Study Claims That Eating Too Many Chicken Nuggets Can Turn You Gay

Apparently you can’t masturbate earlier. The study quotes an ancient Chinese spiritualist, who directs: “In spring man may permit himself to ejaculate once every three days, but in summer and autumn he should limit his ejaculations to twice a month. “During the cold of winter, a man should preserve his semen and avoid ejaculation altogether. One ejaculation in winter is one hundred times more harmful than an ejaculation in the spring.” PinkNews contacted the author for comment, but perhaps understandably she has not yet responded.

If the study had said, “drinking mimosas may be tied to homosexuality” I would’ve believed it, for a second. But chicken nuggets? No. Even if it were true, I don’t think it would stop people from eating them. The risk would be worth the reward. If you’re going to come up with a study tying homosexuality to a food type at least use something believable, maybe even phallic shaped; hot dogs, popsicles, bananas. There are a lot of dick shaped options to choose from. It only gets worse:

Um- where are you getting your data from, Rita? Replace ‘high glycemic’ with ‘low carb’ and ‘imbalanced’ with ‘ultrabalanced’ and you’re onto something. You couldn’t name a more fit and diet conscious group of people on the entire planet. She clearly hasn’t seen Fire Island. Don’t place all the blame on her though; it may have something to do with the fact that she went to Albanian University. Which I’m sure is not an accredited university. Regardless, I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Telling someone to give up nuggets is forgivable. It’s not like she’s telling us when we can and can’t masturbate.

“In spring man may permit himself to ejaculate once every three days, but in summer and autumn he should limit his ejaculations to twice a month. During the cold of winter, a man should preserve his semen and avoid ejaculation altogether. One ejaculation in winter is one hundred times more harmful than an ejaculation in the spring.”

Jesus Christ, Rita. Now you’re just making stuff up. You can’t blame a lack of education for that statement either. Every third day in the spring is do-able and twice a month is asking a lot. But not cumming all winter is damn near impossible and you know it. Octagon Bob tried and it almost killed him. She did write fifty-six whole pages explaining herself so I could be wrong. I’ll have to check out the audio book before I make my final decision. Until then I’m going to continue to slug nuggets and do me.

Bloodborne fanart of the first hoonter I ever made, I commissioned someone I knew to make this one for me, DM her at u/Gay-Chicken-Nugget if you want to make a commission, all other info will be provided by them

Insta is savcycactus if you wanna check out my art ♥️

Bloodborne fanart of the first hoonter I ever made, I commissioned someone I knew to make this one for me, DM her at u/Gay-Chicken-Nugget if you want to make a commission, all other info will be provided by them

NUGG LIFE-Birthday cards-Birthday gift for her-Birthday gift-Birthday gift for him-Birthday card boyfriend-Chicken nuggets-McDonalds-Puns

 NUGG LIFE-Birthday cards-Birthday gift for her-Birthday gift-Birthday gift for him-Birthday card boyfriend-Chicken nuggets-McDonalds-Puns