four years, musician Jack Antonoff, have not yet married.

According to Dunham, it’s the legalization of gay marriage that has prevented her and Antonoff from entering whatever might pass as wedded bliss for these two.

Also Read: Lena Dunham Compares Reading Gawker, Jezebel to Enduring Domestic Abuse (Audio)

The actress previously vowed not to get hitched until everyone was allowed to wed. With marriage equality now the law of the land, Ellen asked the reasonable question: So what’s the deal with your wedding?

Cue Excuse No. 2, which surprisingly also revolves around gay marriage.

“We were hiding behind fake liberal ideals,” Dunham cracked, before explaining, “I’m excited to marry him at some point, but it felt like a lot of pressure to just go for it that day [when gay marriage was legalized].”

Also Read: Hillary Clinton Talks Lenny Kravitz’s Penis with Lena Dunham (Video)

“I feel intimidated, because I don’t want to espouse any stereotypes, but gay people are kind of killing it at weddings right now. They’re kind of winning at weddings,” Dunham said. “So I don’t want to go in and just pale in comparison to all these [gay weddings].”

At least Dunham has fully committed to coming up with reasons for why she can’t tie the knot.

Watch Dunham talk marriage avoidance with DeGeneres in the video.

Lena Dunham Says Gay People Are Preventing Her From Getting Married (Video)

Lena Dunham Celebrates Gay Marriage Ruling, Tells Jack Antonoff ‚Get On It‘

Lena Dunham celebrated the United States Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage Friday in a series of tweets, plus a message directed at her boyfriend. 

Woke up to learn that love is free! Thank you to all those who fought so hard to make this historic moment happen.

Let’s use this victory as a reminder to keep pushing for equality on every frontier. We have the power!

Dunham and her boyfriend, Bleachers‘ frontman Jack Antonoff, have been dating since 2012. The „Girls“ star has been vocal about not planning to wed Antonoff until marriage was made legal for everyone in the U.S., including her sister Grace, who is gay.

„[T]he idea of having a celebration that can’t be fully shared among all the people in my life and all the people that we love just doesn’t really feel like a celebration at all,“ she told Ellen Degeneres in March. „So, until that’s something that everyone can join into with no sense of being left out on any level, politically, emotionally, it’s just not something that we’re gonna do.“ 

 On Friday, with SCOTUS voting 5-4 to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide, a Dunham-Antonoff wedding became a lot more possible. 

Other stars have expressed similar sentiments about holding off on marriage in support of same-sex couples, like Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard, and Charlize Theron. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt also said they’d wait, but wound up saying „I do“ last year. 

Lena Dunham Celebrates Gay Marriage Ruling, Tells Jack Antonoff 'Get On It'

Lena Dunham won’t wed until gay marriage is legal

‚Girls‘ star Lena Dunham insists she will not wed until gay marriage is legalised across every state in America and her lesbian sister Grace has the same rights as her.

Lena Dunham won’t get married until gay marriage is legalised across the US.

The ‚Girls‘ star is very happy in her relationship with FunJack Antonoff – who she was rumoured to have got engaged to following an Instagram post of a ring – and she sometimes thinks about tying the knot but she’s adamant she will not walk down the aisle until her lesbian sister Grace has the same legal right to wed as she does anywhere in America.

In an interview with the new issue of Grazia magazine, Lena said: “It’s really important for us to wait, because we both have a lot of gay friends and the idea of skipping ahead of them doesn’t feel good to us.

“I don’t want to do something my gay sister, Grace, can’t do in a number of states.“

Lena and Jack sparked speculation they had got engaged after posting a photo of her wearing a ring on her wedding finger, and she admits her and Jack’s pals were disappointed when she told them she wasn’t a bride-to-be.

She said: “It’s a friendship ring, one of a stack of three that Jenni Konner [co-writer] and I have collected over the last four years.

“Jack’s friends were texting, ‚Congratulations on the big news.‘ Finally I had to say something because soon people were going to start getting offended that they weren’t invited to our non-existent wedding.“

Although marriage is occasionally on her mind, Lena, 28, insists having a wedding isn’t high on her list of priorities.

She said: “There are lots of things I’m obsessed with, but marriage isn’t my be-all and end-all.“

Lena Dunham won't wed until gay marriage is legal

Lena Dunham Roxane Gay Essay

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Lena Dunham Roxane Gay Essay

Lena Dunham apologises after critics accuse her of sexually molesting sister

Girls creator says she is ‘dismayed’ by interpretation of childhood behaviour, described in her memoir, as abuse

Lena Dunham, the creator of the hit television series Girls, has issued an apology after being attacked in the US for passages in her recently released memoir which critics have said amount to the sexual abuse of her younger sister.

Dunham, 28, who this week cancelled a planned appearance at book events in Antwerp and Berlin, initially struck a defiant tone after parts of the book, Not That Kind of Girl, were highlighted by the right-wing press.

The passages cited include one that describes an incident when Dunham was seven and her sister was one and playing on the driveway. Dunham writes that “curiosity got the best” of her and she opened her sister’s vagina only to call for her mother when she found the toddler had “six or seven pebbles in there”.

“My mother didn’t bother asking why I had opened Grace’s vagina,” Dunham wrote. “This was within the spectrum of things that I did.”

In another passage that has attracted critics she describes trying to persuade her sister to “kiss her on the lips for five seconds” by offering gifts of sweets or coins. “Basically, anything a sexual predator might do to woo a small suburban girl, I was trying,” wrote Dunham.

The website Truth Revolt, which says its mission is to “unmask leftists in the media for who they are” wrote that the book sees Dunham describe “using her little sister at times essentially as a sexual outlet”.

Kevin Williamson in National Review wrote that there is “no non-horrific interpretation” of the episode with the stones. Dunham’s parents, he said, “were, in their daughter’s telling, enablers of some very disturbing behaviour that would be considered child abuse in many jurisdictions”.

Dunham initially took to Twitter in what she described as a “rage spiral”.

“The right-wing news story that I molested my little sister isn’t just LOL – it’s really fucking upsetting and disgusting. And by the way, if you were a little kid and never looked at another little kid’s vagina, well, congrats to you,” she wrote.

“Usually this is stuff I can ignore but don’t demean sufferers, don’t twist my words, back the fuck up bros. I told a story about being a weird seven-year-old. I bet you have some too, old men, that I’d rather not hear … Sometimes I get so mad I burn right up.”

But Dunham has now released a more conciliatory statement, in which she says she is “dismayed over the recent interpretation of events described in my book Not That Kind of Girl”.

“First and foremost, I want to be very clear that I do not condone any kind of abuse under any circumstances,” wrote Dunham. “Childhood sexual abuse is a life-shattering event for so many, and I have been vocal about the rights of survivors. If the situations described in my book have been painful or triggering for people to read, I am sorry, as that was never my intention.”

She added she was “also aware that the comic use of the term ‘sexual predator’ was insensitive, and I’m sorry for that as well”.

“As for my sibling, Grace, she is my best friend, and anything I have written about her has been published with her approval,” concluded the statement.

Dunham’s lawyers have also written to Truth Revolt demanding an apology and threatening legal action. The letter,

obtained by the Hollywood Reporter, sees Dunham’s lawyer write that the article “is false, fabricated, and has the obvious tendency to subject my client to ridicule, and to injure her in her occupation”.

Truth Revolt’s Ben Shapiro, editor-in-chiefwrote that “we refuse to withdraw our story or apologise for running it, because quoting a woman’s book does not constitute a ‘false’ story, even if she is a prominent actress and leftwing activist. Lena Dunham may not like our interpretation of her book, but unfortunately for her and her attorneys, she wrote that book – and the First Amendment covers a good deal of material she may not like.”

Dunham tweeted at the weekend: “I wish my sister wasn’t laughing so hard” about the situation. Grace Dunham has also now defended her sister. She tweeted: “Heteronormativity deems certain behaviours harmful, and others ‘normal’; the state and media are always invested in maintaining that … As a queer person: I’m committed to people narrating their own experiences, determining for themselves what has and has not been harmful,” and that “2day, like every other day, is a good day to think about how we police the sexualities of young women, queer, and trans people”.

Fellow writers have also come to Dunham’s defence. The author Emily Gould wrote on Salon that “Williamson fixated on a few details in the book that, divorced from context and from any understanding of how humour and writing work, made it possible for many well-meaning people to take seriously Williamson’s claim that Dunham had ‘sexually abused’ her younger sister Grace”.

“Imputing predatory motives to a seven-year-old girl and assigning a role of victim to her sister, who apparently doesn’t feel victimised in the slightest … seems more predatory and abusive than anything that Dunham describes in the book, which also includes descriptions of masturbating in bed next to her sleeping sister (who hasn’t?) and bribing her with candy for kisses (come on),” wrote Gould, advising: “If you’re on the fence about whether Dunham is an ‘abuser’, you should probably read her book, and not a right-wing blogger’s cherry-picked version of its contents.”.

Author and Guardian columnist Roxane Gay, meanwhile, blogged: “There is a great distance between thinking LENA DUNHAM IS A CHILD MOLESTER and thinking, yeah, inspecting her sister’s vagina seems like an awesome choice.

“There are multiple places within that distance,” she continued, “and I stand in that place where I think the shit is weird, it makes me uncomfortable, but I understand why the information was disclosed in the memoir, and it did not diminish my experience of reading the book or my opinion of Dunham as a talented but flawed young woman,” wrote Gay, adding that the Truth Revolt blog and Williamson on National Review “were using Dunham’s words, but they were doing so utterly without context and here, context very much matters”.

“People want Dunham to perform acts of contrition but I am not at all clear on what those acts of contrition should look like. I don’t feel like Dunham owes me or anyone outside of her circle of family and friends, anything,” wrote Gay. “I don’t understand the assumption that Dunham published this memoir without her sister’s consent. That simply didn’t happen. If Grace is okay with these disclosures, that’s good enough for me.”

Actress tells Howard Stern, „My sister’s gay and it just doesn’t feel good to me to do something she can’t do“

Things with Lena Dunham and boyfriend Jack Antonoff are getting serious, but they’re not exactly planning to walk down the aisle just yet.

The Girls star, who recently moved in with her fun. beau, agreed that things between the duo are heating up while talking to Howard Stern, and told the SiriusXM radio host, „He’s my life partner.“

Hmm, life partner? Her choice of words prompted Stern to ask Dunham if they’re against getting married, and although she clarifies that they’re definitely not opposed to tying the knot, certain political things have to happen first in order for them to take that leap.

„We’re not against marriage, but I wanna wait until it’s something—my sister’s gay and it just doesn’t feel good to me to do something she can’t do,“ Dunham explains. „She can do it in some places but not all places.“ (There are currently 19 states that have legalized gay marriage.)

Kinda reminds us of two other famous lovebirds that we know (except they ultimately couldn’t wait).

Regardless of putting any potential wedding plans on hold, Dunham couldn’t help but gush about her main squeeze, making note of the fact that they give each other just enough space to create.

„There’s a room in our house where he goes and makes music. We were living in a studio apartment when I wrote [her new] book and he made his album…,“ Lena began. „He goes into a room and doodles around on a keyboard and comes out and made magical things.“

But with their busy schedules, the pair still try to see each other regularly. „We met and the day after we were apart for three months and so our relationship was sort of formed long distance, like that’s what I became used to. But now, for the most part, we see each other…we try not to be apart for more than a week or two.“

Dunham adds, „I feel the more I’m alone, the more I turn into this rageful, hardened-shell of a woman…I never get the feeling of like, ‚Oh I wanna go out and’—I can curse on this show?—I’m never like, ‚I wanna go out and f–k little boys…I wanna stay in and re-read Madame Bovary and never speak to anyone again. My boyfriend is definitely the person who prevents me from doing that.“


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Boyfriend, Married, or Husband?

Lena is at the peak of her filmography career as an actress, writer, and director. However, as for her personal life, she has been in a relationship with Jack Antonoff from 2012 to December 2017. In a statement, she said the separation was amicable.

After that relationship, she was seen with a mysterious guy in Los Angeles. The duo was spotted publicly in July 2018. However, there is no confirmation if they still see each other or not.

As of 2018, Lena is making the news for apologizing to actress Aurora for publicly getting in the dispute about her being sexually assaulted by Murray Miller. As per , Lena told that she had lied about Miller’s innocence and she did it because Miller is very close to her. However, Lena admitted she made the inexcusable mistake by publicly speaking for Miller’s defense.

Election Speech at DNC and Reaction to Trump

Lena Dunham decided she wanted a special gift from her parents, perhaps Lena felt they had taken to long in giving her another privilege after propping up her tired and poorly written TV series. It could be a need to score more progressive points after pretending a football player of minority descent eye raped her. So she got up with a Rent-A-Hispanic friend… Sorry, some chick from a kids movie about dragons and gave a particularly heartwarming speech at the DNC. Lena’s speech was more like an uninspired list of various groups Trump was allegedly racist against.

America: And I’m America Ferrera and according to Donald Trump, I’m probably a rapist. 

However, Lena’s saga in the political world of the 2016 election found new lulz when Lena decided to write the most self oblivious article; a tear jerking story featuring detailed depictions of her and the castrated excuse for a boyfriend crying more on three occasions. The way it is worded includes self victimizing language that makes you almost think she was describing a sexual assault. The irony is this is titled „Don’t Agonize, Organize“.

I hugged the women I had spent eighteen months with, laughing and plotting and spreading our love for Hillary Clinton and her message. My party dress felt tight and itchy.

By the time we’d made it over the bridge, a friend called. „It’s over,“ she said. „I love you.“ I was frozen. We stopped at the diner. No one was speaking as they ate, no one in the whole place.

At home I got in the shower and began to cry even harder. My boyfriend, who had already wept, watched me as I mumbled incoherently, clutching myself. „It wasn’t supposed to go this way. It was supposed to be her job. She worked her whole life for the job. It’s her job.“

Over the year and a half I worked on the campaign, I received threats and abuse at a level I could not have imagined. My Twitter mentions went from rude to downright violent. My phone was hacked, and I was sent images of aborted fetuses, weapons. I was called a fat whore, a retard, told I should be killed in front of everyone who knew me. My experience mimics that of so many women who organized for Hillary Clinton and against Donald Trump, most of them not celebrities. We wanted a female president. We wanted guaranteed control over our own bodies. We wanted equal pay. That made us nasty. That made us targets.

But we kept going, thinking these were the dying moans of the dragon known as the patriarchy being stabbed again and again in the stomach. We believed that on November 9, they’d be licking their wounds while we celebrated. It is painful on a cellular level knowing those men got what they wanted, just as it’s painful to know you are hated for daring to ask for what is yours. It’s painful to know that white women, so unable to see the unity of female identity, so unable to look past their violent privilege, and so inoculated with hate for themselves, showed up to the polls for him, too. My voice was literally lost when I woke up, squeaky and raw, and I ached in the places that make me a woman, the places where I’ve been grabbed so carelessly, the places we are struggling to call our own. 


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Lena the Feminazi

Lena’s most prominent personality trait is rabid feminism. Lena believes that Republicans are evil and are all a part of a conspiracy to destroy her. She has an unhealthy obsession with abortions and spent much of her time trying to get people to vote for Obama using embarrassing videos of her dancing around like a retard with lil the tip of the iceberg.

She also said that you shouldn’t date Republicans because they are literally Nazis,insane rants to random fans with semi-nakedshe won’t get married until gay marriage is legalized (although that one might have been a way to mask the fact no one wants her), went on a rampage about hiphop like it’s the 90s while citing examples of sexist songs that don’t contain sexism, tried to use the midterm elections to convince her fans to use them to get rid of anyone who isn’t a feminist and finally…

Yep, that’s right. Lenda Dunham encourages her fans to harass women online, but only if they do it to punish them for not being final stop for the crazy train (thus far) was when she said she’s disappointed that she isn’t a lesbian (gets in the way of man-hating), but happy that her sister is. However, her sister might only be a lesbian because Lena has been raping her since she was a baby (more on that later).

Hilariously, Diane Keaton (understandably) mistook her for a lesbian at first glance.

Lena: „Jews = Dogs“

After telling everyone that Conservatives = Nazis, it was time for another Dunham math lesson. This time: Jews = Dogs.

Dunham published a quiz in the NY times where you guess if she’s talking about her jewish boyfriend or a dog (you can probably imagine what dating Lena must be like) and compares jews to woman-hating, blood-sucking vampires. Even though this was the first time in history something Lena said was ADL got butthurtlulz were had by all.

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