Gay Witch Hunt Quotes

Ryan: Yeah, I’m not a temp anymore. I got Jim’s uh, old job. Which means at my 10 year high school reunion it will say “Ryan Howard is a temp.” It will say “Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm. …that’ll show ’em.

Jim: [after “the kiss”] You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.

Jim: Are you really gonna marry him? [Pam nods] …Ok.

Dwight: [fake sobbing] Jim is gone. He’s gone. I miss him so much. Ooooh I cry myself to sleep, Jim! [serious] . I do not miss him.

Michael: You don’t call retarded people retards. It’s bad taste. You call your friends retards when they’re acting retarded.

Michael No. No, it’s not. I feel terrible about it. I have been calling people „faggy“ since I was in junior high, and I have never made this mistake. If I don’t know how to behave, it is because I am just so far the opposite way. You know? I’m just… I, I can’t even imagine… the… thing. Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime. And you could tell me… how… you do that to another dude.

Oscar: That sounds like a great, wonderful idea, let’s do that.

Angela: [in reference to Oscar being gay] It explains so much.

Jim: I ate a tuna sandwich, on my first day. So, Andy started calling me Big Tuna. …I don’t think any of them actually know my real name.

Andy Big Tuna is a super ambitious guy, you know? Cut your throat to get ahead kind of guy, but I mean I’m not threatened by him. I went to Cornell, you ever heard of it? [laughs] I graduated in four years. I never studied once. I was drunk the whole time, and I sang a cappella group, „Here Comes Treble.“

Karen: Jim’s nice enough. I dont… I don’t know how well he’s fitting in here. He’s always looking at the camera like this. [makes classic “Jim”-camera face] What is that?

Dwight: Well, he’s not dressed in women’s clothes, so…

Michael: [deep sigh] There could be others… I need to know. I don’t want to offend anybody else.

Dwight: You could assume everyone is, and not say anything offensive.

Michael: Yeah, I’m sure everyone would appreciate me treating them like they were gay.

Pam: Yeah, I didn’t go through with the wedding. I got cold feet, a few days before. And I can’t really explain it. I just had to get out of that relationship. We still had to pay for all the food. So we froze it. But I’m, I’m doing well. I have my own apartment. I’m taking art classes. And I have lunch for the next five weeks.

Roy: After Pam dumped me, I um, I kinda stopped taking care of myself there, and uh, I hit bottom when uh, drunk driving arrest. I’ve been working out and um, you know, I’m not gonna take her for granted. I gotta win her back.

Stanley: I got them a toaster. They called off the wedding and gave the toaster back to me. I tried to return the toaster to the store, and they said they no longer sold that kind of toaster. So now my house has got two toasters.

Oscar: Yes I’m super cool. I am an accountant at a failing paper supply company, Scranton. Much like, um, sir Ian McClellan.

Angela: Sure, sometimes I watch Will and Grace… and I want to throw up. It’s terribly loud. I do like it sometimes when Harry Connick Jr. is on. He’s so talented.

Andy: OK. Who put my calculator in Jello? Good one. But uh, seriously, guys who did this? Seriously guys, who did this? I need to know who put my calculator in Jello, or I’m gonna lose MY FRICKIN’ MIND!

Jan: You know, it’s amazing to me that in this day and age, you could be so obtuse about sexual orientation.

Michael: I watch the L Word. I watch, Queer as F***, so…

Toby: OK, Michael, are you aware that you outed Oscar today?

Jan: Coming out, is a significant moment for a gay person, and they should be allowed to select the timing and manner of announcing it.

Michael: Well, gay pride, right? Gay pride parade? It’s not like gay… shame festival.

Toby: All right, now Oscar’s feeling discriminated against by his co-workers, primarily Angela, and um, that’s your fault.

Michael: I think Angela might be gay. Could Oscar and Angela be having a gay affair? Maybe! Is that what this is about?

Michael: [laughs] Well, I’m not gay Jan, and you should know that better than anybody!

Jan: Michael, your immaturity is extremely disappointing and may even lead to a lawsuit which is the absolute last thing this company needs right now. Do you understand?

Michael: The company has made it my responsibility today to put an end to 100,000 years of being weirded out by gays.

Michael: Trick question! Cause you can’t always tell, so… how would I know. Is that the right answer?

Michael: All right, everybody in the conference room! I don’t care if you are gay, or straight, or a lesbian, or overweight! JUST GET IN HERE! RIGHT NOW!

Creed: I’m not offended by homosexuality. In the sixties, I made love to many many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain. And it was possible a man slipped in, and there would be no way of knowing.

Michael: Who should be the judges and juries of our society?

Michael: Yes, that’s a good point. She has a good point. Because gay marriage currently is not legal, under U.S. law. I bet a lot of straight men wish that applied to them. So they could go out there and have some torrid unabashed monkey sex as much as they could. You know? Sounds pretty good, right?

Michael: I uh, I’m gonna put my money where my mouth is. You ready? I am going to embrace Oscar. You might want to watch this Angela, because you can’t catch anything. Here we go. We are going to make a statement. You and I are going to make a statement together. Oscar is my friend —

Michael: …and I just don’t care who sees it, doesn’t bother me!

Oscar: No, NO! I don’t want to touch you, ever consider that? You’re ignorant, and insulting, and small!

Oscar: Michael… I’m sorry. That was a good idea. Come on, come on. [Oscar and Michael hug]

Michael: [sobbing] I’m sorry I called you faggie. You’re not faggie. You’re a a good guy.

Dwight: Michael appears to be gay too. And yet he is my friend. I guess I do have a gay friend.

Michael: [embracing Oscar]You know what, I’m going to raise the stakes. I want you to watch this. And I want you to burn this into your brains. Because this is an image that I want you people to remember for a long time to come. Whenever you come into the office I want you to think about this. [awkwardly kissing Oscar] I did it. See. I’m still here. We’re all still here. [everyone claps]

Michael: [Dwight gets up to kiss Oscar] Oh come on! Dwight! Come on, man!

Michael: I am glad that today spurred social change. That’s part of my job as regional manager. But you know what? Even if it didn’t, at least we put this matter to bed. …that’s what she said. Or he said.

Oscar: I was going to quit. But Jan offered me a three month paid vacation and a company car. All I had to do was sign something saying I won’t sue. Gill and I are going to Europe. Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay.

Dwight: [reading the note with the gaydar] “Hope this helps. -Jim” Nice!

Oscar: [Dwight is running the gaydar over Oscar’s body] What are you doing?!

Dwight: Shhh. Don’t be scared. [gaydar beeps over Oscar’s belt buckle, Dwight smiles] It works. [gaydar goes off next to Dwight’s belt buckle] …oh no.

The Office (USA)/Gay Witch Hunt

Melora HardinJan Levinson-Gould), Roy Anderson), Stanley Hudson), Brian BaumgartnerKevin Malone), Kate FlanneryMeredith Palmer), Kelly Kapour), Angela KinseyAngela Martin), Toby), Oscar NunezOscar Martinez), Phyllis SmithPhyllis Lapin)

The Office (USA)/Gay Witch Hunt

Invisible to Gaydar

Originally treated as a subversion of the standard gay stereotypes, the Straight Gay is a homosexual character who has no camp mannerisms or obviously ‚gay‘ affectations.

In the earliest cases, Straight Gays were mostly there for farcical reasons: perhaps as a misunderstanding in which a straight character ends up unwittingly inviting himself out on a ‚date‘ with a gay man, or in which a homophobic character espouses his views to a stranger only to find out that the person he’s talking to is gay.

Currently, the Straight Gay is Truth in Television showing the producers understand that not all gay men are screaming ‚queens‘ or muscleheads, or to provide a more mainstream-friendly gay character. Alternatively, the plot may hinge on characters not suspecting that a character is gay (ie. they’re in the closet), or it may be so incidental to the plot that it’s It’s still used for cheap jokes, though.

In some cases—especially Soap Operas—this may be because of a Suddenly Sexuality switch for a previously heterosexual character.

In real life, the „str8-acting“ concept is very controversial in the gay community, with the two most extreme sides being either praise for showing that one can be gay without being flaming, or scorn for being an insecure phony trying too hard to fit in with straights due to not fully accepting their homosexuality. A lot of people just object to the term itself, feeling that it improperly conflates masculinity with heterosexuality, implying that homosexuality is by default anti-masculine.

Often involves a situation where, if the character didn’t mention he was gay, the audience would never know it. Can become Anvilicious depending on how long he goes on about how being gay doesn’t define him, though this could also show the character’s inner insecurities.

Arguably a Spear CounterpartLipstick Lesbian. Also compare Bi the WayArmored Closet GayReal Men Wear PinkGayngster is a subset of Straight Gays who are also gangsters or criminals. Manly Gay can overlap with Straight Gay depending on the context.

Polar opposite is Mistaken for Gay, which is often Camp Straight.

Invisible to Gaydar


„Their GPS disconnected, their radio dead, the crew of the Arizona are forced to use the only tool they have left: Dave’s gaydar.“

The ability to determine a person’s sexual orientation without being explicitly told — or rather, the ability to detect gay people who haven’t outed themselves to you. (Gaydar presumably can detect straight people as well by process of elimination; but in media depictions, it generally isn’t.) This may require anything from a casual glance, to hearing the target speak, to near constant observation.

Can be confounded by the presence of a Camp Straight, but not always. Much depends on how much the gaydar depends on gay stereotypes.

Can also rely heavily on an observer’s common wisdom and intuition based on life experience, with good gaydar being measured by its probability of success, making this Truth in Television. (Compare Transparent Closet for gaydar’s easiest detections.)

The term is a combination of the words „gay“ and „radar“.

This trope can be very close to Fan Yay, especially where an observer likes what they see, is using Shipping Goggles, or otherwise is practicing some form of wishful thinking. But just as often, Gaydar can be perfectly sincere audience interpretation, whether or not there is also Fan Yayuse caution when calling Fan Yay on someone’s Gaydar.



No longer a temp, Ryan accepts the sales position vacated when JimStamford branchPam looks at Ryan sitting at Jim’s former desk and flashes back to Pam and Jim’s kiss prior to his transfer. In the flashback, Jim tells Pam he has wanted to do that „for the longest time“ and Pam admits the same. She stops Jim from another kiss and tells him she’s still getting married and they say their goodbyes. In an interview, Dwight feigns tears over Jim’s transfer, before indicating he’s glad to be rid of him.

Michael calls OscarShakespeare in LoveDie HardToby not to use such terms, but insists it is a harmless synonym for „lame.“ („That’s what ‚faggy‘ !“) Toby tells Michael that Oscar is homosexual and finds the word offensive.

Michael approaches Oscar at the copy machine and loudly apologizes and invites him for a beer sometime. In a succession of short on-camera interviews, Oscar reveals that he is gay, Angela indicates she hates the whole idea of homosexuality and the jowls of Kevin’s face jiggle as he is unable to manage anything but “ gay“ through his giggles.

Meanwhile, in Stamford, Jim’s transfer came with a promotion and a modern office where his desk includes a window view. Co-worker Andy, who sits at a desk in front of Jim, calls him „Big Tuna“ in reference to his first-day lunch, a switch from his daily ham and cheese sandwich in Scranton. Co-worker Karen, who sits at the desk behind Jim, mocks him for repeatedly smirking at the camera and says she doesn’t believe he’s fitting in. Andy meanwhile, discusses how he doesn’t feel threatened by Jim as he thinks he’s an ambitious know-it-all, just as he brags about his wild college days at Cornell University.

Back in Scranton, Roy brings Pam lunch in a short, awkward exchange. The cameraman notices that Pam is not wearing an engagement ring. In an interview, Pam says she got cold feet, called off the wedding, ended the relationship, and moved into her own apartment. As a result, Roy and Pam are making the frozen wedding reception meals their lunch for the next five weeks.

A disheveled Roy is seen in a mug shot as he recalls how being dumped led him into a downward spiral of weight gain, beard growth, and a drunk driving arrest. Roy claims he has recovered, laments mistreating Pam, and vows to win her back. Stanley’s only comment on the breakup is that he gave the couple a toaster, was unable to return the discontinued model, and now has two toasters at home.

Dwight and Michael worry about the possibility of other homosexuals working in the office without their knowledge. Dwight recalls Jim mentioning „gaydar“ being available for purchase online, though Dwight is skeptical because he believes Jim a liar. Nonetheless, the pair phones him in Stamford where Jim pretends to check the availability and reports that gaydar is sold out on the Internet. Also in Stamford, Jim recycles a prank he pulled on Dwight by encasing Andy’s calculator in Jell-O, with different results: Andy gets violently upset and kicks a wastebasket as Jim silently returns to work, visibly terrified by Andy’s reaction.

Kelly approaches Oscar and tells him that he is „so cool“ for being gay. Jan informs Michael that he has outed Oscar, a personal decision Michael had no business making while Toby points out that Oscar feels discriminated against by Angela. Employees gather around as Dwight looks at gay pornography at Michael’s suggestion. Angela makes a homophobic comment which offends Oscar who bumps her as he walks past, sending Dwight into a brief frenzy.

Michael calls an emergency meeting in the conference room and informs the assembled they are all „homos—homo sapiens“. Pam looks to Ryan as she holds back shocked laughter (as she would have done with Jim), and is disappointed when he does not do the same, perhaps had hoped they would begin to have a friendship like Jim and Pam’s had been. Michael tells Oscar to come out to the office formally, „right here, however, you want“. Oscar does so reluctantly but unemotionally, concluding his confession with, „whatever.“ Dwight demands that „all the other office gays out themselves or I will do it for them.“

Dwight then implies Phyllis might be gay. Phyllis takes offense and announces that she is engaged to Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration. Several employees congratulate her, and a surprised, jealous Michael says there is hope for everyone. Phyllis retorts that she and her friends thought Michael was gay when they were in high school together. Michael sheepishly defends his school-age sense of fashion. Creed, in an interview, states that while he’s never deliberately made love to a man, it’s possible that one „slipped in“ during the 1960s.

Oscar announces that he can no longer work at the branch and begins to leave, but Michael stops him and tries to hug him as a show of acceptance. Oscar blows up and calls Michael „small,“ which silences the staff in discomfort and reduces Michael to tears. Oscar apologizes and allows the hug to happen. Believing the hug insufficient, Michael tells the staff to „watch this, and burn this into your brains“, and kisses a struggling, reluctant Oscar on the mouth. Dwight, who was seemingly moved by Michael’s actions, consequently attempts to kiss Oscar. In interviews, Dwight says he now believes Michael is gay. Michael says any two people who want to should be together. He concludes by saying, „That’s what she said.“ His facial expressions make it clear he believes he has said something profound.

Pam looks longingly at Ryan’s desk, as Jim simultaneously glances at an empty seat next to him as Mr. Brown directs a humorless diversity training in Stamford. Glancing through his office blinds, Michael sees Oscar catch a ride from Gil, and muses, „Oscar’s roommate…I wonder if he knows?“ Oscar reveals in an interview that Jan gave him three months paid vacation and use of a company car in exchange for signing an agreement not to sue the company about his botched outing. In Oscar’s words, „it pays to be gay.“

In the final moments, Dwight opens a package from Jim, a novelty „gaydar“ machine fashioned from a metal detector and lettered with the prefixes „Homo“, „Bi“, and „Hetero“. He confirms the device on Oscar but is dumbfounded when the device goes off as he inadvertently swipes it across his own belt buckle. Pam smiles to herself.


8 Trying to use “gaydar” to figure out who was gay in the office

Dwight could be extremely judgemental and bigoted in his worldview at times. He definitely wasn’t very progressive when it came to things like women’s rights and LGBT issues.

He was rather homophobic at times, and one of the biggest examples of this is when he tried to find “gaydar” so that he could figure out who in the office was gay. This obviously doesn’t exist but the fact that he was so worried about seeing who wasn’t straight wasn’t a problem.

2 When he killed Angela’s cat

Dwight was definitely not always a good boyfriend. While at times he could be surprisingly caring, there were other times where he was rude and inappropriate.

The worst thing he did to Angela was when he killed her cat. While the cat might have been old and quite sick, it wasn’t his place to decide to put the cat out of her misery. On top of that, he then lied to Anglea about it.

Plot Overview

Michael is visited by Toby in HR after calling Oscar, a closeted homosexual, „faggy.“ Upon hearing the news that Oscar really is gay (and not lame as Michael would insist), he apologizes to him in front of the entire office, unaware that Oscar would like to keep his sexuality a private matter.

To make things worse, Michael’s realization that anyone in the office could be gay has caused him to focus his efforts on figuring out if there is a way to tell if someone is gay just by looking at them. He sets Dwight on this task, who suggests that they buy Gaydar online as per Jim’s (joking) advise.

Meanwhile, at the Stamford branch, Jim attempts to fit in with his new surroundings and co-workers. There, he is forced to attend a diversity seminar as a result of Michael’s behavior at the Scranton branch over Oscar’s homosexuality. Jim tries to win some people over by pulling the office supplies in Jello prank on a co-worker, but doesn’t succeed at all.

In order to prevent problems from escalating further, Jan confronts Michael about accidentally outing Oscar to his co-workers and demands that he solve the problem before the possibility of a lawsuit comes up. Michael is left with no choice but to hold a conference when Pam alerts him to Dwight looking at gay pornography on his computer.

In the conference, Michael continues to make things worse by making Oscar personally come out to everyone in the office. Dwight threatens to out all of the other gay people in the office (even though there are none) and accuses Phyllis of being a lesbian. Although she tells everyone that she’s engaged to Bob Vance, Michael continues to press the matter until Phyllis says that in high school everyone thought he was gay. The conference continues to degenerate until Oscar gets up to leave. Michael stops him and the two reluctantly embrace but, just when the problem seemed to be worked out, Michael kisses Oscar and any effectively destroys any progress made in the meeting. Before he can quit, Oscar is given 3 months of paid vacation and a company car in order to agree not to sue the company for discrimination.


This episode might be one of the most ridiculous and hilarious episodes of The Office. After Oscar gets outed, Dwight and Michael are unsurprisingly rather backward in their handling of the situation. Jim is at Stamford during this time, but Dwight and Michael contact him to see if he knows where they can buy “gaydar.” Jim sends Dwight a metal detector and calls it “gaydar.” The funniest thing about this is that the “gaydar” dings on Dwight, prompting him to wonder if he’s actually gay. It’s hilarious, and perhaps one of the show’s greatest moments.


„Hey, did your Uncle Patrick ever strike you as being gay?““No. I mean, apart from his boyfriend Leland.“

I wonder if on straight dating sites they have a „gay acting“ check-box…


 TG: my gaydar is like the exanct fuckin poposite of urs TG: which is to say it is better than completety nonexistant TG: mine is so sensitive it has been used to sweep the ocean floor for mythical sea monsters TG: turns out TG: all of those monsters are SO gay TG: truth B)

The Office Season 3 Quotes – Gay Witch Hunt

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