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10 Best Gay and LGBTQ+ Dating Sites and Apps 2021

According to an Urban Institute study, LGBTQ+ singles experienced a sexual victimization rate of 23.2%. That’s roughly 11% higher than the heterosexual rate. From outlandish statistics to negative experiences, one thing has become blatantly obvious: queer, transgender, and pansexual singles need their own space.

And that’s where LGBTQ+ dating apps come in. Providing an open, safe, and supportive arena for anyone to date anyone else in any way they please, these dating sites and apps are growing in popularity. With millions of members worldwide, LGBTQ+ dating apps cater to those who identify their gender and sexuality differently than the average heterosexual.

10 Best Gay and LGBTQ+ Dating Sites and Apps 2021

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This article was co-authored by Imad Jbara. Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. ‚NYC Wingwoman‘ offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth. There are 22 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 1,268,012 times.

Meeting gay guys is hard. First you have to determine if the guy you’re interested in is gay or straight. Then you have to approach him and strike up a conversation. And that’s assuming you have the confidence to walk up to an attractive stranger. Take some time to build up your confidence, and before you know it walking up to that cute guy at the bar won’t be a problem.

Personals & Singles in Minneapolis, Minnesota – 100% Free

The free dating sites are now one of the hottest business ventures in the Internet today and are becoming popular as many of the people are looking for singles in this area. With the help of these websites, singles can get to know each other without having to spend a single dime.

Minneapolis free dating sites provide an excellent service for both singles and individuals seeking a lifelong partner. If you want to use the services of a Minneapolis online dating site, you need to remember to look out for the best ones. There are several online sites that are available, and each of them has its own services that it provides.

A free dating service is the right option if you are just starting out and would like to find someone who is compatible with you. You can also sign up for a paid account so that you can get to know the other person better and make sure that you are compatible before entering into a relationship.

Free dating sites are very popular because they provide an opportunity to meet a person who wants to get to know you in person. The paid dating sites provide members with more advantages such as emailing, chatting and other activities. Some of the paid sites even offer their members access to a member’s area where they can meet up with the person. This is usually a much safer option than meeting in person, since there is always the risk of getting rejected.

Dating apps that are free are also popular because they provide their members with all the information that they need when they join the site. They have profiles of the members, which is necessary for the members to know about each other. Some of the dating sites even offer free counseling for those people who feel that they are not compatible with their chosen partner. In addition, free dating sites usually provide personal ads where members can post their personal ad with the other members who might be interested in meeting them.

Online dating sites are also known to provide members with a forum where they can interact with each other and learn more about each other. As a result, members are able to build strong relationships are usually very successful. The more friends that a person develops the more successful they become. When you become a member of a dating site, you will have the opportunity to meet thousands of members. Therefore, it will be easier for you to build a good network of friends.

Free dating websites are becoming very popular because the members get a lot of benefits without paying anything. Most of these sites will require you to register for only $15 or so and once you sign up, you will get access to all the benefits that the site provides.

For people who want to join a Minneapolis free dating site, make sure to look out for the best companies that are offering this type of service so that you can choose the best online dating site. Make sure that you are dealing with reputable companies that offer quality and reliability. Also check the registration process to see if there are any hidden fees.

Remember that with the many advantages of joining a paid dating site, you should not hesitate to spend some money on the site. The more you pay, the more you will get in return. The most important thing to remember when you are planning to join an online dating site is to not get intimidated by the amount of money that you will have to spend.

As long as you join a reputable company, you will get quality dating experience from a Minneapolis free dating site. This experience will be able to make you a better person who has a good chance of getting a good ’s Comments:Flores

When you are going to a Minneapolis hookup location you need to make sure that you have your cell phone on you at all times. If you do not have your cell phone with you then you will need to make arrangements to get a number, or you can just call up and ask if they know of a number that you can contact. in case you meet someone online.

Before you get to the location where you are meeting with someone, you need to make sure that you are completely prepared for them. When you are going to a Minneapolis hookup location, make sure that you have all of your clothes on and are dressed nicely. You also need to wear comfortable shoes and a clean shirt, since this will help you look nice and look Scott

When you are at a Minneapolis hookup location, make sure that you pay attention to who is around you. You do not want anyone to be suspicious of you, and you do not want to leave the person you are with without a reason. If you have an issue with anyone and you feel uncomfortable then you need to tell them so that they can take precautions.

There are a number of different places that you can go in Minnesota in order to meet someone. These include coffee shops, discos, night clubs, malls, grocery stores, bars, and so on. However, you need to make sure that you are aware of the rules before you meet someone in the privacy of your own home.

Why not merely tell the truth and tell them how you feel?

It is also important for you to keep yourself in great physical shape. If you are not in shape then you are not going to be able to give a person the best chance of getting into you.

By no means, be a booty get in touch with. That’s trashy and risks dangerous illness. This isn’t going to operate. Keep a virgin until matrimony. That’s doing work for it, not some date.

If you are looking to meet someone in Minneapolis then you should definitely consider a Minneapolis hookup. This is one of the fastest growing places in the country, and there are plenty of opportunities in Minnesota for those that want to meet someone new. If you are looking for a new experience in your dating life then this is the place to start.

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There are several types of people in Minnesota, including college students, single parents, couples, seniors, and even singles. You can find people in Minnesota at any time and you have the option of meeting people at restaurants, bars, clubs, coffee shops, and online.

When you are going to a Minneapolis hookup location, make sure that you use a condom during sexual intercourse. If you are having unprotected sex, then you are putting yourself at risk for disease. So it is always a good idea to be safe when you are having sex. Even though you may not want to have sex, you still need to make sure that you are covered and protected.

When you are going to a Minneapolis hookup location it is important for you to make sure that you do everything in a timely manner. If you mess up then you may not have a lot of options.

Dose these actions work in the event the fwb has been occurring for pretty much 24 months and you also confessed how you feel but he was quoted saying he desires to select the circulation?

When you are at a Minneapolis hookup location, make sure that you keep things interesting. Some people are going to be looking at you like you are a deer in headlights, and they are not going to be interested in giving you any information. So it is important for you to keep your eyes open and your thoughts moving. The reason that this is so important is because many people may look at you and judge you based on your looks.

That first insight which you wanted this man only in bed furniture is sooo essential!! I always be enticed by these guys and not a good idea to ensure they boyfriends. Though so liberating to know there IS a way to make them boyfriends!! Thank you!!

I’m not actually planning to change my FWB into a partner, but this was exciting. I’m getting combined signs from him. I’m taking care of receiving my AA and that i made that a priority, from the first day.

When you are trying to meet someone in Minnesota, you want to make sure that you are doing it in a comfortable environment, because there are a number of people who are going to be judging you. If you don’t feel comfortable with them then you will not be able to get a good response from

What if it’s on-line? Could it be still possible to make it happen? After all he day-to-day lives in another regionMilan Brown

me if is a bootycall will continue to be one. It transformed into a bootycall due to the fact that we behaved accordingly – failed to want something much more through the begining and gone uncomplicated to bed. Lmao

If you are going to a Minneapolis hookup location then make sure that you make yourself available to the person that you are going to meet. They are going to ask questions about you, so make sure that you know exactly what their intentions are. If you try to hide anything then they are going to assume that you are not willing to give them a lot of information, and that you are not willing to date them if they ask you out.

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Queer Girl City Guide: Minneapolis, MN

Be prepared to delve into the eclectic and exciting city that is Minneapolis. Experience the vast queertopia where I have resided for nearly five years. Try to hide your excitement as you realize all of the queer opportunities this beautiful city provides. From the homeland of Paul Bunyan comes gayborhoods, queer dance parties, and burlesque shows, OH MY! I like things measured, so I decided to rate each section in this guide with 1 to 5 “you betchas!” I dare you to try to find a section that’s under 3.

Dating in Minneapolis — Meet a Local to Discover the Fantastic City

Anyone can find something to do in this city, not only when it comes to dating in Minneapolis, MN. The significant part is that you can enjoy the place at any time of the year. Thus, ice-skating and cross-country skiing in winter, stand-up paddling, and swimming in summer can be entertaining. In addition to that, there is affordable living, great food, the Wild, and the Vikings. It means that you will get numerous things to share with one of the local singles. Whether you would instead be perfecting tailgating setup, riding the Grand Rounds Scenic Byway, or sampling your way through craft breweries, all the adventures will be enjoyable. The experience will become even more exciting if you do all that with the right person.

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Matchmaking Services Minneapolis

Free personals sites, chat, houston for over 50 yr old, personals site houston canada Join browse – men and charming people in houston new family owned by the houston new family owned by GoTo improve and enhance our free online dating service, personal ads, matchmaking service, since. For a long time, men’s hair salon and women seeking men for men who have a hair salon in houston houston about to. You can use our iPhone, go to determine what you want contact us so you can stay in control today and continue seeing us within an expanded market. We’ll pre-screen and send you a list of people you’ve shown interest in, to you at your pace. And as we’ve increasingly moved our lives online, digital dating’s finally shed the stigma it once carried, leaving people free to meet others however they choose.

In the years since their initial launches, the forefathers of dating sites have forged ahead on mobile while holding on to their desktop roots. Here are our top picks for the dating sites most worth your time: best for international daters. Zoosk There’s a unique matching algorithm that learns your activity, even if you don’t know why you swiped a certain way. Zoosk is for people who want matchmaking services minneapolis something serious, but are open to anyone in the world.

What initially began as a Facebook app developed in has grown into a company with 35 million users in more than 80 countries. Rather than asking its users for dating questions, Zoosk picks dates for its users based on a user’s on-site activity. If you shoot a message to Jake Doe, for example, Zoosk says it’ll use that action to determine which types of profiles to show you going forward. The company also uses its own form of currency called Zoosk coins that are available for purchase. Match The original and largest dating site, its best feature is the enormous user base. Before there were apps on which one could swipe right and left on a dizzying number of potential connections, there was Match.

And with its more recent push into mobile come a few new features that have helped make the ancient site more relevant, including its very own version of Stories, popularized by Snapchat and, uh Match users can shoot little videos of their day or add voiceovers to photos and post them to their profiles for other users to check out. It has the largest critical mass, and they have done matchmaking services minneapolis a fabulous job of keeping up with the technology. The site also recently added Missed Connections which, like the app Happn, tells users who they’ve crossed paths with recently. AdultFriendFinder Live videos, group chats, and more monthly visitors than eharmony makes AFF great for finding a fling. AdultFriendFinder is our pick for the best hookup site, and that’s because it’s literally impossible to walk away unsatisfied.

Match dating app

Download the Match online dating app and you’re always ready to check out profiles near you, and chat with real, committed singles ready for a real relationship. Free for iOS and Android, it puts all the power of Match in the palm of your hand for a faster, smoother online dating experience.

Our Top 10 Choices: Which Is Best For Your Needs?

Scissr – Best for lesbian culture, community, and dating 

Taimi – Best for trendy, social media-based dating 

1. HER

Membership options: Free with a paid premium version

Over the years, the pioneer in lesbian dating apps HER has developed into an all-inclusive platform for women and femmes of all types, identities, and sexual preferences. HER embraces and welcomes more than 18 gender identities and 17 sexual orientations on the profile selection list. HER’s app is easy to use, loaded with communication features, and even hosts local events for more community building.

2. Grindr

Membership options: Free with a paid premium version

Available for gay, bi, trans, and other queer singles, Grindr is one of the most popular dating apps with a reputation of men seeking hookups with other men. Thanks to its powerful geolocation feature, Grindr is a great social networking solution for people who’ve recently moved, relocated, are traveling, or seeking a quick fling in their area.

3. OKCupid

Membership options: Free with paid upgrade options available

OKCupid may be one of the mainstream dating apps but the platform openly welcomes all LGBTQ+ singles. With 22 different gender identities and 12 sexual orientations, LGBTQ+ folks will certainly find their place on the app. Bonus: OKCupid even allows queer people to hide their profile from straight and cisgender people (for safety or personal reasons).

4. Hornet 

Membership options: Free with a paid premium version

Hornet is one of the most popular gay social networking apps and gives queer men a great platform to meet other queer men around the world. The app offers various ways to build community, find other singles, stay current on trending news, and even a list of bathhouses in your area. It’s basically a one-stop-shop for gay social networking.

5. Scruff

Scruff is known as a hotspot for gay hookups no matter where you are in the world. Users enjoy open sharing features and powerful search filters to find whoever and whatever you’re looking for. Scruff is also an excellent travel companion for gay singles looking to meet others while away from home. Plus, the more you swipe, the stronger the algorithm gets!

6. Bumble 

Membership options: Free with a paid premium version

Bumble is all about empowering women and femmes to make the first move. The emphasis is heavy on feminist power with the right to initiate messaging restricted to women and non-binary members. The popular dating app started as a dating app but now features global networking opportunities for building friendships, business relations, social networking, and, of course, relationships. 

7. Scissr

Scissr is a great dating app for lesbian and queer women who want to network and connect with other members of the LGBTQ+ community. The app is designed for women, femmes, and non-binary folks who are looking to find friends, date, and discuss culture and relationships with other queer singles. The app’s design is sleek and user-friendly with free chat and image sharing features.

8. Jack’d

Membership options: Free with a paid premium version

Jack’d prides itself on being the most diverse dating app for gay, bi, and trans people. It boasts a powerful geolocation feature that helps you browse singles all over the world and flag them for conversations or private photo and video sharing. If you struggle to break the ice, Jack’d even offers a chat phrases feature which gives helpful conversation starters. 

9. Hinge

Membership options: Free with a paid premium version

Hinge calls itself the dating app that is meant to be deleted because it puts a heavy emphasis on serious relationships. Profiles are built on bold questions to quickly and effectively uncover personality quirks and offer conversation starters for matches. Hinge will ask you about your political affiliation and how you feel about legalizing weed and offers plenty of gender identification options as well.

10. Taimi

Membership options: Free with a paid premium version

Taimi is a LGBTQ+ dating platform that features a nice mashup of dating, chatting, and social networking capabilities for people of all gender identities and sexualities. The app is designed perfectly for today’s fast-paced, short-attention-span, social-media focused society. Taimi is geared towards a safe dating culture for the LGBTQ+ community with values that include diversity and inclusion and a zero tolerance policy toward discrimination. 

Reviewing the Top LGBTQ+ Dating Sites: Our Methodology

’s dating app and website reviews are based on independent research, trusted third party sites, user reviews, and individual use of the product through free or paid trials. For the rest of the information, we rely on what the brand says about its own product offering, public reviews and complaints, and ratings from independent agencies like the BBB and trusted publications. Some of the key features we compared when reviewing the LGBTQ+ dating apps on our list include, but are not limited to, pricing, accessibility, number of members, and communication options. 

What You Need to Know Before Choosing an LGBTQ+ Dating Site

Dating as a member of the LGBTQ+ community can be fun, enjoyable, and successful if you know how to navigate the apps. Before signing up and spending time creating a profile, here are some things to ask yourself about the queer dating site you’re interested in:

What Types of LGBTQ+ Dating Sites Are There?

There are a lot of niche dating apps out there, including those for the LGBTQ+ community. Which one you’ll choose all depends on what you’re hoping to gain from it. You can look for the most selective one out there to really tailor your dating experience, opt for a broader dating app and see what (or who) you find, or pick one with a specific intention (like hookups only, serious relationships, or casual situationships). Sometimes you can find an app that caters to all of these. In which case, you’ll need to specify your preferences on your profile page and/or when chatting with a potential date (more on this below). As with love and relationships, the choice is yours to make. 

How Much Does LGBTQ+ Dating Cost

Each LGBTQ+ dating app presents its own cost. Whereas some are entirely free, others are freemium, and the rest are totally paid. 

Free or freemium dating apps let you create an account and browse the network for potential matches. However, you’ll have to pay to unlock more, better features that might introduce you to the type of person or relationship you’re seeking. 

Subscription-based dating apps charge you a flat rate every month and grant you access to all available features. Monthly subscriptions generally start around $9/month and go up from there. You almost always get a discount for signing up for multiple months at once, too.

Other sites charge per action. Want to chat? 5 credits. Send a pic? 5 credits. Send a gift? You got it. 5 credits. You’ll buy credits in a bundle then they’ll subtract from your account whenever you take an action. This pricing structure can quickly get expensive so watch your spending while using these apps.

Love Is Out There, Find It Today

Modern dating is complicated enough without having to explain your gender identity or sexual orientation. In addition to safety factors, this is why LGBTQ+ dating apps are so helpful. Whether you’re looking to find a good friend who views the world from a similar perspective as you, want a playful night with a stranger, or are searching for that special someone to spend the rest of your life with, queer dating apps make the entire process a lot smoother, easier, and more enjoyable for everyone. Check it out, and see who you might find!

The Best Site for Experienced Men

We here at Gay Arrangement know the value of experience. Your time is valuable, and you don’t want to waste it with awkward or coy interactions which beat around the bush. You’re looking for someone younger than you, someone you can mentor and have a true, blossoming relationship with.

If this sounds like you, don’t waste another second on other sites which don’t offer the experience and companionship of Gay Arrangement. Join our site today and browse through thousands of gay, attractive, and single boys. These boys are waiting for their Daddy, so join today and find the one that’s right for you.

The Best Site for Boys Looking for a Daddy

There are thousands of boys are who are attractive, ambitious, and just waiting to enjoy the finer things in line. These boys are striving to meet a successful and equally attractive mentor who will share life experiences and be a rock to lean on in tough times. 

If you’re one of these boys, join Gay Arrangement today. Our site offers thousands of Daddies who are looking to support you through troubling times, enlighten you about life’s mysteries, and assist you with your dreams and passions. These Daddies are ready to care for you, so sign up today and learn the true value of experience.

Gay Arrangement is the leading Gay dating site for Daddies and Boys. Gay dating matchmaking exclusively for successful and attractive gay men.

Gay Dating with EliteSingles

While there are a lot of gay dating sites for men seeking men out there, not all of them cater to those guys who are seriously searching for a lasting relationship. EliteSingles is different. We believe that a long term relationship requires two people to really gel, which is why we prioritize an intelligent matchmaking process and create connections between our users that we’re confident can go the distance.

It couldn’t be easier to start dating with us; simply register with our service, take our in-depth questionnaire and start building your personal profile – you’ll be meeting like-minded gay singles in no time at all!

Once you’ve completed our personality test, you’ll then receive 3-7 partner matches daily for your review. In this way, we streamline the online dating experience so that you can focus on the singles you’re truly suited to and don’t waste time and energy on dead-end connections.

If and when you do have more time, you can always use our ‘Have you met…’ search function to seek out additional profiles. What’s more our dating agency is here to help you get the most out of our service throughout the entire process of finding love, starting with our handy guide to online dating, available with our apps or on desktop. From sending the first messages to getting ready for your first date, we here to help get your love life off the ground.

Professional Men Seeking Men

It’s not always easy to find a long-term partner on the gay dating scene, particularly if you have a clear idea of what you want in a man. Bars and clubs in the US tend to be more for fun than the future and not everyone wants to combine their social, romantic and professional lives. But there is one place where it is possible to make that long-term view a reality – and that’s online.

Many gay dating sites and apps, like Grindr, have a bit of a reputation, perfect for casual encounters and not much else, it’s difficult to know where to turn when the time has come and you’re ready to get serious about gay dating online. Enter EliteSingles. Our members are all here looking for lasting love and deeper connection, and since we use advanced technology to verify profiles, you can approach your matches knowing they’re well-intentioned singles who are genuinely compatible with you.

Catering for professional men seeking men, our membership base includes many eligible gay singles who are both mature and highly-educated. The typical EliteSingles member is aged 30-55, and a massive 85% is highly educated! Sound like you? You’re in the right place to meet a like-minded community of open online dating users!

Gay Dating in the US

In many practical ways, gay dating in the US this year is the easiest it’s ever been. All across the country, and particularly in big cities like San Francisco and Washington DC, gay men, lesbian womenLGBT singles are finding love and settling down together. Yet, easier overall doesn’t always mean easier on an individual level. If you’ve been single for a while it can be all too easy to view tales of lasting love and marriage as some sort of sign for an urban relationship myth, meant only for the very handsome, the very rich or the very lucky! Rest assured, there are plenty of men seeking men just like you out there, who long for a lasting relationship too – we can help you find them, and strike up a chat.

Do you want to meet single men with whom you are truly compatible? Then join EliteSingles today.

A significant proportion of EliteSingles US members are busy professionals and, as a result, we have a created a dating site that can suit even the tightest schedule and make the most of your time. Fully optimized for smart phones & tablets, with a handy dating app also available, EliteSingles is ideal for men seeking men on the go, on our app you can still review profiles and send messages.

Our service is likewise streamlined: our smooth matchmaking algorithm combines with a focus on customer safety and users’ support. That means that your precious free time can be spent on the fun part of online dating – the dates themselves!

We streamline our matchmaking process by getting to know the real you via our in-depth personality test. Based on the Five Factor model theory by McCrae and Costa, this test forms the backbone of the EliteSingles experience and the basis of our smart matchmaking.

This free test allows us to analyze your levels of openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness and neuroticism. We then combine these results with your relationship plans and desired location, allowing us to introduce to the kind of American men you want to meet and embark on that all important first date.

We may have many diverse singles on our dating site, but they do have one thing in common: when it comes to love, the single guys are looking for the real thing. This is why, when we suggest profiles to our users to view, we do so with long-term compatibility and, perhaps, marriage in mind.

This means that, if you’re gay, dating in the US, and ready for lasting love, EliteSingles can help you find it. We believe in bringing love to everyone who is serious about finding it and we work hard to ensure that our match suggestions are up to the task. Why not join us to today to meet yours?

About This Article

Picking up a gay man can be intimidating, but if you play it cool, act confident, and be yourself, you’ve definitely got this! Approach guys who interest you with a simple “Hello” or a smile to get a conversation started. After you’ve introduced yourself to a guy, make small talk to get to know him a bit. When you’ve met someone you like, be honest and tell him that you’re into him. If you’re unsure whether he likes you, see if he makes eye contact, which is a sign he’s into you. Once you feel confident he likes you, be direct and ask whether he wants to do something together, like dancing in a club or meeting for coffee. Don’t forget to ask for his phone number so you can stay in touch. For tips on how to follow up with a guy after you’ve got his number, read on!Did this summary help you?YesNo

Bars

Minneapolis has lots of “gay” bars, but you have to be kind of specific if you want to find the ladies. The list below tends to have the most queer girls hanging out just on regular, non-event nights. Use the google to find some of the other gay bars if you exhaust this list.

The 19 Bar(19 West 15th Street) is probably where I spend most of my time in barlandia. It’s nestled in the Loring Park neighborhood (see below for gayborhoods) and is one of the oldest gay bars in town. It’s definitely more of a dive, it’s dimly lit from the ceiling, but I honestly think most of the light comes from the jukebox (packed full of Madonna and Prince). This is one of those beautiful bars where you can get a bag of popcorn for $1; yes, the microwave kind. They host pool tournaments and have a smoking porch out back, which is fantastic in the summer and offers lots of natural light when day drinking. Open Mon-Sun 12 pm to 2 am.

(990 Central Ave NE) is a fairly new bar in NE Minneapolis. They host a weekly lesbian event and have a really cool space. They have a patio where you can do a variety of things…smoke, make out on one of the many seating arrangements, drink, fill in the blank. There is an open fire bar to keep you warm (which is sometimes important in Minnesota), but be very careful for loose clothing, scarves or long hair near the flame. I would assume you understand why. Open Tue-Fri 4 pm to 2 am and Sat-Sun 10 am to 2 am.

(1415 University Ave W.) is in St. Paul (I know, shhhh), but it’s one of the only bars in the Twin Cities that was at one point deemed a “Lesbian Bar”. The crowd can be kind of weird sometimes and my typical mode of transportation is bike, so I rarely go here. They host a monthly event called Dragged Out that is featured below and totally worth seeing. Open Mon-Weds 3 pm to 1 am, Thurs-Fri 3 pm to 2 am and Sat-Sun 12 pm to 2 am.

Events

Soul Friday is held on the first Friday of every month at Hell’s Kitchen (80 South 9th St.). Hell’s Kitchen is another queer friendly great place to hang out. Soul Friday was created for queer women of color and friends. It’s a dance party with local DJ’s spinning great R & B, old and new hip-hop, house and more. The place is usually packed and it’s a great time.

Berlin is held the last Saturday of every month. It was originally held at Club Underground in NE Minneapolis, but is currently moving to Hell’s Kitchen. Berlin is an Indie Queer Revolution Dance Party (say that three times fast). The music typically strays from top 40 stuff you’ll hear at most other clubs. It showcases alternative types of music, which makes it my favorite event of them all.

Blush is held every Friday at Lush (listed above). This event can sometimes be a bit of an amateur night, but it’s a great option if there’s not much else going on. Like I said it’s a really cool space and there’s bound to be lots of girls every Friday.

Dragged Out is held on the third Friday of every month at The Townhouse Bar (listed above). Dragged Out is a diverse cast of LGBT members that give amazing performances to great music. This event packs the Townhouse Bar. Every time I’ve attended it’s hard to even walk around. Bring lots of ones though, you’ll want to tip the performers. They’ve been travelling to perform as of late, but will always call The Townhouse their home.

Booby Trap used to be a monthly event held in the basement of a bear bar. Unfortunately it has now been changed to a quarterly event. During Pride this event is a blow out though. The Booby Trap Girls are always performing. Scantly dressed beauties dancing and swinging from poles. I really wish it was still a monthly event, or a weekly one for that matter.

Gettin’ Smart

Minneapolis houses many different colleges. You can choose from a variety of technical schools, art schools and universities. Schools also range in price, from very affordable to stupid expensive. I think you would be hard pressed to find one without a LGBT community or club/group to join though. We even have our very own all women’s school, probably can’t go wrong there.

Gettin’ Yo Game On

Minneapolis has a hidden gem called the Minnesota Machine. It’s an all women’s tackle football league. It would be a great way to meet new people and play a sport that isn’t available in many other places. They’re always looking for new players and no experience is necessary.

I feel obligated to mention the roller derby league, because it’s such a woman centric sport, BUT if you’re looking for a girl to date look in the stands, not on the track. I think there are typically more girls looking for girls in attendance than actually participating in the sport. Either way it’s still fun to watch girls in tight clothes hit each other. Minneapolis has two different leagues, the Minnesota Roller Girls and the North Star Roller Girls.

Biking is a very big deal in Minneapolis. The queer girls like it A LOT too and Minneapolis hosts two very unique bike races. is an all women’s bike race hosted in the summer and Cirque Du SoGay, which is run by Queer Bike Gang in the fall. Cirque Du SoGay is a bike race for the LGBTQA crowd and is a fantastic time and it has a bitchin name.

I’ll mention our WNBA team the too. In one word… gay.

You can probably also just stand at any softball field around 4 o’clock and find a pack of sporty dykes pumpin iron or “throwin the pig skin around”. You know, like they do.

Eatin’ And Drinkin’ In Style

(810 W Lake St) is an awesome queer friendly restaurant/bowling alley. They have amazing brunch and a great list of Bloody Marys to choose from. They also host a cheap date night, you’ll look real thoughtful and savvy when you bring your date to this ambient atmosphere, especially if they don’t know you’re only spending $30 on both the entrees, appetizer, bowling AND a bottle of wine. Open from 8 am to 2 am every day.

(2933 Lyndale Ave S) You can find Muddy Waters laced in Atmosphere’s lyrics, if you’re into that mid-western hip-hop that’s become so popular. This coffee shop turned restaurant is one of my all time favorites. They have a classy coffee bar running parallel to the real bar. Any time of the day is good at Muddy Waters. It’s also a great place to bring a date with amazing dinner entrees and a fantastic beer selection. Open Mon – Fri 7 am to 2 am and Sat-Sun 8am to 2 am.

Seward Café (2129 E. Franklin Ave) is a punk, vegan/vegetarian, sit down and have a discussion about the intricacies of destroying the system or where you got your black boots type of place. The food here is AMAZING and it’s one of the oldest collectively run businesses in Minneapolis. Open Mon – Fri 7 am to 3 pm and Sat-Sun 8 am to 4 pm.

(2451 Nicollet Ave) is a very well designed coffee shop. They have an adorable patio and standing coffee bar outside and comfortable and squishy things to sit on inside. Their trade-mark black cup makes you look extremely stylish when you drink the concoction of your choice. It’s a popular place to study and meet up with people during the day or night. They have delicious baked goods that are baked locally at one of our many co-ops. I would advise you to only go to the Nicollet location though – hence me only posting that address. Open Mon-Fri 6:30 am to 12 am Saturday 7 am to 12 am and Sunday 8 am to 12 am.

(3405 Chicago Ave) is a fairly new coffee shop. Nestled next to the Trans Youth Support Network this is an amazing place for LGBTQA people to feel comfortable and accepted. It’s a queer owned coffee shop and while the owners said it’s not a LGBTQ specific spot they are definitely “really queer.” Exactly the type of place I like to spend time. It’s situated in the Powderhorn Neighborhood, which is one of our listed gayborhoods. With space for local artists to display their artwork and a garden right outside their doors this is a fantastic place to spend your time and money. Open Mon-Sun 7 am to 7 pm.

(708 W 22nd St) isn’t really a queer coffee shop, but you can find this queer chick named Meg here all of the time. She’ll be in the back booth waiting for you. Open Mon-Sun 6:30 am to 1 am.

(3440 Bloomington Ave) is an adorable café in the Powderhorn neighborhood (see gayborhoods). It has a completely welcoming atmosphere and a great selection of food and beverages. This is a very suitable place to bring that vegan girl you just started dating. She’ll think you’re real hip to her socially conscious diet. Open Mon-Sun 7 am to 6 pm.

47 Comments

Well done. So happy to see my city (and many of my favorite places) given some live. Not surprisingly, I live in Powderhorn Park.

Dear Jacqui I am sad that you didn’t mention Bob’s Java Hut beneath Uptown Tattoos which is a great coffee house for people who love motorcycles including girls too. Also wanted to see some great barber shops that could’ve been listed. More women are going to barer shops now and while it can be intimidating the first time you go into one, more women should do so. I’m interested in starting a dyke barber shop. The ones like Saints Coast and Atleta (a black barbershop on West 7th) are some of the best and I go there to get my head buzzed. I’ve felt very comfortable there. I wish you’d have gotten into more about Twin Cities colleges including St. Kate’s my alma mater. Minneapolis College of Art and Design which is also in the gay friendly neighborhood of Whittier in south Mpls.

And while we’re at it why did you give St. Paul a big yawn? Yes some of my Mpls friends think I died when I moved over here but there’s a lot here. Including great restaurants including Meritage and Saint Dinette and a great Tibetan restaurant. The days of having to travel back to Mpls for a good meal are over. You also completely missed the artist/very gay friendly downtown St. Paul neighborhood of Lowertown and The Black Dog, Big River Pizza, and while we’re at it Zamboni’s pizza on the other side of downtown St. Paul which I think is in the top 3 best pizza in the cities. And The Lowertown Art Fair which sadly didn’t happen this year. The cool boutiques, bodegas, bakeries and restaurants that Selby Dale is known for.

I’ve spent a lot of time in both cities and if you’re looking for any kind of home St. Paul is way cheaper with great houses than Mpls. In fact we moved to St. Paul because we were paying tons for a 300 sq foot apt. Now we live in a massive converted factory and pay probably half of what we would pay for this anywhere in St. Paul. I had an aunt who used to say to me “dear you know I never fo to Mpls.” “But why? You don’t have to exchange your money at the Mississippi River?” And now I know why. Also The Uptown and the dear Lagoony and Edina theaters that show indie and foreign films are gems.

Mpls has the hubris and excitement but there’s a lot of trendiness, safe neighborhoods and yes, peace and quiet over here so maybe the folks who never come over here should stay in Mpls. Just sayin’. I’m a fourth generation Minnesotan so maybe I should write my own column? You also missed The Kit Kat Club in Dinkytown, the great ethnic restaurants along University Ave and GRRRL Scouts at Nomad Bar. Thanks but you should wander out of your own neighborhood more often ya know? Yooooo Betcha! Uff Da!

Thanks for this! I recently moved back to Minneapolis (I grew up here) and am getting to know it as an adult. I’ve been to many of the bars, parties and cafes you’ve suggested. Berlin is the best! Soooo looking forward to this Saturday. One question for you… how do you get into different friend groups here? I don’t remember it being that difficult but I’ve run into some pretty closed packs since I’ve moved back. I’m all about meeting new people and making new friends but people seem to be hesitant to the idea of new people or something… Either that, or I’m giving of weird vibes. Hopefully not! Just wondering if you have any ideas on that. Might give The Twin Cities Avengers a try. Seems like a group I would really dig.

The TC avengers don’t really seem to be updating their websites, etc for the last couple of years. I think it might be a group that goes in waves, because I remember this from when I lived there. But getting it kickstarted again would be super cool.

OK. Thanks for letting me know. I’ll keep trying to plug in with other groups too. Meetup has been ok. Maybe now that the weather is nicer, people will be out and about more.

It just takes time in Minneapolis too. Just keep hanging out at the events and hitting up queer spots and it will happen.

Don’t listen to the advice to stay away from St. Paul. Maybe I’m biased after living there for 5 years, but I feel like it’s the most beautiful place in the world. Bookstores, ice cream shops, lots of ethnic food, bike lanes, gluten free bakeries, and like you mentioned, one (slightly odd) lesbian bar. But the last time I heard, they had $5 cover with dollar drinks one weird day during the week and one Friday a month, SO HEY THAT’S AWESOME. It’s a cute bar because there’s a cool combo of sporty baby dykes, usually one sassy gay man dancing by himself with his eyes closed, and older lesbians awkwardly dancing with their partners/wives, which is adorable. The bartender complimented my smile all the time and would give me extra cherries in my whiskey sours.

There used to be a bar/club in Lowertown St. Paul (closed because of lightrail construction) called Rumours/Innuendo that I would go to once or twice a week with my gay roommate for karaoke. I miss that so much. They also hosted drag shows (kings and queens) and maybe a monthly queer women’s night? There used to be several (Lure, Twilight, Booby Trap) that I knew of. Glad to see Booby Trap is still in operation (sort of). You could get lapdances or buy your friends lapdances for things like birthdays, embarrassing them, etc.

Anyway I just had to put in my two cents that I love St. Paul. And also, it’s kind of a law that once, preferably when you’re a baby gay, you have to go to the drag show at the Gay 90’s in downtown Minneapolis. Then you should leave, because every girl you hit on will be straight. It doesn’t mean they won’t make out with you.

Also there was a sweet place in St. Paul to work on your bike that had women’s nights. I think it was a co-op.

And there were always a goodly amount of concerts in the area.

also roller derby is great, the MN rollergirls are amaaaazing, and North Star is a league that is very fun to watch. Ok I’m done.

So I wrote a long rant about how St Paul is great and then my browser closed on me. LYFE IS RUFF

Anyways. I agree with the above reaction. I really appreciate that this was written. It is so great and I am glad that there is finally a Queer guide to Minneapolis. However, being a resident of St Paul (a queer resident at that) I want to make it clear that St. Paul is a very queer friendly and beautiful city to both live in and visit. I wish we weren’t included under things to avoid because, as the Twin Cities, it would be to our great advantage to relish in the fact that we both have a lot of stellar things to share and so much potential if we support one another! What other cities can claim that?

I live in St Paul and I love visiting Minneapolis. I find that both cities have a vibrant queer community. I mean, seriously, St Paul is momma to two of the most queer colleges in the state if not the nation (Macalester and St. Catherine’s University). I can attest. I graduated from ST. Kate’s. An all women’s school. So many queer womyn.

I just want to clarify so that anybody who is planning on moving or visiting Minnesota isn’t turned off by the “avoidance” because they assume St Paul will be homophobic. It is so far from that.

Cycles for Change is the women&trans folk bike co-op located on University Avenue. It is stellar. The Lowertown bike depot is queer friendly and is run by a woman. The Townhouse, Black Dog Cafe, Trotter’s, Kopplin’s coffeeshop, Rumours/Innuendo (RIP…thxxx a lot, light rail), Key’s Cafe, we are the home of the roller girls, etc etc etc.

So, maybe less St. Paul bashing and more Twin Cities LOVINNNNnnn because both of these beautiful places are home to hundreds of beautiful queers! & we all love beautiful queers!

St. Paul is great in all the ways, and the Twin Cities have awesome public transportation that stretches across both (and into the burbs). So don’t be afraid of it, or you’re gonna miss out on that awesome Afghani restaurant over by Macalester. And also, of course, the land of lesbians (St Kate’s).

Fun fact, I seriously considered applying to St Kate’s and ended up at St Thomas, the must less fun brother school nearby. WHOOPS (but I still loved it).

Also can we talk about Izzy’s for a second? Best ice cream ever, awesome flavors, soy and sorbet options all the time, AND THEY GIVE YOU AN IZZY SCOOP (a baby scoop) of another flavor on top of your regular scoop.

They also sold Izzy cones of the teeny scoops for tiny people. You haven’t seen cute until you’ve seen a cute tiny child with a cute tiny ice cream cone.

Sorry I will try to stop being nostalgic for St. Paul for now.

Thank you!! As a fellow St. Paul lesbian, I also felt the sting of the “stay away from St. Paul” statement! I don’t quite understand the rivalry between Minneapolis and St. Paul, maybe that is because I am a transplant (2 years ago from Seattle) though. Anyways, I love both of the Twin Cities and think it is a shame to discount the awesomeness of St. Paul. 🙂

Yes I agree! I lived in Saint Paul for 8 years. And has the history of “firsts” in LGBTQIA+ rights. It has been the front runner of legislation since 1983! In 1983 Saint Paul City Council president Bob Sylvester came out as transgender, and under went sexual confirmation surgery to transition. Susan Kimberly, didn’t retire from the council until 2010! In 1990 Saint Paul city ordinances were passed that plainly protected LGBT communities, and efforts to appeal the decision were quickly shot down by Saint Paul residents. In 1993 amended the state’s Human Rights Act to prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation in federal hiring practices, which appeared in ;s City ordinance. Saint Paul has been at the fore front of setting precedents in the Twin Cities, and continues to be the capitol city I am proud to say represents me on a national stage as well as, as my city!

I was curious when MPLS would be featured on autostraddle. JACQUI YOU DID GREAT. also funny how i recognize like 85% of the people in these photos.

I just wanted to let y’all know that the picture is not of Soul Friday – that’s a blurred out picture of Lush.

Hurray for a guide to my favorite city, and a city I’m moving back to this June! Thanks for introducing me to some new reasons to love Minneapolis more.

There are a couple more pieces of information I’d like to add that may be of interest to you..

1. More about THE BIKING. This is pretty much the main reason why I am moving back to Minneapolis. Minneapolis and Portland usually fight every year for the top bike city. The bike trail and on-road bike lane system is a dream. Surly is from here. There are a good amount of winter bike commuters that gear up and fight the cold and snow. Heck, there’s even a yearly bike art show called ArtCrank (billed as “a poster party for bike people”). If you want a good intro to the Minneapolis bike scene, I’d recommend doing this. Rent a Nice Ride (Minneapolis’s bike share program) bike at one of the many kiosks set up around the city on a nice warm day, bike down the Midtown Greenway bike and pedestrian only path and stare at all the happy people biking and playing in happy happy harmony, and then finish your ride by cooling off in one of the city’s many lakes (I prefer Cedar lake where you’ll find a mix of punks, families, hippies, queers, and everything in between). Also. there are plenty of great bike shops around the Twin Cities to help you get rolling. And as Marika mentioned, there’s a community bike shop called Cycles for Change in St. Paul that has a weekly women’s and trans night (I haven’t been to this women’s/trans night, but I’ve been to one and Portland and had a super fantastic experience).

2. THE BEER. Minneapolis (and the Twin Cities as a whole) has a lot of good beer, and now there seems to be a good amount of brewing companies/taprooms popping up including Indeed and Dangerous Man (which I have yet to check out) in an area of Minneapolis know as Northeast (MY SOON TO BE GAYBORHOOD). There are also the staples, such as Grainbelt, Surly (not the same as the bike company, but just as good), and Summit.

3. THE MUSIC. The music scene in Minneapolis (local and international) is the. best. There are so many places to see live music that I would spend all day trying to list them. BUT, I’ll throw a few options out there. First Avenue is a must. IF you’ve seen Purple Rain, you’ll know. If you haven’t, GO WATCH IT. Also, the Cedar Cultural Center is located near the already mentioned Hard Times cafe and is a community, non-profit, world music theater. I saw Kaki King play there this past winter and I fell in love with her (music) all over again…

Hope this adds to an already great rundown of things to do, see, and get involved with in Minneapolis. Come find me on my bike.

I actually don’t think they mentioned Hard Times cafe (but they did mention Seward) so thanks for mentioning that! I took my vegan sister there when she visited because it’s a great greasy spoon spot for vegans, if you don’t mind sassy service or kind of lack thereof. However, it’s cheap as all get out and you get what you pay for.

I just remember we had a goodly amount of food, it was early o’clock when her flight came in so it was completely empty (open 22 hours a day) and the coffee was sooooooooo strong.

It’s actually a picture of a pride event at first ave.

The caption is incorrect, we apologize. Just trying to give Soul Friday some love, but we can ask that it be removed if it’s bothering you.

Please do! Inaccurate captions are misleading/confusing.

FYI, unicorns, I’ve reached out to Jacqui for verification of the image in question. Right now it has no caption. I’ll update it when I hear back.

Three cheers for Bren! Also, I miss First Ave. That checkered floor always sticky with beer, that ceiling that was scary to look up at, the sketchy bathrooms, the amazing concerts…

Autostraddle and Minneapolis are ridiculously linked in my life. That city will always be my queer home away from home, and I am SO GLAD that winter is finally over!

Thank you for this! I’m moving back to Wisconsin from Florida, and I’ve been considering relocating to the Twin Cities area in a month or two.

YAY!! I’m so excited that this exists!! I just moved to a small city north of Minneapolis from beautiful, IPA-loving, rainbow-flag-waving Oregon, and I’ve been wondering about the fun things I can do when I visit the Cities! Thanks for all the great ideas I can enjoy now that it’s stopped snowing (knock on wood…)

I’m from Wisconsin, but a lot of my college friends were from the Cities so I visit pretty often. This summer will be my 5th Pride there. It is always magical. And by magical, I mean really gay and really drunk. Most of my friends are gay men so I usually end up at the Saloon. It’s most definitely a gay dude space, but it’s fun if you’re into that kind of scene and don’t mind a lack of lesbians. On Pride, though, girls are everywhere and the Saloon always has a huge block party on Sunday that gets better every year. Highly recommended. I’ve been to Lush (or Blush rather) a few times. That was a ton of fun, too. Their Friday night Pride party was great and there were so many cute girls there I literally got sweaty palms when I first walked in.

Oh and if you’re a family oriented queer, I BELIEVE there may still be an organization called Rainbow Families. We (queers from my school) would volunteer at the Halloween party and at a conference they would hold yearly.

I think it was really great as far as support for both queer parents and their kids.

I checked out Lunchboxx and there’s nothing yet. Is it going to be all Twin Cities stuff or just Minneapolis? Obviously this is very Minneapolis oriented and I really dislike the queer/hipster idea that St. Paul suuuuuucks so let me spend all my time in Uptown or Loring Park or whatever the cool neighborhood is nowadays, and completely ignoring the super cool other city.

I ask because it seems like you run it which I also like people to disclose when promoting a website but hey, can’t force people to do that.

Hey Marika, just here to answer a few of your questions, which are totally valid and i appreciate the feedback. Jacqui and I created this queer guide of Minneapolis, and perhaps we were a bit to candid about disliking Saint Paul. I actually work in Saint Paul, and both Jacqui and I think that Saint Paul is a great place to live and play. It’s just that we don’t spend much time there, and it sort of a running joke if you will, to say people live in Saint Paul, and party in Minneapolis. To be completely transparent, we do spend most of our time in Minneapolis, and we wanted to write about what we knew. The goal of this city guide was to get people out and about, meeting one another and getting involved in this amazing queer community that we have here. And the same goes for Lunchboxx. I started Lunchboxx in 2010…on the way home from my GLBT lit class, I realized that there wasn’t any one source for information about the queer community in the twin cities, and I wanted it to be easier for people to access all of the amazing stuff happening in the queer community in one spot. I also wanted to promote people that were doing really cool things in the community, but weren’t getting any press. So that’s what we’re trying to do with Lunchboxx. Promote awesome queers, events and happenings to make us stronger as a community. We don’t have any content on the website yet, because we’re just two people with full time jobs and we need everyone’s help to make this website. In the end, we’d like the website to be a comprehensive guide to queer life in the twin cities and the surrounding area. We’ve asked our friend Annah to help us write about Saint Paul, as she is a unicorn that knows both Minneapolis and Saint Paul very well. That information will eventually be on Lunchboxx, but we really can’t do this alone! This Minneapolis queer guide is just the tip of the iceberg and we’d love to share your story and your favorite things too, we just don’t know what they are.

Ingrid, thank you for this. I just felt odd about the potential of someone promoting a website (especially one that will sell merch/things) without disclosing that it was their own, you know?

And I hope you get some good people to help you out with St. Paul. Just remember St. Paul has awesome people and places too, and mocking it may not make St. Paul denizens particularly happy or particularly willing to listen to you/visit the website/buy the things, yes? I was just kind of bummed out by the hating on St. Paul, especially when things like the Minnesota Rollergirls and the women’s college (St. Kate’s) were mentioned without saying they’re in St. Paul.

So in future it might be more diplomatic to say “I don’t spend a lot of time in St. Paul” instead of “places to stay away from include St. Paul” if you want to appeal to more than one very specific group of people.

I bet that if you used all of the things that you’ve talked about on this comment thread you could start your very own queer guide for St. Paul. You seem like a St. Paul expert and since this guide was just for Minneapolis I think that St. Paul should have it’s very own guide! Sorry it took me a while to follow up on comments. I’ve been sick the past week.

Thank you for this!!! I have lived in MN almost my entire life, but have only recently kind of came out, so I know relatively nothing about the queer community here. I was actually a little shocked when autostraddler had that top lesbian cities list and Minneapolis made number 12… still a little shocked it was even on the list.

These are all good points, but really, Minneapolis would need many pages to do it justice. I’ve lived in NY and SF, and I honestly like both the queer scene and overall quality of life here better. The diversity, the beautiful seasons, the arts community here, just about everything. If you feel too old/mellow/midwestern for big city queer cliques/drama, the twin cities is a lovely alternative.

My wife and I recently bought a house in Whittier, and it’s amazing being able to walk to downtown, uptown, Eat Street and the lakes. Fun weekend things to do are awesome, but what really seals the deal are the simple things, like everyone wanting to give my dog some lovin on walks, and how much nature can be found in an urban setting. We’re very lucky to have the Mississippi and so many lakes, and we do not take them for granted.

This is so wonderful. I’ve lived in Minneapolis for four years, and like Leigh (a couple of comments above) only came out properly just recently. I live right on the edge of the Powderhorn neighborhood, and have been to a good number of these events/bars/awesome places, but did not know about Berlin, for instance, or that Minneapolis has a women’s tackle football team!

The only thing I’d add is that Boneshaker is a stellar bookstore that is super queer friendly. The Seward neighborhood never stops getting more awesome!

Woot! What a wonderful list! If it’s a living list, I would like to suggest the theatre company I run for inclusion–we’re a strictly LGBTQIA* and feminist organization with a secondary emphasis on inclusion of people marginalized for other reasons as well as giving new playwrights opportunities. We are Gadfly Theatre Productions at for more info. I hate that this sounds so spammy, but I think we go great with your other stuff! Also, if it’s not a living list, just ignore me. I’ll still love Autostraddle forever and ever.

Hi! Is the list of Minneapolis gayborhoods no longer online?

Very “educational” & funny. thank you for this. I love it & shared it on my facebook wall. Looking to get out there being a newly single Bi Gal. again ty

Omg! How do you not have Grrl scout’s listed as an event?!? It’s at the Nomad in riverside. Here’s a link…

It’s one of the best lesbian monthly events in my opinion.

Great job on the article. I would add the Blue Moon Cafe to the list of cafes. I was surprised that it wasn’t included.

If the all women’s school you’re referring to is St Kate’s…y’all in for a nasty surprise. While Katies are (mostly) open-minded, the PRIDE club is tragic and dating is dismal. Great school, but not full of lesbians.

Is It a Good Idea to Use a Minneapolis Dating Service?

Even though the city offers numerous places where you can meet someone you could date, modern people prefer using dating services in Minneapolis. The thing is that everybody wants to find an ideal partner as soon as possible. You can go to the mentioned above places, but there is no guarantee that the person you approach will want serious relationships the way you do. That is why they prefer getting acquainted with local singles on a dating website and communicate with them before going on the first date. Besides, many people feel more confident when using a Minneapolis dating service. One of the reasons is that they may be afraid of rejections, and it is easier not to bother about it in the case of a dating service.

Another significant part is that dating websites help their customers find an ideal partner quickly. Thus, they offer matches according to a member’s preferences. That is why there is no need to search for potential partners, as you can choose from suggestions. Local singles value their time because it is better to spend more time exploring the city and enjoying numerous events. This fact makes dating websites the right solution, indeed.

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Another Night at Bars?

You are a gay man who has been single far too long. You are good looking and smart, have a great set of friends, and take care of yourself: A “real catch,” you tell your buds. But something deep inside is telling you that the way you have been going about finding a man isn’t working.

As you check yourself in the mirror before getting ready to hit the bars again, you think, “There has got to be a better way than the gay bars! I keep going week after week and no luck. Will it happen tonight? Oh crap, is that a pimple?”

Seriously, being a gay man and trying to find someone to date is a real chore. There are tons of hurdles to overcome that can make it feel like the deck is stacked against us. One major barrier can be figuring out where to meet someone. While bars can be a fun place to hang out with our friends, they are not always conducive to romantic connections. And let’s face it—as time goes on, the inability to meet a quality person can take its toll on our confidence.

After speaking with a number of formerly single gay men who are now happily partnered, I will now reveal seven places to find your next boyfriend that are not a bar.

7 Places to Find Your Next Boyfriend That Are Not a Bar

What follows are seven suggestions for places for gay men to meet a potential boyfriend that do not include a bar or nightclub.

You’ll find suggestions you’ve heard before, some of that are unconventional, and others that may even be silly. But if you’re trying to break out of the bars, you may want to give them all a chance. I will add that this list is by no means exhaustive—please feel free to add ideas in the comment section at the end of this article.

You have tried everything else–so what else do you have to lose? Okay—let’s look at the list!

1. Dating Apps and Web Sites

You may be thinking that using apps and websites seems silly, but many gay men have met the guy of their dreams by using these types of platforms. Popular ones include OKCupid and Gay.

Others that are not as well known but nonetheless effective include the apps VGL Gay, Mister, and Tinder. Some of these are free while others cost a small amount (or charge a nominal fee for premium services). The great thing about apps and websites is that most all of them nowadays allow the user to input certain search criteria or filter out folks based on user preferences. You can also check Gay Outdoors.

Some report feeling “desperate” using apps and websites for dating purposes. If you are one of those people, you need to rethink this and do so quickly. According to recent research, there are 41 million people in the US who are currently looking to meet that special someone online. This statistic does not speak to the number of single gay men specifically, but we make up a fair amount of that number.

If you have tried dating using apps and sites before with no luck, consider using a different app. Scroll through your smartphone’s options and pick something new. The idea here is to create change. Remember, dating is a numbers game. You have to put yourself out there in order to make it happen.

And here is one final point on this suggestion—while Grindr, Scruff, and other apps are great tools for meeting people, keep in mind that some of these platforms are more sexually charged than others. There is nothing wrong with this but if your goal is to date, using the right app is important.

2. Facebook

Keep reading this, and don’t skim because it is important. Reflexively, some may turn their nose up at the thought of using Facebook to “mine for dates,” but here is the thing you may not know: there are tons of gay people on this social media platform. We are talking millions! There are a number of fan pages and groups on Facebook that are specifically designed for gay men who are single and relationship-ready. Type “gay single dating” into Facebook’s search box and see what comes up–lots! Remember, the people who are putting themselves out there are doing so with the same motivations that you are–to connect with someone for romance.

Did you know you can search Facebook for people on your friends list that are single? You sure can! Just punch in “single friends” or “my single friends” in the search box and see what comes up. You might be surprised. Of course, identification as single on Facebook depends on what the user indicates in their profile. But using this approach does allow you to see potential candidates. If they are an acquaintance, why not consider going out for a coffee? Later on the both of you might figure out that was your „first“ date. Again, what do you have to lose?

3. LGBQ Events and Fundraisers

As a population, we gays are very giving. Plus, many of us like to get all dolled up and go to events, like fundraisers for the different causes we support. Some examples include cancer-related events, HIV/AIDS-related causes, civil rights galas, and the list goes on. And if you are thinking that you won’t go to one of these events if it means having to go alone, please reconsider! Many gay men make the mistake of bringing a +1 to an event because they are embarrassed to be alone. The problem is that your +1 may be sending a glitchy signal to your potential next man that you are “with” someone. Get rid of the wing-man. Why confuse folks?

Several gay men have reported that they met the guy of their dreams by offering to be a “Table Captain” for a given event. In this capacity, you help to fill the table by soliciting people for donations. As captain, you have control over who is seated at your table—which is a huge advantage for you! Plus, you get to network with others who may be single and thereby expand your circle of available men.

Go to the fundraiser with the mindset of supporting the cause you care about, but be open to meeting someone new. Attitude is everything. It was the famous French philosopher Renee Descartes who said, „I think –therefore I am.“ What do you think?

4. Local Community Classes

This particular suggestion has worked well for many gay men who were formerly single. Do you like photography? What about painting, fitness, biking, aviation, cooking, horticulture, and so forth? One of the great things about about taking a class is the built-in advantage of a shared interest! Many classes are free or at little cost. You can find them by doing a Google search using your hometown or county in the search terms and seeing what pops up. Throw in the word “gay” as part of your search and refine your choices even more.

Chose a community class you are genuinely interested in and not just one where you think all of the hot men will be. We gays come in variety of shapes, ages, and sizes and we aren’t as cookie-cutter as many of the stereotypes people sometimes believe. Remember, it is only a shared interest if it is genuine.

5. Volunteer

This particular suggestion is a twofer when you think about it. First, you get the benefit of giving the gift of yourself to a cause you care about. Second, you will undoubtedly meet new people. More than a few happily partnered gay men have reported that they met their man through this approach. And so if you care about the environment for example, why not contact your local Greenpeace? If your passion is supporting your local LGBT community center, why not call them to see how they can use your gifts?

Some people worry about the time commitment required to volunteer for an organization. This is a very valid concern. It helps if you are up front about what you can and cannot do when you speak to the volunteer coordinator. Even if you can only be a greeter for an annual event or work the coat check, for example, it is something. And hey, a little bit of something is better than a whole lot of nothing.

6. Professional Organizations

Yep, you read that right! A professional organization to which you may already belong likely has a chapter dedicated for LGBT members.

The point here is that whatever you do for employment, there is likely a professional organization with a gay-focused subdivision. Almost all of them hold events, including socials, mixers, and fundraisers. If you belong to one of these associations, great—your work is half done. If not, why not look for one that fits your particular background?

Use your professional organization’s LGBT subchapter as a way of networking and expanding your circle of available, single gay men. It is completely okay to let people know you are “on the market,” so to speak. As mentioned earlier, dating is a numbers game. But if you don’t play it, you can’t win. It’s all about attitude and knowing what you want, right?

7. Local Gay-Friendly Church or Spiritual Center

Some may recoil at this suggestion, but guess what? Many partnered men have reported meeting their husband at their local gay-friendly church or spiritual center. There are a lot of gay men who are deeply spiritual—and not just the bat-crap, self-loathing types that we often hear about, either.

If you have a local place of worship or other community-based venue for spirituality and you identify with what is offered, why not give it a try? More and more, religious organizations are recognizing that LGBT folks have spiritual needs. You might be surprised at what you find when you do a quick Google search on “gay + spiritual” in your area.

If you are one of those people who are not sure what you believe in, consider taking the Belief-o-Matic self-assessment. It’s free and you will likely learn something about yourself that perhaps you did not know before. Did you know there are gay communities of Agnostics, Quakers, Pagans, Humanists, and so forth? There sure are! And there are gay atheists who congregate, as well. Take the self-assessment to see where you fit in.

Obviously, going to a local gay-friendly church or spiritual center should be about your spiritual nourishment and well-being. Think about this first before you decide which venue for spirituality is best for you. However, this does not mean you can’t also meet new people, enjoy deeply meaningful connections, and perhaps bump into your new boyfriend!

Final Thoughts

The dream that one day, you will meet the guy of your dreams is a wonderful thing to dream about. But fantasizing and doing something to make it happen are two different things.

If you want to meet your next boyfriend, then you will have to take control of the process. The Promethean spark of love only happens if there are two available people who happen to be at the right place at the right time.

Gay bars are great but let’s be real–you are over them and have been for a long time! That’s why you read this article, isn’t it? Why not try something new? Tomorrow could be a great day!