Q: “I’ve never paid much attention to my boyfriend’s balls (or anyone’s testicles for that matter). and never thought it was that big of a deal. The other day when my boyfriend and I were hooking up, he nervously asked me to play with his balls. I totally froze up because I had no idea what the heck to do. Testicles have always seemed so strange to me. I know they’re really sensitive, and I don’t want to hurt him. Any tips for what to do with balls?!”
A: Thanks for your question! Testicles can be perplexing to a lot of people who don’t have them, but they’re really not that complicated. Testicles are so frequently left out of the fun that even the simplest licks or touches can leave the recipient breathless. Here are the dos and don’ts of playing with your partner’s balls, plus some ideas for how to stimulate them.
Hot Legs (Short Gay Film)
Short Film produced by Underdog Productions (Pty) Ltd in 1995.
Note: This film contains some male nudity, contains material of a gay nature, and may be disturbing to younger viewers. It also contains some fast flash shots.
Written & Directed by Luiz DeBarossProduced by: Marc Schwinges
Starring:Tim: David DucasDave: Gerrie BarnardTim Jnr: Glen FineDave Jnr: Leon WeedKid One: Miguel BarrosKid Tow: Marcus MuddPoliceman One: Carlo GoertzPoliceman Two: Criag KellyMother: Mariana CarrilloSon: Sipho Khuzwago Moyo
Director of Photography: Peter PohorskyProduction Manager: Brendan RiceProduction Assistant: David HeckerFocus Puller: Greg PoissonGrip: Tony Slater
Sound: Jeremy HattinghSound: Ian MillerBoom Operator: Sean Kelly
Senior Make-up Artist: Adrienne CohenMake-Up Artist: Ionka Nel
Runners: Wayne Fick, Paul Hanrahan, Hal Couzens, Bronwyn Vermeulen, Oliver Galloway.
Post Production Advisor: Hal CouzensNon-Liner Editor: Llewelyn Roderick
Executive Producers: Marc Schwinges, Catherine Bester & Charlotte Bauer
5 Reasons Gay Men Have Bigger Balls Than Straight Men
Before we launch into this diatribe of „Who has bigger jingle balls, gay or straight men?“ let me first set the record straight.
That being said, let’s roar full steam ahead (no pun intended) and discover why gay men’s „jingle balls“ rule! Straight guys don’t get offended or feel threatened by this topic. I’m not here to make you feel small, even though a fair share of you seem to think that’s your inalienable right to make gay men feel less than. Let’s draw a truce for the next few paragraphs and see what we might learn about one another. Fair enough? Ok, onto the list! 3 Ways Gay Men Help A Lady’s Love Life
Now before you start pounding your chests and puffing out your tail feathers Mr. Macho and agreeing with what I just said, understand this! Gay men don’t just embrace our feminine because we like our tails played with. Nope, there’s so much more to us than the sexual sickdome you straight guys envision in your mind about what gay men are all about and do in bed. Can Women Be Trusted to Uncage Their Sexuality?
The final cut
Some people can identify a defining moment in their childhood – an incident that brings an idea to mind which is then indelibly fixed in the psyche. For Gelding – an adopted alias for the American internet guru to all wanna-be eunuchs – that moment came when he was 12 years old and thrown against an older boy in a packed bus. „Do that again and I’ll crush ‚em,“ said the older boy, grabbing his genitals. The pain was as piercing as the pleasure. And so began a lifetime’s quest to be castrated.
In the UK, self-motivated castration mainly exists only in the most extreme S&M scene, while in America those aspiring to be castrated comprise a burgeoning and divergent tribe made up of both gay and straight men. Men who want to be castrated fit no stereotype, have no common neuroses or childhood experience. Some are androgynous types (thin and underdeveloped) who want to remain in a prepubescent, asexual phase, others are eroto-phobes who don’t like to feel driven by their libidos and want to become surgically tranquillised. Some want to be feminised, a few – known as nullos or smoothies – want to become nullified by having their penis removed along with their testicles.
In Gelding’s experience a quarter of those who get castrated continue to regulate their libidos with testosterone, which allows them to have full sex. But what compulsion drives grown men to be castrated in the first place? According to Gelding, for most men the desire to be castrated stems from puberty but does not develop into a fixation for at least 10 years.
This was certainly his experience. Now in his early 50s, he has been without his testicles for six years and is keen to point out that he has no desire to be feminised. Growing up in rural New York State, he knew he was gay from childhood, but it was only in his mid-20s, while working for the military in a top security position, that he discovered the gay S&M scene and a world where castration was honoured rather than abhorred.
One of his first boyfriends was a cutter – a man who worked in the netherworld of the gay S&M scene, cutting off men’s testicles, consensually and safely. By 1991 Gelding’s testicles had become an unbearable affront to him. The idea of cutting aroused him sexually, but more than that, there was an aching need to be rid of something that had begun to take a stranglehold of his life.
At first he tried to cut off the offending items himself by using rubber bands as a tourniquet and drenching his balls in ice water. But after an hour he ran out of adrenaline and went into clinical shock. In hospital a horrified A&E surgeon castigated him for trying to remove healthy tissue. Three years later he went to a cutter in California and got rid of them safely and efficiently. „I’ve never felt more myself, more complete or happy,“ he says, unemotionally.
In order to receive the testosterone that he requires to keep him functioning as a man (he has occasional erectile problems but can still ejaculate) he has devised a cover story which makes him eligible for medical treatment. The story is posted up on the web and tells how he lost his balls against his will in a gay S&M episode which went horribly wrong. „My cover story also means that if someone finds out I’m castrated they view me as a victim, or a brave stalwart rather than a deviant or psychotic person,“ he explains. As well as resurrecting the libido, testosterone prevents osteoporosis and reduces the flab that castration causes to the hips and breasts. (On the down side, it also increases the risk of prostate cancer.)
A self-confessed mother hen, Gelding has for four years been dispensing advice on his website to men who want, or think they want, to be castrated. In that time he’s had 5,000 enquiries from both gay and straight men, all believing that their obsession is unique. Consultant psychiatrist Dr Russell Reid, of Hillingdon Hospital in west London, identifies castration fixation as „highly disturbed behaviour, in mainly gay men, whose self-hatred is directed towards their genitals“.
Gelding’s response to this interpretation is equivocal. „Yes, it’s true that no normal person would do that, but then given that homosexuality has always been called a sickness, what’s normal?“ Reid’s experience of this tender topic is predominantly with transsexuals (some of whom even castrate themselves) as well as with men who are hypersexed. „These men are led by their erect penises and some are driven to offend. Being castrated can be a huge release because they become pre-pubital, and sex is no longer an overwhelming preoccupation.“
He finds the origins of the fixation perplexing but speculates that it might be a case of the fear of castration turned on its head to become a uncontrollable craving.
But eunuchs are nothing new. For 4,000 years they have represented some of the most marginalised and most honoured in society. In ancient India, eunuchs advised princes and guarded their harems, and the Biblical Daniel was a eunuch who rose to become prime minister of Babylon and later Persia. More recently there have been the Italian castrati of the 19th century – boys who sacrificed their manhood for the sake of singing careers in the opera houses of Europe. Today there are the cross-dressing Hijras in India and religious extremists such as members of the Russian Skoptsy sect who see the testicles as an organ of weakness. The medical profession understands this „syndrome“ only in relation to transgender reassignment surgery or as part of body dysmorphia (a syndrome in which people become fixated with having a limb amputated). But Gelding disregards the connection with the body modification scene, believing the desire to be castrated is far more complex.
Nor can he relate to the transgendered, „some of whom get castrated just to get on to a gender reassignment programme“. He is also reluctant to help those whose desire to be castrated hinges on the ritual of cutting: „Because if that’s the overriding issue then most of these people are into fantasy and role play and don’t have a true fixation.“ When castration is a true fixation, Gelding believes it is vital that surgeons treat the problem in a much more educated fashion. „There isn’t a doctor in the world informed in this area, because nothing will justify to a physician the removal of healthy tissue.“
There are several doctors in the US who will surgically remove testicles, but seldom before getting their patients to sign a consent form saying it is for gender reassignment. Dr Felix Spector, who advertises castration on his business card, has become something of a celebrity in the murky world of eunochdom, having performed his first castration in 1957. But the vast majority are amateur cutters, subject to prosecution for practising medicine without a licence, and desperately sought after on the net by men in urgent need.
Although these cutters offer a necessary service (reducing the instance of self-castration), for the most part they too find the act of cutting erotic. Talking about doing a DIY castration, one cutter described the „lovely crunching sound“ a Burdizzo (a castration device) makes „like biting into fresh celery“. Burdizzos, elastators and other animal castration devices can all be purchased on the net. The internet has become a sanctuary to these would-be eunuchs. There are numerous websites providing information, and chat lines link men from all over the world who share this compulsion.
When Gelding was delivering himself into the hands of the cutter there were no such support services and perhaps that’s why it wasn’t until he was in his 40s that he finally did what he had always wanted to do. Since then, he says, he has found some kind of inner peace, but at a price. He would have preferred to have been one of those who rationalised their way out of it, something he encourages all his correspondents to do. He considers those who manage it to be the lucky ones.
The others must join him among one of the most disenfranchised of groups. Men who are ridiculed, despised and misunderstood by a society which will never be able to make any sense of why they feel incomplete with their testicles and yet complete without them.
Hidden Love: Modern Day Eunuchs is on Channel 4 next Tuesday at 10pm
How to Pick Up Gay Men
This article was co-authored by Imad Jbara. Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. ‚NYC Wingwoman‘ offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth. There are 22 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 1,267,323 times.
Meeting gay guys is hard. First you have to determine if the guy you’re interested in is gay or straight. Then you have to approach him and strike up a conversation. And that’s assuming you have the confidence to walk up to an attractive stranger. Take some time to build up your confidence, and before you know it walking up to that cute guy at the bar won’t be a problem.
„I Still Unload“: This Man Is a „Nullo“ Who Removed His Penis and Balls
In 1994, a South Florida man who goes by the name Gelding was surgically castrated. In 2011, he had his penis removed as well. He’s a „nullo“: A cisgender man who removes his external genitalia completely as a form of body modification, and he recently agreed to answer our questions—from „why?“ to „what do balls taste like?“
Gelding is a nudist and describes himself as a submissive bear. Apart from his desire to use a pseudonym, he let it all hang out (so to speak) when I reached out to him and graciously answered every question I had.
Is nullo your preferred term to describe yourself and others like you who are castrated and have removed their penis?
Yes, the reason that we use that it is not transgender. It’s simply nullification of what you’ve got. A friend of mine Mack in San Francisco likes to use the term „mascunull“, because I remain as masculine as they come with fur and so forth. But I no longer have the parts.
What are some misconceptions people have about nullos?
A few men don’t know their own physiology to the point where they think if they lose their balls they can’t come any more. And that’s false. If you look at the physiology you see that the fluids are made by the seminal vesicles and the prostate. Very little of the fluid and the content is produced in the testes. I still unload.
But the active ingredient for impregnating someone isn’t there.
Do you get a lot of people who think you’re trying to become a woman?
Absolutely. And it’s mostly the medical profession who sees the sexes as either male or female. And anyone who wants to alter any part of that is in some way suffering from gender dysphoria. They don’t like themselves for some reason and they want to change gender. And that’s absolutely false.
It’s not a dysphoria. I see it in the positive way of working toward something, rather than away from something. Many of the guys instead of putting a negative feel on it see it as a positive. Being castrated is a positive to them. Rather than removing something that they dislike, they are moving in the direction that they want. I went through a long set of psychological evaluation sessions with a psychologist here in town, because that was necessary in order to have the penis removed.
You’ve previously discussed your 1994 castration. However, I didn’t find anything on your penis removal in 2011. Can you talk about that?
I knew I was uncomfortable in having frankly large male parts. I would quite often sit on my own balls because they were loose unless I wore something tight and held them in I would sit on them and squash them. That got me into trouble playing soccer in college when they forced us to wear these hard plastic cups. What happened was I fell on a guy’s upright knee with the weight of another player behind me, so two of us fell on the knee. The knee happened to hit the middle of the plastic cup and imploded and tore me up. I was severely injured.
The doctor saved everything but over a period of time the nerves gave me some problems and I had aches in my testicles all the time. When I was in the military service they tried doing a varicose vein removal but that didn’t help, it just made matters worse. They thought I was suffering from varicose veins. So after leaving the service I had them removed. And that removed that little problem but I still had the nerve sensations in the penis which woke me up at night. So I could get erect, but it was painful.
So I talked with my urologist and he said the only treatment for that was to make it numb, which is very dangerous because if you make something like that numb then you don’t know if it’s infected for some reason. Or remove it, but to do that he needs to cover his ass and asked for a psychological evaluation. And my own doctor is a professor at Nova Southeastern University here in. She is the most brilliant doctor I’ve ever met. So, I asked her about this problem and she was very forthright and said „well, we’ll have to treat you“. She didn’t consider it something that was wrong with me, she said „we have to investigate.“ I went to see a psychiatrist and he spent a good 90 minutes with me and said „yes, I have just the person that can work with you.“ So the psychologist did a battery of personality tests and said „you’re perfectly fine, your only problem is that you’ve got these physical problems which work on your nerves.“ And I said „yeah.“ And he said „it also works with your personality“ because I’m a gay submissive and I always have been and it wasn’t working right. So in order to to fix it I worked toward a goal of having things removed. And that was it. I’m working in a positive way to solve my own personal problem.
But was castration something you were contemplating prior to the injury?
Yes. For whatever reason I was always embarrassed by the size of what I had. It didn’t fit my personality.
Do you remember when you the fantasy to remove your testicles first occurred?
I had a baby face in high school, there was one of these bullies and he said „you have a man’s equipment but you’re still a boy“ and he squeezed my balls in the shower. He was on the football team, I was on the soccer team showering together and he said „you shouldn’t have such big equipment“ so he squeezed my balls and at that point it was just a fantasy for me. So how about getting rid of them for some reason?
It became a fetish thing where I would do sort of more self destructive things with them like putting rubber bands around them and needles through the balls and whatnot. It’s a progression which a lot of guys go through. It’s something that works on them and they say „Well, how about if we just have them off? Then I won’t be bothered by this constant urge to hurt them“. And this is where a psychologist gets into the dysphoria. It’s very difficult to distinguish whether it’s a dislike for something or instead you’re working towards something else. I always thought when I was on the beach—I was also on the swim team—and we had Speedos, it was difficult to pack everything in frankly. I would be embarrassed and everybody was looking and here I am and I’ve got the biggest package and I’m not the biggest guy and I got a whole lot of looks from everybody.
I had a big dick, it got damaged and I was a bottom. I didn’t want to use it, I got pushed into using it, I had to take all sorts of medications and was tired of being somebody else’s tool.
Broadly speaking, how can someone know that being a nullo is something they actually want to go through with as opposed to something they fantasize about?
That’s something really for a psychologist to answer, but in talking to all the guys that I’ve been talking with, they try to come up with all sorts of different rationalizations to justify it. In my case, my medical situation really didn’t justify it because I was just uncomfortable with what I had. It wasn’t medically necessary. But I felt that I would be much more comfortable having the issues of having the sensation but not being able to use it well. It was something like a guy having a useless appendage and it’s something he has to carry around, and it becomes baggage after a while.
If someone starts/botches the process on their own, what would you recommend they do? Should people use a cover story to avoid getting in trouble?
No. Go to the emergency room. Today, they have been exposed to a lot more of the literature out there than they were 20 years ago. They’re not going to be institutionalized. I mean years ago they used to institutionalize guys that were gay.
How would you say the breakdown is between gay and straight men for nullos?
I would have to say it’s mostly gays. I don’t know of a straight guy who became a nullo.
You had said in a previous interview that for castrations it’s about a two to one for gay to straight men that decide to do it.
I’ve heard of a couple of straight guys who decided that they were making too many babies so they had their balls off so they could take testosterone and continue. I know quite a few bodybuilders both gay and straight whose testes have shrunk because of the steroids they are taking which are bad for their health. So they got castrated and now they’re on medically injected testosterone which is good for them. It’s not as harmful as oral steroids are or some of the other shit that they’re pumping into themselves.
How would you recommend people do their penectomy and castration?
In the last couple of years, my friend Mack from San Francisco ran into Dr. Crane from Brownstein & Crane and he met him, and I don’t know how the two of them had the discussion, and then I had a phone interview with Dr. Crane and I explained my situation with him and now Dr. Crane is no longer doing just transgender type of procedures but [also] genital modifications.
The protocol that the doctors use for transgender people is called the Harry Benjamin protocol. So for example Dr. Reed in Miami, before you go to his clinic you have to take female hormones for six months and show some development of breasts and whatnot, some feminine characteristics before he will deal with you. And why do that when you simply want to get the genitals removed?
If anything, wouldn’t additional testosterone be what you’d need after castration?
Men who get castrated, they do get depressed if they don’t start fairly right away on testosterone. Because the falling hormone causes hot flashes first of all, and then the loss of libido. You lose all interest in sex and everything else.
Are there any changes that occur to the body as a result?
Body changes are minimal really. If you lose your balls, you won’t lose all your hair.
Voice doesn’t change, no. The larynx is a hard tissue, and the voice box and everything else is a hard tissue. But the timbre of your voice is a factor of the larynx. I sang in the college choir, I know about these things.
One thing I noticed while reading testimonials is that many people seem to try their hand at castration and penectomy but then go to the doctor only if it goes wrong. How much of this would you say is due to the medical profession’s reluctance to remove healthy body parts and how much is due to people’s general fear of discussing this type of thing with their doctor or therapist?
You know about the Hippocratic oath right? „First do no harm“. They have to be convinced that what they are doing is in fact an improvement on your health. Which is why the surgeon is requesting a psychological evaluation. And the psychologist comes back and says „yeah, he’s going to be uncomfortable where he is, he’s going to be more improved, better mood, better this, better that“ and so forth. So from a totality point of view, it’s going to get better after he gets modified.
And let me tell you my mood has improved dramatically since going nullo. I don’t miss the baggage. I don’t miss the fact that I get into sex with a guy, he expects me to perform in some ways, now he doesn’t have that expectation. In fact, quite a few guys find it very arousing that they don’t have to have that distraction.
Another thing is, guys who are aroused by my situation are very aroused. I’ve got some guys who are pursuing me a lot. And they just like this idea, because there’s nothing there to be in the way. Face to face fucking is very pleasurable. And when they’re doing that I actually wet their stomachs with my fluids. And this one guy, he likes to go down on me. He’s a bi guy and he said he does this with his girlfriend so he goes down there and starts licking me. And he just loves that idea. He loves the idea that I have a hairy chest and what is to him a very tiny vagina that he can’t fuck but he can lick and he can enjoy being the male role. I’ve even got a straight guy here in town who likes to fuck me because I don’t have any male genitals and he doesn’t feel threatened by that.
One of the most obvious cons is I have to sit to pee, or I have to use one of these female urination devices. It’s an odd funnel shaped device that you can use if there’s only a men’s urinal. Also, some times I get urinary tract infections. There’s a shorter path to the bladder through what I’ve got now. So I’ve got to be very careful and keep it clean. I can’t get guy fingering me down there because it’s the inside of the urethra so it’s sensitive.
Do you ever get „phantom dick“ syndrome when you are reaching for it out of habit?
A lot of the nerves are bundled on the base of the penis where most of the sensation comes from. It’s not along the length of penis but on the base of the penis is where most of the sensations are. And I wake up in the morning with a feeling that I have a big dick that’s erect.
In your experience, what percentage of castrations are done by non-medical professionals? How about penectomies? What are the safety risks for each? Would you say one is more difficult than the other for a layman?
I would above three quarters [by non-medical professionals]. And that number is lower than say twenty years ago. There are not as many today.
The amateur cutters. There are a lot of wannabes that are successful that manage to stay below the radar of the authorities because they run into trouble because of their lack of skill. Because if you mess up there are problems there. But if you’re very careful in choosing the men you work with so that you have very low risk involved, which is age (you don’t do old men), you don’t do very overweight men, you don’t do men who smoke, who don’t take drugs and anything else. If you take these fairly low-risk guys and you do it well, then there won’t be any problems. Once these guys get castrated, most of them simply become very private and they don’t brag about things. They sort of withdraw from pursuing anything else because they’ve reached their goal.
So is the the percentage of amateur cutters lower today due to more people with medical training performing castrations?
Yes. They are finding that there is a living in this if they do it among other things.
How about with penectomies? I would imagine (and hope!) there’s fewer amateurs performing these.
Almost all of them are done by medical professionals. That’s tricky, yeah. More tricky. It’s sort of major surgery and it’s been done by some amateurs. They’re fairly good with their surgical techniques. I was actually at one and the guy did a fairly good job but it took a long time and it was a very involved, very slow process. I’ve heard of only three or four done by cutters in the past and they have left active participation in this.
When you do a penectomy you have to re-route the urethra, yes?
Yes, what I did with this is I knew where I was going with this in 1999 and I contacted my urologist in Hollywood [Florida], an old guy who was just about to retire and I talked to him very carefully and said „in the future I’m going to want the penis removed“. And he said „OK, we can do a urethral relocation in the base of the penis“.
So how do things like ejaculation and urination work when you’ve rerouted the urethra and no longer use the penis for them?
With ejaculation, just before you reach the peak, all the fluid is there at the base of the penis, and right before orgasm happens it’s the urethra that acts like a rail gun and expels the semen. So when you don’t use the penis, there’s no force behind it. It just flows out.
Quite a few [cutters] collect them. They preserve them, they put them in jars. One guy embedded his in plastic and now it’s an ornament somewhere. This typically happens when you’re in a master/slave dominant/submissive relationship and the submissive gives up his balls to his partner for keepsake. And then you get into this S&M thing where the dominant partner controls and regulates the libido of the submissive. Especially if the submissive is on say androgel where the turnaround time from full sexiness to limp dick is about on the order of a week. The reaction time for the transdermal is very fast. Whereas the injections wear off after two to three weeks. The half life of the testosterone I’m taking is eight days.
You mentioned consumption of body parts in another interview. Is that for real?
It is for real, yes. Some guys do that. Think about the Testy Festy, where they go there and every year there they have concentration of people who are into eating sheep and bull nuts and rocky mountain oysters. I know a few cutters that don’t charge anything for their work, the only charge they have is that they get the nuts afterwards.
Yes, as a matter of fact they do taste a little like chicken. Actually I would have to say they taste as much like chicken as they do roast pork. But it all depends on how you cook them. If you cook them in salted butter then they might be saltier than they might otherwise be.
I went to a cutter’s place and he was having an event where he cut a number of guys and I was assisting him there. And what I did is I cooked them up in some butter with some mushrooms. Quite good with a nice red merlot wine.
Jockstraps and Gay Men – A Closer Look
I’m a gay man who loves jockstraps and not ashamed to admit it. The hard truth is I’ve been addicted to jockstraps for most of my life, dating all the way back to my freshman year in high school.
I’ll never forget the time I was in the locker room and saw the captain of our football team gearing up for a game and slipping on a cotton navy jock.
There’s really no way to describe it except to say that in that moment, I knew that I was forever going to be a “Friend of Dorothy” (so to speak).
Because of my obsession to this manly attire, I feel well qualified in penning this piece. The first jockstrap was invented way back in 1874 by a Chicago based sporting company called Sharp and Smith (NAAH, 2019).
Gay Men and Jock Straps
All of this leads us to the main reasons why so many gay men love jockstraps. Notice I said “many” and not all, because I don’t want to paint with a wide brush.
That said, jockstraps are popular with us gays because they channel a masculine vibe. I know that when I see a guy in one, my mind turns to muscle, hair and athletic skills.
But I also think jocks are popular because they help to make a fashion statement, regardless if the guy identifies as a top or bottom.
In many ways, the jock harkens back to an earlier time in history where men of the ancient Roman Army wore loin cloths. Allowing for easy access, swallowing the seed of a fellow solider was seen as a sign of bravery. I can’t help but wonder if there is not some form of cellular memory at play?
Some types are more popular than others. For example, a lot of guys prefer mesh-type jocks (also known as sheer) that allow visibility as part of the dynamic. I am putting a link to Amazon to show an example.
The brand of the jockstrap a gay man wears can also hold significance. A Calvin Klein jock may vibe out a certain type of energy when compared to something made by the folks at Pump (see Amazon).
Jockstraps also are functional, particularly for gay gymgoers who prefer not to show a VPL (visible panty line) or have their junk crowded by traditional briefs.
Because jocks offer room, the need to freeball is a non-issue. And with just a few dabs of fresh ball lotion, the genitals can be succulent and airy for hours!
Finally, jockstraps offer some gay men a hassle-free pathway to backdoor action. What could be more wonderful than playing the part of the catcher and not having to worry about underwear getting in the way of sudden penetration?
So popular are jockstraps among us gays that entire Instagram accounts have been created in their honor. An example can be found in jockstrapsunday.
Speaking only for myself, I have found that sniffing the cotton of a well-worn jockstrap to be an incredible turn on. In fact, the mustier the jock, the better! Perhaps you can relate?
Well, there you have it – a quick history of jockstraps with a gay vibe. Just for fun, I am going to place a jockstrap poll below that asks you about this topic.
Do wear jockstraps? Are you attracted to guys who wear them? Share your thoughts by taking part in our poll!
National Museum of American History. (2020). Trade catalogs from Sharp and Smith. Retrieved from National Museum of American History:
Urban Dictionary . (2019). Jock definition. Retrieved from Urban Dictionary :
39 Sex Toys Every Gay Man Should Try
I’ll be honest guys, I did not enjoy sex toys when I first came on the scene. I was a freshman in college, brand new to sex, and all my friends, left and right, were exploring their anal pleasures with dildos. “It helps you get used to the feeling,” one guy told me in his dorm room. “I go at my own speed so that when the real thing comes, I’m ready.”
Our hopes were soon met. I started college a few months after Grindr hit the app store. We all quickly discovered sex via the glowing orange icons on our phones. This was my initial understanding of toys: They were ass-trainers, a second-hand way of experiencing the “real thing,” and no matter how nice they were, they were inferior to flesh and blood. I believed “sex toys” for gay men stopped at dildos and prostate stimulators, and I did not consider them legitimate sex play all on their own.
[RELATED: „30 Kinky Terms Every Gay Man Needs to Know“]
In the years since, I have learned that there are many gay sex toys out there beyond anal toys, although these are certainly the majority, and anal toys toys are more than substitutions for penises. Some toys, like the Ass Hammer (see #28), deliver mind-blowing sensations that a penis simply cannot replicate. Nothing will ever replace traditional sex — sex toys simply expand the experiential buffet of sexual pleasure to its true, limitless margin.
As you begin your toy sexploration, you will find that, although there are endless naughty novelty stores in the world, good toys are surprisingly hard to find. You could scour the Internet or make expensive pilgrimages to your nearest big city to visit a sexual retailer catered exclusively to gay men — nearly every big city has one — or you could start with this list of 39 sex toys you have to try, some of which are for beginners and others for seasoned adventurists. Welcome to Toyland, and enjoy the ride.
9. Thug Double Fucker
Blessed be the three men that first discovered double penetration — DP is one of the greatest gifts that gay men have been given. But if you’re trying to have a two-person, monogamous relationship, or if you are not quite ready to be double-fucked by two guys, try this toy. It would probably fall into the sex toy category of “cock extenders,” although it does not extend or expand the top’s penis. Rather, it attaches a dildo to his dick and gives you the opportunity to “take two” without a third man present. Oxballs makes some of the world’s best anal toys, great for all us pigs into extreme ass play.
39. Sex Music
This may be a surprising cap to this list — no one ever talks about tunes as a sexual enhancer. Background music not only sets the mood, but it is also one of the cheapest sexual accoutrements you will buy, and certainly one of the most effective.
Mr. S Leather sells album mixes from one of the North American leather world’s favorite DJs, M. Arana, who has been a repeat guest at the Folsom Street Fair and DJed the San Francisco Leather Ball, the Mr. Fire Island Leather Contest, the Mr. East Coast Rubber Contest in New York, and other sexually-charged events. His mixes sound like darkrooms and play areas and immediately make you feel nasty. And much to my surprise, his albums are available on iTunes alongside other sex music-makers like Tony Barre and the old-school Butt Boy (known for tracks like “Phallidance” and “The Sling”).
If you’re looking for something that sounds less like a dungeon and more like a dance club, try the young LA-based EDM artist TR/ST — his sexed-up, mopey tracks like “Are We Arc?” on his recent album Joyland are great for a relaxed fisting session.
Hungry for more? Don’t miss „36 Fetishes Every Gay Man Should Know“ and „30 Kinky Terms Every Gay Man Needs to Know.“
About This Article
Picking up a gay man can be intimidating, but if you play it cool, act confident, and be yourself, you’ve definitely got this! Approach guys who interest you with a simple “Hello” or a smile to get a conversation started. After you’ve introduced yourself to a guy, make small talk to get to know him a bit. When you’ve met someone you like, be honest and tell him that you’re into him. If you’re unsure whether he likes you, see if he makes eye contact, which is a sign he’s into you. Once you feel confident he likes you, be direct and ask whether he wants to do something together, like dancing in a club or meeting for coffee. Don’t forget to ask for his phone number so you can stay in touch. For tips on how to follow up with a guy after you’ve got his number, read on!Did this summary help you?YesNo
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Unregulated silicone injections have long been a concern for trans health advocates, but it’s spreading to other parts of the LGBTQ community — and it’s claiming lives
Unregulated silicone injections have long been a concern for trans health advocates, but it’s spreading to other parts of the LGBTQ community — and it’s claiming lives
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We actually embrace our tender, gentle-hearted, nurturing feminine energy and use it to release ourselves into acceptance of self. Yes it’s true, there are macho leather daddies, tough cowboys, hot men in uniform that are gay, but underneath it all, it took a lot of embracing the feminine energy to „come out“ and be in the truth of our homosexuality. That takes big jingle balls!
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Rob Waltman tried to tell his partner, Peter Dovak, he looked fine. He didn’t need to look any different. He especially didn’t need to inject himself with silicone to look bigger.
“Peter had the worst body dysmorphia out of anyone I ever knew,” Waltman tells Rolling Stone. “For years it was me shooting him down when he wanted to get silicone injections. He wanted to go to Mexico to get it done because he was too squeamish to inject himself and I sure as fuck wasn’t going to do it.”
But eventually Waltman gave in, and Dovak went to California to get his first injection in early 2017.
Four years ago, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons witnessed a disturbing and deadly trend among those within the trans community: many were injecting silicone into their bodies to achieve the perfect curvy look. But the trend — coined “pumping” — has continued a cause of concern as it makes its way to a group called “injectors,” which is a subgroup of “gainers,” gay men who want to appear larger. But there are dangers to the illegal practice, as often it’s not just silicone being injected into the body. And now, the gay community is calling for more visibility on the practice now that two internet-famous gainers within the last year — including Dovak — are dead.
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Among trans women, silicone injections are a well known way to achieve the ultimate body: curvy butt, thick thighs or larger breasts. But over the past five years, there have been a number of news reports exposing “pumping parties,” where groups of trans women pool their money to get injected with silicone, and the practice has now become more underground and more risky.
And much of that has to do with what’s being put in the mixture, which many times is unknown by those who receive the injections. In one Florida woman’s case, tire sealant and cement were both injected into her face.
It makes health experts reticent to even call the mixture “silicone,” at all.
“When people come in and say silicone, they don’t really know what they mean because it could be anything,” says Asa Radix, senior director of research and education for Callen-Lorde in New York City, an LGBTQ-focused health center, adding that some of his patients even had quick cement or peanut butter injected in them. “You’re desperate to change your body, people will go through great lengths [to get that done].”
Though the trend has appeared to decline recently — at least among trans women in New York, according to Radix — as quality care for trans-identifying people continues to grow, it’s now become more visible among the body modifying subculture of gainers.
The community lives online, mostly, with Tumblr blogs dedicated to idolizing bigger guts and monstrous testicles. But the community isn’t only based around fetish — the gainer community is well known to encourage body positivity, which is sorely needed among LGBTQ communities.
Compared to straight men, gay men are more prone to focus heavily on their weight and appearance. Gay men are also more prone to eating disorders and other body dysmorphia conditions that result in poor self image.
But until the gainer community became more popular with the introduction of a niche hook up app dedicated to them, “Grommr,” larger gay men had few places to find satisfaction or admirers of their bigger appearance. The site coins itself as a place, “for guys of a similar mindset — that bigger is, most often, better. It’s a site for all the guys who spent their childhoods stuffing pillows under their shirts or staring a little too long at big-bellied men in the supermarket.” (Grommr does not advocate for silicon injectors, which is a small portion of the gainer subculture, and the site’s online community has been adamantly against silicone enhancements.)
It’s this community where Dovak found most solace in his size. It’s also where he gained his internet fandom for growing huge, or “a monster,” as Waltman put it.
“He took more steroids and he definitely got bigger and stronger, but he never felt good about it,” Waltman says. “Whenever we left the gym, he would feel like shit about it. He would just flog himself over it. I eventually stopped working out harder than him so he could feel better about his progress.”
According to Waltman and other sources, Dovak reached out to an online acquaintance — another popular online gainer named Dylan Hafertepen — who told him where to go to get the illicit procedure. But the man Dovak went to wasn’t a doctor. (Hafertepen denies that he told Dovak where he could obtain the procedure.)
“He was just a guy who had a connection to black market, industrial-grade silicone,” Waltman says.
“Aside from being illegal, it’s clearly unsafe and these practitioners are not licensed physicians and they’re certainly not board certified plastic surgeons,” Dr. Malcolm Roth, the former president of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, told NPR in relation to trans pumping parties.
Silicone freely injected into the body travels through the bloodstream into the lungs, which can cause death.
Oneal Ron Morris, 30, was sentenced to 10 years for injecting a woman’s buttocks with a mixture of cement. Photo: Miami Gardens Police / Barcroft USA /Barcoft Media via Getty Images
Miami Gardens Police / Barcroft USA /Barcoft Media via Getty Images
Among the people dead from injecting silicon were Dovak who died last November, a Miami trans woman who died from injections to her butt (Oneal Ron Morris, the woman who injected her, was sentenced to 10 years for practicing medicine without a license), and last month, Tumblr gay celebrity Tank Hafertepen — the partner of the man Dovak allegedly went to for advice — died of a lung hemorrhage caused by, in part, silicon injection syndrome, according to his death certificate obtained by Rolling Stone.
“I talked to Tank about it and I expressed interest in getting work done myself,” says Donick Slaick, a friend of Hafertepen’s. “But no one ever told me I could die from it. I didn’t know that until I heard someone had died — and then Tank had died from it.”
There has been ambivalence among many in the online gainer and fetish world to discuss the problem of silicon injections to avoid the appearance of sex shaming. Multiple Tumblr posts that denounce silicone injections are met with pushback from those within the gainer community.
“My goal with this post isn’t to kink-shame anyone. My goal is simple: I want to make men aware that large-volume silicone injection [sic] can be fatal – not just during and immediately after the procedure – but as a ticking time bomb for decades to come,” wrote one Tumblr blogger, referring to Hafertepen’s death. “This is tragic and senseless and awful. No one deserves to die in pursuit of an aesthetic ‘ideal.’”
And the dangerous trend among gay men choosing to inject silicone has changed the perspective of clinicians and researchers like Radix, who proposed, “This is something that maybe we should recognize we need to be asking about this [among our male patients]. And not wait for people to disclose.”
For Dovak, though, the risks of injecting silicone were well-worth his pursuit of a bigger appearance.
After his fourth injection, he ended up in the hospital with respiratory issues, and soon after was placed in a medically induced coma. Three days later, Dovak’s mother was called and told her son was dying.
“Over the course of Tuesday evening I watched [his oxygen levels] go down and down and down. His lungs were so inflamed, they were pretty much useless,” Waltman says, adding that it took 90 seconds for Dovak’s heart to stop after they unplugged him from life support.
“I held him, and he got so cold and still,” Waltman says. “I read that 98 percent [of silicone injection syndrome patients] survive after a month. Not so lucky me that my partner wasn’t one of them.”
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