We talk all the time about how every woman is a unique sexual snowflake, and no type of vagina is better or worse than another. Well, the same thing holds true for dudes.
Unfortunately, guys with small peens don’t always have the easiest time dating or getting busy with someone new. The stereotype goes that a smaller than average package makes for a lame time in the sack.
But to prove that that’s not always the case, we asked several women who’ve dated (or married) guys with an XS situation in their pants for their feedback.
Turns out Republicans and gay men do have something in common:They’re both unhappy with a new study the National Institutes ofHealth subsidized in order to find out if a gay man’s penis size hasany correlation to his sexual health.
According to The Daily Caller,the Hunter College Center for HIV/AIDS Educational Studies Trainingresearch, titled “The Association between Penis Size and Sexual HealthAmong Men Who Have Sex With Men,” was initiated in 2006 and surveyed1,065 gay men. Among its key findings: Those gay men who felt they hadsmall or inadequate penis sizes were more likely to become “bottoms,”or anal-receptive, while gay men with larger penises were more likelyto identify themselves as “tops,” or anal-insertive. Another discoveryfrom the research: Men with smaller penises were more likely to bepsychologically troubled than those with larger genitalia. The goal ofthe study was to understand the “real individual-level consequences ofliving in a penis-centered society.”
“We’ve got nameless,faceless bureaucrats who thought this was a good use of taxpayermoney,” said Andrea Lafferty, president of the right-wing TraditionalValues Coalition, which unearthed the penis-size study, to The Daily Caller.“But, at the end of the day, it was the NIH directors who signed off onit. These nameless, faceless bureaucrats seem to think the Americantaxpayers are a limitless ATM machine.”
Sex Tips for Dating a Man with a Small Dick
Slate’s prudish advice columnist Dear Prudence received a question from a woman dating a man with a tiny, tiny penis. Prudence’s response today focuses on love and relationships, but skimps on the sex. We’ll get down to the itty-bitty nitty-gritty.
The problem, as posed to Prudence, is this: A woman meets a man who is perfect in every way. She wants to settle down and marry him, except he has a small dick. Prudence tells her—and I’m paraphrasing here—“Well, if you really love him, you can make it work, but if you really need the dick, then dump him and get the dick.“
That’s totally wrong. There is no reason you should throw a good guy to the curb just because he isn’t very blessed in the dong department. Here’s how to make it work in the sack when your man doesn’t have much of one.
Never Mention It’s Small: If a guy has a small dick, he knows he has a small dick and telling him as such is just cruel. There is no need to mention remedies, pills, surgeries, exercises, or new forms of yoga that might give him some extra length. Actually, the fact that you never mention it will give him a boost of confidence, which is always good in the bedroom.
Never Mention It’s Big: Even worse than saying it’s small is saying it’s big. It’s one thing to point out the obvious, but if you lie—and he’ll know you’re lying—then you’re just an untrustworthy person. This will get you dumped.
Say Goodbye to Intercourse: Getting fucked just isn’t going to feel right if the guy is deficient below the belt. However—just like fat people have to be funny and short people have to be aggressive to get by in the world—guys with small dicks compensate by focusing on other bedroom activities. Most men with a small dicks can give amazing head, so just push his head under the covers and get off that way. But if he wants to stick it in you, you’re gonna have to let him. It won’t feel great, but it’s the price to pay for all that oral action.
Take It to the Rear: There is more to sex than just oral and intercourse. Yes, think the back door! If you’re gay and your new man has a little dick, then you’ll just always be on top. (Deal with it, there are worse things.) For a lady not very experienced with getting action where the sun don’t shine, this is the perfect guy to try it with. It’s so small it will barely hurt and he’ll get a huge kick out of it.
Cheat: Like Prudence said, sometimes there is nothing that will scratch your itch like a big cock. If you can’t get it at home, you shouldn’t have a problem finding it elsewhere. Just be safe and discreet. And don’t feel too bad, this is something you can’t get at home. It’s like when you go to a colorist because your stylist is great at the cut but liable to mess a dye job up eight ways to Sunday. It’s the same thing. Just don’t get caught, though, because a small-dicked guy will never cheat. Well, unless he’s a famous professional athlete. (Hey, Mr. Favre!)
Be Careful with Sex Toys: The obvious answer for compensating for a lover without many inches is getting a dildo or vibrator into the mix. While this is a fun and healthy part of sex with an average-to-large-sized man, it can be a total mood kill to our less-fortunate mates. For them, asking for a little plastic assistance is telling them what they already suspect deep down inside: that they’re not enough. What you need to do is find a way for him to suggest it. Then you can ride the battery train all the way to Climaxville.
Tighten Up: Doing some Kegel exercises (you know the ones where you pretend like you’re stopping the flow of pee) are always a good idea to tighten up down there. But if your man is especially small, it might make things feel better for the both of you, especially if you’re a reformed size queen who’s trying to make it work.
Got any other tips for those trying to make it work with a tinky winky? Share your suggestions below.
Does Size Matter?: Encounters with a Less-Endowed Partner
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Last night, over dinner, I was caught off guard when a female friend of mine—a bookish writer who’s rarely the type to talk explicitly about sex—said to me, “I think guys with really tiny penises should be made to wear a warning.” She continued sternly, “It’s the worst when you meet a guy you’re really into, the chemistry and flirtation are wonderful, and then you find out he has a small dick. I just think, for god’s sake, I wish I would have known, so I could have avoided investing all that time and energy.”
I have to say, it felt like I was living inside an episode of Sex and the City. Specifically the final episode of the first season, when Samantha starts dating a lawyer named James, only to find that his penis is so tiny that she can’t even tell when it’s inside her. As she sobs at this revelation in a bathroom stall, Charlotte tries to remain optimistic by asking, “Is he a good kisser?” To which Samantha responds: “Who . . . cares! His dick is like a gherkin!”
Like most women, I carry around my own small-penis story, to be shared at moments precisely like this. It was a few years ago (I’ve changed a few small details to protect his identity), and I had a crush on a 28-year-old filmmaker who frequented the bar I worked in. After months of flirtation, he finally invited me to the screening of a short film that he’d written, directed, and starred in. I went, and actually got butterflies in my stomach while watching him on the big screen. Look how cute he looks, moving around, and saying things like that!, I thought to myself while trying to imagine him naked. But then came the scene where his character made a joke about having a small dick. I might have let the joke slip by unanalyzed if it weren’t for how he went into lengthy detail about the years of insecurity he’d suffered because of his tiny penis, confessing that he special-orders tiny condoms online, because even the smallest condoms available in stores are too baggy and just slip off. All of this was in the name of comedy, of course, but as everyone in the theater around me roared with laughter, I found myself thinking: Only a man who actually has a microscopic dick would ever write a joke like that.
We all know that humor is a coping mechanism. And maybe I had enough of a warning sign. But despite this, I agreed to go on a dinner date with the filmmaker the following week, because, well, I really liked him.
Before I finish my story, I should probably mention that I don’t really mind small dicks. Don’t get me wrong, there’s something very beautiful and majestic and virile about the sight of a large, erect penis. But aesthetics aside, once the sex is underway, it doesn’t necessarily make that much of a difference. Anyone who’s seen Blue Is the Warmest Colorknows that sex can be transcendentally hot and orgasmic with no penises involved at all. Clearly, it’s chemistry, passion, and technique that matter most. Thus, my problem with small dicks isn’t that they result in a lack of pleasure, but rather that they can be kind of, well . . . awkward.
In the past, whenever I’ve gone to bed with a guy and realized he had a small penis, I immediately became worried that he was embarrassed or uncomfortable, which, of course, made me feel uncomfortable for him, which then made the whole situation uneasy. I also always become hyperaware that if I sleep with a guy with a small penis only once, it’s going to appear as if I didn’t want to see him again because of his size. Maybe the reason I worry about these things is because women have a nurturing instinct—we naturally want to care for and encourage—or maybe I’m just a very anxious person. Either way, I totally empathize with the insecurities of less-endowed men, because there’s just nothing they can do about it. For everything else, we have plastic surgery—girls (and guys) can suck stuff out and stick stuff in and so much more if we get really desperate or insecure about a body part. But a man with a small penis? You have to play the hand you’re dealt.
But back to the filmmaker. Our date turned out wonderful—he was funny, successful, hot, blah blah blah—the perfect guy. So we get into bed, and I move my hand down, and there it was—a baby carrot inside his tighty-whities. It was probably the smallest I’d ever touched, with the unfortunate luck of being both short and slim. I sort of expected him to acknowledge it—especially given his film’s epic tiny peen monologue—but instead he just flipped me over and spanked me. He was really dominant in bed, which totally turned me on, and his confidence prevented me from having to feel any vicarious sexual anxieties, as I had with most of the small-dicked men of my past. At one point he even told me to “choke on it.” In my head I was like, “I could probably fit five of these in my mouth without triggering my gag reflex,” but I just went along with it and made fake choking sounds, because why not? It was hot, and fun, and sex is theater most of the time anyway. And when I recounted our sex to my friends, it was always something like, “I slept with this guy, it was awesome. Oh, and he had a really small dick . . . but it wasn’t an issue.”
He and I went on to sleep together for a few months. At the time, neither of us were looking to get into a committed relationship, which allowed for us to have one of those pressure-free, fun flings that are often the most uninhibited and hedonistic of romances. We even had a threesome once, with another girl he was seeing at the time, and at the end of the night, when she and I were both lying on our backs in post-orgasmic bliss, he smiled down at us and said casually, “The little dick that could . . . am I right?!”
I don’t want to sugarcoat it: I know that for some girls, including my bookish writer friend, small dicks are a dealbreaker. And that’s fine, because we all have our own personal preferences. I won’t deny that I’ve been in situations in the past where a guy’s lack of size certainly didn’t help matters. However, I can sooner imagine myself seriously dating a guy with a small dick than I can a guy who’s shorter than I am—that’s just me.
In the case of the filmmaker, he made up for his size in other ways, by being attentive, skilled at talking dirty, and gifted with his hands and mouth. And yeah, when it was inside, it kind of felt like nothing, but honestly a lot of dicks feel like nothing to me, unless they’re really big, at which point they often just become painful. Penises—they’re all or nothing! Also, I tend to be wary of very well-endowed men—those guys who since high school have been hearing girls shriek “Oh my god, it’s so big!”—and as a result, think all they have to do is show up, whereas smaller and normal-size guys tend to be less lazy. But that’s for another column.
Karley Sciortino Unboxes the Perfect Gift for the Nympho on Your List
My 2.9 inch micropenis makes me even BETTER in bed – I’m delighted there’s a new dating site for men like me
A HEREFORD man who happily admits to having a tiny todger is welcoming a new dating agency for men with small willies – as long as it isn’t used as a „comedy tool“.
Michael Harris, 31, a scaffolder, claims his manhood – which measures 2.9 inches – is like a „Jedi warrior“.
This week, the first-ever dating agency for men with small willies was launched, called ‘Dinky One.’ Already it has 27,762 members – with the agency aiming to ‘normalise’ tiny todgers as it claims many women actually PREFER a small willy. Only men with less that 5.5 inches can apply.
Here Diana Appleyard talks to two men with smaller manhoods who both think it’s a great idea – as long as no-one takes the mick….
1 in 5 gay men have rejected a hook-up because of their penis size
A poll has found that more than one in five gay men have rejected a sexual partner because of the size of their penis.
The research was carried out by gay men’s health charity GMFA, which surveyed 566 gay and bisexual men about their penis.
The polling, published in FS Magazine, reveals that a shocking 38% of gay men said that their penis size causes them anxiety.
22% admitted they’d rejected someone because of their penis size, while 16% said they’ve had derogatory comments made about their penis.
However, 49% of gay men say that size doesn’t matter, while 36% think it does.
It’s not just length that worries men, either. 28% said they have problems with cumming too quickly, while 21% suffer from erectile dysfunction and have problems cumming at all.
Ian Howley, CEO of GMFA, said: “It goes without saying but the penis is a big part of our sex lives but it also brings a lot of problems too. Many of these are mental issues
“Your relationship with your penis is important. If you think negatively about your penis then this will affect the sex you have, the risks you take and even your self-esteem and self-worth.
“Likewise, if you have a bigger than average penis, this can lead you to be anything from over confident to feeling used at times. Again, this can affect your self-worth and self-esteem.
“It’s important that if you are someone who has confidence issues with your penis and then you should do something about it.”
“Being small has always affected my confidence. I feel less manly,” says Chris, 29 from London. “I have a preference for men to have something substantial, so I feel bad for others who might expect the same with me. I don’t feel body proud. I get very concerned wearing speedos.”
“I didn’t have any context when I was younger. I had a sheltered childhood and was a fat, shy kid,” admits Joseph, 34 from London, “so I thought I was small because I was comparing myself to porn dicks.”
“Quite often I’ve had guys say, ‘you’re not fucking me with that thing. It’ll never fit’ or people have expectations that go with a big cock I get worried I can’t fulfil them,” says James, 38 from Middleborough.
Kerri Sackville: Men with small penises now have a dating site just for them
A dating service for men with “small penises” just launched, and if you thought it was a joke like writer Kerri Sackville, sadly you’d be mistaken.
When I woke up this morning to an email in my inbox about a dating site for men with small penises, I went back to sleep.
I hoped when I woke up that it would all be a bad dream, but alas, it was not. It was still there when I looked again, it is live right now on the internet, and truly, I don’t want to date in this world anymore.
Dinky One is its name, and it is billed as a “dating app for men with a small penis”. I mean, I despair. If that is the best that the PR company can do, then I also don’t want to read ads in this world anymore either.
I can think of about a hundred good slogans off the top of my head: , or … OK, I’ll shut up now.
Still, Dinky One might have a terrible name, but at least it has a ridiculous premise. Yes, Dinky One is a site for “smaller endowed men and partners who prefer it that way”.
At the time of the launch, the site had, apparently, more than 27,000 members, though statistics on their penis size is not currently available.
Now, I can sort of understand why a man would sign up to a small penis dating site. If he had, for example, signed up to Ashley Madison (the affair website) and narrowly missed the data breach that leaked names and IPL addresses to the media, he could perhaps be hoping for another chance at devastating public humiliation. (I have researched kinks, and being publicly humiliated for having a small penis is quite surprisingly popular.)
Other than that? Well, according to founder David Minn, Dinky One lets men date safely in the knowledge that future partners already know they are getting a man with a small member.
Now, I get that men are obsessed with their penis size, and that men fret that they are too small for sex. We women understand unrealistic body standards, and we sympathise with the anxieties men feel.
So here’s a fun fact. Most women don’t like men because of their penis size; they like the penises that are attached to men they like. This is why – brace yourself – women don’t like unsolicited d**k pics!
The d**k itself tends to be less relevant than the man whose groin it inhabits. We can generally make do with whatever turns up in the pants, but we do not use what’s in the pants as a screening tool for love.
Simply put, most women searching for a relationship won’t use a small penis site any more than they would use a large forearm site or a huge nipple site or a tiny earlobe site. It’s just not that important in the scheme of things.
Having said that, there are women who just want casual sex, and to some of them, the size of the sex organ is important.
Sadly, I suspect these ladies won’t be trawling Dinky One for candidates. There’s nothing wrong with a tiny penis, but for casual sex purposes, the ideal size is rarely “extra small”.
Still, Dinky One is open to people of all sexualities, and it’s possible that some gay men prefer small penises. I ran this past my gay friend, who said, “No we don’t,” and also, ‘That’s not true,’ but it’s possible he’s totally mistaken.
Happily, Dinky One offers a comprehensive answer to the vexing question of: Who wants a small d**k?
There are many reasons why some people prefer a smaller penis, it states, before going on to offer many (OK, two) reasons. Some women, it claims, ‘just preferrer (sic) a smaller penis for comfort reasons’. Also, it claims, smaller men may be better at oral sex.
That seems to be legit, but whether it’s legit enough to warrant a specific ‘small penis/great oral’ website is rather a different question.
As for gay men, well, according to Dinky One, the majority of forum threads suggest most gay men preferrer (sic) a larger penis but there are some who don’t. This penetrating bit of research tells me very little indeed, except that my gay friend seems to have been visiting the forums.
Look, Dinky One is out in the world, so if you’re into a tasting platter, rather than a big meal, then it’s time to step up and take a bite.
As for me, I’ll continue to screen for weird things, like personality, smile and intelligence. And if there’s a penis to be found in there somewhere, well, that will be a bonus.
Out There: A Survival Guide For Dating In Midlife. Continue the conversation @KerriSackville
Everything about the man I’m dating is perfect—except his microscopic member.
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Got a burning question for Prudie? She’ll be online at to chat with readers on Mondays at 1 p.m. Submit your questions and comments here before or during the live discussion.
Dear Prudie,I am a 30-year-old woman who has been dating a lovely man for three months. He’s smart, funny, cute, and kind. I’ve felt so lucky to have found him. Here’s the problem: We recently became intimate for the first time, and he is, unfortunately, very poorly endowed—so small that I did some Google searching and think he might have a micropenis. I believe that sex is crucial to a relationship, and the thought of having a (potentially lifelong) relationship without an active sex life scares me. When you can’t feel anything during the act, that’s a problem. I know that there are other options in the bedroom, but I get pleasure by doing it the old-fashioned way. I feel awful about this—it’s obviously something that he can’t help, and it slays me that the universe would be so unjust to such a wonderful person. I’m conflicted. I see a potential future with him in every other way, but how do I deal with this? Do women who marry very poorly endowed men end up regretting it? If I let him go, what should I tell him that won’t absolutely crush him?
Dear Little,Your wonderful guy was cruelly shafted, and it’s sad to think that a relationship that seemed to have everything may be doomed because of a teeny-weeny problem. I once published a letter from a woman whose boyfriend had also gotten the short end of the stick—although perhaps not quite so drastically as yours—and in response I heard from several women who said they were initially very disappointed by their beloved’s under-endowment and wondered whether it was a relationship killer. But they liked the guy so much that they stuck with it and said they eventually “adjusted” and came to find their sex lives fulfilling. The only way you can find out whether this can be true for you is to try again—but if the thought fills you with dread and despair, you pretty much have your answer as to whether you can continue this relationship. If you do give your intimacy another go, despite your love of “the old-fashioned way,” this would be a good time to expand your repertoire. However, if each encounter leaves you feeling a void, then your frustration will ultimately kill the good parts of your relationship. If you let him go, you will be telling him the truth if you say he’s one of the finest men you’ve ever known, but you two just don’t have any chemistry in bed. And if that happens, I have a somewhat hopeful note for your man. I, too, Googled micropenis, and I had a shock of recognition when I saw the first image. There was a gentleman just like that at the nudist resort I recently wrote about. Every time I saw him, he was holding hands with his wife, who seemed blissfully happy to be with her little big man.
Dear Prudence,The daughter of an acquaintance of mine recently was treated for cancer. She’s about 4-years-old, and I believe she is doing well now. Her mother posted a request on Facebook asking for donations of hair to make a wig for her. Then another friend sent me a private message to tell me that the mother wanted me to donate my hair to her daughter. I feel like a horrible person, but I don’t want to donate my hair. The only thing I like about my appearance is my hair. I know how selfish that sounds, and it’s killing me. Also, there are pictures on Facebook of her daughter wearing a wig, not that this justifies my unwillingness to donate. Would it be at all appropriate for me to offer a cash donation, rather than one of hair? And if so, what would be the appropriate amount?
Dear Shear,I give a lot of leeway to people going through traumatic events, and having your child treated for cancer is right up there. However, this situation does not entitle people to pressure those who aren’t inclined to donate body parts—even renewable ones. The idea of asking people to donate their hair to a specific child is odd. As you’ve seen from the mother’s Facebook page, ready-made wigs are easily available. Let’s hope the treatment for this little girl was as successful as you indicate. In that case, happily her own hair will likely be growing in before your hair could be made into a custom wig. You don’t have to offer money toward the cost of a wig, unless the family is in financial straits and friends are raising funds to generally help them out. (Then donate only what you can comfortably afford.) If you want to do something for them, bringing a dinner is helpful—check when one would be most needed. Otherwise, since the request for your locks came to you secondhand, just act as if you’d never heard it.
Dear Prudence,My husband and I got married about a month ago. He’d cheated on me a year before we got engaged, and although it was the worst experience of my life, we obviously found a way to move on and are very happy. We are going to be in my friend’s wedding soon, and I was recently at her bachelorette party helping set up when “the other woman” walked in. I am totally confused as to why my friend would invite this girl to celebrate with us. I felt as though I couldn’t leave because of my duty as a bridesmaid. I thought my friend despised this girl as much as I do. My friend gave her a big hug and acted like nothing had ever happened. I was angry and hurt. I haven’t spoken to the bride since and have no idea what to do. Plus, I found out the girl is also invited to the wedding. Do I back out of the wedding a month before and call it quits on the friendship? Or do I simply forgive and forget because people are allowed to be friends with whomever they choose?—The Other Friend
Dear Other,I’m taking you at your word that the bride knows about your history with “the other woman,” this woman is not in your social circle, and the bride didn’t have a pre-existing friendship with her. If all this is true, then the bride should have alerted you that X was going to be there, explained that the two of them have become friendly, and expressed her hope that you could put things behind you. Since you’re a bridesmaid, you wouldn’t have had much choice, but at least you would have been prepared. You don’t want to turn the upcoming nuptials into a drama about how your own marriage almost didn’t come about, but since you and the bride are close, you have to talk. Tell her you were surprised to see X at the party and wished you’d had a warning. It could be that what to you was the worst experience of your life, to everyone else was an instance of a guy who was in a semi-serious relationship deciding to play the field before settling down. Maybe your now-husband went after X, who took that as a sign he was available. At this point, everyone thinks that since you’ve forgiven him, you should stop carrying a grudge against her. Once you get a clarification, unless the bride is engaging in some weird head game with you, happily continue with your duties—after all, you’re the one who got the guy.—Prudie
Dear Prudence,I am just a little over a year away from becoming a lawyer, and I’m miserable because I hate it. I wasn’t forced into the profession. I just mistakenly believed that since I loved to read and debate, law was the natural progression. But I don’t like law, and I’m not applying myself to it wholeheartedly. I can’t imagine being in this field for the rest of my life or even a few years. My parents have sacrificed and spent so much on my education, and I have no idea how to tell them that I made a mistake. Worse, my mom thinks this is my dream, and I don’t have the heart to tell her that it isn’t. The only thing that really brings me joy is escaping into books that have nothing to do with law. Please help me.—Inadmissible
Dear Inadmissible,You are not the first young person to find that a profession that looked good from a distance is a miserable fit in reality. You are close to finishing your studies, so you might as well get the degree. Since finding a decent job is eluding many people your age, staying in graduate school a while longer is a pretty good strategy. But getting a law degree doesn’t mean you have to spend your life being a lawyer. Sure, your mother may be disappointed, but assure her that when you find a career that suits you better, you know you will benefit from your legal education. That’s been the case for a number of people at Slate, from our esteemed founding editor, Michael Kinsley, to my superlative colleagues Dahlia Lithwick and Emily Bazelon—nonpracticing lawyers all. The worlds of business and politics are filled with people with law degrees. At back-to-school night, my daughter’s high-school freshman English teacher told us that as a lawyer, she was particularly interested in teaching our children the art of persuasive writing. And since you love escaping into books, you might want to practice law for a few years, then use your experiences to try to create your own literary world, like Scott Turow and John Grisham.
Top or bottom? Check the size of your penis.
In one chapter of my forthcoming book (June 2011), The Consuming Instinct: What Juicy Burgers, Ferraris, Pornography, and Gift Giving Reveal About Human Nature, I discuss how the effects of morphological features (e.g., height, breast size, facial dominance, digit ratio) manifest themselves in the marketplace.
While conducting research for the chapter in question, I came across an interesting study that linked penis size (a morphological trait) to a specific sexual behavior. Christian Grov, Jeffrey T. Parsons, and David S. Bimbi surveyed 1,065 gay or bisexual men about their penis size and a broad range of variables (e.g., sexual health, psychosocial adjustment, and sexual preferences).
One finding that struck me as particularly interesting was the relationship between a man’s perceived penis size (see here for an earlier post that I wrote on this topic) and the extent to which he was an „inserter“ (top) or „insertee“ (bottom), in terms of anal sex. The researchers asked the following question: „Do you consider your penis size to be…?“ with possible answers being „below average,“ „average,“ „above average,“ and „way above average.“ The last two categories were fused into one „above average“ category. They were also asked about their preferred sexual roles as relating to anal sex. The five possible answers were: Top 100 percent; Mostly Top; Versatile 50/50; Mostly Bottom; and Bottom 100 percent. The five original categories were fused into three categories: Top and Mostly Top became Top, Versatile remained as is, and Bottom and Mostly Bottom became Bottom. Here are the results:
When size is a concern.
The size of a man’s penis is an objective concern for intercourse only in the case of small penis syndrome. In fact, the average erect penis is a lot smaller than hitherto thought, and men worry due to erroneous information on the subject. For years medical books reported that the average erect penis was 5.88 inches long, leading a lot of men to worry about their size. This figure, however, was the result of self-measurement, which is notoriously unreliable.Research based on actual measurement suggests that the average erect penis is 5.2 inches long. That’s just a bit longer than 13 cm—a lot shorter than most people’s hands, measured from the wrist to the end of the middle do occasionally complain about a small penis. Laura recently expressed her worries as follows:
I am head over heels for my husband, we have an amazing relationship. But from the beginning when we first started dating, I noticed immediately that we didn’t really click when it came to matters of the sack. I think it might have something to do with the fact that the guy I was with before him was a lot… eh…. bigger.
Laura may well be misjudging the size of her husband’s penis, given her recent sexual encounter. But not all men are built the same. So it is, of course, possible that her issue is a real issue of size, when it occurs, is a difficult one to deal with. Men can’t (easily) change how nature created them. Penis extension devices, such as Andropenis, and penis extension surgery carry with them significant inconvenience and risk. So, if size is an issue, the trick is to find ways to make up for the lack in volume without medical intervention. In most cases choice of sexual position can make up for a lack in size. The main problem with a small penis is that you can’t get deep penetration as easily. In that case, the solution may be positions that allow for deeper entrance, for instance:
Or you can experiment with anal sex. The anus is a lot tighter than the vagina. Small is likely an advantage when it comes to backdoor entrance.Finally, it should be mentioned that not all women are turned on by a large penis. Some are terrified by the thought of a very long member. And in terms of satisfaction, the girth or thickness of a penis matters a lot more than length. For many women, feeling „full“ is much more important than being fully penetrated, especially because the most anterior parts of the vagina have nerve endings that are lacking in the „Brit“ Brogaard is the author of
‚I’ve never had a bad review – quite the opposite‘
If this makes both men and women more comfortable about dating then I am all for it! There are many women who would actually prefer to date men with smaller willies, because a lot of men – like me – are much better in bed because we are more thoughtful and inventive.
My only concern about the website is that it could be used for trolling guys with small willies, and making fun of them. I would be very aware that it could be used as a comedy tool, so to speak.
I don’t think that women are all that concerned about the size of your manhood. I’ve never had a bad review – in fact quite the opposite! Guys need to be more aware that sex is far more than just slamming it in and going for gold.
I am basically like a Jedi warrior with my skills and that’s even before I begin the actual intercourse!
In general men are far too ‘hung up’ about their body parts. There’s nothing you can do about it. Growing up, I used to worry about my penis size, but once I started dating girls in my late teens I realised I had absolutely nothing to worry about. I am living proof that sex is all about technique, not size.
I’ve never had a girl say, „Oh, that’s a small one.“ But being in the army, I used to get loads of banter about the size of my willy. Friends used to say, „Oi, mate, I’ve got something stuck in my teeth, can I use your willy?“ Or I would get called „the micro penis guy.“
But I am a big, fit guy, and nothing really intimidates me. To be blunt, once the willy is erect it doesn’t make much difference and anyway penetration is only the finale of sex.
So many men worry about the actual size of their penis, and it’s so pointless. I would never consider having a penis enlargement operation – what if something went wrong?
I’ve never had a problem getting an erection, and in fact I have one mate who has a massive willy, and that’s much more of an issue – women can find that very uncomfortable and it puts them off.
Porn puts lots of pressure on men, and most men in porn films have enormous d***s. But that isn’t natural, and men should not compare themselves to those guys.
‚I didn’t have sex until I was 21 – I was too embarrassed‘
Fifty-three-year-old Ant Smith is an author who lives in Barking, East London. He’s married to Christine, 49, a sound recordist. Ant says…
A small penis dating site – why not? Dating agencies have become key in the modern world, and I think this is very much a positive step forward.
The one thing that corrupts relationships is secrecy and game playing. The more upfront folks are about themselves, the better.
Sure, some women care about size – but there are an equal number of women who actually prefer men with small penises as they are often better in bed. A large penis can be very uncomfortable.
What women really like are men who are open and honest, so they may well feel they are MORE likely to find a nice, kind guy on this new dating site.
I mean, if they are happy to admit they have a small willy, then they are more likely to be open and honest about everything else.
I’m happily married and I can easily laugh about all the fuss made about penis size, now. My wife has never complained.
But growing up it was a different matter. The size of my penis (about 3 inches) was a considerable embarrassment to me. I used to look at everyone in school, and worry that I seemed so much smaller than them.
When I was getting changed for games, I used to hide. Other boys used to tease me, and call me „micro d***“. When you’re a teenager, you don’t want to be different in any way, and the size of your penis is – quite wrongly – supposed to represent how much of a ‘man’ you are.
As a result of my embarrassment, I didn’t have sex with a woman until I was 21. I honestly thought that they would laugh when they saw my penis. Thankfully they didn’t – but I had a couple of dreadful experiences when the condom slipped off my willy as it was too small to keep it on.
I spent probably 30 years worrying about the size of my penis. The thing that cured me was my wife – she’s a lovely, intelligent woman and she made me realise that loving sex has nothing to do with penis size. It doesn’t affect your technique, or the person that you are.
As a young man I suffered so many anxieties, and I now realise so many of them could be traced back to my penis size. If anyone on TV ever made a joke about tiny willies, I would die inside.
This is one of the reasons why, in my spare time, I became a performance poet and wrote a book about small willies*. I realised that someone had to bring this issue out into the open, and allow us men to laugh about our hang-ups and be open about such a ‘taboo’ and supposedly shameful subject.
My main aim is to make other men feel OK about themselves. Now I tackle the subject with humour, but I know from my own experience just how serious an issue it can be. So many men beat themselves up about their penis size, and it affects their relationships with women.
So I think that the ‘Dinky One’ dating website is a great idea as it should promote openness and honesty.
Author Simon Edmunds
Simon is the former editor of Global Dating Insights. Born in Newcastle, he has an English degree from Queen Mary, London and after working for the NHS, trained as a journalist with the Press Association. Passionate about music, journalism and Newcastle United.
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Concerningly, 8% of men said their penis size influences their decision whether to wear a condom or not.
Ian Howley continued: “It’s quite clear that there are issues between gay men and their penis that we need to address. With 8% of gay men telling us that their penis site impacts their decision to wear a condom or not, this means we need to focus more on addressing these issues.
“We at GMFA recommend that you talk to your GP, sexual health professional or a counsellor about any problems you have in relation to your penis – whether that be erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or anxiety and self-esteem issues.
“All gay men deserve to have the best sex possible. Our penises come in many shapes, sizes and skin tones – just as we do. And like us, our penises need looking after. Just don’t let your penis dictate your whole life.”
More:big penis,,,GMFA,LGBT,long penis,penis,penis size,Sex
The two variables were statistically linked (p < .001). "Below Average," "Average," and "Above Average" men were more likely to be Bottom, Versatile, and Top respectively.
As the authors proclaim early in the paper, penis size has long been symbolically associated with masculinity. Hence, to the extent that these different sexual positions are perceived as more „masculine“ (top) or more „feminine“ (bottom), it might seem reasonable to expect a link between these two variables. On a related note, in some cultural settings, being gay is largely associated with being the bottom. A similar attribution has sometimes been made within the confines of prison culture.
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A vagina’s most stimulating parts are quite close to the entrance, so surely any penis would do the job?
As for the anus, I’ve always been of the opinion it’s best to keep anything going up there as petit as possible.
The main thing to remember is penises come in many shapes and sizes, and are all pretty great. What might not be so great, however, is the reaction to them.
I never judge a man by his penis, but it seems many men judge it themselves. They look at my face for my reaction to them and I’m left in a limbo of what to say. I started asking around to find chaps with a smaller chopper who might give me a bit of advice on what they would like a partner to say, do, or ask.
There are a couple of great resources out there for anyone looking for advice. is a new dating site that not only promotes a bit of chat, but also have regular get-togethers.
I asked the members what their experiences and advice might be.
‘Past girlfriends have gone a bit silent when they first saw my cock and then not said anything,’ John tells
‘I think it would have been better to say, “Oh how cute”, because it shows that at least they noticed his existence.
‘I adopted the oral sex stereotype and put a lot of effort into it, but not all women like receiving lots of cunnilingus, so I found I was rather over-relying on it,’ says JM. ‘Actually what I needed to do to satisfy women was to learn to use my cock well.’
For more in-depth insight, I went to Ant Smith, the author of The Small Penis Bible, and asked him if there is anything we should avoid saying to our smaller partners.
‘The very best penis for sex is the one that’s in bed with you, whatever its shape or size,’ he says.
‘In terms of what to say, that so depends on the situation, the person, the relationship. If it’s just a fling or one-nighter, probably best not to mention size at all as you have no idea how the guy will take it, and such comments can do a disproportionate amount of harm.
‘If talking size is unavoidable then you have to take the cue from the guy. If he thinks he’s massive and he’s bragging, and you hardly know him – then just play along. Why not? Unless you like hurting people?
‘Otherwise, it’s a matter of judicious truth. If a guy is miserable because he thinks he has a small penis – and it is, in fact, small – the thing to do is to make him feel better about this truth, not to lie.
‘The worst thing to say to a guy who actually has a small penis is, “Oh no, that’s quite big”. He has the measurements and he’s read the stats; he knows that isn’t true.
‘By you saying “it’s big” just reinforces how important size is.’
Smith says there are no particular positions he would recommend to those with a small willy.
‘Doing so just leaves people feeling like they’re missing out on something a “real man” should be able to have,’ he says. ‘But the truth is any couple will have positions that do and do not work for them.’
‘You can’t go looking up the details of the “best sex possible for you” as though there’s a whole range of Haynes’ manuals of the man. This is the height of objectification.
‘The only way to work out what does and doesn’t work is to experiment with the person.’
So is the term micropenis offensive, or descriptive?
‘It is a terrible term,’ says Smith. ‘How can we say a 76mm willy is normal but 74mm is a micropenis?
‘And even if we do say that what does it mean in fact? What extra help is unlocked because you’ve acquired a new label? None, whatsoever. Labels are for shelves, not for people.’
Let’s return to that cliche we mentioned at the start.
‘Yeah, “get good at oral” is bandied around so much,’ says Smith.
‘But a guy with a small cock will just feel, “Yeah but then my rival packing eight inches can get good at oral too and still have that to finish with”.
‘Again, it doesn’t help. Any suggestion about how to ‘make up for’ having a small penis just reinforces the issue.
‘The best way to help is to forget all about penis size and to concentrate on two things: telling him when he does something that feels good, and listening to him when you try something you hope will feel good.
‘Guys with small dicks have all the same erogenous zones as guys with big dicks. There’s no secrets in that. Attraction and sex – and orgasms – go way beyond a couple of minutes of sticking it in.’