The 22 Best Sex Toys for Gay, Bi, and Queer Men

Toys for top daddies, vers queens, and power bottoms.

Sex toys don’t discriminate; they’re made for anyone and everyone who wants them. That’s why no type of sex toybutt plug is inherently “gay.“

Nevertheless, gay culture—including gay sex culture—is indeed a thing. That’s why there are certain sex toys that appeal more to gay, bi, and queer men than straight guys. For example, a queer man might be more likely to buy a Fleshlight shaped like a male porn star’s butt than of a female porn star’s vulva. He may be more likely to buy an XXL butt plug to help stretch things out down there, or a double-edged dildo in case the guy he brings home happens to be a bottom, too. There are even brands out there making awesome sex toys with gay men specifically in mind. These companies include OxBalls and Mr. S Leather—you’ll notice I included many of their products on this list.

So, without further ado, here are 22 sex toys for gay, bi, and queer men. You’ll notice I start with more basic sex toys and gradually progress to more advanced and niche items, like anal hooks (for all the BDSM fans out there). Regardless of whether you identify as straight, bisexual, fluid, gay, queer, or something else on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, these sex toys can be extremely pleasurable if you have a penis, butthole, and/or prostate. Use them with a partner or during your next solo session!

A staple in every queer man’s bedroom is a stainless steel cock ring. Pro tip: Don’t get cocky (pun intended) with sizing. Odds are you’re a small or medium, not a large, buddy boy. 

The „Butt Tingler“ from Lovehoney is about as standard as a vibrating butt plug can be. It’s made from silicone and is 3.5 inches in length making it ideal for beginners. 

Start small and work your way up to medium and large with this 100% silicone butt plug training kit. It consists of three smooth silicone butt plugs in different sizes. Each has a flexible shaft that has small ridges to stimulate where you are most sensitive.

I just linked to Christopher Milan’s Fleshlight because I think he’s fine AF, but if you peruse the Fleshlight site, there are plenty of  other male models and porn stars to choose from, including Diego Sans, Allen King, and more. 

I love this toy. (You can read my full review of it here!) You control the speed and intensity of the vibrations by tilting the remote control. It also stimulates your perineum (a.k.a. your taint or grundle) along with your prostate. 

These are cheap and easy cuffs for when you only have 30 minutes to restrain and plow that guy from Scruff. 

These are the big boy version. The Daddy version. Cuffs made from real leather if you got coins to spare. 

b-Vibe’s amazing butt plugs simulate the feeling of getting a rim job (a.k.a. analingus). It’s like, who even needs a boyfriend anymore?  

This toy stimulates your rectum, prostate, and perineum. It really gets up in there. With the Duke, you might have orgasms so intense, you’ll hear „Rain on Me“ and see rainbows instead of stars.

I love me a glass dildo. (Don’t worry, there’s no way for it to shatter while in use.) Pro tip: Put it in the freezer to make it cold—you’ll experience brand-new sensations!

You want to feel full? Like really full? Then I’d recommend this inflatable butt plug. (Read my full review of it here

Have your partner slowly pull these bad boys out of you while you climax. (Head here to learn more about anal beads!)

If you’re into pup play, then you need to have a puppy tail. (It’s a butt plug that has a tail sticking it out of it.) And tie dye is apparently back in style!

If you like when your partner pinches and bites your nipples, I’d recommend these industrial-grade nipple clamps.

Oxballs are your go-to for more advanced cock rings. In addition to squeezing your shaft, this cocksling stretches your testicles down and away from you.

Some guys love having their testes pulled and separated. If you’re into that kinda thing, then look no further than this toy from Oxballs.

SPANK ME DADDY. (But actually, if you do use a flogger, please learn what you’re doing. You can hurt someone if you whip wrong. Here’s an article on how to flog properly.) 

If you’re into being a good little sub whose sole purpose is to satisfy Daddy, you can put on this chastity cage.  

If submission is your thing, you can also have a ball gag in your mouth. I like these options from Mr. S Leather, but you can also head here for more great ball gag options. 

First off, love the name of this toy. This double-edged dildo is great when you two get home and realize that you were both lying when you said you were vers. Instead of bumping purses, stick the Buddy Expander Double Header into your booties and then bump uglies. 

Anal hooks are great for couples who love playing with power dynamics. One end goes around your neck. The other know where. An anal hook forces the bottom to stay in a certain position—if you try to move, you will be in pain.

Die Toiletten auf den A6-Raststätten bei Münsingen wurden geschlossen, weil sie beliebte Orte für schnellen Sex unter Männern waren. Wie das abläuft, erzählt einer, der auf Raststätten verkehrt.

Einer der Rastplätze im Raum Zürich, der als Treff für schnellen Sex angepriesen wird.

Die beiden WC-Anlagen in Münsingen wurden nun geschlossen. Auf anderen Raststätten der Schweiz ist hingegen immer noch viel los – der anonyme Sex unter Männern ein ungebrochenes Bedürfnis. Vereinzelt finden sich auch Frauen an diesen Treffpunkten.

Robbie* (55), gelernter Koch aus der Ostschweiz, ist homosexuell und verkehrt seit Jahren in der Szene. Auf Raststätten geht er vor allem im Sommer, bei schönem Wetter und mit neuen Bekanntschaften. «Ich verabrede mich mit Männern in einem Gaychat und treffe diese dann dort», erzählt er 20 Minuten.

Die Toiletten auf den Raststätten sagen ihm gar nicht zu, «zu schmutzig», er weicht eher auf die Wäldchen in der Nähe der Raststätten aus. Sei man ausser Sichtweite, gehe es dann zur Sache. «Natürlich machen wir das immer so, dass uns Spaziergänger nicht sehen können, denn Kinder sollten das nicht zu Gesicht kriegen», sagt Robbie.

Die Toiletten auf den A6-Raststätten bei Münsingen wurden geschlossen, weil sie beliebte Orte für schnellen Sex unter Männern waren. Wie das abläuft, erzählt einer, der auf Raststätten verkehrt.

39 Sex Toys Every Gay Man Should Try

I’ll be honest guys, I did not enjoy sex toys when I first came on the scene. I was a freshman in college, brand new to sex, and all my friends, left and right, were exploring their anal pleasures with dildos. “It helps you get used to the feeling,” one guy told me in his dorm room. “I go at my own speed so that when the real thing comes, I’m ready.”

Our hopes were soon met. I started college a few months after Grindr hit the app store. We all quickly discovered sex via the glowing orange icons on our phones. This was my initial understanding of toys: They were ass-trainers, a second-hand way of experiencing the “real thing,” and no matter how nice they were, they were inferior to flesh and blood. I believed “sex toys” for gay men stopped at dildos and prostate stimulators, and I did not consider them legitimate sex play all on their own.

[RELATED: „30 Kinky Terms Every Gay Man Needs to Know“]

In the years since, I have learned that there are many gay sex toys out there beyond anal toys, although these are certainly the majority, and anal toys toys are more than substitutions for penises. Some toys, like the Ass Hammer (see #28), deliver mind-blowing sensations that a penis simply cannot replicate. Nothing will ever replace traditional sex — sex toys simply expand the experiential buffet of sexual pleasure to its true, limitless margin.

As you begin your toy sexploration, you will find that, although there are endless naughty novelty stores in the world, good toys are surprisingly hard to find. You could scour the Internet or make expensive pilgrimages to your nearest big city to visit a sexual retailer catered exclusively to gay men — nearly every big city has one — or you could start with this list of 39 sex toys you have to try, some of which are for beginners and others for seasoned adventurists. Welcome to Toyland, and enjoy the ride.

39 Sex Toys Every Gay Man Should Try

9. Thug Double Fucker

Blessed be the three men that first discovered double penetration — DP is one of the greatest gifts that gay men have been given. But if you’re trying to have a two-person, monogamous relationship, or if you are not quite ready to be double-fucked by two guys, try this toy. It would probably fall into the sex toy category of “cock extenders,” although it does not extend or expand the top’s penis. Rather, it attaches a dildo to his dick and gives you the opportunity to “take two” without a third man present. Oxballs makes some of the world’s best anal toys, great for all us pigs into extreme ass play. 

9. Thug Double Fucker

39. Sex Music

This may be a surprising cap to this list — no one ever talks about tunes as a sexual enhancer. Background music not only sets the mood, but it is also one of the cheapest sexual accoutrements you will buy, and certainly one of the most effective.

Mr. S Leather sells album mixes from one of the North American leather world’s favorite DJs, M. Arana, who has been a repeat guest at the Folsom Street Fair and DJed the San Francisco Leather Ball, the Mr. Fire Island Leather Contest, the Mr. East Coast Rubber Contest in New York, and other sexually-charged events. His mixes sound like darkrooms and play areas and immediately make you feel nasty. And much to my surprise, his albums are available on iTunes alongside other sex music-makers like Tony Barre and the old-school Butt Boy (known for tracks like “Phallidance” and “The Sling”).

If you’re looking for something that sounds less like a dungeon and more like a dance club, try the young LA-based EDM artist TR/ST — his sexed-up, mopey tracks like “Are We Arc?” on his recent album Joyland are great for a relaxed fisting session. 

Hungry for more? Don’t miss „36 Fetishes Every Gay Man Should Know“ and „30 Kinky Terms Every Gay Man Needs to Know.“

39. Sex Music

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Das Paradies für Party und Strand gilt als einer der Gay Hotspots der Welt. Die meisten Gay Bars und Clubs liegen in der von Ibiza Stadt sowie in Figueretas. Der Ort gilt als Epizentrum der Insel, besonders im alten Hafenviertel sowie um die Calle de la Virgen herum. Nicht nur die Gay Community trifft sich hier. Wenn die Top Clubs mit ihren Paraden am Abend durch die Straßen ziehen, sieht man hübsche Go-Go-Boys und extravaganten Dragqueens mit Glitzer und Glamour. Clubnächte auf Ibiza darf man sich auf keinen Fall entgehen lassen.

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Im Ägäischen Meer liegt die griechische Insel Mykonos. Viele romantische Badebuchten, glasklares Wasser und Orte der Entspannung laden im Sommer die Gay-Szene Europas auf die Insel. Zum bekanntesten Gay Strand der Insel zählt der Seinen Namen verdankt das Viertel seiner auffälligen Architektur: weiße Häuser mit farbigen Holztüren und Fenstern prägen das Bild, welches an den Baustil Venedigs erinnert.

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Things to consider

Homophobia refers to fear, prejudice, or discrimination toward persons who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual. It can take many forms, from name-calling and bullying to serious crimes like assault and murder. It is not okay for people to be treated this way because of their sexuality. Talk to someone in law enforcement if you are being physically or verbally abused.

The process of developing and experimenting with your sexuality can be hard and confusing. It may cause stress and anxiety. It could lead to a period of depression. If this happens, it is important to talk to others and get help. It may help to join a support group so you don’t feel alone in the process. Keep in mind that every type of sexuality is normal and okay. There is nothing to be ashamed about.

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Über den Autor und weitere Mitwirkende

Juno Dawson ist die Autorin mehrerer internationaler Bestsellerromane und Sachbücher. Für »How to Be Gay« erhielt sie 2015 den Luchs des Monats September von Die Zeit und Radio Bremen. Außerdem wurde sie mit der berühmten Auszeichnung ›Queen of Teen‹ geehrt. Ihr Roman »Meat Market – Schöner Schein« gewann den YA Book Prize 2020. Ihre Bücher wurden in 25 Sprachen übersetzt, und einige davon werden für eine Verfilmung vorbereitet.

Can people be forced or convinced to change from gay to straight, or the other way around?

No. Some people feel pressured to change their sexuality. This is not possible. Trying to be someone you aren’t can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. It can be harmful to your mental, physical, and emotional health.

I think I might be gay. How do I know if I really am?

Over time, you will figure out if you are gay, straight, neither, or both. You may experiment to see what makes you comfortable and happy. The process may take a while. Your decision may be hard for you and/or others close to you to accept. It is important to be honest with yourself and with others.

What does “coming out” mean?

The process of telling people about one’s sexual orientation is often referred to as “coming out.” This process can be easy or hard. The phrase “in the closet” may be used to refer to someone who is gay, lesbian, or bisexual, but hasn’t told friends and family members yet.