Ask Anna: I’m a gay man with a foot fetish. How do I meet men who are also into feet?

Ask Anna is a sex column. Because of the nature of the topic, some columns contain language some readers may find graphic.

I am a 27-year-old guy, single, and gay. I am very into guys’ feet, but in nine years of trying to meet other guys who like male feet, I’ve met exactly one other dude. I like the appearance, feel, smell, and taste of male feet (well, depending on the overall package and attractiveness of the other guy — some feet are just gross, after all — and unfortunately many, if not most, guys seem to share that view). Where and how do I meet other guys into male feet!? Craigslist was no help. The sex and social apps such as Grindr, Scruff, Growlr, Recon and Manhunt are useless for meeting guys specifically into feet. I heard there was a group in Chicago that has parties for guys into feet but it seems nobody knows anything about where or when it meets. — Felix Feets

I don’t know what specific party you’re talking about, but if “feet” has its own category on PornHub’s gay channel, then it can’t be impossible to find dudes into your kink. A cursory googling unearthed something called Chicago Footies Foot Party at Cell Block in Boystown. The next one is Jan. 26.

So the sex apps are not leading you anywhere, and Craigslist is always a (sometimes literal) crap shoot. What other sites, groups, or resources have you tried? FetLife surely has groups and message boards you can peruse. There’s the Male Feet and Tickling Network, a Facebook-esque social network for men into feet. There’s a site called . There’s a MeetUp group for Chicago male foot fetishists, which, fine, only has four members, but hey, could be worth a shot or connect you to others who might know where to land a hot dude who wants to worship your arches (or whichever parts you enjoy). There’s a Facebook group (and website) called Foot Fraternity, which is for men into men’s feet and footwear, and claims to be “a place to make friends, share ideas, share photos and enjoy yourself. A place where you can go and see you’re not alone. There are others! A place of affirmation. A place where you can share your feelings.” This sounds so sweet and supportive EVEN I WANT TO JOIN. And I feel quite tepid about feet.

While being a gay guy into feet isn’t the most widely embraced fetish, it’s not the most unusual either. And as most kinksters will tell you, finding partners and community and fellow kink enthusiasts involves perseverance and networking. You might not want to blast a message to your social media networks detailing your kink to your hundreds of friends, though, the more vocal you are about your desire, the more likely something will manifest. Think of it as a Vision Board for your penis.

You could also hit up any of Chicago’s fantastic fetish bars (like Touche, Jackhammer, or the Granville Anvil) and ask around — bartenders, clientele, the lone dude quietly jerking off in the corner, whoever! You could even try fetish stores or sex shops, several of which are in Boystown, Andersonville, and so on. We’ve grown complacent with the ease and instant gratification-ness of online shopping (even for mates), but don’t discount the real world as a potential place to make leads and connections.

PS: If any readers want to help FF with intel on the gay foot underground, hit me up at

Anna Pulley is a RedEye contributor. Want to ask Anna an anonymous question about love, sex or dating? Send it below, or email

Hot Legs (Short Gay Film)

Short Film produced by Underdog Productions (Pty) Ltd in 1995.

Note: This film contains some male nudity, contains material of a gay nature, and may be disturbing to younger viewers. It also contains some fast flash shots.

Written & Directed by Luiz DeBarossProduced by: Marc Schwinges

Starring:Tim: David DucasDave: Gerrie BarnardTim Jnr: Glen FineDave Jnr: Leon WeedKid One: Miguel BarrosKid Tow: Marcus MuddPoliceman One: Carlo GoertzPoliceman Two: Criag KellyMother: Mariana CarrilloSon: Sipho Khuzwago Moyo

Director of Photography: Peter PohorskyProduction Manager: Brendan RiceProduction Assistant: David HeckerFocus Puller: Greg PoissonGrip: Tony Slater

Sound: Jeremy HattinghSound: Ian MillerBoom Operator: Sean Kelly

Senior Make-up Artist: Adrienne CohenMake-Up Artist: Ionka Nel

Runners: Wayne Fick, Paul Hanrahan, Hal Couzens, Bronwyn Vermeulen, Oliver Galloway.

Post Production Advisor: Hal CouzensNon-Liner Editor: Llewelyn Roderick

Executive Producers: Marc Schwinges, Catherine Bester & Charlotte Bauer

Hot Legs (Short Gay Film)

Malefeetobession19

27~Boston~Obsessed with male feet~pics are of guys I’ve met up with, my friends and some celebrities

Met this guy on Grindr. Took him awhile to finally find a time to meet up but when we did it was amazing. We met up a few other times after that and he would stay over my place. Id worship these feet for hours and enjoy them soles #malefeet#soles#barefeet#feetworship#candidfeet#teenboyfeet#myfriendsfeet#gay#grindr#worship#toes#licking#boyfeet#guyfeet#straightguyfeet#tickling#feet#gayfeet#smellysoles#stinky#dominant#suckfeet#ankles#legs#hairylegs

Follow this guy on IG and he is sexy! I was hoping to see his feet one of these days and FINALLY he posted these amazing pics. His feet are sexy and look big! I’d love to service them #malefeet#soles#barefeet#feetworship#candidfeet#teenboyfeet#myfriendsfeet#gay#grindr#worship#toes#licking#boyfeet#guyfeet#straightguyfeet#tickling#feet#gayfeet#smellysoles#stinky#dominant#suckfeet#ankles#legs#hairylegs

Guy i met on Grindr. We met up on my lunch break in the parking garage. Found a quiet spot and he moved to the back seat while I sat up front. I serviced every inch of those soles and toes. It was a hot scenrario #malefeet#soles#barefeet#feetworship#candidfeet#teenboyfeet#myfriendsfeet#gay#grindr#worship#toes#licking#boyfeet#guyfeet#straightguyfeet#tickling#feet#gayfeet#smellysoles#stinky#dominant#suckfeet#ankles#legs#hairylegs

Guy I met on Grindr #malefeet#soles#barefeet#feetworship#candidfeet#teenboyfeet#myfriendsfeet#gay#grindr#worship#toes#licking#boyfeet#guyfeet#straightguyfeet#tickling#feet#gayfeet#smellysoles#stinky#dominant#suckfeet#ankles#legs#hairylegs

Guy I met on Grindr #malefeet#soles#barefeet#feetworship#candidfeet#teenboyfeet#myfriendsfeet#gay#grindr#worship#toes#licking#boyfeet#guyfeet#straightguyfeet#tickling#feet#gayfeet#smellysoles#stinky#dominant#suckfeet#ankles#legs#hairylegs

Was at the beach with a few friends and they brought there guy straight friend. He sat near me and I snuck out my phone to take a pic of his sandy soles. I would have loved to take him to the beach public bathrooms, rinse his feet off and then go in the bathroom stall together and i would have licked and sucked every inch of that foot and toes #malefeet#soles#barefeet#feetworship#candidfeet#teenboyfeet#myfriendsfeet#gay#grindr#worship#toes#licking#boyfeet#guyfeet#straightguyfeet#tickling#feet#gayfeet#smellysoles#stinky#dominant#suckfeet#ankles#legs#hairylegs

Guy I met on Grindr #malefeet#soles#barefeet#feetworship#candidfeet#teenboyfeet#myfriendsfeet#gay#grindr#worship#toes#licking#boyfeet#guyfeet#straightguyfeet#tickling#feet#gayfeet#smellysoles#stinky#dominant#suckfeet#ankles#legs#hairylegs

This guy was an old co worker and we ended up in training for a few weeks together. So many times I wanted to just tell him about my fetish’s but got scared. He never posted pics of his feet too on social media. I would see him walk around the hotel in flip flops and I would instantly get finally posted a pic and I lost it. His feet look so good and tasty. I love the hairy legs too #malefeet#soles#barefeet#feetworship#candidfeet#teenboyfeet#myfriendsfeet#gay#grindr#worship#toes#licking#boyfeet#guyfeet#straightguyfeet#tickling#feet#gayfeet#smellysoles#stinky#dominant#suckfeet#ankles#legs#hairylegs

Chilling by the pool one day and this sexy guy comes out to tan. He sat in the beach chair right next to me. I immediately took out my phone and pretending to be on it but I really was taking these pics. His feet look so good and smooth. I would have love to service HIs feet right there in the public but unfortunately kids were around and he probably wouldn’t have been okay with it lol #malefeet#soles#barefeet#feetworship#candidfeet#teenboyfeet#myfriendsfeet#gay#grindr#worship#toes#licking#boyfeet#guyfeet#straightguyfeet#tickling#feet#gayfeet#smellysoles#stinky#dominant#suckfeet#ankles#legs#hairylegs

Friend of mine on IG. His feet are so sexy. I love his hairy legs and his soles looks so smooth. He’s Striaght I believe but I would love to service these amazing feet #malefeet#soles#barefeet#feetworship#candidfeet#teenboyfeet#myfriendsfeet#gay#grindr#worship#toes#licking#boyfeet#guyfeet#straightguyfeet#tickling#feet#gayfeet#smellysoles#stinky#dominant#suckfeet#ankles#legs#hairylegs

Malefeetobession19

The best gay sex positions: How do gay men have sex?

As anyone who’s ever had gay sex, thought about gay sex or watched gay sex will know there are endless combinations possible gay sex positions. But where to start? What feels best? How do you gay men have sex?

This guide to the four most accessible – and we reckon most pleasurable – gay sex positions will help get you started.

Before we get stuck into how to stick it in, we’d always condone safer sex and recommend you read our guide to PrEP, and always use condoms when having sex.

The best gay sex positions: How do gay men have sex?

Feet of Hollywood

– Something about strong tan lines always piques my interest. You just know his feet are super soft from being in shoes & socks so often.

– In 2014 he responded to a question on Twitter about his feet being ticklish with an answer that I can only interpret as a big yes.

– Appreciation post for genuinely some of the hottest feet I’ve ever seen (especially Link). The fact that they’re not shy about showing them is also a huge plus and the contrast of Rhett’s big, long feet with Link’s smaller ones is just incredible. Keep showing your feet, guys – they’re amazing!

Just wanna take a minute to appreciate the fact Zac Efron gave us 2 of the best moments of mainstream foot content ever ?

(Boyfriend to YouTube’s Simplynaillogical & podcaster)

– He replied to a fan question about where he was ticklish and his short response included his sides and ribs.

Feet of Hollywood

The 50 Best LGBTQ Movies Ever Made

Here are the best movies that depict the queer experience in all its complexities.

The good news: this year you have time for some movies.

Under normal circumstances, June busts out all over with Pride Month parties and parades. The gay neighborhood thumps with house music. Your bank, cable company and sandwich shop rush to remind you of their support for the LGBTQ+ community. And if you can bear the crowds, you leave a Pride festival with a draft-beer buzz, an application for a rainbow-flag credit card, and a paper fan with Chelsea Handler’s face on it. It’s a lot, but it’s ours.

This year, the public events of LGBTQ Pride Month—much like sports, school, and life itself—are cancelled. We’re stuck inside unless we’re marching for police reform. The few bars that have reopened are for the reckless and foolish, and let’s be honest: there’s only so much dancing a person can do on Zoom. The conditions are optimal for you to catch up on your queer cinema.

We’ve come a ways in fifty years, from the self-loathing middle-aged men of The Boys In The Band to the peppy teens of Love, Simon. The range runs from the shoestring brilliance of The Watermelon Woman to the big-budget glitter-bomb that is Rocketman. 1982’s tentative Making Love derailed the careers of its two lead actors; 2017’s Call Me By Your Name cemented its pair as movie stars. While gay characters tended until much too recently to be one-dimensional, white, and doomed, in 2018 Barry Jenkins won a Best Picture Oscar telling the layered and hopeful story of a gay Black man in Moonlight.

There’s a lot of history to explore, and there’s never been a better time to do it. Borrow a streaming service password from family– however you define it!–and dive in.

If it feels a bit like a CW version of an Afterschool Special, that’s no mistake: teen-tv super-producer Greg Berlanti makes his feature film directorial debut here. It’s as chaste a love story as you’re likely to see in the 21st century— the hunky gardener who makes the title teen question his sexuality is wearing a long-sleeved shirt, for God’s sake—but you know what? The queer kids of the future need their wholesome entertainment too.

Audrey Hepburn and Shirley MacLaine play headmistresses at a school for girls who are accused by a student of being in a lesbian relationship. While the accusation is false, it nearly ruins the women’s standing in their community and threatens their friendship—and forces one of them to reevaluate her own identity.

A gay fantasia on Elton themes. An Elton John biopic was never going to be understated, but this glittering jukebox musical goes way over the top and then keeps going. It might be an overcorrection from the straight-washing of the previous year’s Bohemian Rhapsody, but when it’s this much fun, it’s best not to overthink it.

Charming Irish movie that answers the question: “What if John Hughes were Irish and gay?” Misfit Ned struggles at a rugby-obsessed boarding school until a mysterious new kid moves in and an unlikely friendship changes them both. Along the way, a rousing performance from Andrew Scott as an inspiring teacher with a secret of his own, and a rugby game set to a Rufus Wainwright song. Just the thing to lift your spirits.

The life of Cuba’s „transformistas“ is captured beautifully in this father-son story about a boy who wants to perform drag and his father, newly released from prison and unable to accept who his son is. Shot beautifully, with great music and a close look at Havana in all its run-down and colorful glory.

The quintessential ’80s lesbian romantic drama, Desert Hearts follows an English professor and a young sculptor as they fall in love at a Nevada ranch in the 1950s. Unique for its time, it sets its romance in a warm, affirming environment and lets its leads enjoy their relationship without angst or fear of death.

Ira Sachs’s autobiographical drama packs a hard punch as it follows a filmmaker, Erick, throughout his relationship with a young lawyer, Paul, which begins as a random sexual encounter and implodes following Paul’s drug and sex addiction.

Wong Kar-wai won Best Director at the 1997 Cannes Film Festival for this film about two Hong Kong men who emigrate to Buenos Aires, after the handover of Hong Kong to China put LGBT lives in jeopardy.

Former SNL head-writer and The Other Two co-creator Chris Kelly makes his directorial debut in a semi-autobiographical account of his mother’s death from cancer. Molly Shannon gives a devastating performance, the tragic qualities of the Sacramento gay bar are hilariously explored, and the viewer is forced to re-evaluate Train’s “Drops of Jupiter.” Given how much you will cry, this is perhaps a risky watch in a time when tissue paper is scarce. We say pull a full-size bath towel out of the cabinet and dive in.

Cheryl Dunye directs and stars in this microbudget indie about an African-American lesbian searching for an uncredited black actress from a 1930s film. Along the way, she falls in and out of love, and meets the real Camille Paglia.

Julianne Moore and Annette Bening play lesbian mothers to two teenagers whose blissful modern family is rocked when their kids seek out their sperm-doner father played by Mark Ruffalo. The family unit falls into crisis when his sudden appearance into their lives causes a rift between the two women as well as their kids

Starring Mariel Hemingway and a raft of real-life track and field stars, Personal Best follows a young bisexual pentathlete vying for a spot on the U.S. Olympic Team and exploring a relationship with her lesbian coach—played by Olympic hurdler Patrice Donnelly.

Eliza Hittman’s dark and moody film plays out a bit like a thriller, one in which a Brooklyn teenager named Frankie (a superb Harris Dickinson, in a nearly wordless performance), who spends his idle hours hanging with his delinquent friends, fooling around with his girlfriend, or hooking up with men he meets online. Beach Rats is a provocative look at the personal and secret urges we often fear will come out into the light.

Gus Van Sant’s loose Shakespearean adaptation brought the New Queer Cinema movement into the mainstream, with River Phoenix as a young, narcoleptic hustler and Keanu Reeves as his best friend and unrequited love interest.

„Don’t you know I would have gone through life half-awake if you’d had the decency to leave me alone?“ All the lushness of a Merchant Ivory production, with gay men at its center. Even if this weren’t a beautiful, affecting film, Hugh Grant’s hair alone would earn it a spot on this list.

Peter Jackson was journeying through fantasy worlds long before Lord of the Rings—albeit one conjured up by two very real New Zealand school girls (played by then-newcomers Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey) who escape their own realities through their imaginations. But their connection turns intense and dangerous when they conspire to commit murder in one of the most notorious true crime stories of all time.

The first wide-release studio film with a homosexual relationship at its center (and for decades, the last). Making Love follows Michael Ontkean’s Zack, who is married to Claire (Kate Jackson) but exploring his homosexuality with Harry Hamlin’s Bart. It’s not a perfect film, but it took a giant risk, and gives us a rare snapshot of Los Angeles‘ gay life in the moment just before AIDS.

Long before his groundbreaking Brokeback Mountain, Ang Lee directed this sweet, comic tale about a Taiwanese immigrant living in New York with his partner. When he offers to marry a Chinese woman so she can obtain a green card, the marriage of convenience spirals out of control when his parents find out and throw a lavish wedding party.

Mike Mills’s sweet 2010 film concerns a Los Angeles artist, played by Ewan MacGregor, building a relationship with his newly-out father (Christopher Plummer) in the last year of the older man’s life. Beginners earned Plummer an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor and features a talking Jack Russell terrier. In short, it’s pretty much perfect.

When Megan (Natasha Lyonne) shows more interest in being a vegetarian and female-fronted folk rock, her parents send her away to have her presumed homosexuality cured. Conversion therapy is no joke, but Jamie Babbit’s satire perfectly skewers puritanical homophobia on its head—and it has a joyful, happy ending. (Plus, RuPaul!)

Dee Rees’s gorgeous directorial debut stars Adepero Oduye as Alike, a Brooklyn teenager who comes to terms with her own sexuality and puts the comforts of friends and family at risk as she discovers how to express her identity.

On a scorching August day, Al Pacino’s Sonny attempts to rob a bank in Brooklyn, and…things do not go well. The instant, intense media fame Sonny earns feels more relevant than ever, and things turn surprisingly tender when we learn he plans to use the stolen money for his lover’s gender confirmation surgery.

A Pakistani Brit and his former lover, who has become a fascist street punk, reunite and run a family laundromat. The characters deal with the materialism and anti-immigrant furor of Thatcher’s England—elements that feel just a little bit too relevant at the moment.

Based on the autobiography of gay Cuban poet Reinaldo Arenas, Julian Schnabel’s film brought Javier Bardem to the world’s attention and highlighted the cruelty and homophobia of Castro’s Cuba and Reagan’s America

John Cameron Mitchell brings his cult musical about „internationally ignored“ transgender rock star Hedwig to the screen. In this version, Mitchell shows us the backstory he was only able to tell on stage, and introduces us to Michael Pitt’s Tommy Gnosis. The rare rock musical that actually rocks.

Tom Ford’s directorial debut adapts Christopher Isherwood’s novel about an English professor in returning to life a year after the death of his lover. As you would expect from Ford, it is a relentlessly stylish affair, with indelible performances by Colin Firth and Julianne Moore.

Some might find this adaptation of Paul Rudnick’s off-Broadway play to be a little dated with its treatment of the dating scene in early to mid-’90s New York City. But Jeffrey’s strength is found in its comic and playful look at a search for love amid the AIDS crisis, offering the kind of unabashed joy most of its contemporaries were unable to match.

Lisa Cholodenko’s chic directorial debut features a revelatory performance from Ally Sheedy as a prematurely retired photographer, and Radha Mitchell as the young woman who can revitalize her career.

Pedro Almodóvar’s comic melodramas are filled to the brim with delightfully absurd characters, and his Oscar-winning All About My Mother offers some of the best. After the death of her son, Manuela seeks out to find his father—who now goes by the name of Lola. Along for the journey is a young nun (played by Penelope Cruz) who is newly pregnant with Lola’s baby.

A group of London LGBT activists form a coalition with striking Welsh miners in Thatcher’s U.K. Stephen Beresford’s Golden Globe-nominated screenplay underscores the need, as urgent as ever, for oppressed groups to join forces. There is power in a union!

Norman Rene’s film follows a group of gay men through the early years of the AIDS crisis, one day per year, starting on the day the New York Times first covered the story of the „gay cancer.“ A deep meditation on grief, gallows humor, and the families we make with our friends.

What do a recently divorced woman and a middle-aged gay man have in common? They’re both having an affair with a charming and stylish artist—and they’re aware that the lover they share in common isn’t exclusive to them. John Schlesinger’s acclaimed drama depicts two people who seek surprising ways to break free of their dull lives and reclaim their untamed youth.

When her older lover, Orlando, dies suddenly, Marina must put her grief on pause as Orlando’s ex-wife and family immediately shun her because she is transgender. The winner of this year’s Oscar for Best Foreign Language film, Sebastián Lelio’s drama features a stirring lead performance from actress Daniela Vega.

A closeted Northern Englishman prepares to take over his family farm, with some help from a Romanian farmhand whom his father has hired. A heartbreaking depiction of British repression, with a supporting performance from a newborn lamb that will make you vegan for at least an hour. It’s as delicate and beautiful as it is— let’s be honest here—extremely hot.

Spielberg followed up Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom with this adaptation of Alice Walker’s novel. In her film debut, Whoopi Goldberg plays Celie, an African-American woman in the early 20th century, who fights her way through oppression and abuse and finds an unexpected love along the way.

This slice of gay life in mid-’80s Manhattan gave Steve Buscemi his first major film role, and tackled the AIDS crisis in a frank, non-sensational, even humorous manner. Along the way, glimpses of a long-forgotten bohemian New York, Reagan-era Fire Island, and a pre-Drew Carey Show Kathy Kinney

Shot on iPhones along Santa Monica Boulevard’s unofficial red light district, Tangerine follows two transgender sex workers and one lovesick cab driver through a particularly eventful Christmas Eve. Director Sean Baker found his leads—two first-time film actors—at the actual donut shop where much of the movie’s action takes place.

Two drag queens (Hugo Weaving and Guy Pearce) and a transgender woman (Terence Stamp) travel across the barren Australian Outback in a giant pink bus named Priscilla en route to a cabaret gig in Alice Springs. Hilarity ensues as their travels involve misadventure after misadventure, but the trio come together as a family unit as they learn more about each other and their personal lives

This film kept its NC-17 rating for some explicit, passionate sex scenes between leads Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos, but it is at its heart a movie about youth, art, heartbreak, and the thrill of exploring one’s identity.

Who among us hasn’t been hanging out in the late 1700s, waiting on our customary proposal portrait to be finished so that we can find a proper spouse, only to fall for our portrait artist of the same sex? Rats! Fooled by queer impulses again. Portrait of a Lady on Fire is one of the most recent additions to the queer canon, and it already boasts quite a reputation for examining the complex relationship between two women who dared to love in an era when their love was absolutely forbidden.

The first mainstream queer film of the new millennium, Brokeback Mountain ushered its themes into the mainstream. Heath Ledger’s shy Ennis del Mar falls in what he cannot articulate as love with Jake Gyllenhaal’s Jack Twist over a long, lonely winter, and their lives bounce off each other’s for years afterward. Ang Lee and screenwriter Larry McMurtry expand Annie Proulx’s short story into a film without one false moment.

Melissa McCarthy got an Oscar nomination for her portrayal of Lee Israel, a caustic celebrity biographer who turns to literary forgery when her career stalls. Richard E. Grant is wonderful as her co-conspirator, but it’s McCarthy’s attempt at romance with Dolly Wells’ shy bookstore owner that gives the movie its heart.

The greatest, most achingly beautiful gay male romance movie. Timothée Chalamet plays the precocious Elio, a teenager living in Italy who becomes infatuated with an older American student, Oliver (Armie Hammer), who is staying with his family for the summer. What begins as a contentious friendship turns into a full-blown love affair as the two young men spend their idle summer days in the lush Mediterranean locale, bracing themselves for an inevitable heartbreak.

If any film can be credited with kicking off our cultural conversation on gender, this is it. Hilary Swank’s breakthrough performance anchors Kimberly Peirce’s film about the murder of Nesbraskan trans man Brandon Teena. Boys Don’t Cry was originally given an NC-17 for even addressing trans issues, but was later downgraded to an R.

Mike Nichols’s American remake of La Cage aux Folles features Robin Williams as a gay nightclub owner whose son announces his engagement to the daughter of an ultra-conservative politician. In typical farce style, his partner (Nathan Lane)—the star of his club’s drag show—poses as his dowdy wife in order to convince his son’s future in-laws that they’re a wholesome American family.

Set in the early ’90s, this energetic and emotional drama follows a group of activists in Paris fighting the government and its slow-moving efforts to battle the HIV/AIDS epidemic. While highlighting the dramatic and powerful work from ACT UP, the film also depicts the personal stories of those fighting for their lives, delivering a human and urgent remembrance of the plague that afflicted millions across the globe—and continues on today.

Todd Haynes brings Patricia Highsmith’s cult novel to the big screen in this lush and seductive film following a young shopgirl named Therese (Rooney Mara) who finds herself charmed by an alluring older woman named Carol (Cate Blanchett). The two set out on a road trip on which they consummate an unspoken passion for each other—one that ultimately brings ruin to Carol’s marriage and awakens dark desires within Therese.

Tom Hanks won his first Oscar for his performance as Andrew Beckett, a successful lawyer who is fired from his firm once the senior partners discover he has AIDS. Jonathan Demme’s searing drama was the first mainstream film to tackle the AIDS crisis, and it gave a familiar face and voice to a marginalized community often ignored by their neighbors and left to suffer because of an intolerant society.

Based on the play by Mart Crawley, and released less than a year after the Stonewall riots, The Boys in the Band perfectly depicts the complex experience of being a gay man at the time—at times joyful, often times confusing, painful, and informed by self-loathing. This comedy still manages to balance the bite and the tenderness for its collection of characters, with its group of young gay men in New York City falling in and out of love (and friendship), and unknowingly on the brink of a cultural revolution.

The only film on this list to earn an Oscar for Best Picture—and deservedly so. Barry Jenkins explores masculinity and repression in his study of Chiron, a young man coming of age in Miami (and played by three different actors at various stages of his life) who grapples with his sexual identity amid his troubled relationship with his crack-addicted mother. Chiron longs to break free of the predetermined path set out for himself by his environment, a journey set into motion by encounter with one of his male peers

A word of warning from Alex Cheves

My name is Alexander Cheves, and I am known by friends in the kink and leather community as Beastly. I am a sex-positive writer and blogger. The views in this slideshow do not reflect those of The Advocate and are based solely off of my own experiences. Like everything I write, the intent of this piece is to break down the stigmas surrounding the sex lives of gay men.

Those who are sensitive to frank discussions about sex are invited to click elsewhere, but consider this: If you are outraged by content that address sex openly and honestly, I invite you to examine this outrage and ask yourself whether it should instead be directed at those who oppress us by policing our sexuality.

For all others, enjoy the slideshow. And feel free to leave your own suggestions of sex and dating topics in the comments.

8. Size does matter.

Tony, a gay man from Boston, loves large feet. He listed several guys and their shoe sizes who he thinks are hot. “I have a thing for guys with huge monster feet,” he said and mentioned that his boyfriend’s size 13 feet are a major turn-on. “I just like knowing they’re big.”

12. Nothing beats that musky gym smell.

It’s no secret that socks are sometimes used among kinky queer men to flash their hanky code colors. Red socks at a kink event is an indicator that someone is into fisting, while yellow socks show a fetish for piss play, and so on. This is a modern-day version of the classic gay hanky code, which was used in the ’70s and ’80s by gay men to wordlessly cruise.

Colored hankies worn in the back left or right pocket of your jeans indicated what kind of kinks you were into and whether or not you were submissive or dominant. The practice has largely dropped off, but colored socks remain a throwback to that time.

But what if socks themselves are your fetish? That’s the case for Michael in Atlanta. For him, the smell of feet is the biggest trigger. “I love the sweaty smell from a guy’s feet. It’s a total aphrodisiac. Instant boner.”

“I like to rub the feet all over my face, licking and sniffing them like a good hit of poppers. Working my way back and forth and giving a guy a boner as I worship his feet really gets me going.”

13. Stockings and pantyhose fetish.

Elmer Batters (1919–1997), another famous foot lover, is one of the first fetish photographers to capture women’s feet, legs, and stockings with seductive, sultry clarity. His vintage black-and-white photographs have elements of burlesque and BDSM and mostly depict women reclining in erotic poses in cars and living rooms adorned in the style of the 70s and 80s, with stockinged feet and pantyhose on full display (yes, he has a Taschen book).

 His work would go on to inspire artists like Dita Von Teese, RuPaul winner Violet Chachki, and countless others. A quick search for gay stockings and pantyhose porn will deliver thousands of videos — both amateur and studio — proving that this fetish is explored and enjoyed by everyone.

Fetishes you should know.

Two years ago this month, I was sitting on the sofa in my Sir’s living room. It was my birthday. We were getting ready to go to the gym. But first, he said, I should open my presents. Two packages were in front of me on the coffee table.

[RELATED: „30 Kinky Terms Every Gay Man Needs to Know“]

Our relationship had started more than a year earlier with intense monthly BDSM play sessions. After we stopped playing sexually, we continued to go to the gym together and push each other to live healthier. We still go to the gym together, and today I consider him one of my closest friends. He knows what I like — sexually and otherwise — more than most people in my life, so his presents are always top-notch.

Inside the first package was a bottle of twelve-year Glenlivet, one of my favorite single malt whiskies. The second: a Nasty Pig jockstrap. But it was not just any Nasty Pig jock. I sniffed. That distinctly musky, delicious aroma, which can only be found in the playrooms of gay circuit parties and in gyms across the country, lingered in the stitching. “I wore it for a few days,” he said. “You’re welcome.”

You may be asking: What is a fetish, and how is it different from a kink? I clarified these two terms in my list of 30 kinky terms every gay man should know. But I’ll reiterate their distinction here. Kinks are “unconventional” sexual interests, like bondage or paddling. That’s it. Fetishes — also called paraphilias — are objects, materials, features, or articles of clothing, like used jockstraps, that people respond to sexually, and that enhance or facilitate sexual arousal. To clarify: fetish objects are not sexual on their own, like whips or dildos. Fetish objects become sexualized when someone responds to them sexually.

You’ve probably heard of a few obscure fetishes, like high-heeled shoes and rubber duckies. Fetishes are rapidly moving out of their kinky niche and into pop culture. Stay on top of (or under) the trend with this list of 36 fetishes — some well known, others less so — that you need to know about. 

1. Leather

Leather is one of the most commonly fetishized materials, and certainly one of the oldest. Tom of Finland’s 1970s drawings of biker boys, clad in impossibly form-fitting leather, solidified leather as a staple of gay culture. Today, the leather community is global, united by national and international leather competitions that celebrate this fetish at gatherings like the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco, International Mr. Leather in Chicago, and Folsom Berlin.

What does a leather event look like? It looks like throngs of men in leather harnesses, jock straps, jackets, boots, gloves, aprons, fully-body uniforms, and other garb. Since many leather fetishists are into many other fetishes and kinks, the leather community is generally considered synonymous with the kink community as a whole. 

7. Uniforms

People who live in the United States are taught from a young age that uniforms should be viewed with respect, especially police uniforms, military uniforms, and firefighter uniforms. These socio-politics of respect naturally morphed into male strippers dressed as firefighters and cops — evidence that uniforms are heavily fetishized by straight and LGBT people alike. 

17. Amputees

No list of fetishes would be complete without amputees. My ex-boyfriend, in fact, thought guys with amputations, prosthetic legs, and other missing limbs were extremely sexy, and every morning I made sure all my limbs were still intact.

Alex Minksy has more or less made a career from this fetish. The ex-military amputee is a common muse for L.A. photographer Michael Stokes. For the sake of clarity, I should stress that the fetishization of amputees is not the same thing as the kink practice of actually removing limbs for the sake of sexual gratification, which is considered an extreme body-modification kink that is by and large not endorsed by the international kink community. Simply put: you can think amputees are sexy, but don’t go cutting off someone’s leg, or your own. That’s not OK. 

Photo source: Broadway Bares, photo by Kevin Thomas Garcia

20. Enemas

Also called klismaphilia, enema fetishes are commonly explored in amateur gay and straight porn. As useful tools for cleaning out the anal cavity, enemas and douches are used by bottom guys and anyone looking to enjoy mess-free anal sex, so naturally they have become part of sex itself. Aside from their usefulness, enemas are generally considered a healthy occasional practice, and have become a sexualized object all on their own. 

28. Beard/Facial Hair Fetish

You know by now that shaving tools and buzzed haircuts have fetishes attached to them. Beards and body hair should be less surprising, especially these days. Beards are so sexually charged and erotically idealized among today’s scruffier populations of gay men that one might forget the fact that beards are still, technically, fetish objects. 

33. Feces

I promised my scat fetishist friend in Dallas that he would be represented on this list. Coprophilia is sexual stimulation from feces, and while the general population’s response to it is bound to be pretty strong, this fetish is more common than you might suspect, particularly among gay pig players, fisting enthusiasts, and kinky leather men. Despite its popularity within a more niche section of the gay male population, it is generally considered an unhygienic fetish to explore, since handling and consuming human fecal matter carries with it certain health risks. In my limited experience, it is also one of the more heavily stigmatized fetishes, even within the kink community. 

34. Sports Gear

Remember those adolescent longings for the high school quarterback? Perhaps you enjoyed varsity baseball for more reasons than you let on. The fetishes surrounding sports gear and sport environments are so common that locker room porn has become its own popular genre. Prominent gay clothing brands like Nasty Pig and Cellblock 13 draw their design inspiration from tried-and-true sports wear, and standard gay circuit attire will always feature a pair of football pants with the front lacing beckoningly open. 

36. Age

Also called chronophilia (and sometimes ageism), the fetishization of age is a hotly debated topic in gay culture. The term swings both ways: this fetish applies when someone older fetishizes the specific age of someone younger, and when someone younger fetishizes the specific age of someone older. The fetish doesn’t require a significant age difference — just the fact that someone’s age itself is a turn-on.

Conceptually, this fetish opens up debate surrounding the fetishization of other characteristics like skin color and body type. Some argue that fetishizing certain physical characteristics like age and weight is no different than feet and hand fetishes, which we generally do not frown upon. Others say that age fetishes, like skin color and body type fetishes, are not fetishes at all, and that the reduction of a person’s features into points of desire (and, by extension, rejection) is dehumanizing and smacks of racism and body-shaming.

Debate rages. Age fetish deserves inclusion on this list for the sheer purpose that it shows how fetishes can cross from the playfully erotic into more culturally profound and impactful subjects. The whole concept of fetish reveals that anything in the world, from pool floats to ice cream, can become sexual objects if someone responds to them that way, and as such they unleash our sexual desires from the narrow confines that our culture tends to place them in.

This being said, fetish exploration is not a free-for-all. There is a trepidatious line between fetishizing balloons and fetishizing blood. That vague line exists throughout the world of kink, which is why the motto “safe, sane, and consensual” should be strictly adhered to as you explore the things that turn you on — which, I must stress, are worth exploring. Your birthdays just got a lot more interesting. 

Photo by Charles Thomas Rogers from the portfolio, Men Over Fifty.

[RELATED: „30 Kinky Terms Every Gay Man Needs to Know“]

Anal sex positions

Most of these gay sex positions are anal sex positions, but there are some non-penetrative sexual positions at the end too.

If you’re after more anal sex reading, here’s another general guide on how to have anal sex that covers douching, communication, lube and some other stuff.

Top, bottom or versatile?

We’re going to look at gay sex positions from the point of view of a top and a bottom.

If you’re versatile (and we encourage you all to be), lucky you, you can do both. In some gay sex positions the top leads the action, and in some the bottom takes the lead.

Interested in finding out why some guys are top and some are bottom? Here’s a scientific study from 2017 that talks about it.

Try the gay missionary position first

This gay sex position may sound boring, but it’s not, we promise. It’s one of the easiest positions for a top, and not especially difficult for a bottom.

During gay sex, if you’re engaging in foreplay and sucking his cock while he’s laying down, keep licking, kissing and sucking as you move your mouth down towards his balls.

Then go further, toward his perineum (the bit between his balls and his ass) and then his butthole.

Bottom: if you’re enjoying this, give him a few moans and wriggle your asshole a bit closer to where his tongue is.

If he’s keen, keep eating his ass. Open his ass cheeks and get in there deep with your tongue. If you can, and body shapes and sizes depend on this, lift his ass up a bit.

Seeing eye to eye

The gay missionary position is good for maintaining eye contact and clear communication during anal sex.

You can penetrate your partner slowly and carefully, keeping an eye on the target. You can build up a momentum that you’re both comfortable with. And it’s easy to get back in if you slip out, because you can see everything clearly.

Now try riding a guy’s cock

If you’re new to getting f**ked, or nervous about taking a big dick, this gay sex position could be good for you, because as a bottom, you’ll have the control.

It’s a good one for gaining confidence when it comes to taking cock – if it starts to hurt, you can slow down, and lower yourself onto him at your own pace.

You need a certain amount of athleticism to be able to ride your man. You want to be going up and down, and slightly back and forth, at the same time. A bit like riding a horse.

If you’re bigger built than your top, or if you’re a bigger guy in general this one can be tricky as gravity is against you. Be careful not to crush the chap under you or he’ll be at risk of losing his erection.

This great post has been making the rounds on Tumblr.

It’s a playlist of mostly queer, gay, or bi people singing songs about love — same-sex love, in particular. Because sometimes you need a love song that can capture your experience more accurately.

What does gay chastity mean, and what’s the difference between a chastity belt and chastity cage?

View this video on YouTube

OK, you may not know The Feeling, but they were super popular in the United Kingdom a few years ago. The frontman, Dan Gillespie, is gay he writes the most delightfully poppy songs inspired by Queen EVER so listen to this.

View this video on YouTube

OK, so there are arguments that this song is about making it in the music industry as a woman, but the music video is gay (not just because of the butchiness, girls TOTALLY KISS), and Jessie J is openly bisexual. Really feels like this song is about, well, being just as capable of „doing it.“