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Did you scroll all this way to get facts about gay queer men? Well you’re in luck, because here they come. There are 10721 gay queer men for sale on Etsy, and they cost US$22.65 on average. The most common gay queer men material is metal. The most popular color? You guessed it: black.
The V-Spot: Am I Gay/Queer Because of Sexual Trauma?
I’m in my late teens and have identified as gay/queer for the last few years. I have dated/hooked up with a few non-binary folks and trans guys, but they’ve all had vaginas.
Recently I’ve been questioning my orientation. It’s more complicated than simply saying, “Oh hey, I like this (cis) guy, cool.” I was sexually abused as a child. Because of that I have PTSD and an anxiety disorder that makes the idea of being intimate with someone with a penis terrifying — even if I have romantic feelings for them.
I hate the idea that I’m gay because I was raped, but I don’t know if my identifying as gay instead of bisexual or pansexual is because of that. I also sometimes wonder if it’s just my own internalized homophobia (from growing up in a pretty conservative family) and secretly wishing that I was straight.
Do you think it’s worth trying to explore my sexuality further and trying to overcome this fear of intimacy with someone who has a penis? Do you think that’s even possible?
I’m so sorry that you were forced to endure those experiences and that you’ve been left to foot the bill for someone else’s inexcusable behavior. I strongly suggest you work with a good therapist who can help you navigate the symptoms of your PTSD and anxiety disorder and create a safe environment for you to continue to untangle these questions about your sexuality.
It’s natural to have your connection to penises be a negative one given that, that was a part of your abuser’s anatomy. The things that trigger traumatic reactions are often environmental and can be as simple as a sound, a smell, or a time of year. A significant body part used to inflict harm on you certainly can trigger a negative response in you, and understandably so.
On the other hand, the notion that your sexual identity is a symptom of your abuse is stickier to me. And here’s why: We are often not socially prompted to wonder why we might be heterosexual. When it comes to sexual trauma, however, often we are socially prompted to wonder if gayness has been caused by the abuse. Meaning, if I, a woman, was abused by a woman I might be prompted to wonder if I am now gay because of that experience. And also, if I, a woman, was abused by a man, I might STILL be prompted to wonder if I am now gay because of that experience.
So, no matter my abuser, sexual trauma has been linked to “causing gayness.” Why? Because gayness is positioned as an “other,” “damaged” identity rather than one that is naturally occurring just like straightness is naturally occurring. No one has ever asked me “Hmm, do you think you’re straight now because of your abuse history?”
Why are these two things important for you to know as you move forward? Because your triggers (like penises) are something that you can learn to manage with strong therapeutic help. Your sexuality, however, is a fluid entity that is part of who you are, not a symptom of what someone did to you. These big questions you pose are important and absolutely worthwhile to continue to explore outside of what this wee sex column can offer, and I hope you do so keeping this important difference between triggers and sexuality in mind. All are welcome to reach out to me for local therapist recommendations.
The longest running LGBTQ Christian podcast, the first explicitly queer Christian platform, a message reaching around the world, Brian & Fr. Shay have been preaching the good news of the queer gospel since 2013.
Together, they’ve started and broken open conversations around
Gay/queer comfort reads?
Looking for comfort reads with main characters that are gay/trans/queer in some way.
I recently read the House in the Cerulean Sea and I loved it, so I’m hoping for something with a similar vibe. I have Circe on my list already but I would love recommendations for books that have a calming/comfortable vibe.
Preferably geared more towards adults/centering adult characters but I will take good YA recommendations as well. Thank you!
fried green tomatoes is pretty much this. I’d say Kafka on the Shore but its kinda dark, more of a comfort read for me personally but it could be comforting maybe?
Super fun and nice read – features characters of various species (human and alien) and uses this to also encompass a lot of genders/sexualities. Definitely geared towards adults but with the sort of easy-reading vibe of a YA book.
The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern feels like a cup of hot tea on a rainy day.
Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas was a fun read with a heartwarming conclusion (though CW for deadnaming). Another YA novel with a queer MC was You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson.
I don’t tend to enjoy YA but these were exceptions 🙂
Take a Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert was light and entertaining (and very explicit).
Winter’s Orbit, Everina Maxwell; Space Opera with queer romance, set in a completely and refreshing non-homophobic society where everyone is cool with being whatever gender/sex you want to be. It’s also a mystery and whodunnit. I’d say it’s slightly YAish; it started life on the fan-fic site AO3, but it’s sweet, low violence [though some mention of domestic abuse – don’t worry, it’s not graphic] and lots of warm, romantic vibes. Comforting and a happy ending!
The year is 1969. Dick Nixon was just sworn in as the thirty-seventh President of the United States. Neil Armstrong just took one small step for man and one giant leap for mankind. And notable Palm Springs socialite Maxine Simmons just found out that her husband is leaving her for his twenty-two-year-old secretary.
After a public meltdown at Thanksgiving, Maxine finds herself not only divorced, but exiled to Scottsdale, Arizona. However, these desert boondocks will not be her end―only her Elba. The former beauty queen sets her eyes on a new crown: that of the Mrs. American Pie pageant, awarded to the nation’s best wife and mother.
Maxine only has one problem: to win the crown she’ll need to find―or build―a family of her own.
Reasons I should have figured out I was gay sooner
3. I got way to excited when I found out girls could be gay too
5. I only played with boys for most of my childhood
7. The girl I CLEARLY had a crush on when I was 5 (one time I literally asked to kiss her cheek wtf)
8. I didn’t ever realize the fosters was gay until someone pointed it out bc to me it just felt normal
9. I used to say „I wish I was a boy so I could hold girls‘ hands“ at like 4
10. I was wayyyy crazier about Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato than everyone else who was freaking out over the Jonas brothers (who I hated)
So when I was ten years old me, my mom, and some friends went to go see avengers. Everything was going the most beautiful girl I had ever seen showed up on screen aka black widow aka Natasha Romanoff aka Scarlet Johansson.
„Wow she’s so cool! Look at her take down those guys! -why can’t I stop smiling?- she’s sooo pretty! I wish I was her friend so I could hold her hand, and hug her, and kiss -SHIT- am I gay? I think I’ve felt like this before! I AM GAY!“
*turns to my mom with evident fear on my face* *turns back around*
„Nope nope nope“ „that’s a problem for another day“
Then I just fucking forgot! I completely forgot I was gay for THREE years!
Lucas (SKAM France)
Ah, Basile. I am both annoyed by and enamored with the way he is totally, grossly, inappropriately (but in an adorably puppy like way) crushing on Daphne. The scene where he sniffs her hair is adorable. He would totally let her put him on a leash. He thinks she’s absolutely perfect even when she is being completely imperfect and I love it.
@transmeddling tagged us to translate these a while ago, so here we go (screenshots because idk if the OP is big enough that we don’t need to protect their identity):
Gayby: Nonbinary attracted to only other nonbinaries. OR masc enby attracted to guys, which NOT GAY because NB != male.
Gaygay: obsessed with being „gay“ to the point of thinking that it’s a gender due to not understanding what gender is. Probably uses „I’m gay!“ as a replacement for actual personality traits, too.
Gayqueer: Thinking your orientation at all affects your gender. If you think you’re genderqueer because you’re gay, that sounds like internalized homophobia, which can be dealt with in far better ways. That, or someone straight who knows that this is bland to tumblrites and thus says they are „gayqueer.“ Also, and worst of all, has no understanding of color theory.
bachmann: ‘special rights’ for heterosexuals
A recent video posted on the CNN website shows Republican presidential candidate Michell Bachmann duking it out with high school student and GSA leader, Jane Schmidt. I was really impressed by the student’s courage, especially considering that a number of people in the room were applauding Bachmann’s vile apology of intolerance and inequality.
Bachmann’s views on gay marriage have been completely consistent throughout her campaign. They are rooted in two personal convictions she has about homosexuality: 1) it’s un-Christian and 2) homosexuality is a mental illness her husband can cure. These are not just convictions, they are road-blocks to getting her to see homosexuality as anything but sick and sinful. In many other regards (such as vaccinations for HPV) Bachmann is very much libertarian. Questions about homosexuality put forward to her need to be negotiated around these road blocks in order to expose them for what they are: flawed conceptualizations about sexual expression. Her sectarian, monistic view of sexual expression can be easily undermined by pointing out the instability of her idea of what ‘proper’ sexual expression consists in.
Little Jane did just that. She asked ‘what would you do to protect GSAs in high school and support the LGBT community? Of course, Bachmann jumped right on the marriage-train from where she distinguished the right to marry same-sex as a ‘special’ or ‘bonus’ right rather than one that is de facto distributed to everyone. I don’t blame her for not addressing the question directly. It would force her to talk about non-marriage issues, such as stigma, violence, and sexual health. If she kept her anti-homosexuality position when talking about hate-crime, she’d look like a huge bigot. Therefore, it’s prudent to assume that she would actually speak out against hate crime, but this creates other problems for her. Then people would nail her on the ‘special rights’ line of argument, because if she claims that no one deserve special treatment for being LGBT then how can she justify a specific hate crime legislation? Or how could she address issues about stigma and school bullying? Moreover, on Jane’s question about supporting the right to have GSA in high schools, if she agreed with that n grounds of ‘free speech’, then one could also claim that she should agree with gay-marriage on grounds of the universal right to marry.
As the kids point out, Bachmann is actually making heterosexuality out to be the ‘special’ privilege. What a world that would be , huh? Where being heterosexual makes you , if that was actually the case, she would get her head out of her ass and stop making ridiculous assumptions about the incorrigibility of the ‘law of the land’ – such incorrigibility does not seem to persist when she talks about other issues in her campaign.
Gay-Girl-Stereotypen, die nicht mehr zuverlässig sind
Um Sie auf den neuesten Stand zu bringen, hier einige Stereotypen von schwulen Mädchen, die leider nicht mehr zuverlässig sind:
Nun, da Sie auf dem neuesten Stand sind, gehen wir zu den Zeichen, die sind immer noch relevant.
4. Pride Utensilien
Dies ist selbstverständlich, und wenn jemand ein Regenbogen- / Lesben- / Bi- / Pfannenarmband oder eine Anstecknadel trägt, ist er im Allgemeinen seltsam.
Dies ist eine ziemlich sichere Wette, dass sie schwul ist, es sei denn, sie ist eine dieser abscheulichen Verbündeten, die es für cool halten, sich in Stolzutensilien zu ersticken, um fehlgeleitet zu versuchen, ihre Unterstützung für die LGBTQIA + -Community zu zeigen (sie meinen es gut, Gott liebt sie, aber Nein. TU das nicht).
Reviews: Gay/Queer Webcomics
These comics are thoughtful or meaningful contributions to queer webcomics, whether they tried to be or not. Last *updated* 2/20/13.
Summary: A young gay man with fire superpowers is confronted by a sexy older villain- are his come-ons genuine or sinister?
Review: As we’ve seen with Artifice and other yaoi911 projects, we can expect good things from this story, along with a high and consistant level of artwork. Despite the imprint, I’ve always felt that Yaoi911 titles were very little like yaoi and a lot more like gay-colored industry comics, which I think is fantastic because it comes with a lot less baggage.
Summary: Two teenage boys try to repair their broken relationship after coming out to one another and while preparing for life after highschool. One of the boys has the power to talk to cats, but why and how?
Review: Yes, this is MY comic. I wouldn’t have put it here except for the fact that I keep getting suggestions to read it! So here it is. I think it’s good. You’ll probably think it’s good if you so far find my taste in webcomics to be good.
Summary: Two asexual teens, Robbie and Orson, met on the internet, like many teens do in the 2000s. Robbie attends a university in Orson’s hometown, and discovers that the town is a hotbed of fairies and monsters and all kinds of magic and mystery that he is immediately swept up in.
Review: Painted in watercolor, IgZ is a treat for the eyes, and doubles unapologetically as an encyclopedia of sex and gender others wrapped in a modern-day fantasy story. Totally beautiful and creative, it focuses more on the fantasy adventures than the romance, but don’t let that discourage you: Robbie and Orson are adorable, and even more adorable together.
Summary: An emotionally curt amputee and a divorcee afraid of sex fall in love. Together, they attempt to work through the issues keeping the latter from enjoying sex.
Review: 14N can be hard to access for those used to shiny, pretty yaoi- it’s dark and heavy and is not full of beautiful people- it is full of real people. That said, it’s a gorgeous break from the usual world of the gay webcomics and has become one of my favorites. The art is developing and experimental, but solid. The characters are sympathetic and amazing.
Summary: An advanced android’s experience with a homosexual prisoner, as told from his doctor’s psych chair.
Review: Gorgeous artwork at home with a fascinating story. It has a million red flags of cliché, but in the end, subverts them all. It is wholly unique, a fabulously built universe, and features an absorbing main character- even if he is artificial.
Summary: Amal’s got the car and TJ’s got the gas money. The two strangers set out across the country, and get to know one another quite well.
Review: This pencil drawn comic is beautiful. The characterization and writing is real and whimsical and absolutely delicious. The story is immediately absorbing, even if not much is actually happening (but that’s clear in the title, then, isn’t it?) A fun ride, with some fabulously sexy scenes later on. Some absolutely expertly creative pages litter throughout. One of my favorites.
Summary: Boarding school adventures with the not-yet-a-couple oddcouple.
Review: An adorable story with highly lovable characters- not just the alpha couple, but the secondary characters as well (Archie is quite adorable!) The artwork is improving rapidly, but starts out a little shaky. Very engaging. The awkwardness and tension is written very well, and the alliances are very much like high school always felt.
Summary: A very forward gay highschooler searches for sex, finds love.
Review: This is a fun and relaxed story with a fun and relaxed style of art and writing. The main character is a refreshingly straightforward kind of guy– completely oblivious to the fact that he is performing his own personality. You’ll fall in love with these kids and their banter instantly. Set in the mysterious land of Canada!
Summary: Boy acquires magic powers, transformation, and elemental mascot. Joins a band of other elementally magic teenagers to save the earth or something…
Review: A premise that was bound to happen sooner or later, this is the story of a magical boy. The artwork is polished but still young, and the writing is a bit weak, but it may just be a parody of the maho shoujo standard (unfortunately, it’s hard to tell the intention.) But a secondary character in the clan is a very sweet gay boy that you root for absolutely immediately. I want more of him.
Summary: A mercenary prince is sent on a mission to kill the beloved prince of another kingdom. Unfortunately for him, the happy prince has been expecting him, and totally wants to make out. Maybe it’s fortunately after all?
Review: No idea how this comic eluded me for so long, as it is absolutely precious. Cute, fun art and a sweet and silly story, this is gay fun for everyone. The characters are precious and the story, for all it’s lightness, is engaging. Did I mention it’s incapacitatingly adorable?
Summary: Working man comes to new town, rescues a reporter, falls in love.
Review: Somewhat weak in both art and writing, this comic is entertaining none-the-less, and features Conversations of Denial With Penis, one of my favorite gags. The world is not deeply built, but the falling-in-love part is nice and solid and satisfying. Good for a fix.
Summary: Boys falling in love with boys they didn’t think they’d ever fall in love with?
Review: I had a difficult time following this comic. The art sometimes leaves you wondering which character you’re actually looking at, and the story is a little flailing. The first arc is cute but predictable (the characters almost fully formed, but not quite), and after that, it descends into time jumping and beta-couple developing that is hard to understand. But it has quite a following, and is often recommended (so maybe it’s just not to my taste?)
Not finding what you’re looking for? Check the Master Post of Gay Webomic Reviews, or jump right to Slashable Webomic ReviewsYaoi Webcomic Reviews.
Gayqueer (gaygenderqueer): gay orientationgenderqueer; when your gayness is so intrinsically tied to your genderqueerness that you absolutely cannot separate the two.
Parenting is hard, but hopefully fulfilling one day ?
(text: keanu and patrick swayze showing off the beautiful child they have together <3)
Queer Eye season 2 is now on Netflix. Here’s our recap for the Queer Eye season 2 premiere, “God Bless Gay.”
Queer Eye season 2 premiered on Netflix on Friday, June 15. This eight-episode season starts out with “Amazing Grace” playing in the background, so you may want two boxes of tissues for this one.
In the season premiere, “God Bless Gay,” the Fab Five (Antoni Porowski, Tan France, Kamaro Brown, Bobby Berk, and Jonathan Van Ness) travel to Gay, Georgia, where, for the first time ever, they are making over a woman.
“I’ve never done a lady before,” Kamaro exclaims and the belly laughs begin.
Tammye, who was nominated by Gene, a friend and neighbor, helps out at the church her late mother founded. The Fab Five are not only giving Tammye a makeover, but they are also remodeling the Church’s community center for their “homecoming” event. Tammye is a cancer survivor and is undergoing treatment at the same time that her mother and sister did. Unfortunately, her mother didn’t survive.
Tammye’s 22-year-old son Myles moves back home, but as a gay man, he doesn’t feel comfortable going back to a church he said didn’t accept him when he came out.
Throughout the premiere episode, not only do we learn about this incredibly compassionate woman, but the guys share very personal stories of acceptance and rejection by their own churches and families. Jonathan feels loved and accepted by God, but not by the church, while Kamaro had a very accepting church community.
Bobby refuses to step into Tammye’s church, expressing that he grew up very religious but knew he was gay at a young age. When his church turned their back on him after he came out, Bobby had a hard time coming back.
This episode is just as much about the Fab Five’s change and journey as it is about Tammye’s. Some of the highlights of this episode include:
One of the best moments in the entire episode was when Bobby reflected on what was going to happen: “This is fifty years in the making where a community center is being fixed by a bunch of gays in Gay, Georgia.”
There’s so much laughter, raw emotion and beauty in the first episode of Queer Eye season 2. It’s simply awesome to have these guys back.
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Their message has reached over 1,000,000 people in over 200 countries through their website, podcast, and videos.
More than that, it’s inspired a new way to talk about gender, sexuality, and justice by others such as the #FaithfullyLGBT conversation, the Queerology podcast, Queerly Beloved tees, the Our Bible App, and more. They have forever changed the public discourse around queerness and Christianity.
Looking for a place to start?
At Queer Theology we’ve developed a ton of resources over the years. On this page we’ve got them organized by topic so you can find exactly what you’re looking for exactly when you need it. From asking if it’s okay to be LGBTQ to navigating sex and relationships to finding a church. You need support? Start here.
There’s more! From coming out, to dealing with unaffirming family, to sex and relationships, and more! We’ve got a bunch more resources organized by topic on Resources page.
Resources for LGBTQ Christians | LGBTQ Bible podcast | Daily Affirmations