In English when a man is in a relationship with another man, he can say he’s his boyfriend. In German, saying „Freund“ when both are of the same sex is usually understood to mean the equivalent of „friend“, not implying a relationship. Same goes for women.
List of terms for gay in different languages
This is a list of terms which are widely used today to refer to „Faggot“ in different languages related to homosexuality (e.g. the words „gay“ or „pederast“) or its common stereotypes. Their original meanings are also given.
5 Answers 5
Basically there is no distinction, which sometimes makes it difficult to understand.
So when I say Das ist meine Freundin it’s not obvious whether she is my girlfriend or just a friend.
Usually people then say something like Das ist eine Freundin (von mir) for the 2nd case.
Concerning the same sex – a colleague of mine is homosexual and when I speak of his Freund it’s not obvious for others that I mean his boyfriend.
A boyfriend could be called »fester Freund«, a girlfriend »feste Freundin«.
There is also the term Partner (Partnerin) or, to clarify that it’s not a business partner, Lebenspartner (Lebenspartnerin).Another term is Lebensgefährte (Lebensgefährtin).
The only correct answer is: no. Both friend and boyfriend are „Freund“ in German, and this often causes confusion.
German does not have a single word for this – and in fact, this isn’t as easy to express as in english.
most people will assume its your boyfriend/girlfriend.
then most people will understand its just a friend, not your boyfriend/girlfriend.
So the difference is in mein(e)/ein(e), which makes it a bit hard to grasp.
With same-sex relationships, its not that easy. Most people will simply not assume you are gay/lesbian, unless you came out to them before.
You can, however, use other terms to refer to your boyfriend/ young people (teens mostly) will prefer „Freund(in)“, adults often use Partner(in) or Lebensgefährt(e/in) to describe their romantic works very well for same-sex partnerships, too, and is in fact what I’d recommend using. If a male person introduces someone as his „Lebengefährte“, its quite damn clear what he meant. No confusions. Same applies for female and „Lebensgefährtin“.
Its also clear if you talk about other persons. If you have a gay friend and talk about his „Lebensgefährte“, everyone will understand. If you talk about his „Freund“, not so much.
As a gay man who has close German relatives I refer to my boyfriend with them (so for introductions or clarification) as Liebesfreund (implying a romantic relationship) versus referring to male friends of mine as ein Freund.
“I Do Not Understand!” – Getting Out Of Sticky Situations
It might seem a little intimidating to speak German, especially if you’re new to the language. German people will be understanding if you’re struggling to get your message across or catch what they say.
At the same time, don’t hesitate to use these expressions to help the conversation run smoothly if you don’t understand something or need a little help.
Hello I met a german on the dating site, it was great in the begining. But now he really doesn’t have time for me. He will buy me anything that I need and want, and give me money. He is living with me, but he is not romantic at all. He don’t celebrate no holidays like valentines day, he didn’t even celebrate my birthday with me always working. And chatting with different woman online, but sneaky about it. A couple of days ago I look on his phone and seen that he and another female were exposing themselves to each other on video chat. But he denied it and it was staring me right in my face. I would tell him that it is over and he would say that I am not going anywhere. He wants to know who I am talking to on my phone everytime it rings. He always telling me that he loves me and texting me that to. I don’t really understand german men but would like to no more, because I am african american. Sometimes my heart can’t take him, and sometimes I can.
Are really most (if not all) German guys like this? Is helpful for me, as I’ll be moving there soon.
Hi thereI met this wonderful german guy, we are pretty much in tune, but totally virtual still. He sent me pictures of his parents, brother and sister. He keeps talking about us in the future together , so romantic.. Somehow I belive him, so far it has been just dreams, future planning and all.. We didn’t exchange phone numbers yet.. It seems to me that he has been extra careful,,, He is 52 divorced and I am latin 63 … lol .. I don’t know what to think and I am so in love and he appears to be too… Is that normal?
Hey i Hope it works out for you & yes it is totally normal!!
Great to hear dear… you konw till now i haven’t date the German guy… remain like dreams only . wish i could have a german lifepatner..
Hi, i was dating with German around 8 th months. Dues to covid19 situation all relationships were based on phone calls and messages, on July I have visited him, But when I came back again after 1 week, he could not meet with him because of his work, and now one week ge doesnt answer to me. I thought that they are honest and if he doesnt want any realtionship he will tell me. He is very busy with his work, but is it normal just disappear like that? Last message nothing about relatioships, just that he has to work…
Hope both of you work out now… covid situation does make long-distance relationships even more difficult than it should.
How to say gay in English
Below are the words of our English Gay Dictionary that we will expand in new editions. But first some information about the language and this dictionary.
English is an Indo-European language spoken by over 500 million people and is official in more than 80 countries and territories. The national varieties of English, as well as Polari slang or Cockney rhyming slang, create specific words from particular regions and others that travel from one place to another while retaining its meaning or exchanging it for another similar or radically different.
Most of the words are from the 19th and 20th centuries, but some date back to the 17th century, so you can find words that are no longer used, but all are useful to unravel how humanity has been linked to the homosexual behavior. There are also current expressions which, with time, we will expand.
The majority of the terms are originally created by straight people, so somehow expressed contempt and hostility that fear of homosexual behavior produced and continues producing, although in many cases the passage of time has been erased all that negativity and ended up being incorporated into normal speech and even into LGBT vocabulary.
Following the classification of Professor William A. Percy we can relate the terms and expressions of our English Gay Dictionary in 4 groups:
3) For effeminate men. The patriarchal feminization, in addition to turning homosexual men into women, by a puerile but tenacious psycho-biological determinism, transfers the worst stereotyped characteristics of women to gay men for the simple fact of being.
To which we have considered interesting add two more groups:
5) The jargon of the gay community, which often is extremely brutal and other rather funny.
6) The jargon of male prisons, that somehow shows the sexual plasticity of men.
The words and expressions of our English Gay Dictionary have been obtained from many different sources, but unlike many of these sources, which are copies from one another, each of the items has been analyzed, investigated, contrasted and expanded within the possibilities. During the making of this dictionary, we have met with the revealing, extensive and excellent work of William Percy, professor at the University of Massachusetts-Boston, that is collected in the magnificent and extensive Encyclopedia of homosexuality, not quoted as a source but rather as an approach.
great queen. 70s expression of the prison slang for who wears a more feminine look as possible, with shaved legs and plucked eyebrows, etc. This same phenomenon we have seen today, for example, in Latin America prisons, where the transformation of a gay man in a woman may suppose some protection and even survival. Modern prisons in the more developed countries, with vis-à vis-protocols, allow men to have sex with women. The question is whether, although undercover, homosexual behavior still roam freely or not in modern prisons.
it is the first of our expressions with this meaning. Pirate, bandit, thief, rider, kicker… of ass. Although it is a term used in the 80s in gay bashing, Anal buckaneer refers to the active (top) role in sexual relations, that in some sense is masculine and virile, and is opposed, for example, to Ass boy (one man reduced to a single part of his body, the ass, made available to anyone who wants to fuck him), that in the same way serve to insult gays but would establish a different category, because a boy is less manly than a buccaneer or a bandit. Despite as faggot is the top as the bottom, insults let us read between the lines, that the classical systems of homosexual behavior, the teacher-pupil and master-slave, still in force today, so expressions for top gay are less derogatory than the expressions for bottoms.
in this expression, used to insult gays and more specifically to bottoms, two important issues in gay slang come together. On the one hand we have the issue of youth, associated with the passive (bottom) role in sex inherited from Greek master-pupil system, and secondly the loss of masculinity or feminization also associated with the passive role, which it is produced by the reduction of the person to the only usefull, his ass, just as happens with women who are reduced to their pussy. This fact is reinforced with other related expressions such as Boy-Pussy or Gash, where the passive role in sex, femininity and female prostitution are related.
used to call middle-aged or elderly gay men. Some suggest that Aunt(ie) was initially slang of madam, or old prostitute who ran a brothel, producing, as in many cases, a semantic transition from prostitute to homosexual man. It can also be used to call a lesbian who is a mentor or protective of a homosexual man.
Variations Aunty, Auntie, Aunt fancy, Aunt Mame, Aunt Mathilda.
Synonyms Chin-strap, Old man, DOM (Dirty old man), Fallen star, Fallen woman, Flea bagger, Fleadum (60’s, probably a variant of Fleadoom, a brand of flea), Fleet bagger, Geritol set (Geritol is a famous brand of multivitamins), Grandma, Gray lady, Grimm’s fairy, Old girl, Old goat, Old hen, Old one, Old thing, Old queen, Old queer, Pruneperson, Rancid flower, Soiled senior citizen, Weel-chair set. These expressions indicate that, regrettably, in the gay world, youth is a treasure and old age a crime.
Related Ginch, Hump, Kife, Twidget, Skippy. All related to the sense of slut, bad woman, prostitute, etc, that have been used to insult gay people.
The meaning of Aunt Mame is aunt mom and is used to name middle-aged gay men. This expression is related to the 1958 film “Auntie Mame”, in which a middle-aged woman takes care of her orphaned nephew, educating him by extravagant lifestyle. A film with many signs to the gay audience, as you can see in the frame below, becoming an icon, which got through censorship, and has several Academy Award nominations and winning a pair of Golden Globes.
A frame of the film Auntie Mame in which you can see two cross-dressing women, two Kesser Vater.
Term from Jamaica, derived from the word bottom that has the meaning of passive, used to name pejoratively to homosexuals. Also translated as crazy or crackpot. In Jamaica homosexuality is punishable by imprisonment for men and totaly legal for women, but beatings and death are for twice. Word used in USA. Derogatory intention.
expression of the gay jargon used to name Mexican homosexuals. Also used to name the Drag Queen of Latin origin, as well as homosexual men who like Latin men.
Synonyms Carmen Carmencita, Freejack, Freecat, Hot enchilada, Hot tamale, Joto, Mexicali Rose, Miss Morales, Senoreater (the Spanish word “señorita” pronounced by an American), Spanish Rose, South-of-the-border tart (of the late 60s), Tijuana queen, Taco queen.
The literal translation of the expression Beard lady would be Miss Beard, and it is an expression of the gay jargon used to name women used by homosexual men as reinforcement of masculinity to avoid suspicions about their homosexuality.
expression used in the late 19th century to appoint gay men, which origin is in the same British slang expression to appoint women prostitutes. Female prostitution is also present at the origin of many insults for homosexuals, especially with passive sexual role, because many of the terms, related to prostitution, for attacking women, are used to insult gay men because they are considered as the worst kind of women. Some argue that such common words as “Gay”, “Fag” and “Faggot”, in a previous slang, had the sense of sexually dissolute women, promiscuous, libertine, etc.
bathroom Queen. Gay slang expression for calling those who frequent the baths and public wc looking for sexual encounters. Oddly enough there was a time when there was no Internet, or the Grindr, nor Bender nor Wapo … and men meet men for sex as they could. Public toilets of the train and bus stations and also public parks became really torrid places. In the United States, for example, there were policemen who insinuate other men in these places to catch and arrest homosexuals.
Synonyms Bathsheba (composition between bathroom and Sheba to create a name reminiscent of the Queen of Sheba), Ghost (50s, ghost, because they wander the corridors of the bathroom).
is a widely used word to define the preferred sex role to the case of passive gays. Passive gays are those that are penetrated in sexual intercourse.
Synonyms Bang (mid 60s in Los Ángeles), Bender, Brownie queen, Browning queen, Browning-sister, Bum boy, Passive partner, Bottomless pool, Boy-pussy, Boy-snatch, Boy-cunt, Bronc, Bronk, Gash, Gentleman pussy, Jere, Mustard-pot, Nooky, Opened up, Peg boy (In the 19th century in the brothels, they forced the boys to sit on a stake to dilate the anus), Punk (the meaning is callow youth, the youth related with the passive role in sex. In prison slang, it could also mean prostitute and who is constantly oppressed and violated), Pussy, Sea-pussy, Sister, Spread, Tailbone, Wife.
this word could be interpreted as “wild colt that needs to be tamed.” Related to homosexuality could refer to a young and inexperienced guy, requiring dressage by a man through anal sex.
Buff Tied is a guy who is very fit, handsome, hot, fuckable and fabulous, all in one, but seems to be derogatory. It could be a variant of the Scottish word “Bufty” used to insult gays, probably because it also has the meaning of coward.
expression of the 30s to appoint an effeminate gay man. It is also the name of a flower. But we do not know if its relationship with homosexuality comes from the flower and its relation with femininity, or from one of its literal meaning, cup of butter, relating the cup with the ass, or also from its relation with the butt, slang of ass.
The slang Butterfly could have several meanings, effeminate homosexual or act so effeminate, and also is used to name the bottom in the anal intercourse. The butterfly is often associated with male homosexuality, as with the case of the Spanish language with the words Mariposa (Butterfly) and Mariposón (Big butterfly).
animal or chicken castrated. The lack of testicles has always been related to the lack of virility and the inability to have children, issues that have traditionally been assigned to gay or effeminate men.
dismissal from the army for homosexuality. The participation of gay men in the United States Army has always been controversial. Recently, in 2011, ended the directive “don’t ask, don’t tell” that banned homosexuality in the army, but also ask, inquire and tell.
Variations Donald duck, Green discharge, Blue discharge.
man, gay or not, who dresses as a woman to perform different spectacle types, dressing and acting in a manner exaggeratedly feminine. Although it may seem a purely frivolous issue, there is a background, not always conscious, which aims to make fun of dichotomous notions of gender and sexual roles in society and culture. And there is not only drag queens, but there are other types such as Drag King (woman who dresses and acts like a man in an exaggerated way), Drag Princess (Young drag queen), Drag Butch (woman who dresses and acts like a man without caricature), as well as Faux Queen and Faux King,that are the people who dress and act caricaturing its own genre.
Related Bag lady (ugly or unpleasant Drag Queen), Barbie (foolish Drag Queen), Bean Queen, Bone smuggler, DQ (acronym), San Francisco clones (expression of the gay jargon to name the Drag Queens or very masculine lesbians).
effeminate diminutive of the word used to insult men or boys who are. Most insults for gay men fall into the categories of male passivity and effeminacy, involving the lack or waiver of one’s masculinity. By contrast, the terms for homosexuals with active (top) sexual role, rarely involve the loss of femininity or masculinity, which could reinforce the idea that homosexual behavior is more abundant than it might seem, considering that insults for active (top) men in anal intercourse generally have a radically different tone and instead of being “like women” are bandits, pirates, buccaneers, thieves, etc.
it is widely known that when there are restrictions on sex with women, men tend to show homosexual behavior, as in prisons. This is possible thanks to pluripotency or plasticity of sexuality. However facultative homosexuality express the idea that a hererosexual man can show homosexual inclinations and have sexual desire for a man and act accordingly, and after his release from prison back to his heterosexual life. This remains a sublimation, because excuse homosexual behavior, in the sense that men have homosexual relationships because they have no choice, as if it were a lesser evil instead a human capacity. It remains to be seen, in this return to heterosexuality, if not actually is the beginning of a bisexual life.
expression that appears in the 20s to point to an effeminate gay man or boy. Some authors suggest that this slang comes from a previous slang and that relates women with prostitution because in origin fag means sexually dissolute, promiscuous, libertine woman, etc. So by converting gay men in poor women, they would be converted in turn into whores. Fag also means cigarette and hard work.
Variations Fagateeny (80s, also for gay teen), Faggot, Fagg, Fagot, Faggotry, Faggoty, Faggy.
Related Fag hag, Fag stag, Fag bag (woman married to a gay man).
woman who likes to be with and date gay men. The word “hag” means old, ugly, witch woman, giving the sense of a single woman who dates with queers. An entirely different hue with the similar expression for men, Fag Stag.
recent coined term to name the straight man who likes the company of gay people. Stag is the male of any animal species, specifically deer. As you may notice, when the idea comes to a woman it is a ugly woman, and when it comes to a man is a male. The claw of patriarchy comes to all places and collectives.
The meaning of the word faggot is firewood, cigarette and also it is used to name a heavy work. It is one of the most used words to name homosexual men around the world. The origin of this slang may be that it was the symbol of heretics, marked with fire in their skin in the Middle Ages in the United Kingdom (the heretics were never executed at the stake in the United Kingdom). However, the first appearance as a slang for homosexual man is located in the United States. Check our post from Gay Slang Collection to learn more about this well-known and international expression.
T-shirt with the Faggot drawing. You can purchase it in our online stores.
a flip-collar is one of the complements of priests clothing, weared in the neck. This expression from gay jargon refers to a homosexual priest and even a pedophile or pederast priest.
Flip-flop is an expression of gay slang indicating that a person is bisexual or versatile in their sexual relationships, as people commonly use it to describe a radical change, a 180-degree change, or a change of heart. This could indicate the misunderstanding that the bisexual community suffers within the gay community. Flip-flop has another meaning, also from gay slang, to refer to the exchange of top and bottom roles in gay intercourse, as you can see if you look for this expression on any porn website.
today means to make gay sex. It could be an anagram of the word Poof, meaning effeminate or homosexual man, and in this sense it was used in Australia in the early 20th century, and in the 70s in the United States in the sphere of male colleges.
Its the most universal and internationally way to name homosexual men, that is, men who show inclination towards erotic and emotional relationship with individuals of the same sex.
paradigmatic expression used for appointing a homosexual man, especially for effeminate ones and also with passive (bottom) sexual role.
The key to understanding the large number of expressions for passive (bottom) or effeminate gays is the supposed reversal of gender and sex roles when someone takes, or seems to have, a behavior considered “natural” or “appropriate” for the opposite sex.
According to this Manichean scheme, a homosexual with passive (bottom) sexual role should be in some sense, a woman; even a man who is raped is considered to have lost their manhood and in fact becomes a woman. Many slang terms for passive homosexual personify directly as a vagina or anus (Gash, Boy-pussy, Bumboy); Another common procedure is to use a word that has female reference as is the use of a woman’s name (Mary,Pansy, Marjery); or can be any of the large number of words commonly used for women (fem, bich, wife); or else a word that refers to the stereotypical female behavior (limp-wrist, flit, swish).
as we have found, truckers called gays with this expression, but it is also used outside that sector. The literal interpretation would be “silly kisser”, which could refer to the contrast between the hardness of truck drivers and gays, however “goober” in sailor’s slang means cock, so the sense of Goober Smoocher could be to “cock-sucker” very enthusiastic or applied.
King is an expression of gay jargon appeared in San Diego in the late 60s, to name masculine gay people, active (top) in anal intercourse and even butch lesbians.
T-shirt with the Khing design of the Thai Gay Dictionary, with the same meaning as the English King. You can purchase it in our online stores.
archaic medical term for homosexuality. Years ago, a lack of understanding of homosexuality made various forms of sexual diversity were confused, so often homosexuals were called hermaphrodites.
Related Morphodite, Morphydite, Morphrodite, y Moffie (South Africa) are all variations (corruptions) of the word hermaphrodite.
walk, move or act with affected elegance. Mince in a sense corresponds to the stereotype of the gait of homosexuals, so usually this word is related to homosexuality, even within the gay community, as in Cape Town (South Africa), which can be used to name passive homosexuals. Mince may also correspond to the stereotyped way of moving of the women, so this could also be the origin of the slang.
Loan expression of the Spanish language with Latin American origin to name homosexual men. The word Pato were used to call clumsy men, boobies, teased, etc., negative characteristics that always have been led to gay men and is, in this process of identifying, where is the origin of this expression to insult gays in Latin America, which use has spread to other countries.
The Pato drawing printed on a white t-shirt. You can purchase it in our online stores.
prim, prudish, puritanical. Are stereotyped ways of how women are, applied to gay men.
Variations Prissy queen (gay jargon expression to appoint a snooty gay, prim, snob, etc.)
Related Limp-Wrist, Broken-wrist, Flit, Mince, Swish
The neutral word queer, derived from the German “que” that means twisted, deviant, not acquired overtly sexual connotations until 1920, when was commonly used to refer homosexuals. “Queer” enjoyed great popularity among gay men who took it to define themselves until 1930, when it began to spread the use of the word gay. (Explanation from the book “El Laberinto Queer” by Susana Lopez Penedo).
literally it means to swagger, show off. A term used to name the passive (bottom) homosexual or who acts in feminine way. Derived from the type of movement in ballet, the chassé, which became very popular from 1836 by the success of a group dance, the “square-dance” in which one of the movements was the chassé, which ended pronounced as sashay. One way to move or walk associated with male homosexuality.
expression of the black community in the 20s, to refer to the lover who maintains his girl, which is especially young. Over time, this expression becomes also used by the LGBT community, either gay or Tomboy lesbians.
Synonyms Angel, Papa gâteau (cake dad, French expression with the same meaning), Santa Claus.
expression of the 30s from the scope of the male schools, to indicate that someone was gay, because the word Fag has 3 letters, and comes from the custom of qualifying or reward with letters, sporting or academic achievements.
very used expression to define the preferred role sex in anal intercourse for the case of active men. Active gay is who fucks other.
Synonyms Active, Arse-king, Arse Bandit, Ass bandit, arse-burglar, Ass raider, Back-door man, Backgammoner, Bang artist (Bang is the bottom, the passive in anal intercourse), Biscuit-bandit (cake is jargon of anus), BK (Acronym used in ads in United Kingdom), Bodyguard (the late 60), Booty-bandit (booty means little ass), Boretto ma (little bore), Boring a bud (drill), Bottle opener), Brown artist (mid-60s, brown are faeces), Brown hatter (mid-60), Brownie king (United Kingdom), Bucket (it comes from slang for ass or from a type of destroyer ship), Buey, Bugger, Buggerantoes, Bum-fugger, Bummer, Bun-bandit, Bunny cake, Deadeye dick, Dirt tamper (40s, ass saboteur), Dirt-track rider, Dung-pusher, Eye doctor (where it is the eye of the ass), Forty-niner (Name who received the first searchers in the gold rush, which in the 40s was used for active gays), Gander, Gonif (thief, scoundrel, swindler), Gooser (50s, which touches the ass), Greek, Gut-reamer (Stretcher intestines), Gut-stretcher (Stretcher intestines), Gut-stuffer (filler intestines), Humper and a pumper (70s, who catch and pump), Inspector of manholes , Keester-bandit (from back), King (late 60s in San Diego), Knight of the golden grummet (golden grummet would be the anus), Miner (mid 60s, Pitch o Pitcher (from baseball), Poo-jabber, Pratt-man (pratt means ass), Pratt-hunter, Rear specialist, Rider, Ring snatcher (ring kidnapper, were ring means anus), Sodomite, Tom fucker (from United Kingdom), Top drawer (first class), Turd-packer (turd is a piece of shit).
term used for a gay man with an uncontrollable sexual desire, which seeks and needs sex constantly. Also it used to call men in prostitution as well as to name among friends.
Synonyms Barbarella (70s), Cheap thing, Chuspanel, Club date, Cruise (from cruising), Delilah, Dirty lay (60s), Dirty thing, Fallen woman, Floozy (slut), Garbage woman, Ginny woman (street woman or wild woman), Ground woman, Gutter limits (limits of obscenity), Hussy (shameless), Jezebel (biblical character who takes her people, Israel, to sexual immorality), Lay of the land, Man trap, Privates investigator (genital investigator), Satyriasis o Satyromania (from satyr, medical term for oversexed), Scarlet woman, Scrub-woman (despicable woman, groped woman), Slut, Swamp woman (stalker woman, Texas 40s), Tart (bitch, in the UK), Thirty-day boy (United Kingdom), Wear a change belt, Wild thing, Working girl, Horndog (dog with a boner).
Your German Guy Will Want to Go on Vacation Together
Most Germans love to travel, and they have a lot of holidays compared to North Americans. If he likes you, he will want to include you in those travel plans. He may even do all the research and pre-trip planning as well as my partner did when we were dating.
You can impress him by showing that you’ve also done your research with these travel tips4 Reasons to Turn a Holiday Romance into the Real Thing.
There’s none of this it’s not me, it’s you. When you’re dating a German man, it’s probably you.
He’ll tell you why he doesn’t like you, or why it’s not working. For better or for worse, you will know where you stand with your German guy.
He will also be honest about whether he likes the gift you’ve just bought him. This is one of the hardest lessons I’ve experienced being an expat in Germany.
You need a thick skin when it comes to dating German men.
German Men Will Plan Dates in Advance
No more waiting until Thursday to see if he’s going to call and ask you out for Friday night. Most German men would never dream of asking a girl out with only one-day notice.
He will ask at least several days in advance, assuming that you have your life planned out in advance as he does.
He’s also likely to ask you to do something based on a shared interest. For example, going on a hike together.
Germans often meet someone from a common interest group, so if you want to date a German, find a hobby group and attend regularly. Dating is a lot like making friends – it takes time.