gay dating scene

Welcome to our reviews of the gay dating scene (also known as free dating website). Check out our top 10 list below and follow our links to read our full in-depth review of each online dating site, alongside which you’ll find costs and features lists, user reviews and videos to help you make the right choice.

10 Dating Tips For Gay Men (That, Really, EVERYONE Should Follow)

For the most part, gay men are like everyone else on the dating scene. They’re looking for affectionlove. Like their straight counterparts, gay men also desire connection, companionship and commitment. 

Unfortunately, the gay dating pool is viciously competitive. So, instead of fighting over the newest man meat on Grindr, I recommend these practical tips for gay men:

1. Get in the game. Sitting on the sidelines will get you nowhere. Either play the gay dating game or get out of the other gay guys‘ way! This doesn’t mean you have to play every day. The goal is for the single gay community to know you’re in circulation.

2. Try something new. Try a sparkling, new approach to gay dating. That is, if you’ve been doing the same thing and expecting a different result, then change detergents, add some fabric softener and try a new way of putting yourself out there. Going to the same coffee shop, grocery store and gym leads to the same scenery and the same results. Yawn! So instead, change it up!

3. Step out of the box. You love to run, hike and go to the theater. Great. Now what activity would be so out of the box for you, it might put you in a space to meet new guys, make friends with people who have gay friends or try a new hobby? Think of it this way: If you can step out of the closet, you can certainly step out of your rut!

4. Reflect what you desire. If you really want a guy who appreciates monogamy, then hanging out with people who have open relationships probably isn’t the best place to meet Mr. Right. From sex to finances and family to intellectual awareness, letting your true desires show up doesn’t make you weak, weird or wacky. It’s you being truly you, so let your authentic self shine. 

5. Stop making excuses. The more you make excuses for why your gay dating life is the toilet, the less chance of it shifting in a positive way. If every date you go on with a gay guy leads you to say, „He was nice, but … “ stop and ask yourself „Why are you always justifying your way out of dating?“

6. What’s sex got to do with it? Well, it depends on your position — no pun intended. Dating from the perspective of „it’s all about sex“ can pay off if that’s how you truly feel. Conversely, making sex the secondary acquisition can also be a home run. Regardless of your perspective, being honest with yourself all along is my point. When you hide from your truth, it won’t set you free. Plus, being honest with yourself is a great launching pad for honesty in your relationship. 

7. Ask yourself, „So what?“ Constantly in a tailspin with the same old audio tapes playing in your head? Do you always say: „Gay dating is such a chore,“ or, „Gay men just want sex,“ or „Every gay guy I meet only wants to talk about themselves?“ If so, start asking yourself, „So what?“

 10 Dating Tips For Gay Men (That, Really, EVERYONE Should Follow)

Dating gay

Gay dating is often thought to not be serious and imply no long-going intentions whatsoever. While for some men it can be true, for others such perspective only complicates the process of finding a partner which is not easy at all anyway. Gay dating sites and apps offer a chance to meet other gay guys, but will such relationship last? Not necessarily.

You might think that being gay you are doomed to either be a struggling lonely soul or a great flirt. We are absolutely sure: there is plenty fish in the sea for gay singles. Here at our aim is to help everyone in need of a soulmate and we believe that your chances multiply if you join or website!

Dating gay

Dating gay

Gay dating is often thought to not be serious and imply no long-going intentions whatsoever. While for some men it can be true, for others such perspective only complicates the process of finding a partner which is not easy at all anyway. Gay dating sites and apps offer a chance to meet other gay guys, but will such relationship last? Not necessarily.

You might think that being gay you are doomed to either be a struggling lonely soul or a great flirt. We are absolutely sure: there is plenty fish in the sea for gay singles. Here at our aim is to help everyone in need of a soulmate and we believe that your chances multiply if you join or website!

Dating gay

Gay Dating – Professional Men Seeking Men with EliteSingles

Sick of frivolous gay dating sites? Find lasting love with EliteSingles; our members are verified and include professional men seeking men. Join today – with loads of eligible gay singles seeking a deeper connection with us, love may just be a few clicks away!

Gay Dating – Professional Men Seeking Men with EliteSingles

Gay Senior Dating: Authentic Connections Today

Are you over 50, single and gay? Gay senior dating has its own challenges, but online websites are fast changing the face of dating today. SilverSingles, one of the leading senior gay dating sites, is created for senior singles to connect and discover companionship, love, and relationships. So, how does it work?

Dating experience of a gay Asian male

I’m new to this sub and I’m glad such subreddit like this exists.

My first post is too personal and too forward (as it is removed), so I will try with this again and hopefully it’s okay with the mods and the subreddit community.

I was born in Southeastern Asia and transplanted to U.S. before my teenage years. It was difficult dating as a gay person and being Asian makes it tougher. I understand all of you experience the same. I’m currently (unofficially) dating someone long distance. Anyway, I want to ask community members here your experience with dating throughout the years. I hope to learn from you all.

I’m 30+ and have not been dating very long except for the “release me” phase during college.

My perception of gay dating as an Asian male has been influenced by the American experience of the late 90’s and the 2000’s and 10’s. I didn’t accept myself until my senior year, when I came out to my Physics teacher, who the students suspected as being a lesbian. They were correct. Nevertheless, she introduced me to a LGBT club after school. This was in the mid-2000’s decade, so the club was quite small for a suburban school in the Northeast. Well, what I want to say is that I accepted myself and has come out to friends but not to family and parents. I’m still scared to this day. I realize the world has changed throughout the last 15 years and so much progress has been realized to include the freedom to love, marriage, adopt, serve, and work equally. As I left the dating scene for awhile, getting back to it is rough. I understand that racism plays a part to dating that affects all of us, candidates of color that include Asians. I want to sit back and hear/read your stories. If you have time to share, much is appreciated. I will continue sharing as well. I want to introduce myself to the community with my pic but I will wait till that selfie Sunday (maybe).

I’m a 42 yo viet-Canadian. I was born in France but raised in Canada. I had my first gay experience at 17 with a white guy I met at the gym (apologies ahead, I’m gonna indicate race and age bc I feel it describes my journey). I didn’t start dating until I turned 19, moved away from home for uni and fell for a gregarious white guy (18). We dated for a while but I cheated on him with someone hotter. Pretty immature but I was getting into my 20s and it took me a while to learn not to be dramatic and hurtful

After uni, I got into a 2-yr relationship with white guy ..a cop, cottage, goofy jokes.. he was 15 yrs older than me. I wasn’t in love. I was trying to mirror what my uni friends were doing .. getting into super-srs relationships. It didn’t work out bc I was in the relationship for the sake of being in a relationship

Fast forward, from 28 yo to present. I’m with another viet-Canadian – similar age and backgrounds, our families were viet boat refugees, they worked hard, made good. our families hang out together, go on vacations together

In between and during relationships, I’ve dated (I’d like to think I’m polyamorous although I question it). As a forty-something gaysian, this is how dating has changed for me. The 90s, I lionized white men; it was all I watched in porn and mainstream media.. white dudes. In the early 2000s, I was into cocaine and it was still a pretty white scene for me. Being into white guys got tough bc I found those instances where guys had strict ’no asian‘ preferences. Rejection is rough

By the mid-2000s, I started getting into rock climbing, running, working out and met a diverse group of guys. I started clicking with asian guys who hung out with other asians

At the same time and since then, I sense an increase in sexual capital for men of colour – maybe more representation in media, more diversity. Personally, I find POC insanely attractive, nothing against the white men I’ve dated/fucked but it’s just that in the past I didn’t feel that way for men of colour. Currently, I’m really happy with my dating life I’m meeting up with guys I’m attracted to and they feel the same about me

I’m from Southeast Asian and residing in Australia now. I’ve only dated Asians and is currently in a long-distance relationship like you too! We have about 10 years of age gap but I’ve been dating since about 5 years ago, and only been in 1 other ‚official‘ relationship that lasted about 2 years-ish and long distance too. It sucks to do long-distance not going to lie, but the people that I can connect with emotionally are always far away, and with globalisation it’s becoming even more normal I believe.

Non-Asians have avoided me like a plague only because of the stereotype regarding gay Asians, and whether I fit into them (feminine, twink, bottom, etc). I don’t think the stereotype it’s bad in itself, but it objectifies us a lot and reduce our whole spectrum of people into 1 identity. But, it works both ways for me as well, easier to weed out these kind of people too as I have no interest for people with those mindset.

I’m out to my friends but not my family, only because I don’t see a reason why I should for now. Being gay is part of my identity but I never made it my only identity, I have other qualities I want other people to know first than my sexual orientation. My partner thinks the same, which helps in terms of how to inform people we care about of our relationship.

My partner and I have been through some shitty, toxic relationships that traumatised us and left us feeling insecure with trust issues sometimes. But, we are so alike that it didn’t stop us from building another emotional connection with other people. We learned from our past, and that has established a better and improved version of how we approach a relationship, how we communicate, our outlook on dating, on life, and how we can best be a strong individual and even stronger together. He’s defo someone I would only find once in a lifetime, and I’m fortunate he feels the same too. We’re keeping each other around 🙂

Came to the US at 15 from Southeast Asia. First serious relationship at 19 with an Asian guy that lasted almost 6 years. Broke up. After a few months, got into another relationship for almost 9 years — another Asian guy with similar background. Bought houses, engaged, traveled, invited to all family functions from both sides, and all that Jazz. Yet – We are now going though a divorce (thanks to our domestic partnership).

It’s been a shitty journey objectively, but subjectively it’s been quite the learning and enlightening experience.

A couple insights I learned that can be specific and relevant to this community, which I can see why sometimes dating other races seems more appealing (but I understand that’s just a generalization):

some traditional Asian families/parents don’t have a good model of love, leading to people not knowing “how to love” in a modern healthy relationship (e.g. communication, trust, expectations, respect, emotional maturity, etc)

being Asian, mental health and traumas are not addressed or uncovered, leading to a damaged adulthood years later down the line that end up affecting relationships

Your insights!! Yes! I feel the same way. I’ve often wondered and thought about why (x) relationship doesn’t feel good, while (y) relationship does, and what it means for me and my partner. Growing up, I didn’t have parents that, I could say, have shown love to each other.

Relationships I saw growing up have always been tinged with resentment, bitterness, obligations… Paired that with the impossible/hard-ass expectations that came with refugee parents (i.e. lack of emotional support, validation, compliments), I realized that I had/have an unhealthy view of myself and relationships, and that’s carried over into my dating life. So now I feel like I’m picking off the „sprinkles“ that are on, what I call, the donut of my life — great on the outside, a void on the inside.

man your second insight hit hard. I’m totes into bettering myself and so I’ve had a therapist lined up for the last 10 years. I don’t blame my parents for a single thing but I feel they were def traumatized by their refugee journey. They were teenagers with a newborn on a crowded boat, starving and waiting to be saved. Growing up, I was a weird kid, my siblings were weird, my dad did messed up shit, my mom was messed, I’m still weird. So many years of counseling and I’ve been able to put that into perspective. I go through bumps in my current relationship but I’m also lucky that there’re fewer and fewer bumps

Moved to Canada from China when I was 18, now I am turning 27. I’ve gone on dates with plenty of guys of different backgrounds, Asian, White, Middle Eastern, South Asian etc. While most people I met said I was „cute and handsome“ blah blah, but my dating experience has never been good.

Many times, there were only the first dates, and we both lost interest after that. Sometimes we have a few dates, but eventually the sparks fade away.

Guys who are into me, I don’t feel the connection. Guys I really like, they don’t like me back. Maybe its my standard too high, I am too picky about certain type of guys. Maybe because of my personality, it is hard to keep the conversation and connection going. I’ve struggled a lot as a gay Asian.

Man I’ve been through this.. the whole I like them they don’t like me back. They like me and I don’t like them back. I ended up joining gay groups that enjoyed what I was interested in at the time, it’s been physical things like climbing, volleyball, snowboarding but also artsy things like writing, sketching .. I got more interested in meeting gay men and groups of gay men on a platonic level .. and if it got further and I would fuck a guy in those groups or friends of friends from those groups .. it’s kinda worked out bc we’d already had some basic connection

I’m from Texas but went to school in Los Angeles. I went on dates, but didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 29. So, this is technically stil my first.

the same for me at the first phrase, still waiting for the second thing happens to me

This is what I heard from everyone about racism sadly it should not happen in our lgbt community but it exists. I pray this thing end in us soon.

Out to my family (southeast asian refugees) since high school graduation, some of whom I don’t talk to anymore. I tell myself we still love each other but we just have different ways of showing love. I honestly don’t know…

„Date“ a girl in high school, before realizing that my wrestling coach was hot af (not really lol). He was handsome and young (30s), but I think I fell for him because he made me feel wanted and I could achieve anything. He was like a father figure (tell me your daddy issues, and I’ll tell you mine). He was white.

Got into a 2-year relationship in college. He was mixed, half white and half japanese. I tell people that we broke up because of political differences. My prince zuko didn’t want to help me to overthrow the fire lord; he only wanted a reform. But honestly, we didn’t work because he didn’t know what he want and I was shit at communicating. I never said or advocated for what I want, yet I expected people to know how to treat me right. Been single since.

24 now, and haven’t dated or fucked in a year. „trying“ to get to know myself and become less toxic. being 24 fucking sucks. whoever said 20s are the best years of your life was lying. Earlier 20s was lit. I do recognized that being young and having a good body is a privilege. I’m scared of getting old.

College was a time to work through family traumas, internalized racism/homophobia and other toxic behaviors. Still working through them but that was the start. as for dating, I didn’t realize asian men were at the bottom (and seen as bottoms), until I got on dating apps. Online dating sucks, definitely more lucks with hookups. I would say though all my intimate connections/flings were meeting people in person. I met my ex boyfriend at a school dance. It’s lot harder to meet people in person now that I am not in college. Covid is also hard, I guess. But I wasn’t really trying hard to meet other guys before that haha. I guess I need to do better.

I’m from Australia, I only dated asian guys majorly, however I don’t need to date anymore, because I’m married to my husband whose Taiwanese. He’s 31 I’m 49 and couldn’t be happier with each other,

I hope you find success in a relationship, everyone deserves to be happy

Hi Sorry to see these comments. I would like to know about your bad exp. What happened. Why do you think your date went to hell? PM me if you like.

Gay Dating Advice: Tips to Find ‘The One’

As a bisexual woman, I might not be the person you’d expect to be dishing out dating advice for gay men. However, the scarce LGBT scene of Northern England and Scotland where I grew up has taught me a thing or two about gay relationships of every orientation, and I’ve relied on my closest gay friends to compile the strongest gay dating advice for you here – in the hopes you never have to make the same mistakes we did!

Welcome to

offers a 7-day free trial and a huge database of members; that’s why they top other personals sites you’ll find. Advanced search options can help you find all those members whose profile hints he’s what you had in mind when you started looking. Match helps people get to that first meeting; other sites offer the standard video and chat but this company organizes group outings and fun too. This site is definitely a top gay dating site.

Joining , the largest site that employs questionnaires and personality profiles to match its 14 million members, has some real potential because you get to express your preferences in great detail. Chemistry is particularly good for those who want more than a hookup and are willing to describe their own personality traits for sites with algorithms to find you those men who want similar things and with whom you share interests. A site of high quality, focused on long term friendship or LTR.

Men can search OutPersonals‘ site for M4M matches. Photo profiles and all the bells and whistles you expect on the bigger, more established social networks on the web. While there are guys looking for relationships, most members of this site prefer casual or no strings attached fun. As a good dating service, OutPersonals features sexually explicit videos and photos for the members.

Join the international crowd at GayCupid, full of bisexual and hot gays, men for fun, a relationship, or look for something lasting. Contact your man by clicking the ‚Show Interest‘ tab on his profile. Relationship yearnings? Just upgrade, and guys on the site will discover your profile because it’s featured more prominently. You’ll love the video capabilities available online here, too; it includes video mail. You can reach more of the world with translation services for messages to other members.

On ManPlay, search for new, hot sex partners online by location, age, interests, physical traits and more. Browsing means you decide, not compatibility quizzes or tests. There are also free videos to find, chat, video messaging. Go slowly and develop friendship, or email and meet them fast. The site has a digital introduction service, very interesting. ManPlay is worth trying out to expand your search for hot guys, really the best dating site we’ve run across for great tech.

is a popular service, with over 30 million global members. Free to signup, the website has the AdultFriendFinder network behind it, so you’ll find men to contact who want hot XXX action with other men. They even have a ‚get laid guarantee‘ where you get free member time if things don’t click in 3 months. Explore sexual preferences and meet the guys you want.

is one of the best known dating sites for gays because of being part of the huge FriendFinder network. When you’re looking to develop casual relationships with others, this meetup site is a good choice, or if love relationships are what you had in mind it’s still a good resource because of the number of members to choose among. Recommended.

has been around longer than many of the hookup or dating sites and have a great system. Lots of ways to meet and interact online or off with other men: Flirt, instant messaging and video chat; also you have the ability to sift the member database by location, lifestyle, looks. GCruise supports full advanced site searches of online profiles. Hang out with gay men or search for men who like similar activities; when you sign up indicate your interest in vanilla one on one or varied fun.

is a site devoted to assist gay matchups; here gay men can meet and form relationships with other men. Advice offered, and personality tests, because the focus is on the long term, not the one-timer. Dating sites like OGL with resources like GLAM, their advice magazine, or any site on which men have several ways to communicate with members tend to have a steady base so it’s a good place to keep visiting. Has a good reputation for privacy and security, and we recommend it as a serious place for gay men looking for partners.

is a smaller service gay males might choose among matchmaking outfits, but relationships here are found quickly on such veteran dating spots. Relationship or casual buddy, friendship or gay love partner – all styles of getting together make up the gay dating scene served here. Gay personals, men seeking men. You’ll need to upgrade to a gold membership to get the most from the features

is one website with potential for finding relationships regardless what niche or group you happen to fall into. Members have positive things to say about this service and they have a reported high success rate. Easy to use and good range of features. Over 2 million members to search among for the traits that matter to you, and you can do advanced searches of members for age, personality traits, looks, lifestyle, activities preferred.

10 Red Flags That Gay Men Can’t Ignore on a First Date

You are getting ready to meet that handsome guy you met online or through a close friend for that all-important first date.

Feeling excited and a little nervous, you look hard in the mirror and think to yourself:

„Will he like me? What should I wear? Does my breath smell? Is my muffin-top showing?“

Seriously — going on a first date can be a bit of a challenge. This is particularly true for gay men who are new to the dating scene or have been off the market for an extended period of time.

After consulting with a number of gay men who were formerly single and now long-term partnered … plus a few therapists who specialize in couples counseling at 2nd Story Counseling in Chicago, Mister Hollywood is ready to share some gay dating tips.

What follows is a list of 10 “Red Flags” for gay men on a first date that should be thought of as potential warning signs that the guy may not be a good fit for you. Some of these red flags are obvious. Some are funny. Others are ones you may not have heard before and should not ignore. The list is by no means exhaustive.

Disclaimer: Not every point here may apply to your situation and is not set in stone. Think of these as general guidelines as opposed rigid rules.

This point may seem particularly obvious but the truth is that many gay men fall into the trap of ignoring this red flag. In gay years the phrase “long term” can often differ from straight folks. A long term relationship for a gay man can be subjective at best. As a rule of thumb, 2 years or more is a good yardstick go by, give or take.

What is important is this – he has been out of his same sex relationship. If he was in a five year relationship and is now out on the market six months after the breakup, he is very likely not going to be emotionally available or emotionally capable of a real relationship again for some time. And if he still lives with his ex and is claiming, “We still live together but are not in a relationship” or anything like that, you need to run.

Yep, this is one that should seem obvious but is ignored more than folks might think. If you are out on a real date and you are noticing that the guy you are out with is continually checking out other dudes, flirting or both – it is probably a good indication that this guy is not for you. There is an off chance that he is trying to impress you by demonstrating how he can attract other people but do you really want to deal with that?

And here is another possibility . . . he just isn’t into you. Instead of manning up and telling you that, he is flirting with other dudes. This point sucks and not something you want to hear but checking out other guys on a first date really is not a good sign for something long term.

Perhaps another obvious warning sign but worth mentioning. If he wants to meet you at a local gay bar for a first date, he probably isn’t the right guy for you. The same goes that if your official first date activity, like a coffee or a dinner, he wants to go to „the bars“ .. it should be a warning sign that this guy is not long term material.

The reason being is that the first date should be about getting to know one another. If he is already needing to go hang out at a bar on your first date, he likely is not ready to focus on you or a relationship. Some may disagree with this point. You decide.

Obviously, this is a subjective warning sign however, there are tell-tale things that you should be looking for under this red flag. One of them is the amount of alcohol he is consuming and the speed in which he is doing it. If you notice that he is pounding back glass after glass of wine (or some other drink) and that he is encouraging you to do the same – run.

Look, there is nothing wrong with a few drinks on a first date however, when it gets to the point that he needs to get bombed in order to function, he’s likely not going to be a good match for you. Same holds true if he shows up at your first date stoned. Run like hell.

A guy who is in a recovery program for drugs and/or alcohol should be applauded and supported. That however does not mean he is ready to start dating. As a general rule of thumb, people in recovery programs, like a 12-step program (AA, CMA, NA…) are encouraged to stay away from the dating scene for 1-year.

This is not a hard and fast rule but is generally encouraged. The reasons are plentiful but the primary one is that the guy needs to be focusing on his recovery. A debatable “red flag” perhaps but one that cannot be ignored.

If the guy you are with on the first date treats wait staff, box office attendants or others disrespectfully or rudely, he is showing his true colors. He is also demonstrating that he is a jerk and is likely unaware of how uncomfortable his behavior makes you feel.

If the guy you are out on a first date with is treating people like crap, how do you think he will treat you down the road?

Whenever you hear a gay man suggest that he “acts straight” or is „straight acting“ you need to be concerned.

There is a difference between being masculine and “acting” hiding who you are. And what exactly does „acting straight mean“ At its core, it’s called internalized homophobia when a gay dude says this.

There are many gay men who are masculine and their sexual orientation is not readily obvious.

With that shared, if your first date makes it a point to say he “acts straight” and goes out of his way to identify as straight to others around him, you really need to carefully consider if this person is for you.

Best Gay Dating Sites 2021 in the U.S.

Now that dating someone of the same sex is relatively normal, meeting the perfect man won’t take much time, right? Not really sweetie; you see, gay dating is a challenge on its own.

Complete List Of Best Gay Sites 2020

When searching for gay sites, it can be a little bit challenging to find the right one, but if you are willing to put in the time and effort, then you will get the best gay site available. In order to do this, you need to make sure that you find a list of gay sites that are free to join, as these will make things a lot easier on you. You may even want to consider using a search engine in order to find the best gay sites available.

You will want to make sure that you read any reviews about any gay websites that you are considering joining, so you will know if the site is going to be reputable or not. This is one of the first things that you should look at when looking to join a gay website. By doing this, you will be able to see how the site handles its members, whether they feel that they have a good experience and if they would recommend it to other people.

Best gay dating apps 2021: Sites for LGBTQ+ dating

With meeting IRL proving tricky right now, the best gay dating apps and sites can help make connecting with other LGBTQ+ singles easier.

Over the past two decades, online dating apps have revolutionalized our love and sex lives, and at no other time has that been more important than in 2021. The best gay dating apps are proving to be a great way of meeting like-minded LGBTQ+ singles during a time when face to face meetups are more challenging. 

With the days of chance encounters taking a sudden and unexpected hiatus, apps are where it’s at, but with so many options, which one is right for you? We’ve featured a few of the best online dating sites in this guide because mainstream sites like OkCupid have evolved in recent years to become more LGBTQ+ friendly. While they haven’t been specifically designed for the LGBTQ+ community, some of the bigger sites are incredibly inclusive, so they’re well worth a try.

We’ve also covered plenty of LQBTQ+ specific sites in this guide, so you’ll find gay and lesbian apps that are suitable for serious relationships or casual hook-ups. With the best gay dating sites offering so many different options and catering to all tastes and preferences if one doesn’t work for you, there are plenty of others out there to try. And if you are looking for older companions, we also have a guide to the best senior dating sites.

Reviewed for You Gay Dating Sites in the UK

It could be argued that gay people started using the Internet for dating long before the rest of us did.

As such, we’ve encountered a lot of gay dating sites. In fact, far too many to list here in a neat row. As a result, we’ve separated the wheat from the chaff and limited ourselves to the real gay and lesbian dating sites.

Simply scroll down and have a look through our reviews to see which one of these sites might help you the most. There is bound to be something for everyone here!

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If you are in search of a trustworthy dating resource to join, we strongly advise to consider as an option. This platform has more than twenty years of experience in bringing together various couples all over the world. We take into account such traits as:

Here you can come in touch with local gay guys and start dating. You might meet a perfect boyfriend who has lived around the corner for all your life but has never bumped into you in the street. But at the same time, your lover might happen to be from the other continent.

Using as a website to look for love, you are guaranteed to have personal privacy and safety. No data is required for a possible date to come in contact with you: share email address or a phone number later on, but initially there is a messaging system created specifically for our website which helps our clients communicate. And if you happen to have certain issues, our customer support team are eager to help anytime.

Advice for gay dating

First of all, let’s talk about dating in general. Even though there is an opinion that dating a guy is not at all different than dating a lady, there are some peculiarities, both personal and from the side of society, which will be good to be aware of. Let’s break it down.

Gay Dating with EliteSingles

While there are a lot of gay dating sites for men seeking men out there, not all of them cater to those guys who are seriously searching for a lasting relationship. EliteSingles is different. We believe that a long term relationship requires two people to really gel, which is why we prioritize an intelligent matchmaking process and create connections between our users that we’re confident can go the distance.

It couldn’t be easier to start dating with us; simply register with our service, take our in-depth questionnaire and start building your personal profile – you’ll be meeting like-minded gay singles in no time at all!

Once you’ve completed our personality test, you’ll then receive 3-7 partner matches daily for your review. In this way, we streamline the online dating experience so that you can focus on the singles you’re truly suited to and don’t waste time and energy on dead-end connections.

If and when you do have more time, you can always use our ‘Have you met…’ search function to seek out additional profiles. What’s more our dating agency is here to help you get the most out of our service throughout the entire process of finding love, starting with our handy guide to online dating, available with our apps or on desktop. From sending the first messages to getting ready for your first date, we here to help get your love life off the ground.

Professional Men Seeking Men

It’s not always easy to find a long-term partner on the gay dating scene, particularly if you have a clear idea of what you want in a man. Bars and clubs in the US tend to be more for fun than the future and not everyone wants to combine their social, romantic and professional lives. But there is one place where it is possible to make that long-term view a reality – and that’s online.

Many gay dating sites and apps, like Grindr, have a bit of a reputation, perfect for casual encounters and not much else, it’s difficult to know where to turn when the time has come and you’re ready to get serious about gay dating online. Enter EliteSingles. Our members are all here looking for lasting love and deeper connection, and since we use advanced technology to verify profiles, you can approach your matches knowing they’re well-intentioned singles who are genuinely compatible with you.

Catering for professional men seeking men, our membership base includes many eligible gay singles who are both mature and highly-educated. The typical EliteSingles member is aged 30-55, and a massive 85% is highly educated! Sound like you? You’re in the right place to meet a like-minded community of open online dating users!

Gay Dating in the US

In many practical ways, gay dating in the US this year is the easiest it’s ever been. All across the country, and particularly in big cities like San Francisco and Washington DC, gay men, lesbian womenLGBT singles are finding love and settling down together. Yet, easier overall doesn’t always mean easier on an individual level. If you’ve been single for a while it can be all too easy to view tales of lasting love and marriage as some sort of sign for an urban relationship myth, meant only for the very handsome, the very rich or the very lucky! Rest assured, there are plenty of men seeking men just like you out there, who long for a lasting relationship too – we can help you find them, and strike up a chat.

Do you want to meet single men with whom you are truly compatible? Then join EliteSingles today.

A significant proportion of EliteSingles US members are busy professionals and, as a result, we have a created a dating site that can suit even the tightest schedule and make the most of your time. Fully optimized for smart phones & tablets, with a handy dating app also available, EliteSingles is ideal for men seeking men on the go, on our app you can still review profiles and send messages.

Our service is likewise streamlined: our smooth matchmaking algorithm combines with a focus on customer safety and users’ support. That means that your precious free time can be spent on the fun part of online dating – the dates themselves!

We streamline our matchmaking process by getting to know the real you via our in-depth personality test. Based on the Five Factor model theory by McCrae and Costa, this test forms the backbone of the EliteSingles experience and the basis of our smart matchmaking.

This free test allows us to analyze your levels of openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness and neuroticism. We then combine these results with your relationship plans and desired location, allowing us to introduce to the kind of American men you want to meet and embark on that all important first date.

We may have many diverse singles on our dating site, but they do have one thing in common: when it comes to love, the single guys are looking for the real thing. This is why, when we suggest profiles to our users to view, we do so with long-term compatibility and, perhaps, marriage in mind.

This means that, if you’re gay, dating in the US, and ready for lasting love, EliteSingles can help you find it. We believe in bringing love to everyone who is serious about finding it and we work hard to ensure that our match suggestions are up to the task. Why not join us to today to meet yours?

Download Gay Dating Solutions’ New Mobile Apps

Without a doubt, gay dating in 2018 is an art form. If you’re a single gay man and looking for love, you know where the gay dating scene is. It’s online. But whether you’ve met 100 online dates or zero, it’s a tricky little business. There’s such a grand variety Read more…

Gay Marriage Advice: 4 Relationship Tips from The Experts

Expert advice and relationship tips on the best ways to form a tighter bond, unlock more happiness, take on tough issues, and keep your marriage solid for a long, long time. Every marriage (gay or straight) has its bumps, and they can pop up at any time. What’s important is Read more…

Gay Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person

Gay dating tips to help you find love 1: Keep things in perspective Don’t make your search for a relationship the center of your life. Concentrate on activities you enjoy, your career, health, and relationships with family and friends. When you focus on keeping yourself happy, it will keep your life Read more…

The Secret History of LGBT Dating

Original article from ATTITUDE MAGAZINE. From improved medical care for trans people, to Lloyds Bank featuring a gay marriage proposal in a recent ad campaign, for the most part, I think life as an LGBT+ Brit is the best it’s ever been. I write this as a bi woman who has Read more…

Gay Dating Basics For First-Timers

So…you want to start dating and find your one true love. That can definitely be arranged. But first, let’s start from the beginning. Let’s start by giving you a comprehensive picture of the gay dating scene. Be warned that it can be exciting and addictive. Without proper guidance, you’ll lose Read more…

Connect with Your Community: Gay, Senior Dating with SilverSingles

Getting back into dating and meeting a compatible partner can sometimes feel like a difficult undertaking. And gay senior dating does have something of a reputation for being a difficult domain to find a serious, long-term relationship. The gay dating scene, fairly or not, has been accused of frivolity at its best and ageism at its worst. So how do you go about meeting senior, gay singles who share your values and goals?

A key factor to finding the right people is finding the right community. The first step to putting yourself out there to meet singles who also want a lasting relationship is finding those singles! And that’s where SilverSingles comes in. Created for senior singles looking for authentic connections, the platform offers the opportunity to connect with real people looking for real relationships. And although meet-up groups and social networks are a great way to meet other senior gay singles, you don’t know who you will meet or what they are looking for. Enter SilverSingles, the intelligent option when hoping to meet your match on senior gay dating sites.

Senior Gay Dating Sites – Why Choose SilverSingles?

Online dating has become the modern meeting place. And as the world has been transformed by technology, dating too has gone digital. And the good news is that it isn’t solely for the younger generation – Pew Research has shown that the number of users between 55-64 years old has more than doubled since 2013. And it continues to grow. With an accessible community of senior singles looking for love, SilverSingles offers a tailored solution for over 50 dating and this quickly expanding community.

The process starts with an insightful personality test, allowing us to get an understanding of what you’re looking for and what is important to you. To eliminate time wasters and unsuitable profiles, you will then be sent new matches every day. Using smart matchmaking technology based on psychological research, we take into account your personality traits and preferences, lifestyle, location, and relationship goals. You are sent selected profiles to match your own, giving you a higher chance of compatibility and connection with other men seeking men.

Are you busy and on the go or do you prefer to enjoy senior gay dating sites with the privacy of your own computer? Flexible to your needs, SilverSingles is available in a desktop version or, if you prefer mobility in your online dating, you can choose our mature dating app, optimized for both Android and Apple. We believe gay senior dating should fit comfortably into your lifestyle and be as uncomplicated and convenient as possible for you to enjoy the experience.

Online dating safety is an issue we also take seriously. With SilverSingles you can enjoy online dating with the peace of mind that we take data privacy seriously and follow all the steps to ensure your personal details are kept safe. We do also have a dedicated Customer Care team to take care of you and verify profiles to avoid scammers and tricksters. All that there is left to do is get down to the business of meeting your match and enjoying the exciting bits – getting out there on your first date!

Taking into consideration our community, which is designed for over 50, 60, 70 and older dating, we also have some handy advice on how to make the most out of your senior gay dating websites. Should you want some confidence to get the ball rolling, learn more about online dating messages, how to make the best SilverSingles profile or how to use the dating app – we’re on hand to help you start dating again!

4 Useful and Simple Gay Senior Dating Tips

It can be easy to specify exactly want you do and don’t want in a partner while using senior gay dating sites. But you’re both taking a chance on each other so even if they don’t seem the perfect fit, you never know what relationship could develop. So take a chance and it may just be the best adventure you’ve been on! And remember you shouldn’t be afraid to say no – if you’re not comfortable in a situation, it’s your prerogative to just say no. By listening to your heart, be open to where it may lead you.

Do you believe in monogamy or is it your goal to get married? It’s helpful for you to be clear with yourself first about what kind of relationship you really want. It may not be suitable first date conversation, but when the time is right, be honest! Even if it’s tempting to try and create a more appealing picture, not being upfront creates a gap between reality and perception. And you know, if you meet the man of your dreams – you want him to see you for who you are!

A good rule in dating, as in life, is do to others as you wish them to do to you. Just because it’s online dating, doesn’t make it ok to be disrespectful. Reply to messages, even if it’s to say you’re not interested. Try to avoid using stereotypes or clichés in your communications as in truth it undermines the individual. Learn how to give and take acceptance and rejection with equal grace and respect. Good manners and respect take you far in life and online! And, most importantly, be kind and patient with yourself.

Your profile is the online version of your first impression for potential matches. Choose suitable photos as the golden rule of online gay senior dating. Choose a selection of photos that are accurate and reflect aspects of your personality. Don’t use outdated pictures, or try to hide your real age or weight, or whatever other insecurity you may have. You want a date to know who they are meeting on the first date, but you also want to put your best foot forward. Select pictures with good lighting, recently taken, and in which you’re appropriately dressed, smiling and comfortable.

Curious to see who is waiting to meet you? Join SilverSingles and meet a new man today!

The Best, Safest and Most Trusted LGBTQ+ Dating Options

The AskMen editorial team thoroughly researches & reviews the best gear, services and staples for life. AskMen may get paid if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service.

When it comes to online dating, gay men have been fortunate enough to find a space where they’re able to communicate with their dating prospects without judgment from the outside world. Sure, there are public spaces where it can be possible to meet a potential match, but even the gay clubs of today are filled with women who don’t want to be hit on by straight men, and straight guys so comfortable with their sexuality that they don’t mind the go-go dancers. Meaning, gay dating sites have been a welcome innovation.

According to a study conducted by HuffPost on the online dating behavior of 4,000 gay men, over 49 percent of users are between the ages of 25-39. Basically, if you’re a millennial, this is one of the best options for connecting with another gay man in a completely casual way. Of all the men surveyed, 79 percent stated that after using an app, they found a lasting and fulfilling relationship (whether is was a friendship, romance or friends with benefits), while 21 percent said they did not find love, only lust. You can take away that from purely a numbers perspective, men seeking men (or women seeking women!) would benefit from having an online profile.

But online dating, no matter what your sexual orientation, can be challenging. You have to wade through hundreds of filtered pictures of strangers. Then you have to make awkward small talk to see if you’ll even have common interests to talk about once you meet up … and after all that, there is still the coordinating of the first date. It can be exhausting to go through the process time after time in the hopes of finding someone who will make you want to delete your online dating profile forever.

So if you’re looking to meet a new friend (or find the perfect guy to bring home to meet mom), browse below to find a beginner’s guide to online dating as a gay man.

Know The Online Dating Market

Many guys turn online to meet other gay menonline dating sites for every taste. The members in these online dating communities may come from different gay scenes but they all have one thing in common. Whether it’s OKCupid, each guy is asked to market themselves with an online you’ve ever been on a gay online dating site, you know that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of guys all looking to connect. Online dating is all about marketing. And the most successful guys are those that know their market and the product they’re presenting—themselves.Imagine if your favorite cereal came in a white box with no graphics or explanation of what was inside. No matter how good or bad it tasted, you probably wouldn’t buy it. The same holds true for online profiles. No matter what the reputation of the site, profiles serve as a first impression and allow other men to build a story about who you are as a person (am I’m not just talking about the physical). How you present yourself on the shelf can make all the difference between snagging your dream lover or enjoying 15 minutes of fame. Here’s how you can turn around your online dating luck.

Eye Catching Headlines

Profile headlines can be a vehicle to attract the man you want, but they can also serve as the first line of defense against the man you don’t. Think of your headline as an expanded version of your marketing screen name. Use this space (usually 30-80 characters long) to describe your interests or the interests you desire in a man. Elaborate on where your screen name originates or try giving a catchy intro to who you are as a person. „Travel buff looking for someone to help pack my bags“ or „What’s my ideal date? Come find out!“ are great examples of eye-catching headlines. The first example is likely to attract a guy that’s into travel like you are while the second shows your prospect that you are open to dating.

Stats: Your Two-Dimensional Body

Most online profiles ask for your age, body type, ethnicity, eye color, hair color, and height among other things. Be as specific as possible within your comfort zone, but never lie. Have you ever ordered something from a catalog and looked nothing like the picture in the brochure?Even the romantic who digs your winning personality over your physical features will see fibbing as an issue of trust. You may not be able to grace the cover of Men’s Health, but if there is anything I’ve learned in the gay game is that someone (actually many people) will find you hot!

The Meeting Place: Safety First!

Where would you prefer to meet your partner for the first time? On most profiles, your options include your place, his place, or a public venue. You also have the option to choose „Ask me!“ or another variation which allows you to assess each situation as it presents itself. Remember, even after a long chat your new potential is still a stranger. If you decide to meet up to get to know one another better, follow these online dating safety tips.

Gay Dating Advice

Where I’m from, the LGBT community is small – real small. In fact, the entire pride parade for that small town in England was one half of a village pub beer garden for a single afternoon in July (that’s right, we couldn’t even secure a spot in June). In that setting, it’s pretty hard to imagine finding anyone, never mind The One. 

Growing up as one angsty seventh of the entire LGBT community, it was natural to believe that finding The One – that uppercase T, uppercase O, end of the line, forever and always kind of love – was just something that happened to city girls. (Yes, as a millennial teenager I got all my gay dating advice from The L Word – and that one weird season of Sex and The City where Samantha dates a woman.)

Talking over cheap cider at our local park – as is the custom for gay youth in all small northern British towns – I discovered that my gay male counterparts felt the same way: that there was no hope of finding our first gay relationships.

It’s now over a decade later, and I’m happy to report that every single one of us has found love in long-term gay relationships. So I’ve teamed up with the gay friends of my past to put our experiences to good use. Here’s our advice to anyone who’s in the same lonely boat we found ourselves in during the early 00s.

They call it pride for a reason

The first person I spoke to was Daniel*, one of the gay boys from my early teenage years. Daniel was a Polish immigrant and warehouse worker when we were 16, and while I eventually moved to London, Daniel still lives in the same northern town where we grew up.

“No one is ever going to date you if they don’t know you’re gay”, says Daniel. He says that growing up, his biggest problem was his need to hide his sexual orientation from everyone. No one outside of his closest circle of friends even knew he was gay. As you can imagine, that made it pretty hard to date other men.

Daniel also says he didn’t like being gay, and felt ashamed of his sexual orientation. “Shame is a huge turn off” he says, explaining that you’ll never find The One if you make all of your partners feel like a dirty little secret.

So, while you’re welcome to stay in the closet as long as you need, coming out – and shedding any shame you feel – will open up your dating possibilities more than anything else we can suggest here. For some gay inspo, check out these tips from LGBT icons.

You miss all the shots you don’t take

We all know the problem – you have a crush on a straight guy (or girl). It’s a dilemma that will plague every generation of confused teenagers for millennia. However, Beth* – a lesbian from Yorkshire tells me that she learned to stop treating heterosexuality as the default.

“We’ve all been in the closet – we know that not everyone who appears to be straight is straight,” says Beth. “Straight people don’t ask for someone’s orientation before asking them on a date and neither should we.”

So here’s our second piece of advice: If you fancy someone, ask them on a date! Fear of rejection will hold you back in your quest to find The One more than homosexuality will. (For a bit of hope – Beth is now married to a formerly hetero woman she met at a hen party for her best friend.)

Tinder: It’s for straight hookups and gay LTRs

The gay community and the straight community don’t necessarily play to the same rules, so we can’t go getting our gay dating advice from hetero culture. At least, that’s the gay dating advice from Kyle*, a bisexual man I went to school with in England, who is now in a long-distance gay relationship with a man in Seattle.

Take Tinder, for example – home to practically every hetero hookup in the world. This same app is used by gay men and lesbian women alike to find long-term relationships (LTRs). “The same app is used in completely different ways by gay men vs. straight men”, Kyle explains.

Gay people enjoy using dating apps and sites because it allows you to filter down to gay people only, thus avoiding all that “is he? Isn’t he?” malarkey. So if you’re wondering where to meet gay men for long term relationships, Tinder is a surprisingly reliable source.

However, if you’re a little bored of dating, and want to take a break to have some casual fun – Grindr is the app for you. ?

Don’t knock long-distance

Many gay couples begin as long-distance relationships, so don’t knock it! You might be far away from your loved one for now, but if things go well there’s nothing in the world stopping one of you from moving closer so you can be together.

When you start out as a gay long-distance relationship, you know the hardest part of keeping your flame alive is easy, so the rest of the relationship should fall into place. If you can make it work with someone you can’t see every day, or even every week, then you really do have something special. (Just think of Vita Sackville-West’s dreamy lesbian love letters to Virginia Woolf to see how romantic long-distance same-sex relationships can be.)

Don’t force it 

Sometimes, we spend so long looking for The One that we cause our own little gay mirage. You’ve got a nice guy, you’ve gone on a couple of dates, and you’re forcing yourself to imagine a spark where there isn’t one, just so you don’t have to start all over again. 

This was definitely behaviour I was guilty of in my very first gay relationship; I was so desperate for it to work out that I saw a blossoming romance where there wasn’t one. I know now that instead we should have cut the relationship off there and then, and stayed friends instead. 

That said, having gay friends is super important when it comes to finding a gay relationship, as they make the perfect wingman and will be there for you when your attempts at gay dating don’t work out.

Trying to force a relationship with someone you don’t want, or someone that doesn’t want you, will just cause some serious gay relationship problems down the line. Gay or straight, unhappy couples cheat, have poor sex lives, fight more, or just get bored of each other. Don’t let your dream of finding The One cloud your judgement.

Keep Your Gay Lifestyle Private by Dating Online

For one of several reasons, some homosexual and bisexual men will choose to keep their gay lifestyles private. It may be simply that you haven’t come out to your family; but a big driving factor for many today is concern about what effect being ‘out’ will have on your work or profession, where coworkers, bosses or clients might react negatively to your sexual lifestyle.

We have to live in a real world; there are plenty of reasons you might want to keep your gay lifestyle under your hat — and online dating is one thing that helps you be private but still have the social life you owe yourself. When you sign up you should follow safe online behavior such as choosing a username that is not your real name; do not post your email, phone or other personal info, ever, in your profile or any messages. That’s basic for anyone, out or not. And doing so keeps you private until you’ve met someone you want to meet in person.

Being Compatible in Gay Dating

A notable surge in gay dating is that towards forming long-lasting bonds rather than one-time hits with guys. Naturally there has always been a large segment of the same-sex population that leaned toward a committed relationship, but now a site that becomes popular for personals will find itself inundated with members who want a love interest that includes living together, and more. A lot of the specific issues fought about in current legislation — marriage, parenthood, partner benefits, etc. — happen to be mainstream interests that concern couples more than people who date a lot. So how does this affect gay dating? Answer: Being compatible matters more.

Sharing Common Interests

It means people are seeking compatibility with someone on a gay dating site, so those which either start out with a questionnaire to determine common interests, or make it easy to screen profiles for your interests, are getting more and more members. Dates are a little more like planned get-togethers than hot encounters on , or , or other matchmaking services. Things can go better when the two people like to do the same things, such as sports, books, theater and plays, dining out and more. Physical attraction, people are advised, is not the only issue in a good relationship.

Sharing Common Interests

It means people are seeking compatibility with someone on a gay dating site, so those which either start out with a questionnaire to determine common interests, or make it easy to screen profiles for your interests, are getting more and more members. Dates are a little more like planned get-togethers than hot encounters on , or , or other matchmaking services. Things can go better when the two people like to do the same things, such as sports, books, theater and plays, dining out and more. Physical attraction, people are advised, is not the only issue in a good relationship.

Evaluating Gay Dating Sites Features

dating sites for gay men and you are ready to start meeting single gay men so you can find that special someone. Only you have found that there are tons of sites to choose from some that are for gays only and others that offer services to everyone. Online Dating is the top way to start a romance and find lovers as well as hookup for sex flings and friendship now, so looking deeply is important. Of course, It can be time consuming and frustrating wading through the thousands of site profiles and sites and this can put you off them all together. So how do you find the best ones?

First Date Poll

If you are getting the vibe on your first date that the guy is looking to hook up or otherwise mess around, this may be a fairly good indication that he is really not interested in dating. This particular point is not to judge but instead, to act as a potential red flag for his agenda. And hey, there is nothing wrong with hooking up – but aren’t you wanting something a little more?

On your first date, it is only natural and human to talk about oneself a little. If however the guy you are going out on a date with is going on forever and a day about his life, his job, his car, his family, his dogs …his, his his …. There is likely going to be problems with compatibility.

Do his muscles, charm and smile blind you to some of the red flags mentioned here or perhaps other red flags that you have heard of in the past? Does he make you feel overly insecure because you feel he is just too good looking to be with you? Does anything about that first date make you experience negative, familiar feelings from the past where you were in a space that was not good for you? If so,

Too many get hooked on the look and find themselves in impossible, painful, one-sided and one way relationships. Pay attention to how his physical appearance causes you to feel. If you come away from that date feeling “less than” or “ugly” then you are the person who is not ready to be in a relationship.


I really dont like calling out conservative believers like that. Politics and religion are tough enough, and not all gays are liberal atheists. That swings both ways: its nearly impossible to be a conservstive believer and date someone that isnt. I get the point: conservatives dont support gay policies, but there’s so much more to me than being gay. Religion too. Most arent exactly tollerant. But that doesnt make a believer undatable. Youll have work. But thats a relationship. better phrasing would have been that your beliefs and values arent aligned.

I think a good closing to this article is to also evaluate your own behavior. Don’t be afraid to recognize your own faults. It will only make you better. Nobody is perfect. Ask yourself, are you raising any flags?

We should aspire to be a healthy, genuine and loving partner to someone. It’s not just about what you’re getting. It sounds crazy to some people but you should WANT to give your partner a relationship they want, too. 🙂

It is a good list. And red flag doesn’t always mean run. It can just be cautionary. You might want to pursue the friendship, if you are getting along well in other ways.

Actually. my main concern is that it equates „dating“ with looking for a long-term relationship. There are lots of other reasons to go out with someone, often repeatedly. I use dating to get to know people, and to sort out what kinds of friendship are possible. A primary relationship is only one of them, and it’s not very near the top of the probable list.

Of course, this is on the „Paired Life“ site. But even so, it seems a bit narrow, perhaps especially so for gay men.

Dave and i have been together for 46 years come this July 21 and the ONE thing to KEEP IN MIND ——you don;t own each other——–

I just had a three hour dinner date and the whole conversation revolved around his life, his job, his ex, his cat his family, etc., etc.. He didn’t ask a single question about me. your date asks something about you take time after answering him and ask something about him too. That’s called a polite conversation and basic respect.

These „rules“ are very general and apply to all people that should not be dated.

I agree with most of them. if they check on other guys. when they kiss you don’t look into ur eyes. they drink too much to like you for one night stand. they don’t ask you personal questions and just talk rubbish to break the silence.

This was awesome. I should go with my gut more. I have been single 12 years now and I am wondering if love is ever going to happen again for me. If it does at least I know what to look out for.

it is true some people are unable to see the sense of humor used by the author but reading the article like this it shade light to many people who seek for advise like this. Also it such a shame for some people who are always waiting to criticize others for everything they do instead of supporting and use their common sense to correct where it wrong don’t you know those who criticize others often are not perfect? (speaking for king and queens of criticism) By the way the hub is gr8t.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on July 29, 2015:

Thanks for sharing. At least you are honest about it!

I’m one of those guy that the red flag type I want to change my attitude. I want to hook up with guys or try to flirt with just to hook up with them. I read this and said some of this true. I really change

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on April 29, 2015:

One thing to pay attention to is if they ask s lot if personal questions you aren’t comfortable speaking about. And when they seem to be pushing you to go in s direction you don’t want to.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on February 05, 2015:

Here’s a good one. tell him you will not have sex until at least after the 4th date. 90 percent of the guys will not get back to you, and you know they were ONLY after the play, not even remotely interested in getting to know you.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on December 26, 2014:

Thanks, Bruce for stopping by. Sorry to hear of your relationship woes. Good point on the escorts!

My disastrous last relationship unfortunately hit nearly every point.

Rather than being blinded by looks,my downfall was deciding he was ‚the one‘ the first time we met.

After years of feeling less than and compensating for his shortcomings- I am finally working on myself. To meet the rite guy I need to be the person I would be attracted to- not the messi became.

Lastly, the comment by Pookie is a prime example of guys ’not ready to date‘. Some guys grow up and mature, yet others are in their 50s+ living day to day- hookup to hookup. If getting off is the only concern, then great for them. This keeps the escorts and users in business when that same man is lonely and horny at age 69+++.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on November 09, 2014:

Genuine page. Don’t listen to the negative comments, those guys must have been through a lot, are wounded and heart broken and still need to come to terms with the red flag signs they’d failed on noticing before. Things aren’t easy with dating, we all know that and I give them credit for that. Don’t give up though. Advice on pages like these genuinely helps.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on October 09, 2014:

well, i think i have to end our communication. it seems that he is only interested of having sex with me, based on what i read from this article. He always asked me if i am going to his house and often open up conversations about sex. poor him.. i am actually serious of loving him even if he is 25 years older than me.

I love it and so dead true. I’ve been guilty of the last one but just so I can get it on before saying bye. I have adhered to most of these but not until I reached the wise age of forty something.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on August 24, 2014:

Jean, I like your sense of humor! Yes – there is a lot of comedy in this post but some people were unable to see this. Others however picked up on it right away (like you)! Of course, behind every giggle is a little truth. Hehe

I thought that a lot of this advice is great for all couples, not only gay ones. After a quick scan of some of the comments, it appears some people don’t get your sense of humor :). It’s OK, they’re Republicans. Kidding.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on August 22, 2014:

Keven, just wanted you to know I read your response here and I think we all gained from your insight. Thanks so much and I am sorry to hear what happened in the relationship you discussed here. Truly stinks man.

Easy poll since only one correct answer. He wants to hookup too fast since he might not be flirting with other guys on purpose to get in YOUR pants so is no brainer no sex on first date this century for sure & mistake I made in past.

I’ve never had a hookup, never will but I have had sex on the first date once before which in that case ended up in a two decade long relationship. The warning signs did not happen on our first date and was not about doing it since it was love at first sight situation very unusual so not a hookup since I was faithful nearly 20 years with him, never would cheat but he got a roof over his head, cars, video game systems & everything at my expense. I was blinded by love. I loved him, he loved my money at the time.

When I got sick with a health problem no one can catch and things looked bad for a year, he dumped me for a guy 15 years younger than he is! I had been lied to, cheated on, used & even poisoned with something not going to say on here but from him putting it in my food.

Careful of those first impressions! They might be dangerously wrong but sex on first date would be out for me now that I know better even if sparks are there for potential LTR. As former model, I look a lot younger than my age so I notice guys interested in my looks not me & I need love not someone into just looks.

well i don’t think im good enough for a guy but i really want someone, i want a guy who makes me feel important, i don’t see why i can’t have a boyfriend if im not that confident, i want someone who gives me that confidence

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on August 12, 2014:

Thanks for sharing and I respect what you have shared here – truly.

Item number one should be: He wants to go on a date.

As a rule, gays do not date. We hook up and then need to look for the next best, younger, richer, more handsome man.

The gays that date are usually deplorable physically or emotionally (possibly both) and over 30. No self-respecting gay wants anyone over 30 unless they are rich and have a hot body.

I read the „disclaimer,“ but WOW. In some parts of the country, the only places you can go and not be stared at by the overly homophobic (who by the way where I live have thrown homophobic insults at me for holding the hand of my autistic son) IS a gay bar.

And that brings me to my second point: There are some of us out here with children with disabilities. And specifically with autism, my son’s „severe“ kind (though I’m loathe to use the term „severe), when I got divorced my ex wife and I had long discussions about living arrangements as my son would have his entire sense of himself in the world ruined if one of us weren’t living here.

I am living with my ex and truly not in a relationship with her. As a matter of fact, she got engaged this past week, and everyone involved gets along great, and I’m proud to say I introduced them to each other. They are great together! And he is going to make a fantastic step-dad!

But beyond that fact, this is 2014. If I were to move out, I am in the financial position where I’d be able to afford it. Because it is 2014, a LOT of people AREN’T in the financial position to up and leave who they’ve been sharing a house with for years, children or not.

I am well aware that me sharing a house with my ex as well as having a son with a disability makes me „undatable“ to most gay men: trust me, they’ve told me. What’s disappointing is that this article is telling me the same thing. What’s more disappointing is that many good men out there in the world will be told the same thing due to their life circumstances. What’s sad is that you’re bolstering that prejudice by telling them the same thing.

I am full aware that I will die single because of this fact about myself. Though, for the record, each of the three men I’ve had serious relationships all called me within a year to ask if we can get back together. I did with one, I didn’t with the other two. But if I am single for the rest of my life, that’s my duty as a parent and my love for him is greater than my own desires.

I’m just disappointed that an otherwise perfect guy (I can name three of my friends who are in the same position as me, all AMAZING, unbelievably hunky guys who are all several states away from me) like the friends I just talked about parenthetically will never be given a chance other than being a toy for someone else’s sexual desire.

I do realize there’s a „disclaimer,“ as I said, but given your emphasis on not only that but a few other things I found honestly to be ridiculous. I don’t say this to insult you (though in fairness you did insult me), I say this to inform you that not all men who love men are the same, and that’s the real tragedy of gay culture in general and this article (which ironically I find you as a writer to be contradictory in fault): the „mental shopping list“ and „car loan application“ you rail against.

I pass with flying colors all the time, until they find out I care for someone else’s happiness more than my own’s. Supposedly that’s what everyone searching for love is looking for- a selfless loving guy. Perhaps that’s the ultimate irony of not only my dating experiences but this article.

1, 2, 6, a bit of 7 and 9 make some sense… the rest are just over the top generalizations.

Yeah this list is absolute garbage I honestly don’t even know where to begin…..

Mona Sabalones Gonzalez from Philippines on January 18, 2014:

This list could also apply to men and women dating. Your flags are very red flags — crimson:)

Well Ben and Ken (maybe you’re the same person?), I think you have made my point nicely.

I don’t think it is any stretch when I observe that you hate republicans and you have systematically avoided the central question to my rebuttle. By so doing, it’s also obvious that you prefer cheap smears and name calling to reasoned debate.

This gay man thought that, as a community, we were better than that.

In the early days of the struggle for our equality, activists knew that silence equals death. They knew the way forward required that we communicate what we wanted, needed and why.

Because of Ken and Ben (twin brothers, maybe?) the struggle continues. Mark Steyn understands this…

In the march for equality, we all have a role to play! I cannot see how equality can be achieved while this community harbors such divisions. We cannot move forward while leaving Republicans behind.

Great article! Shared with some friends. I see you caught the attention of the wingers because one has appeared on your commentary board.

What a judgmental and hetero-normative screed! Have you thought that someone just wants a long-term fuck bud? Or to get laid after a relationship is actually therapeutic? Or that finding a third on your date is a rare pleasure and/or may be more revealing of the person you’re dating? Don’t offer me this monogamous/Log Cabin republican bullshit as advice!

You still failed to answer the central question to my rebuttle, „If a gay Republican is not worthy of love and acceptance and collectively the community represented in this article rejects all gay republicans, is that community worthy of love and acceptance from the gay republican or his broader community, the GOP?“

To put it in terms that you might understand, the absence of love is hate, so wasn’t the article, in some part, really about hate and the prejudices of the author to begin with?

I loved the article and thought you hit all of the important points. Yes, there are generalizations but in an article like this I would expect that. At least he put something out there for gay men and first dates and not the usual crap we see around the Internet.

I read the ignorant and hostile remark made by Herman Nilsson and just about puked. The information in point #7 needs to be read in its entirety and in CONTEXT and not cherry picked like Nilsson did. Mr. Hollywood is saying IF a guy says he is „straight acting“ and pretends or denies that he is gay, then the guy is engaging in internalized homophobia.

I did not read Mr, Hollywood said republicans or anyone else could not be loved. The way I read it at all, the author is saying the opposite, meaning that if a gay man DENIES who he and is living a complete lie, he cannot love HIMSELF. And how can a person truly love another if they don’t love themselves first. If a gay man supports rabidly anti-gay candidates, that says a lot about who they are. It’s like a black person supporting political candidates who support a „southern strategy“ or latinos supporting candidates who are anti-Hispanic.

For the record, I once dated a man just like this. It was terrible. He constantly made cracks against fellow gays, bragged how he supported like Rick Santorum and make sure he went to chic-fillet so that people would see the cup he was drinking out of. He was one of the most self-loathing gay men I have ever met.

Not sure how long the author will let the hateful post Nillson stay up because it looks like someone is trying to flame the discussion. I just wanted to be a voice here to push back against a political troll.

#6 is a valuable tip, commonly phrased as „Never date anyone who is rude to the waiter“. I dated a guy who was and never saw him again. It’s got nothing to do with how I think he might treat me down the road, but more generally a red flag about a person’s lack of compassion/empathy/decency.

I pondered whether to make this post for the last day, but it has to be said – this post describes perfectly why Republicans should hate gays.

The advice in this article is reasonable, until you get to item 7 – he says he’s straight acting, and another point is, „He identifies as a die hard republican and supports anti-gay candidates.“

Face it, gays come in all shapes, sizes, creeds, cultures and even political persuasions. In fact, gays have been out and organizing within the Republican Party for more than 35 years through the Log Cabin Republicans.

There are so many reasons why a gay would consider involving themselves in the GOP, would choose to organize in support of equality inside of the Republican Party and would strongly support a Republican Candidate – even one that you might consider to be anti-gay. For example, the „Give a Damn“ campaign contrasts gay rights with the plight of starving kids in the third world and demands that if the picture of two men kissing on the left shocks you more than a picture of starving kids on the right you need to revise your view on immorality. I would suggest expending political resources to help the starving kids on the right OVER the gay couple kissing on the left because life is precious – but wouldn’t this be a great SUBSTANTIAL discussion to have on a first date, to get to know someone?

MisterHollywood, the pen name on this post, is having none of that!

What the author is suggesting in this article is that a gay republican is somehow not worthy of his love and acceptance, and continues to counsel that that a gay republican is not worthy of your love acceptance. This of course begs the question, „If a gay Republican is not worthy of love and acceptance and collectively the community represented in this article rejects all gay republicans, is that community worthy of love and acceptance from the gay republican or his broader community, the GOP?“

I think we all deserve to be loved and accepted for who we are.

Anyone who finds it silly must see themselves somewhere in 1 to 10 – if not in all of them!

I think many could relate having dated with someone from each of these, if not numerous in one person!

Mister Hollywood you rocked it with this article and hit all of the points I have messed up on over the years. Thanks man!

I thought this was a pretty good article, except for the frequent use of the word „Run!“ There are more dignified and respectful ways of disengaging with someone. You don’t have to run. You can walk away calmly.

I just want to know who kisses someone while looking into their eyes. In my experience, people usually keep their eyes closed when kissing. Staring at each other that close would make you look cross-eyes to say the least.

I’m glad that you referenced drinking / recovery numerous times in this article. It’s hard to get to know someone if they can’t be present. I especially love the reference to bars because it shows a preoccupation with drinking.

And as a recovering alcoholic myself, I remember dating only a few months in and it was a disaster. I was still in an absolute cloud, and became utterly obsessed with the guy. In a way HE became my drug. And of course it didn’t work out and of course I was devastated.

You nailed a lot of these Mister Hottiewood. I am a recovering alcoholic with 15 years sober. I tell all of the people I sponsor that they need at least a year of sobriety before they can ever think of dating seriously again. Love your articles and just Liked you on FB.

LeNair Xavier from Brooklyn, New York on January 04, 2014:

I found a few generalizations here. Enough that maybe one of them should have been replaced with the opposite of #9.

For I’ve found myself talking a lot about myself on dates, but not by any choice of my own. We get on a topic about ourselves. To him, I seem to have an interesting backstory, then because we’re on a date, I’m tired of hearing my own voice, so I turn the question over to him to tell me about himself. But he offers NOTHING. And it’s just that. It’s not because I don’t find his backstory interesting. It’s because I never get the chance to find out. For HE doesn’t find his story interesting enough to share.

With that said, him not having enough confidence in his life experiences to share them should be a red flag to replace maybe #5. For everyone’s recovery timetable isn’t the same. For some don’t even need a year. Meanwhile, others need 5 years.

John Hollywood (author) from Hollywood, CA on January 04, 2014:

It likely is a fluke with Google algorithms. After awhile it will go away. Thanks for visiting!

Is it only me… but why does an ad for Christian Mingle pop up on this article… entitled: Gay Men: 10 Red Flags on a First Date That You Can’t Ignore. Oh if they only matched men with men.

This reminds me of any man straight or gay. I know when I went on my last date I felt sorry for the guy cause soooo many ppl put him up on a pedestal due to his looks. He lacked any humility and it made me uncomfortable. Good thing was that he realized it. So if someone is a bit big for their britches don’t discount them cause it might not be a douchiness at the core level.

Thanks Mister Hollywood for putting this out there. People may not like some of what appears but at least somebody put something out there for younger gay guys like me to work from. I’ve made many of these mistakes, like dating a guy with 3 months clean time from drugs. It was a disaster.

I agree, this article is an over-generalization of gay men as a whole, however some of these „tips“ are contradictory (e.g. he talks about himself too much; he makes you feel like you are being qualified for a car loan). Do you want your date to ask about your life or not?

Whoever believes a thing on this list is a reason not to date someone, is themselves someone I wouldn’t want to date.

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