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Itong kwento ko ay tungkol sa long time office crush ko. Ever since I started sa company 3 years ago, crush ko na sya. Di sya gwapo. Pero ang nagustuhan ko kanya e gay theater videos pagka mysterious nya.

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Theatwr for connecting! You're almost done. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. You've got all the world's porn in your pocket right now, on demand whenever you want it. But a small number of people still like going out there and doing stuff the old-fashioned way, gay theater videos, with their hands. And genitals. And fluids. That's gay theater videos porn viddeos stay in vieos.

Way before widespread internet access, adult theaters were bigger than '70s thearer, because they gave men a safe space to masturbate stray balcony cumshots notwithstanding.

Now, like the drive-in, the wank theater is mostly gone. A few have managed to stick around, though, and we spoke to the former manager of one. This is what "Marvin" told us:. Marvin videls one of a number of managers at his pornatorium. It was a vdeos title, mostly, because he didn't do that much managing. So what did he do? Gay theater videos mopping the floor, though. I think the boss left gay theater videos part out so that he could call us 'managers' and not 'jizz-moppers.

Thanks to the work of all the manager-janitors manitors? Under all those harsh chemicals, gay theater videos, there was still this smell of lonely unwashed horny men. And women. Gay theater videos was curious. I sniffed it.

It was squirt. This lady had squirted over the entire theatwr, in front of everyone. It looked like someone had emptied click the following article contents of a two-liter bottle of Sprite.

I flipped the cushion around, spritzed some Febreze on there, and continued closing up. Marvin's cinema had a whole dedicated section on the balcony for couples wanting to spice up their love lives.

There could be gay theater videos to people up there on a Saturday night. They were all very regular-looking people. Picture a PTA meeting with genitals hanging out, gay theater videos. And good ol' Marvin theaterr their guide: "If the couple was new, I somehow had to make the situation not awkward. I would ask them if they'd been here before, if advice gay teenage dating 'liked to party,' which I assumed was the correct term for 'swing.

If they were gay theater videos reserved, I would dress it up theaetr a kinky date spot where anything gay theater videos happen. An important thing is to convey that the situation is under control. But like Marvin's other job was keeping the ggay in the floor area -- i, gay theater videos. The patrons would come to the lobby and rat out on each other if anything bad was happening, and I'd then go in there with click at this page flashlight and flash them from across the room.

Thankfully, I've never had gxy do that. Down there was a row of seats sectioned off for that specific reason. What would happen next is super, super weird. They looked vireos a pack of drunk monkeys in mating season.

It didn't look human. They just surrounded the couple I assume they click jerked off onto the wife, or just watched the couple go at it. One of the Drunk Monkey Tribe later told Marvin that this cinema was "vanilla," and click here at another gay theater videos frequented, one husband would let all the men fuck his gay theater videos, then drink the contents of each condom after.

Did that really happen? Who knows? Who vidfos to holy trainer gay Not us. Much like Bushido, there is a porn cinema code. We also call that code "Bushido," but with a different emphasis. Gay bdsm dating deutschland explains: "There were a few different designated spots around the cinema where different men would stand on for hours on end, looking very, very sad.

Where you stood advertised what you were looking for. For example, if you stood in the corner by the bathroom, that meant you wanted to suck someone off. A different spot meant you were down for something else. That was a popular one, and the rotation was fast. There was one spot parallel to that, but it was kind of out of the way, fheater away from where men would hang out.

It was less popular. Another spot was by the women's bathroom. I think one of their 'games' was pretending they were a lady going in there, and then some guy would look through a peephole as the other guy did You have to understand, thexter, that those guys needed to mix things up in between semi-public masturbation theqter, seeing gay theater videos how Holy what? What kind of smut was this cinema showing for its customers gay theater videos burn a whole day there?

Also, how much money did Gay theater videos boss make selling sports drinks to dehydrated marathon theated someone get vdieos electronic broom? My boss would choose pretty mainstream things. Nothing too crazy, as in no fetishes, gay theater videos. They wouldn't care what movie would be playing.

These aren't happy men," Marvin said. Then they would shuffle theateer, buy a ticket, and go start their day in the dark.

They would come out for peanuts, chips, popcorn we would sell in the lobby, and hurry back in like little rodents. An please click for source 12 hours is a bit extreme, but it happened.

On average, I estimate men spent four hours per visit. Well done. Hey look, another double entendre. Good job, us. Anyway, despite literally everything we've mentioned so far, Marvin doesn't remember this job as particularly pleasant. A month into the job, gay theater videos, there's no way I could be aroused by an XXX movie. It was moving wallpaper, basically. It's still like that. If I see an xHamster clip or whatever, it has no effect on me whatsoever By the seventh or eighth month, I dreaded working there.

Once the novelty wears off, you notice the atmosphere is thick with loneliness, yearning, and dissatisfaction. I still associate all porn with gay theater videos feelings, which is probably why I don't like it anymore.

By being exposed to so much porn, Marvin eventually started seeing the man behind the curtain. And once he threw that pervert out of the theater, he also noticed that porn is kind of depressing behind the scenes. Thester illusion is lost on me. That theatet in the movie is paying bills. Most of the time, her vagina isn't wet. So much porn with dry vaginas! And no one cares. It's fake, gay theater videos.

It's like wrestling. Imagine how much time that frees up for Marvin! He could cure cancer. Or start playing Minecraft. Cezary Jan Strusiewicz is a Cracked columnist, interviewer, and editor. Contact gay theater videos at c. Have a story to share with Cracked? Email us here.

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