“Truth or Dare” Results in Teen’s First Gay Kiss.

Before moving to Georgia, I lived in Hawaii until I was 15. Growing up in Hawaii, it was different, it was a bit isolated, I didn’t have a lot of gay friends, I didn’t have any gay friends actually. I didn’t really know anybody who was gay but I knew that I was gay. I had a friend who I had known since probably 7th grade. We went through middle school into high school together and I definitely had a crush on him, I just never really, it was just like I really liked him, I didn’t know if he was gay, we never talked about it, I never even let that part of me really out. We were on dance teams together, I guess I should have known he was gay then, but, we were on dance teach together, we ran track, we did a lot of sports together so I was always sleeping over at his house, and there would be times that I would be over there spending the night wishing something would happen, anything, a kiss, just him telling me, like, you know, high school boy’s fantasy I guess.

I would say it was a couple weeks before I moved to Georgia, it was the summer after my sophomore year of high school and I stayed at his house just as a kind of a last hoorah. We still had not any real contact with another male. I definitely, I had encounters with girls and stuff like that, but I knew that wasn’t what I wanted, I knew that wasn’t how I was feeling. So I was staying at his house as a little goodbye, and that night was a little different. He was being a little weird, maybe it was just because I was leaving, I don’t know. We were always really close but there was this energy. And I remember that urge for like, “This is going to be the moment, something, I don’t know what’s going to happen but this is going to happen.”

So the whole night we’re eating pizza, watching TV, playing video games, normal stuff, and he brings up the idea of playing “Truth or Dare.” And of course I’m like, yes! I don’t know how I’m going to make this happen but something’s going to happen. We didn’t do a lot of “Truth”, there wasn’t a lot of “Truth”, there was like “Dares” and they started off really light, little things, I dare you to go outside in the middle of the night, take your pants off or something and run outside and run back in, easy things. More and more they started to get a little heavier, a little more intense to me.

“You have to sit here the whole time in just your boxer shorts.”

It was very…it started getting me riled up. I remember one of the last dares he said. He said, “I dare you to kiss me.”

I chickened out completely. At that moment, I was like I don’t know what’s going to happen after that kiss, or is this a trick, or you know, is he feeling the same, does he even want this, so many things. So he was like, “Well, if you’re not going to do this dare, you have to do a counter dare, and the counter dare is going to be even worse.”

Basically, he was like, “You have to strip down and sit here and we’re going to play the rest of this game, or you can just kiss me and we’ll go and play video games after this.”

And I was like, “Okay, I’ll kiss you but I’m going to do it with my eyes closed.”

It felt like a good 10 minutes passed by before he leaned in and it was a really slow, just like a slow, soft kiss, and the biggest smile creeped on my face. And when I opened my eyes he just like, as goofy as he was he was just a goofy person, he stuck his tongue out and was like, “Okay, let’s go play ‘007’” or something, whatever the game was. And everything was normal after that. I was so terrified that it was going to happen and we weren’t going to be friends for some reason or he was going to want to out me, but it was just super normal and we were still friends.

After I left, I moved a couple weeks after that, we kept in touch for a little while but it just kind of faded out. I actually never, I didn’t have another male-on-male encounter until I was 18 after that, like not a kiss, nothing. He was my first kind of solid experience.

We are not gay, but we secretly kiss and sleep in the same bed

You don’t need to define your sexuality, Mariella Frostrup tells a confused man, but you do need to stop second-guessing your lover’s motives and start working out what you want

The dilemma I am a 30-year-old man and I had, until last year, identified as a straight man. One night, after an office dinner party, I went to my colleague’s flat. We were good mates then, but nothing more. We are both architects and I went to see some of his latest work. He offered me a drink and we ended up getting drunk. He is slightly older and also identifies as heterosexual. (He is really good looking but, mysteriously, has been single for many years.) We drank too much and kissed. We were embarrassed, but for the past year we have regularly met and kissed, but he doesn’t go beyond a certain point physically. I know I love him dearly. He loves me, too, he says, but as a brother/best friend, not as a partner. Recently, he has stopped kissing me on the lips, but we sleep in the same bed and cuddle. I am confused. Is he straight, is he gay/bisexual and, more importantly, should I have any hope of finding romantic love with him? It’s frustrating and confusing. I don’t want to beg him to do more if he doesn’t feel comfortable and at the same time it would hurt to walk away from this man (and hurt my career if I left my job).

Mariella replies What a conundrum. Whether you two are gay or straight, bi or just having fun, you should probably stop kissing for long enough to have a conversation about what’s happening between you. I don’t often look to Meat Loaf for inspiration, but “you took the words right out of my mouth, it must have been while you were kissing me,” strikes a chord here. You really need to talk!

A surprise encounter appears to have evolved into a regular habit, but with so much secrecy, embarrassment and confusion it’s impossible to gauge what the relationship is all about. For two grown men to be playing out an affair like a pair of adolescent virgins would be fine if that’s what you were mutually set on. In your case, however, neither of you appears to have faced up to where it might lead. This tryst that dare not speak its name feels positively 19th century and your mysterious, good-looking, serially single and emotionally buttoned-up colleague positively Darcyesque.

There’s nothing we masochistic human beings relish more than the endorsement of our own shortcomings and your lover, if we can call him that, seems to be doing an excellent job of that for you. Are you the right sex, are you sexy, are you brothers-in-arms or just good for a placatory cuddle? There must be a veritable babel of questions bubbling around your brain.

A liaison with a fellow adult involving this degree of guesswork about sexual orientation is definitely not an example of mature romancing. For something more meaningful to develop between you, having some sense of your lover’s hopes and dreams, desires and romantic ambitions is the baseline – and you’re not standing anywhere close to it as far as I can tell. Instead you’re asking me questions about the sexual predilections of a man you’ve been sharing intimate moments with for the last year. You don’t need me to tell you that there’s something not quite right.

The place to start working that out isn’t by second guessing what your colleague is after, but by taking a long, searing search into your own motives and desires. A drunken kiss is easy to explain away, but a year of unrequited sleepovers rather less so. You’ve both entered this union defining yourselves as heterosexual, so are equally guilty of delusions. These are enlightened times and, as any liberal teenager will tell you, there are at least 30 variations on our gender proclivities – though I’m clearly lacking imagination as I’d be hard-pressed to name more than a handful.

My point is there is no pressing need to define your sexuality, but entertaining the possibility that it’s more fluid than you thought is a good starting point. Boxing yourself into the “straight man” category seems a stable door from which you’ve already bolted. Your lover isn’t the only one who doesn’t seem to know what he wants or who he is. Why are you so concerned with this man’s feelings and sexual preferences while in the dark about your own?

We are lucky to live in enlightened times, in a part of the world where the climate for self expression has never been more welcoming. It’s a shame to squander those advances by embarking on the sort of furtive relationship that societal censure and even the law made inevitable a century ago.

You’ve shared intimacies with a man and found that you enjoyed it. At best your current situation suggests you have stalled and at worst that this potential “lover” is stepping back from further emotional or physical exploration. My advice would be to look for a relationship where you can better be yourself, not one where you’re constantly trying to establish who it is you’re dating. This man may have opened a door for you, but I’m not sure the relationship has much further to travel. Your future happiness may rely on you walking past him and out into pastures new and unprecedented.

We are not gay, but we secretly kiss and sleep in the same bed

How to Understand Gay Teens

This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. wikiHow’s Content Management Team carefully monitors the work from our editorial staff to ensure that each article is backed by trusted research and meets our high quality standards. There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 50,653 times. Learn more…

Sexual identity can be complicated, and understanding someone else’s sexual identity can be equally so. Whether a teen has just come out as queer, or they have been out for a while, there are many ways to go about understanding who they are, especially in relationship to their sexual identity.

How to Understand Gay Teens

Gay Men Kissing: How To Make Out With a Guy!

The one feature of a gay kiss that separates it from other types of romantic acts is the experience involves two men. As a result, gay kissing tend to be more intense.

But isn’t that to be expected when two guys lock lips?

When done right, a hot gay kiss will send shivers down your man’s spine. But when done wrong, it can ruin the possibility of future encounters.

Ask most gay men and they will tell you if the guy doesn’t know how to kiss, any possibility of something more happening; like a relationship, is pretty much dead.

Gay Men Kissing: How To Make Out With a Guy!

Gay Kissing Ultimate Guide

We created this guide on gay kissing to help you learn the basics of locking lips. The truth is, there’s a whole lot more involved than you might think!

For example, if you are kissing a man with a beard, your approaching might be different than someone with a smooth face. And if the guy is taller than you, the way you approach the lip lock may be different than someone who is shorter.

What follows is a comprehensive, ultimate guide on gay kissing that we’re confident will give you useful, practical insight on how to make out with a man like a pro.

We’ve broken this guide into three parts. Read them all because each are vitally important to a successful outcome.

Gay Kissing Ultimate Guide

Gay Kissing TV and Movies

If you are into guys kissing guys, there’s plenty of male celebrities who have been involved in same sex smooches. Below are but a few examples of actors who have done a gay kiss scene.

If you want to learn more, see our guys kissing guys on TV and movies page.

Do Straight Guys Ever Kiss?

When a guy identifies as straight, he will usually shy away from intimate contact, like making out. However, there are occasions where a straight man will be open to a gay experience, such as a passionate kiss.

Related: Top 10 reasons straight men go temporarily gay

Gay Kissing Final Thoughts

Kissing another man is an art form. The truth is, most of us were never given a blueprint for how to do it right.

Hopefully, this guide has allowed you to learn more about gay kissing so that you feel more confident when the time comes. If you found this page to be helpful, please Like us on Facebook!

Related Reading

If you are interested in more topics related to gay life, consider one of our other handy guides:

1. The Curiosity of Chance(2006)

A confident, out-of-the-closet gay teenager has the support of an eclectic range of friends while dealing with a homophobic bully during his first year at an international high school.

Director:Russell P. Marleau | Stars:Tad Hilgenbrink, Brett Chukerman, Aldevina Da Silva, Pieter Van Nieuwenhuyze

7. (2013)

What happens after Tanner is outed by his classmates and becomes the title „gay best friend“ for three high school queen bees?

Director:Darren Stein | Stars:Michael J. Willett, Paul Iacono, Sasha Pieterse, Andrea Bowen

11. (2011)

A drama centered on the relationship between a two young men, as one of them navigates the difficulties of life as a transgender man.

Director:Sabine Bernardi | Stars:Rick Okon, Max Befort, Liv Lisa Fries, Felix Brocke

13. (I) (2004)

After getting dumped by his slutty girlfriend, Caleb falls in love with Gwen. However, thanks to Caleb’s roommate, Gwen thinks he’s gay and sets him up with her roommate, Marc.

Director:Q. Allan Brocka | Stars:Scott Lunsford, Jim Verraros, Emily Brooke Hands, Rebekah Kochan

14. (2011)

A fresh face comes to Hollywood to act in movies but only the gay porn studios are eager to provide him with work.

Director:Casper Andreas | Stars:Matthew Ludwinski, Allison Lane, Michael Medico, Casper Andreas

15. Longhorns(2011)

Back in 1982, a Texas University student who was curious about the male sex fantasies he had been having, decides he needs to hook up with an out gay student on campus.

Director:David Lewis | Stars:Jacob Newton, Derek Efrain Villanueva, Dylan Vox, Kevin Held

16. (1999)

A young man named Brandon Teena navigates love, life, and being transgender in rural Nebraska.

Director:Kimberly Peirce | Stars:Hilary Swank, Chloë Sevigny, Peter Sarsgaard, Brendan Sexton III

17. Edge of Seventeen(1998)

A teenager copes with his sexuality on the last day of school in 1984. It shows him coping with being gay and being with friends.

Director:David Moreton | Stars:Chris Stafford, Tina Holmes, Andersen Gabrych, Stephanie McVay

18. (2011)

A gay man nearing 30, and in a 7-year relationship rut, taps into an otherworldly Internet ad that starts omnisciently controlling his life.

Director:J.C. Calciano | Stars:Houston Rhines, Noah Schuffman, Matt Lewis, Andy Anderson

20. (2004)

A close friendship between two crew teammates is tested when one slowly discovers he’s gay and attracted to the other.

Director:Marco Kreuzpaintner | Stars:Robert Stadlober, Kostja Ullmann, Miriam Morgenstern, Jürgen Tonkel

21. Latter Days(2003)

A promiscuous gay party animal falls for a young Mormon missionary, leading to crisis, cliché, and catastrophe.

Director:C. Jay Cox | Stars:Wes Ramsey, Steve Sandvoss, Mary Kay Place, Amber Benson

23. Chasing Amy(1997)

Holden and Banky are comic book artists. Everything’s going good for them until they meet Alyssa, also a comic book artist. Holden falls for her, but his hopes are crushed when he finds out she’s a lesbian.

Director:Kevin Smith | Stars:Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams, Ethan Suplee, Scott Mosier

26. Shelter(II) (2007)

When his college dreams are sidelined by family obligations, a young man finds comfort in surfing with his best friend’s brother.

Director:Jonah Markowitz | Stars:Trevor Wright, Brad Rowe, Tina Holmes, Jackson Wurth

Two gay guys. Coming out story. Don’t worry the older guy isn’t that old looking. 😉

27. Prayers for Bobby(2009 TV Movie)

True story of Mary Griffith, gay rights crusader, whose teenage son committed suicide due to her religious intolerance. Based on the book of the same title by Leroy Aarons.

Director:Russell Mulcahy | Stars:Sigourney Weaver, Henry Czerny, Ryan Kelley, Austin Nichols

28. (2005)

A young French-Canadian, growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, struggles to reconcile his emerging homosexuality with his father’s conservative values and his own Catholic beliefs.

Director:Jean-Marc Vallée | Stars:Michel Côté, Marc-André Grondin, Danielle Proulx, Émile Vallée

Was really boring. Nice ending though, I think can’t remember actually. Heart-felt movie

29. (2003)

The story concerns a hapless civil servant who gets more than he bargained for when he moves into an apartment with a gay fashion student and finds himself on the catwalk. The film sets out… See full summary »

Director:David Gleeson | Stars:Michael Legge, Allen Leech, Amy Shiels, David Murray

33. (1996)

A gay cabaret owner and his drag queen companion agree to put up a false straight front so that their son can introduce them to his fiancée’s right-wing moralistic parents.

Director:Mike Nichols | Stars:Robin Williams, Nathan Lane, Gene Hackman, Dianne Wiest

34. Dream Boy(2008)

Chronicles the relationship between two gay teenagers in the rural south in the late ’70s.

Director:James Bolton | Stars:Stephan Bender, Thomas Jay Ryan, Diana Scarwid, Tom Gilroy

Sad and wasn’t very good. Reminded me of the mudge boy movie, but worse.

38. I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry(2007)

Two straight, single Brooklyn firefighters pretend to be a gay couple in order to receive domestic partner benefits.

Director:Dennis Dugan | Stars:Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jessica Biel, Dan Aykroyd

40. (I) (2008)

The story of Harvey Milk and his struggles as an American gay activist who fought for gay rights and became California’s first openly gay elected official.

Director:Gus Van Sant | Stars:Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Emile Hirsch, Diego Luna

so not a teen movie, cuz its pretty boring, but its still a good movie. Sad Ending

41. The Kings of Summer(2013)

Three teenage friends, in the ultimate act of independence, decide to spend their summer building a house in the woods and living off the land.

Director:Jordan Vogt-Roberts | Stars:Nick Robinson, Gabriel Basso, Moises Arias, Nick Offerman

Not sure if the character is gay but, still a really good movie. I’m talking right next to the movie Stand By me

46. Prayers for Bobby(2009 TV Movie)

True story of Mary Griffith, gay rights crusader, whose teenage son committed suicide due to her religious intolerance. Based on the book of the same title by Leroy Aarons.

Director:Russell Mulcahy | Stars:Sigourney Weaver, Henry Czerny, Ryan Kelley, Austin Nichols

52. Tell No One(2012)

Matthia is about to move to Madrid to be with his boyfriend Eduard, so he won’t have to reveal to the family of being gay. Eduard, however, is convinced that their marriage has the blessing… See full summary »

Director:Ivan Silvestrini | Stars:Josafat Vagni, Monica Guerritore, Francesco Montanari, Antonino Bruschetta

53. (2014 TV Movie)

A sexually awakening gay teen athlete finds himself in a budding relationship with his mutually attracted relay race teammate.

Director:Mischa Kamp | Stars:Gijs Blom, Ko Zandvliet, Jonas Smulders, Ton Kas

Haven’t seen it yet because hard to get it in America but lots of good reviews

54. (2014– )

It tells the story of three very close friends, Yoon Jung-wan (Eugene), Kim Sun-mi (Kim Yoo-mi), and Kwon Ji-hyun (Choi Jung-yoon), who are all 39 years old. They each have their own problems.

Stars:Yoo-jin Kim, Tae-woong Eom, Kim Yu-Mi, Jeong-yun Choi

A gay love story taken place in Hong Kong. It deals with homophobia in the community and family and HIV. It has a happy ending

1. Flirt Before Gay Kissing

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to lunge at your guy and starting kissing on him. Instead, allow the opportunity to flirt a little. This helps to create anticipation: the buildup for what’s to come. Here are some suggestions:

2. Eye Contact is Important with Gay Kisses

During the flirting stage, it’s important to make eye contact. This can be a bit tricky because you don’t want to come off as creepy by staring too long. To master this step, you may need to practice confidence building in advance.