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No Asians, no black people. Why do gay people tolerate blatant racism?

Most LGBT ethnic minorities say they’ve faced discrimination, and bigotry on dating sites is a throwback to the 50s. The LGBT community must address this

“I’m sexualised for my skin tone and never treated as a person,” Saif tells me. “The community is trained to accept a white, ‘masc’, muscled gay man and the rest of us are not really accepted or ‘one of their own’.” It’s not the individual he blames, but being conditioned by a community that venerates the “sexual image of a white gay man”. According to research by FS magazine, an astonishing 80% of black men, 79% of Asian men and 75% of south Asian men have experienced racism on the gay scene.

This manifests itself in numerous ways. Some are rejected because of their ethnicity; on the other hand, some are objectified because of it. On dating sites and apps, profiles abound that say “no Asians” or “no black people”, casually excluding entire ethnic groups. It’s like a “bastardised ‘No dogs, no blacks, no Irish’ signs”, as Anthony Lorenzo puts it.

“On apps like Grindr,” writes Matthew Rodriguez, “gay men brandish their racial dating preferences with all the same unapologetic bravado that straight men reserve for their favourite baseball team.”

Homi tells me he has Persian ancestry, and is “sometimes mistaken for being Greek, Italian, Spanish, etc”. Once, at a nightclub, he was relentlessly pursued by a fellow patron. Eventually, he was asked: “Where are you from?” When Homi answered India, the man was horrified. “I’m so sorry – I don’t do Indians! Indians are not my type.”

And it is not simply a western phenomenon. Luan, a Brazilian journalist, tells me his country has a “Eurocentric image of beauty” and there is a “cult of the white man, which is absurd, given more than half the population is black or brown”. Others speak of their experiences of being rejected by door staff at LGBT venues. Michel, a south Asian man, tells me of being turned away because “you don’t look gay”, and being called a “dirty Paki”. He says it has got worse since the Orlando nightclub massacre, where the gunman was Muslim.

And then there’s the other side of the equation: objectification. Malik tells about his experiences of what he describes as the near “fetishisation” of race. The rejection of people based on ethnicity is bad enough, he says, “but it can be just as gross when someone reduces you to your ethnicity, without consent, when dating/hooking up”. His Arab heritage was objectified and stereotyped by some would-be lovers, even down to presuming his sexual role.

When the Royal Vauxhall Tavern – a famed London LGBT venue – hosted a “blackface” drag act, Chardine Taylor-Stone launched the Stop Rainbow Racism campaign. The drag act featured “exaggerated neck rolling, finger snapping displays of ‘sassiness’, bad weaves” and other racial stereotypes, she says. After launching a petition against the event, she received threats of violence. “White LGBTQs who are truly against racism need to step up and take ownership of what is happening in their community,” she writes.

LGBT publications are guilty too. Historically, they’ve been dominated by white men, have neglected issues of race, and have portrayed white men as objects of beauty. Dean stopped buying mainstream gay magazines two years ago. “The only time they would write about people of colour is when they had done something homophobic,” he says. “The gay media is completely whitewashed.”

There has been positive change in recent months, one leading black gay journalist tells me, but only because of the work of ethnic minority LGBT individuals “holding magazines to account, setting up their own nights across the scene” and using social media, blogs, podcasts and boycotts to force change.

While LGBT people are much more likely than heterosexuals to suffer from mental distress, the level is even higher among ethnic minorities. Undoubtedly, racism plays a role. As Rodriguez puts it, seeing dating app profiles rejecting entire ethnic groups causes “internalised racism, decreased self-esteem and psychological distress.”

Many of the rights and freedoms that all LGBT people won were down to the struggles of black and minority ethnic people: at the Stonewall riots, for example, non-white protesters. The least that white LGBT people can do is to reciprocate and confront racism within their own ranks. Shangela, an actor, tells me that racism from the LGBT community “hurts more because it’s coming from people that I’m meant to share a kinship with”.

The far-right movements on the march across the western world are consciously trying to co-opt the LGBT rights campaign for their own agenda. Muslims are portrayed as an existential threat to gay people, particularly after Orlando. There are those who only talk about LGBT rights if it is to bash Muslims or migrants as a whole. American white nationalist websites now sell LGBT pride flags along with the Confederate flag. This week, Milo Yiannopolous – a gay attention-seeker who has become an icon of the US far right – was at the centre of a media storm because a platform to speak at his old school was withdrawn. In the Netherlands, the anti-immigrant right was led by a gay man, Pim Fortuyn, until his assassination. In France, reportedly a third of married gay couples support the far-right National Front.

The struggle against racism has, of course, to be led by people of colour who suffer the consequences – such as Black Out UK, which fights for a platform for black gay men, and Media Diversified, which campaigns for minority representation in the media. But unless white LGBT people – who the official gay scene venerates – listen to the voices of those who are sidelined, little will change.

Being oppressed yourself does not mean you are incapable of oppressing others: far from it. LGBT people have had to struggle against bigotry and oppression for generations. It is tragic that they inflict and ignore injustice in their own ranks.

No Asians, no black people. Why do gay people tolerate blatant racism?

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Lesbian and gay bars and clubs in London

Indoor drinking is not available until 17 May at the earliest; while nightclubs remain closed until 21 June at the earliest.

Many of London’s gay bars are clustered around Soho, the traditional centre of London’s LGBT+ scene. However, the range of lesbian and gay bars and clubs in London spans the city, from Vauxhall and Clapham, to gay bars in east London. All the best gay bars in London become busy on themed nights and weekends, as well as during the annual Pride in London festival.

Read more about LGBT+ London and check out things to do in London.

Real-Time Romance

I joined EME Hive for the live streaming, which I did very often. It was amusing to be able to interact with a community of people like me and I was able to be my raw self and more. I found it meaningful to invest time into EME Hive since it catered to Asians. When it comes to online dating, no one knows exactly what they want but it is a start to discovering what you want. Compared to other dating apps, EME Hive attracts users who are more cultural and/or know where they want to begin and this creates a commonality for all users on the app from the beginning. About 3 months into streaming, I met David.Read More

The best dating apps for gay users, since meeting people IRL is hellish

Most people have at least one horror story about online dating. It’s a rite of passage that single people love to hate.

But the horror stories look a little different for members of the LGBTQ community. On top of the classic awkward Hinge date anecdotes and screenshots of a corny bio seeping with secondhand embarrassment, gay singles deal with all sorts of alienating interactions. Baseless questioning of sexual history, harassment, and fetishization — most of it coming from cis straight people who shouldn’t have popped up in your feed in the first place — don’t exactly give one butterflies.

Still, dating apps have become crucial means of introduction for gay folks looking to settle down. A 2019 Stanford study and 2020 Pew Research survey found that meeting online has become the most popular way for U.S. couples to connect — especially for gay couples, of which 28% met their current partner online (versus 11% of straight couples).

But the Pew survey also dredged up those ugly experiences with harassment. This could be where options that bar heterosexual users, like HER and Grindr, come in. Their perfectly-tailored environments are so well-known in the gay community that they’re essentially in a league of their own.

That’s not to say that they’re in the queer dating app market alone. Apps like Zoe, Taimi, and Scruff exist. But their plateauing popularity can be attributed to similar complaints: too many scam profiles and too few legitimate users (ones within a reasonable distance to plan a date, anyway). Chappy was a promising app for gay men that shut down just as it was gaining serious traction.

And at the end of the day, „everyone“ apps are simply where masses of queer users are. Keeping Tinder on the back burner isn’t just a straight people thing, especially for those who live in less-populated areas where Grindr and HER have slim pickings. Plus, some mainstream apps do deserve credit for the steps they’ve taken to create a more inclusive atmosphere. Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge now offer lots of sexual orientation and gender identity options. OkCupid gets kudos for making that change years ago, as well as making social justice a core part of compatibility scoring — which kind of self-curates the type of people on the app.

If you’re LGBTQ and hate leaving your home, you’re not alone. Here are the best dating apps and sites that’ll maximize your opportunities while minimizing your human contact. Bless. (For the best dating apps specifically for lesbians, go here.)

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I love Cupid so much! I have tried other gay dating sites before now but have never felt to be at home in any of them. They either seem to be aimed at people seeking instant results, where are you are never be guaranteed of capturing someone’s attention for more than a few messages. Or they are focusing on people seeking a long-term partnership. If like myself, you occupy the middle of these extremes, it’s often difficult to find a suitable platform to rely on. But this outlet it has transformed my love life. I was able to connect with a cute guy almost immediately, the site’s algorithm ensuring we were matched according to compatibility from the outset.

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Another Night at Bars?

You are a gay man who has been single far too long. You are good looking and smart, have a great set of friends, and take care of yourself: A “real catch,” you tell your buds. But something deep inside is telling you that the way you have been going about finding a man isn’t working.

As you check yourself in the mirror before getting ready to hit the bars again, you think, “There has got to be a better way than the gay bars! I keep going week after week and no luck. Will it happen tonight? Oh crap, is that a pimple?”

Seriously, being a gay man and trying to find someone to date is a real chore. There are tons of hurdles to overcome that can make it feel like the deck is stacked against us. One major barrier can be figuring out where to meet someone. While bars can be a fun place to hang out with our friends, they are not always conducive to romantic connections. And let’s face it—as time goes on, the inability to meet a quality person can take its toll on our confidence.

After speaking with a number of formerly single gay men who are now happily partnered, I will now reveal seven places to find your next boyfriend that are not a bar.

7 Places to Find Your Next Boyfriend That Are Not a Bar

What follows are seven suggestions for places for gay men to meet a potential boyfriend that do not include a bar or nightclub.

You’ll find suggestions you’ve heard before, some of that are unconventional, and others that may even be silly. But if you’re trying to break out of the bars, you may want to give them all a chance. I will add that this list is by no means exhaustive—please feel free to add ideas in the comment section at the end of this article.

You have tried everything else–so what else do you have to lose? Okay—let’s look at the list!

1. Dating Apps and Web Sites

You may be thinking that using apps and websites seems silly, but many gay men have met the guy of their dreams by using these types of platforms. Popular ones include OKCupid and Gay.

Others that are not as well known but nonetheless effective include the apps VGL Gay, Mister, and Tinder. Some of these are free while others cost a small amount (or charge a nominal fee for premium services). The great thing about apps and websites is that most all of them nowadays allow the user to input certain search criteria or filter out folks based on user preferences. You can also check Gay Outdoors.

Some report feeling “desperate” using apps and websites for dating purposes. If you are one of those people, you need to rethink this and do so quickly. According to recent research, there are 41 million people in the US who are currently looking to meet that special someone online. This statistic does not speak to the number of single gay men specifically, but we make up a fair amount of that number.

If you have tried dating using apps and sites before with no luck, consider using a different app. Scroll through your smartphone’s options and pick something new. The idea here is to create change. Remember, dating is a numbers game. You have to put yourself out there in order to make it happen.

And here is one final point on this suggestion—while Grindr, Scruff, and other apps are great tools for meeting people, keep in mind that some of these platforms are more sexually charged than others. There is nothing wrong with this but if your goal is to date, using the right app is important.

2. Facebook

Keep reading this, and don’t skim because it is important. Reflexively, some may turn their nose up at the thought of using Facebook to “mine for dates,” but here is the thing you may not know: there are tons of gay people on this social media platform. We are talking millions! There are a number of fan pages and groups on Facebook that are specifically designed for gay men who are single and relationship-ready. Type “gay single dating” into Facebook’s search box and see what comes up–lots! Remember, the people who are putting themselves out there are doing so with the same motivations that you are–to connect with someone for romance.

Did you know you can search Facebook for people on your friends list that are single? You sure can! Just punch in “single friends” or “my single friends” in the search box and see what comes up. You might be surprised. Of course, identification as single on Facebook depends on what the user indicates in their profile. But using this approach does allow you to see potential candidates. If they are an acquaintance, why not consider going out for a coffee? Later on the both of you might figure out that was your „first“ date. Again, what do you have to lose?

3. LGBQ Events and Fundraisers

As a population, we gays are very giving. Plus, many of us like to get all dolled up and go to events, like fundraisers for the different causes we support. Some examples include cancer-related events, HIV/AIDS-related causes, civil rights galas, and the list goes on. And if you are thinking that you won’t go to one of these events if it means having to go alone, please reconsider! Many gay men make the mistake of bringing a +1 to an event because they are embarrassed to be alone. The problem is that your +1 may be sending a glitchy signal to your potential next man that you are “with” someone. Get rid of the wing-man. Why confuse folks?

Several gay men have reported that they met the guy of their dreams by offering to be a “Table Captain” for a given event. In this capacity, you help to fill the table by soliciting people for donations. As captain, you have control over who is seated at your table—which is a huge advantage for you! Plus, you get to network with others who may be single and thereby expand your circle of available men.

Go to the fundraiser with the mindset of supporting the cause you care about, but be open to meeting someone new. Attitude is everything. It was the famous French philosopher Renee Descartes who said, „I think –therefore I am.“ What do you think?

4. Local Community Classes

This particular suggestion has worked well for many gay men who were formerly single. Do you like photography? What about painting, fitness, biking, aviation, cooking, horticulture, and so forth? One of the great things about about taking a class is the built-in advantage of a shared interest! Many classes are free or at little cost. You can find them by doing a Google search using your hometown or county in the search terms and seeing what pops up. Throw in the word “gay” as part of your search and refine your choices even more.

Chose a community class you are genuinely interested in and not just one where you think all of the hot men will be. We gays come in variety of shapes, ages, and sizes and we aren’t as cookie-cutter as many of the stereotypes people sometimes believe. Remember, it is only a shared interest if it is genuine.

5. Volunteer

This particular suggestion is a twofer when you think about it. First, you get the benefit of giving the gift of yourself to a cause you care about. Second, you will undoubtedly meet new people. More than a few happily partnered gay men have reported that they met their man through this approach. And so if you care about the environment for example, why not contact your local Greenpeace? If your passion is supporting your local LGBT community center, why not call them to see how they can use your gifts?

Some people worry about the time commitment required to volunteer for an organization. This is a very valid concern. It helps if you are up front about what you can and cannot do when you speak to the volunteer coordinator. Even if you can only be a greeter for an annual event or work the coat check, for example, it is something. And hey, a little bit of something is better than a whole lot of nothing.

6. Professional Organizations

Yep, you read that right! A professional organization to which you may already belong likely has a chapter dedicated for LGBT members.

The point here is that whatever you do for employment, there is likely a professional organization with a gay-focused subdivision. Almost all of them hold events, including socials, mixers, and fundraisers. If you belong to one of these associations, great—your work is half done. If not, why not look for one that fits your particular background?

Use your professional organization’s LGBT subchapter as a way of networking and expanding your circle of available, single gay men. It is completely okay to let people know you are “on the market,” so to speak. As mentioned earlier, dating is a numbers game. But if you don’t play it, you can’t win. It’s all about attitude and knowing what you want, right?

7. Local Gay-Friendly Church or Spiritual Center

Some may recoil at this suggestion, but guess what? Many partnered men have reported meeting their husband at their local gay-friendly church or spiritual center. There are a lot of gay men who are deeply spiritual—and not just the bat-crap, self-loathing types that we often hear about, either.

If you have a local place of worship or other community-based venue for spirituality and you identify with what is offered, why not give it a try? More and more, religious organizations are recognizing that LGBT folks have spiritual needs. You might be surprised at what you find when you do a quick Google search on “gay + spiritual” in your area.

If you are one of those people who are not sure what you believe in, consider taking the Belief-o-Matic self-assessment. It’s free and you will likely learn something about yourself that perhaps you did not know before. Did you know there are gay communities of Agnostics, Quakers, Pagans, Humanists, and so forth? There sure are! And there are gay atheists who congregate, as well. Take the self-assessment to see where you fit in.

Obviously, going to a local gay-friendly church or spiritual center should be about your spiritual nourishment and well-being. Think about this first before you decide which venue for spirituality is best for you. However, this does not mean you can’t also meet new people, enjoy deeply meaningful connections, and perhaps bump into your new boyfriend!

Final Thoughts

The dream that one day, you will meet the guy of your dreams is a wonderful thing to dream about. But fantasizing and doing something to make it happen are two different things.

If you want to meet your next boyfriend, then you will have to take control of the process. The Promethean spark of love only happens if there are two available people who happen to be at the right place at the right time.

Gay bars are great but let’s be real–you are over them and have been for a long time! That’s why you read this article, isn’t it? Why not try something new? Tomorrow could be a great day!

Comments

im 29 need a white guy to be my patner for long time of piriod

im black single lady looking for nice whith guy or indian or blackwith love to spend the rest of my life going me.082 224 0719

I am retired Air Force and classic car guy. Looking to find someone to share my life with.

Being agay is not something you should be affaid of cause we are many and most especailly church but am single and searching in uganda

Hello. I’m not here to judge anyone. We’re all sinners without a doubt.

But, as a Christian I can’t move past this post without saying that the act of homosexuality is purely wrong. I don’t hate people from the LGBTQ community, but I do not support what they do, because it goes against Biblical teachings.

Unintentionally fell for my best friend. He’s [without a doubt/proven to be] 100% straight. At present I choose NOT to act on my feelings except as a best friend/metaphorical older brother and love him as such. Though Lust [just on my end] is involved, I respect his, sexuality, personal space and boundaries. Unfortunately suppressing such powerful feelings and desire on his behalf is proving way too heavy a burden . I NEED to meet someone else soon so I can finally release the waters.

I am older but no troll or pedo, I prefer young guy for actual friend who is gay to. For real friend.

I’m a gay white male. Looking for a gay male 18 to 40. White, or Hispanic. I’m 58. I love men that are younger than me. I live in Lafayette Louisiana.

I am gay i am zach i need a boyfriend and a relationship with a younger guy. emails

Just a little way up Martin St to the north east of Trafalgar Square or by the steps in Oxford Street east of Ox Circus after London Pride and top end of Kensington Park Rd at Notting Hill Carnival. Excellent pick up points for younger gay men. .

So happy I found ‚Dat247gy‘ in Google. Does anyone know something like that?

I want a boy who are loking sexy have six packs abs and a gentleman

Looking for for mate or partner to share my life with me. Been single and still a virgin

I am 63 yrs old and having difficultly in finding a gay/bisexual man in east texas. I am white, want to stay within my race and around the same age. I am average build, d&d free,non smoker. Looking for fun 3-4x a month or more.

i would like to fina a older man, as i am. to enjoy life together…nothing out of the ordinary but lot’s of affection and caring. If there someone in his 70’s or 80’s and can still be to meet that person

More suggestions such as Volunteering, Spiritual or taking a class are great ideas.

I do find the same situation with on line and aps as the bars. That tends to be just as disappointing as the bars.

I’m looking for boyfriend I am 45 years old Latino and leave by monaco Mexico

older guy for friends and if it is to be a bf , I am into younger guys.. friends can be anyone.. bf slim to avg, 18-35, bttm . looking more for compationship , might be a young guy that needs a place to stay and we go from there.. lets chat..

I’m new closet. Not looking for bf but rather sexual friend. For bedroom fun… Bf stuff not for me I like dressing up as a girl n getting !!!!!!for as long as possible. As often as possible . Thnx guys

Social media and dating sites won’t do you much good if you’re over 30. After your name and zip code the next registration question is always your age (date of birth) and then they plaster your age right below your photo. Ageism is a real problem in meeting people and I confess I’m as irrationally age prejudiced as the next guy. It’s a data point that really should not be discussed unless you’re dead set on finding a friend within 7 years of your real age. In my book, appearance is more relevant than real age. I’ve seen dudes 25 who look 65 and v 65s who look 35. My experience with churches as been mixed. Lots of people who are already coupled. Many have various “life trauma” issues or the “Let Jesus Take the Wheel” mentality of taking no responsibility for their own life. It may be worth a try, but the odds are against you. The other suggestions are better. Borrowing from another article on this topic aimed at helping straight women find quality men, that writer suggested self-improvement, business seminars proved to be a winner. She also liked high-end special interest groups (wine tasting, museum tours, boating, etc.)

Soren So from Bangkok, Krung Thep on August 12, 2019:

Hey, I’m Soren from Thailand as a gay I found it difficult to find life partner here, i wish to find one too.

I’m 27yrs Educated person, have good job. I have tan skin, 5’6″ 160lbs

I’m looking for someone special to share special things in life with.

I don’t do drug, not a host, not money boy so if you’re looking for serious relationship send me message and lets see.

I’m real and hope you’re real too. Welcome any age over 30.

Hi Guys here i am waiting for you 41y old med built loveing caring guy

Been trying dating apps. (desperate move) but what i only are got here in the philippines scammers, scammers, posers, posers,Massuers And most of all lots of choosy are looking for potential partners, but hey look at their profiles, Doesnt like chubby, not tall, not good looking. Effiminate. Good want a perfect, celebrity looking boyfies.=O… sad thing on gayworld

Oh,Iwould love to meet a sexy gay Asian male.P.S.I am a gay man.

Phuminnaris Wongsawat from Thailand on June 27, 2019:

Welll I am living at Thailand and so hard for find someone but still looking in everyday hope can get to know in someday

My name Gunni if you want to know more Please say hi to my email

cant find a boyfriend in the state of arkansas around springdale and fayetteville anymore. used to be all over the place now all the bars clubs and parks are closed. im afried to go up to a man and ask him for a date in fear of getting my face punch. what is a guy to do just to get a men now. im 59 and want any where from 45 to 55 to date and have a serious relationship. is there anyone that can help me.

Looking for a bi-sexual or gay man in this redneck town is tough! Any suggestions???

Looking for gay man that lives in mitchelles Plain portlands

I’m an older man well 47 – not that old yet and I love young studs

My problem was that I did not know how to approach them without seeming like a creepy old dude

Plus I didn’t know how to spot the younger gay man or if he was bi-curious – so I was out of confidence because I was afraid of meeting a homophobic dude and get a punch on the face if was brave enough to go talk to him.

Luckily I rolled into this video course a few weeks ago and the difference is huge – I recently I started dating a hot guy and things are going great – I wanted to share this course with you

I am looking for a nice boyfriend hows got a nice personality and a good sence of humpur and is careing and friendly and honest and good looking and down

Hi michael here iam a gay man and looking for a nice boyfriend but no luck so far can you help me look for a nice boyfriend iam 58 year old and a adult wanker

Great article! There are indeed wonderful gay men out there- it’s just time consuming trying to find them. I am a gay matchmaker and have been for 8 years- and believe me, it’s a full time job. This article is right – Facebook can be a good tool as you can see mutual friends and you can have your friend vouch for the person. This is essential- we need to be able to vouch for everyone we work with at The Echelon Scene, so we screen and meet everyone in person. BUT, ask your friend to be as unbiased as possible- and ask your friend to contemplate if you have complementing values. This is key!

I am very much interested to know you and hopefully become your friend. I have nothing much to say but i know how you feel. And i understand where you’re coming from. I hope this simple message of mine will touch your loving heart. Its really hard and difficult to find people you want to share your heart and soul these days, but who knows..

I still believe that somewhere there..someone will be our good and better partner in life.. God bless.

Thanks CBJ. It seems that the search for love knows no boundaries. I live in a small, conservative town, and no gay bars or clubs. So, I don’t have to try to avoid them. I do enjoy visiting gay clubs when I travel to larger cities, and have met some nice people and remain friends with a couple I met in a club in Atlanta several years ago. I’m a 60 year old man, searching for a partner. As I have aged, I’ve come to understand that the man I hope to meet is not a supermodel but is emotionally available, mature and kind. And, I remain optimistic that I’ll meet him. In the meantime, I try to stay healthy, active and social. My friends and my family mean so much to my happiness, and I plan to invite my partner to that group.

Many probably won’t want to hear this, but this sagely advice is still true: You can’t love someone until you can love yourself. A problem in the gay community is we often have high expectations with little room for flexibility. Curbing idealizations is key to finding sustainable partnerships.

There’s no doubt the conventionally hot, bearded, chiseled man is yummy, but these men represent a small subset of the gay community; prioritizing the Adonis (who has his own problems and insecurities, too, mind you) won’t get you into a loving relationship. The proclivity of gay men to value physical attractiveness over emotional intelligence and communication is short-sighted. Good looks WILL fade; the foundations you’ve built with someone who’s been with you through your deepest lows is what makes a relationship.

My advice is to work on yourself. Always work on yourself. Know what makes you happy and build relationships and communities based on those factors. A few of my key „rules“:

2. Be vulnerable; honesty is not synonymous with weakness.

4. Be kind and forgive yourself and those who have hurt you often.

Looking for love is hard—online and off. If you’re older and looking for someone younger, know it’s probably not going to be easy for you. If you’re a person of color who only wants to date white men, deal with your internalized racism (I’m Asian and trust me, loving other men of color is incredibly empowering). If the beginning of your dating profile reads: „Looking for [insert sex position], attractive, fit, etc…“ you’re looking for sex, not love, so be real about that because longterm relationships are not built on who tops and who bottoms.

looking for love in all the wrong places // wanting to start out in the back seat.

Hello White Beautifull Hairless Cute Virgin Teen Age under 19 Years Old Bottom guys Meet me For Love fun and Marriage

Firstly, I want to know how many people actually sign up at community colleges to „meet“ people. Not to COST MONEY!!! Should I mention how many millennials are in debt for college loans. Who the f*** has time or the money to take an arbitrary course hoping to meet „the one“.. yea, needless to say I don’t need to „try“ this scenario to know how unlikely it is.

Next….Volunteer? Have you been to the rural south? Sure I can volunteer at Walmart. Or volunteer at a local though I already work there. But these are hardly two places I’d imagine meeting a compatible match. I’ve seen these advice tips given all over the internet and I’m convinced thise that are giving them live in either New York, LA or some other multimillion populous. For guys like me, stuck in the really are only two options. ;t get me started. Or driving an hour to a gay bar since there aren’t even any of those around. And these alliance groups? Seriously? I’ve searched everywhere for a local chapter of any of these organizations and not 1 to be found anywhere near where I live. And I sure your next suggestion will be to relocate, and while that may be the best ;s still frustratingly inconvenient and to mention the risk and time wasted if it all goes to shit. Why is it that only gay men that live in places like NY or LA seem to have such wonderful lives? Are the rest of us just suppose to deal with it or join you? All in ;s a shit deal, high risk with very low reward, constant solitude and perpetual stereotypes….I’d rather have Cancer quite personally.

Thanks for knowing this but I wish to know exact religious place.

I am mature, Italian, tan, gray bottom but versatile looking for a fit masculine top who is versatile but likes to take charge. I enjoy men with nice size packages – not small ones. I host on the southshore mid suffolk county, Long Island. Locals preferred. All ages who are fit & masculine are good.

The last relationship i was in lasted 9 years but there were signs day one he brought items from his last marriage and told me he could not get ride of them wedding picture i still stayed faithful until he sleeping with my best friend and i did not find out until he had died from aids and i never touch my partner and got tested my test came back neg. I was hurt i am ok but still single do not want my nexts partner to be controling or hurt me i have faith

Well, this is a helpful article … I’m still single and I really can’t tell if these venues for meeting guys really work … but I do hope I find the right one.

Think more of the problem is gay culture itself. Finding men that are men that know what they want out of life takes time. Shallow is the thing that runs rampant in the culture and it just gets old. Main thing, you have to be true to yourself and what you seek and stay away from all the unnecessary drama and bull. In bigger cities, these are options, where I live, things to do or clubs to join are pretty much non-existent. Just have to remain positive and realize you don’t need someone in your life to be happy…although it is nice to have someone to share things with.

I am a married man who is craving for a fwb only i am bi

A little about me I currently live in sunny Arizona. Love it here yes it’s hot but our winters are beautiful. I’m blk 145 slim and trim I’ll be 52 next month look 36 get carded often. I’m totall into movies I can binge watch movies all day. I go to as many Festivals here in the valley as much as I can. I write poetry script writing I love the Art galleries here in the valley. And also quite times at the house, I’m not looking to have sex with anyone I want a Relationship no one nightstands here. If your living in the valley hit me up.

Lookingfor lovefun loving serious like 18 to 30 im 70 love to kiss and cyddle

The problem that I have is often on dating sites there are a lot of effeminate men and not men’s men.

am so bi been for a long love to be with the right guy…

Hi I’ve looking for someones who s care me and love

I need a guy whom Is serious . I will love him as a husband and treasure him. Please anyone there?

available during business hours only. east city. prefer to be a bottom, but flexible. (really)

not lookin for something to serious wright now but what ever happens should stay with you and me.

I like boys and around cleveland,ohio im 19 years old im gay and proud

very hard to meet decent loyal real down to earth guys in a bar i hate the bar scene where do you go to meet others they say try a church or a group or some kind of acrivity groups

Looking for a steady partner. I am loyal and want to be in a relationship. Please

I begin think I,ve tried them all so far seems the game playing makes one wonder about men to ,or are they just over grown boys

older single in Washington state , looking for relationship

I hate going now to bars there use to be good quality guys there but not any more.I use to meet good quality men at a straight gym . I find the gay community in the gay village are real snobby „if you are not a typical gay activists or look a certain way they want nothing to do with you.

I’m 18 live near London, England and want a nice loyal bf with great personality

I am trying to find my true love its a gay life I guess..

I would like to just talk to you and I hope you can help I have been looking for someone with a good persanoite I can’t seem too find any one

65 years looking for tops men sny age but preferred around my age

I’d like clarify something in regard what dating websites generally dont and is because places like OLCupid, albeit free and with many men options, by being free anybody can use it, couples looking for a third for fun or love, bored men browsing and looking to find, simply guys looking for and because of there’s a lack of „quality men“ we found ourselves going on dates that don’t workout (if they don’t flake on you the very day of the date…)

For those of you who are SERIOUS and commited to find a partner, you need to chose more discretionary websites that usually comes with membership costs (they vary based on different factors but all aimed to pair you with the right candidates). No one who pays money (even top money) for dating online services unless seriously invested and a great gatekeeper for bored couples or gossipy flakey men.

Got the same problem can’t find some one to have fun with surly it can’t be that hard

I am looking for cars & to love me want I am I want to love good man I don’t car want age you are.

Hello age 27 am looking for a nice guy to date with please help me am single, from Southern Africa Zambia. Someone who is mature and good to me

Perhaps I’m single because of my personality. I’ve been told that I am peculiar and quirky. I wish I were somewhat average sometimes. Deep down there I am still that shy and lonely guy who dreams about a little home for me and a man to protect me and love me. Nonetheless, I try to remain strong and confident. Well, that’s life. Life is a mess. Life is a bitch, but this doesn’t mean you have to be one. I’m not.

Hi..I think the problem is all this social media hype and a radical overuse of technology. Most people dont really want to be labelled or have to fit into defined groups in order to meet other people. My advice and i have never been alone for more than two or three months in all my 65 years is go out, or as my mother used to say, join clubs. Nothing changes only that the powers that me want to control us better for their own nefarious purposes.

Im looking for someone i could share the hardship and joy of life. Someone with whom i could take pride in each of our victories and put my backs and tears behind each of our struggles. Someone who would see the virtue of a knight instead of madman. Someone with whom i could strive for greatness. The one who would forgive my trespasses for i too am still learning to love. Someone who does not give up on words and promises but are willing to go through pain and wrong while building something and perhaps the only thing that really matters. Is out there another madman another man of chivalry? Or have all days of glory passed in favor of cheap hedonism?

David from 4 months ago…14 years is a long time. I’ve been in a relationship for 30 ;s also a long time. I’m not sure monogamy is the answer either. I think we need variety. There is no easy answer, unless you meet your soul mate.

Happy new year 2017 hope we can share love and life

Ku Bar – Leicester Square

A post shared by KU GROUP (@kubarlondon) on Oct 10, 2020 at 3:31pm PDT

One of the largest gay bars in London and only a few footsteps from Leicester Square, Ku Bar is spread over two floors and has a capacity of more than 500. Enjoy its exclusive champagne bar, The Klub, in the basement on select nights.

Comptons

One of oldest gay bars in London, Comptons is affectionately nicknamed „The Old Dame“ of Old Compton Street. The relaxed, pubby drinking spot attracts beer-drinking bears and live sports fans, and the atmosphere usually ramps up with DJ sets on selected Fridays and Saturdays. The friendly ambience at Comptons of Soho means anyone is welcome.

Royal Vauxhall Tavern

A post shared by Royal Vauxhall Tavern (@rvtofficial) on Aug 18, 2020 at 12:30pm PDT

Head down to south London’s oldest surviving gay venue and enjoy regular club nights and unique events, including quirky bingo and drag shows in a vibrant atmosphere. The Royal Vauxhall Tavern is housed in a Grade-II listed building, the first to be listed in recognition of its importance to the LGBT+ community.

She Soho

Discover She Soho, primarily a ladies bar (although gentlemen are welcome with female guests). A standalone bar for the lesbian community, with fresh decor and an indoor garden, this is a great place during the week to hang out with girlfriends. As the weekend approaches, expect comedy, cabaret and burlesque acts, live music and DJs.

Dalston Superstore

A cafe by day, club by night, Dalston Superstore is a vibrant and trendy hub for gay and straight party people in east London, and usually one of the area’s best clubbing hotspots. Fuel up with vegan comfort from midday during the weekend or 5pm Tuesdays to Thursdays and take your pick from the extensive cocktail list.

Bar Soho

A post shared by James M Fabbri (@jamesmfabbri) on Mar 19, 2018 at 1:54pm PDT

Dark and seductive, this eclectic townhouse-style bar and dancing venue features everything from seats styled in the form of baths, to a bar adorned with old books within it’s two floors – it’s certainly one of the quirkiest gay bars in Soho. You’ll find a host of classic and unusual cocktails at Bar Soho alongside wines, beers and drinks offers.

Heaven

With three floors, an impressive sound system and light shows in the main room, Heaven is an iconic London nightclub for people who really want to party. Cheap student nights usually run throughout the week with the flagship G-A-Y nights taking up residency on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays with drag acts and live music events.

Although it cannot currently operate as a nightclub due to the latest government regulations for coronavirus, Heaven has been transformed into the UK’s largest LGBT+ bar since reopening after lockdown.

Freedom Bar

A post shared by Freedom Bar Soho (@freedombarsoho) on Aug 26, 2020 at 2:31am PDT

Freedom Bar is a sophisticated gay bar and club located in central Soho. The downstairs club has more than 200 mirrorballs and two dance poles on the dance floor, perfect for an atmospheric party and the regular live events. For a more low-key evening, relax upstairs in the trendy bar with a glass of champagne or a cocktail from the extensive drinks menu.

Circa

Circa is one of the livelier gay bars in Soho with regular DJ sets pumping out commercial dance tunes. Although primarily frequented by a young crowd, anything goes at Circa, so sit back on one of the comfy sofas and look out for the eye candy.

Rupert Street Bar

A post shared by Rupert Street Bar (@rupert_street_bar) on May 31, 2015 at 12:29pm PDT

This chic Soho gay bar is a relaxed hangout by day that fills out in the evening as the regular after-work crowd arrives for drinks offers and DJ sets. Complete with subtle lighting and elegant furnishings Rupert Street Bar, located just off bustling Brewer Street, is ideal for unwinding and meeting new people.

The Duke of Wellington

This spacious two-storey Soho gay bar has the feel of a traditional British pub with a friendly atmosphere, offering a busy downstairs bar and a quieter upstairs seating area. Head to „The Welly“ for live sport with great atmosphere, a quiz or bingo night, or simply a relaxing drink. Come summer, you’ll usually find the streets around The Duke of Wellington packed with regulars.

Village

Soho’s first gay bar remains one of its most popular due to its relaxed vibe, glitzy decor and happy hour drinks specials. Keep an eye out for regular events and live performances at the Village, which sits in the centre of Soho’s LGBT+ scene, on the corner of Wardour Street and Old Compton Street.

The Two Brewers

Enjoy some of London’s best drag and LGBT+ cabaret acts at this renowned Clapham bar The Two Brewers. You can usually join in the karaoke or salsa nights, test your knowledge at quiz nights and rehydrate with great value drinks.

Admiral Duncan

Situated in Soho, the lively Admiral Duncan is an iconic place to enjoy a drink and larger-than-life entertainment. One of the oldest and most famous gay pubs in London, named after an admiral who defeated the Dutch fleet at the Battle of Camperdown in 1797, the pub hosts popular music nights every Saturday, and on selected weeknights. Temporarily closed due to the coronavirus pandemic

Fire

A post shared by Fire London (@firelondon) on Jan 31, 2018 at 6:21am PST

Set beneath a railway arch in Vauxhall, south London, industrial-style nightclub Fire comes complete with multiple rooms and an outdoor bar, hosting some of the biggest and best gay nights in London. With a sound system that will rattle your bones, a laser light show and some of the capital’s top DJs, nights here never fail to disappoint. Temporarily closed due to the coronavirus pandemic

Retro Bar

Head down to one of gay London’s secret gems and enjoy a small mixed indie bar with plenty of vibrant personality. Set aside in a little alleyway near Charing Cross, the Retro Bar’s music is eclectic, and the decor features photos of many iconic rock and pop figures. Look out for 80s tunes and quiz nights for something a little different. Temporarily closed due to the coronavirus pandemic

The Kings Arms

A well renowned bear bar, Soho’s The Kings Arms shows live sport and usually hosts karaoke nights as well as live DJ sets at weekends. The emphasis at this gay bar in London is very much on beer, with a good choice of real ales on tap. Temporarily closed due to the coronavirus pandemic

Happy Partners

EME Hive is a successful platform for creating happy, passionate, and fulfilling relationships. Thanks to EME Hive’s high matching ratio among the Asian population in North America, 145,562 individuals have found partners through our site so far. EME Hive is different from other online dating websites and services. By successfully matching couples with mutual backgrounds and interests, we’ve solidified our position as the number one Premium Asian Dating site.

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UK youngest single men (ages 18 to 35) are far more likely than older ones (ages 39 to 50) to be looking for UK dating sites – 64% vs. 36%.

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How to Meet Gay Men?

There are often bars or nightclubs exclusively aimed at a single-sex clientele. The difficulty with meeting guys in these circumstances is that you can never be sure of anyone’s true intentions until you get to know them better. That’s where Internet dating can provide such a useful service. After you have completed the registration process and signed up for a site like Cupid, you can spend some time getting to know the other site users.

Where to Meet Gay Guys?

You can meet gay guys in a variety of offline outlets. When you are trying to make an impression, it’s important to be as friendly as possible, developing a rapport before you get as far as arranging dates. During these conversations, it would be worthwhile to suss out someone else’s aspirations. Are they keen on casual encounters, or are they perhaps looking for something a little more long-term and meaningful? If your feelings are reciprocated you’re in for a good time!

How to Find Gay Guys?

By far the best outlet for finding gay guys in your neighborhood isn’t by hanging around in any social situations, but entrusting the online environment. Once you have signed up to a website like Cupid, you will find it very easy to connect with potential partners. All the gay singles who have already committed to this site have done soon because they are keen to meet someone for a proper relationship. You’ll meet fabulous local hunks here.

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4) Guests who arrive more than 15 minutes late for an event may be refused entry; this depends on the event/ venue.

5) Urban Connections or its associates and hosts shall not be liable for any damages arising from participation in an Urban Connections event. This includes damages arising out of any contact with anyone participating in an Urban Connections event. Such damages to include, but not limited to, physical injury, bodily harm, any Covid19 related symptoms or mental distress. Urban Connections events are held at venues over which Urban Connections and its associates have no control. Therefore by registering for an event you agree that Urban Connections and its associates have no liability should you suffer any loss or injury or illness to yourself or your personal items whilst on those premises.

6) Urban Connections and its associates and hosts reserve the right to refuse admission to an event, or indeed to eject from an event, anyone it considers not in a fit state to participate due to over intoxication from alcohol or other substances, inappropriate or abusive behavior.

7) Guests who receive no friend or date or both matches after attending a PAID event (and who have fully participated by selecting other guests on their form and who have not arrived late or left early) can attend our following event free of charge. This free place cannot be transferred to any other event or date; it is valid only for the event following the one which they attended.

8) Any guest who books a discounted student place must show a valid student NUS card which has not expired. Failure to do so will result in the guest having to pay the full price (the difference) in cash at the event. There will be no refund. University/ college staff IDs will not be accepted as a student ID

9) Urban Connections is not a dating agency and we do not background check any of our attendees so, if guests meet up after our event, we advise them to use the same caution as meeting any other stranger.

9) Some venues may not provide full, or limited, access for our disabled guests. Please contact us in advance of the event to ensure that we can take appropriate steps to allow you to enjoy the event, or, if the venue is limited in the adjustments that can be made, we will offer to help you attend another event at a more suitable venue.

10) You agree that you are responsible for keeping your login and password for your account secret. You acknowledge that we are not responsible for third party access to your account that results from sharing your login or other account details or personal information by you or the theft or misappropriation of your user name and password. For any complaints please contact us, details above.

11) We take data protection very seriously and will not share your details with any other parties. Your first name and email address will only be sent to other guests with whom you have matched at an event. We may also send you a monthly email with invites, which you can unsubscribe from instantly.

12) We will ensure we follow government guidelines re. Covid19 restrictions. By taking part in an Urban Connections event, guests accept it is their responsibility to use face coverings/ hand sanitiser and maintain social distancing and shall not hold Urban Connections or its associates or hosts responsible for any illness which may occur after attending any Urban Connections event. You accept your responsibility for your own health.

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You will not find any areas on this web site that require payment. The service is free. I will from time to time allow discrete advertising to help cover my costs but that is it. All advertisers will be vetted prior to the adverts appearing. Anyone who links to an outside source will be banned! That is how much i care about the integrity of this place.

Thank you for your support and i wish you well in your adventure. I am sure you know all the do’s and don’ts after all we are all adults. Have fun but above all Play safe!

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