Die Folge ersten StaffelXandir hat sein Comingout und verliert seine Videospiel-Freundin, während Ling-Ling unter Spanky in der Turnschuhproduktion schwitzen muss.
[„Mit Hilfe von Schwulentests und einer Schwulenfeier bringen die Hausbewohner Xandir dazu, zu seiner Homosexualität zu stehen. Spanky nutzt derweil Ling-Ling als billige Arbeitskraft aus. Ling-Ling soll billige Turnschuhimitate nähen, welche Spanky an die NBA zu verkaufen gedenkt.“
Die nächste Folge ist Requiem for a Reality Show (mit dem Wettbewerb um Essen).
„I’m on a never-ending quest to save my girlfriend!“ ~
„I am Xandir and I’m on a never-ending quest to save my boyfriend.“ ~
He is one of the eight housemates who are the focus of the show. Xandir is labeled as a totally gay video game platformer. He is voiced by Jack Plotnick.
Role on the show[edit | edit source]
Captain Hero after winning $50 in ‚The Other Cousin‘
Of all the housemates, Captain Hero is the one who has seen the most character development over the series. In the first season, Hero was a simple character with a fairly minor role on the show; he was introduced in the first episode as simply „another person in the house“, and as Jess Harnell puts it, his personality was that of an „overgrown frat guy“ whose libido was his main source of humor, as was his over-exaggerated masculinity. Over time, however, he has grown considerably more complex; consequently, his role has expanded exponentially to the point where now he is now the most frequently used character on the show. „The Other Cousin“ was the first episode to focus on Hero (although the first episode to give him any focus was Requiem for a Reality Show) but it was the second season episode „Little Orphan Hero“ that proved to be a major turning point for the character. In the episode, Hero, after suffering a nervous breakdown, meets his parents for the first time and sees many long-dormant emotional issues rise to the surface. Subsequent episodes would expand on these developments, developing Hero into a less masculine and more sensitive and emotional character (complete with a noticeably higher voice than he had in the first season). By the time of „A Very Special Drawn Together Afterschool Special“, it seems perfectly natural for Hero, as Xandir’s mother, to be cast in the role of the sensitive and caring (if overly emotional) nurturer, despite this however Hero’s behaviour also got more negative as the series went on, becoming an increasingly violent, unstable and immature character, demonstrated in episodes such as Super NannyThe Lemon-AIDS WalkFreaks & GreeksN.R.A.y RAY and Nipple Ring-Ring Goes to Foster Care. His heterosexuality (one of Hero’s primary character traits in his initial appearances) also began to fade away, though Captain Hero makes fun of Xandir for his sexuality, in later episodes of the show, he competes in homosexuality with kissing various male characters on the show (such as making out with a waiter while on a date with Clara in Spelling Applebee’s, implying by this point in the series, he prefers men over women) and furthermore, in multiple episodes, Xandir comes off as more masculine when stacked up against Hero, despite being A parody of gay stereotypes and thus being prone to sensitivity and overemotional moments.
Background[edit | edit source]
Xandir represents the nerdy game- and adventure-loving person of the reality shows. He is primarily based on The Legend of Zelda) in video games, most notably in role-playing games. Xandir’s costume is also a further reference to video games that feature characters wearing clothing which is either too complicated or too revealing to be much protection. His sword is extremely phallic, with two flesh-colored knobs on the hilt and a matching scabbard. He appears to be a reasonably capable warrior when circumstances require it. This has not stopped him from dying many times over the course of the show, but he does not seem to consider this a liability since he has multiple extra lives to fall back on.
His full name is Xandir P. Wifflebottom. Xandir’s last name and middle name initial „P“ are revealed during a phone call with his girlfriend in „Gay Bash“, though it is never indicated what the P stands for. His parents‘ home resembles a Hobbit-hole, suggesting parody of some contemporary fantasy elements outside video games. Xandir and his parents have pointed ears like Hylians and other elf-like races but their species has not been clearly established.
His special video game move is the „reach-around“, which he demonstrates to a bewildered ScorpionMortal Kombat, who responds only with the phrase, „Oy vey“. He has numerous extra lives, and is constantly earning more; whenever he dies in the show, he usually respawns immediately (the main exceptions being cases where the story requires otherwise, such as many of the main characters dying simultaneously).
In „Gay Bash“, when he is trying to commit suicide, he stabs himself 49 times, respawning immediately after each death; however, he is talked out of the act before exhausting his last life. Xandir is left-handed (possibly another subtle reference to Link, who is also left-handed). His catchphrases are a very effeminate „Oh my God oh my God oh my God!“, which he utters while frantically running around in circles and „Oh, f**k me,“ in response to foreseeing himself being dragged into something phenomenally bad.
Unlike the other housemates, whose religions have either been confirmed or strongly hinted at, Xandir’s religion is not known. He mentions Jesus in „A Tale of Two Cows“ („Jesus probably loves you“), implying ChristianFoxxy VS the Board of Education“, he has a Christian wedding despite the fact that his marriage partner, Spanky Ham, is a Muslim; however, the Christian wedding might have been chosen because it would be the type most familiar to the show’s audience. In the episode „Wooldoor Sockbat’s Giggle-Wiggle Funny Tickle Non-Traditional Progressive Multicultural Roundtable!“, Wooldoor calls Xandir a „snerd-nurgling Jew“; however, as the line is part of a running gag in which characters make outrageous statements while meaning something entirely different, this information cannot be considered canon either. Additionally, in „Gay Bash,“ Xandir is shown to be uncircumcised, making it unlikely he is Jewish. (However, the DVD version of „Captain Girl“ shows Xandir to be circumcised.) In „Lost in Parking Space, Part TwoMoses leading the Jews out of the desert „to the world’s everlasting regret“, again suggesting non-Jewish beliefs. To date, no other references have been made regarding Xandir’s religion, making it impossible to pin down or even make a reasonable guess.
In Drawn Together Babies, it was revealed that when Xandir was a baby, he was a very masculine and openly heterosexual baby. He liked manly things like race cars and the only thing he liked that was in any way related to girls, was girls themselves because he loved dating them. He mentioned how he usually gave slutty cheerleaders „The Shocker“ which was apparently a way he fingered them. Also, he lashed out at Spanky Ham for doing a bad job as posing for Charlotte the Babysitter and said „Let a man handle this.“ Later in the episode, something contradictory with the episode „Gay Bash“ happened where Xandir was kissed by Chad’s Rebellious Brother Chase and the kiss was so loving and beautiful, it turned him gay. It’s possible that he started denying these homosexual urges afterwards and kept them contained and it wasn’t until far in the future where he officially became gay. However, it’s possible that this entire episode was a non-canonical gag overall.
Sexuality[edit | edit source]
At the beginning of the series, Xandir is dating a woman whom he has apparently known for a long time. After he comes outthe closet in „Gay Bash“, his girlfriend breaks up with him in a verbally abusive manner despite being in a very perilous position with presumably no one else to rescue her. Xandir tries to commit suicide, but finds a new purpose in life when he falls in love with a gay genie in a magic lamp (a parody of Robin Williams’s character in AladdinboyfriendFoxxy VS the Board of Education“, where he is one of the guests at Xandir’s marriage of convenience, implying that he and Xandir are no longer an item; however, by this point, Xandir has come fully to terms with his sexuality. Indeed, in the very next episode, while he is advising Toot on how to lose weight, Xandir inserts his sword down his throat, much like a sword swallower would. He then notes that he no longer has much of a gag reflex, alluding to his being accustomed to performing Captain Girl“, when Toot uses a black light to look for semen, Xandir’s entire body is glowing. In „Xandir and Tim, Sitting in a Tree“, Xandir states directly that he has had a lot of gay sex since coming out.
Xandir has had a number of love interests over the course of the show, in addition to his girlfriend and the genie. The two who are mentioned most frequently are men named Craig and Fernando. Craig is a man with whom Xandir had an extremely active sexual relationship, but which ultimately ended because Craig would not come out of the closet. Craig serves as the basis for a running gag on the show; often, after Xandir has made a point of some sort, the scene will cut to him in the confessional saying, „Right, Craig?“, or something to that effect. Craig has never appeared on the show in person. Fernando is a Hispanic man for whom Xandir seems to have had strong feelings but was unable to convince to settle down. In „Foxxy VS the Board of Education“, he remarks, „Oh Fernando, some day I will tame your wild ways.“ Xandir often reminisces about various times he and Fernando have had together, usually with a bittersweet air. Fernando’s only appearance on the show comes via a confessional segment in „Wooldoor Sockbat’s Giggle-Wiggle Funny Tickle Non-Traditional Progressive Multicultural Roundtable!“.
Girlfriend aside, he is one of the only housemates who has not been implied to be bisexual, being fully and joyfully gay since his emergence from the closet. (He did once have semi-consensual sex with housemate Toot Braunstein or as he put it, „tossed (her) a mercy f**k“, but it was clear he didn’t enjoy it). He shares a room with Captain Hero, with whom he shares a friendship and many pseudo-sexual discussions—and sometimes more. It is implied that Xandir and Captain Hero have romantic feelings for each other, but Hero’s refusal to acknowledge his bisexuality and possible homosexuality, as well as his often abusive treatment of Xandir prevents them from having an actual relationship. Xandir implies that he has a very strained relationship with his father in „Terms of Endearment“; he eventually comes out to his parents in „A Very Special Drawn Together Afterschool Special“, though they indicate that it was already very obvious to them since after he told them they just say „Uh, duuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh!“ .
Many of his sexual interests border on the perverse, as he is an aficionado of glory holingBDSMrole-playinggerbilling. In the first episode, „Hot Tub“, we see that both of his nipples are pierced. In „Dirty Pranking No. 2“, he wears mascara which stains his face as he cries and in Season Two, he is shown to wear nail polish. In „Ghostesses in the Slot Machine“, he wears makeup, lipstick and a pink bikini while performing a male strip show in an attempt to seduce The King (who believes Xandir is a woman). The uncensored DVD version of „Captain Girlpenis is long, veined, bent and kinked in various places. Some believe it was meant to look like it suffered from over use of penis pump. It also is pierced through the head as an ampallang with a massive horizontal bull ring.
The idea that Xandir possesses the ability to become pregnant is a running gag on the show. In the episode „Gay Bash“, when he locks himself in the bathroom and takes another gay test, Foxxy Love corrects him, telling Xandir that there’s only a pregnancy test in the bathroom. Xandir grumpily replies with, „Oh, great. Now I’ve got two problems.“ The joke is repeated in „Unrestrainable Trainable“; when Hero tells Xandir that he always pulls out, Xandir warns him that’s not a foolproof method for preventing pregnancy, upon which the scene cuts to Xandir in the confessional breastfeeding a baby and saying, „Right, Craig?“.
Personality and traits[edit | edit source]
Xandir is one of the two most innocent housemates on the show with the other being Wooldoor Sockbat. Xandir is a very sensitive, overemotional, and somewhat sexually confused teenager. He is determined to save his boyfriends and „girlfriend“ from Lord Slashstab and at the same time have fun on the show. He hates being made fun of for being gay. At first, Xandir was shy at coming out of the closet and felt embarrassed about being gay but when he had a BJ with Elmer at the gay bash, he was determined to live out his life as a homosexual. He very often gets nervous about things, especially when he is about to tell secrets about himself like when he was going to tell his parents that he was gay and needed help from the other housemates so he would expect what was coming. He cries very often when hurt. He has a lot of positivity. He is sometimes self-deprecating. Out of all the housemates, Xandir is the most subjugated to Captain Hero’s deranged antics, despite this however he appears to be most closest to Hero.
Role on the show[edit | edit source]
Xandir shows the housemates the tea cozy he knitted.
Xandir largely serves as a vehicle to make fun of nerdy and homo types. In addition to the sexual jokes made at his expense (almost all of which come from either Captain HeroSpanky Ham), it is also revealed that he enjoys knitting, sewing, reading romance novels, basket weaving, and attending ice shows. He also subscribes to the magazines CosmopolitanDude’z Health, Xandir comforts Princess Clara and says that she’ll always be a real princess to him after she realizes that she isn’t a real princess. This is particularly benevolent behavior given her frequent displays of contempt for his homosexuality. Of all the housemates, Xandir has shown himself to be the one most willing to go to great lengths to help the others, as exemplified by his marrying Spanky Ham in „Foxxy vs. the Board of Education“ so the latter could have health insurance, his having semi-consensual sex with Toot in „A Tale of Two Cows“ (even though the idea repulsed him) just to keep her feelings from being hurt, and agreeing to take part in Captain Hero’s various asinine schemes, even though many of them result in Xandir being severely injured and sometimes killed (despite all this, he appears to be a close friend to Hero).
Spanky, an internet character, is suddenly downloaded with a virus one day. He goes to a doctor for assistance, but the doctor won’t give him the life-saving medication because Spanky doesn’t have health insurance. Xandir, trying to console Spanky, points out that if he were in the questing business like himself, he would have great health insurance which would even cover his wife and kids. Spanky immediately realizes that if he „gay marries“ Xandir, he would automatically get the insurance he needs. Xandir has some doubts, but after Spanky takes him to an ice show and romantically proposes to him there, Xandir agrees, and the pair are promptly married. Clara, believing that „If gays get married, the institution of marriage will be destroyed! Societies will crumble! Rivers will run with blood! Nazis will once again ride dinosaurs!“, vows to put a stop to Spanky’s scam. To this end, she summons the King of Insurance to have the pair busted. Once the King shows up, Clara challenges Spanky to prove he is gay by having gay sex with Xandir. Spanky is unable to do this, and the King cancels Spanky’s health coverage. Spanky responds by making a passionate, if somewhat strange, speech, which moves the King to grant Spanky health insurance for life. Seeing the newfound respect Spanky and Xandir have for each other, Clara decides that perhaps she was wrong, and one gay marriage isn’t going to destroy the world. At this point, the house- and presumably the entire world- is promptly besieged by Nazis riding dinosaurs.
Meanwhile, the police discover that Foxxy Love has been solving crimes without a license, and consequentially refuse to arrest the criminals she captures. Foxxy decides to try to finish college to get the license, but has a difficult time with the SAT, discovering the test to be racially-biased. After realizing that Ling-Ling, being Asian, excels at standardized tests, Foxxy convinces him to take the test for her. Unfortunately, the test administrator realizes immediately that Ling-Ling, despite his disguise, is not a black woman. Ling-Ling is caught and made an offer: fail the test for Foxxy, or have a goon come over and walk around the house without taking off his shoes. Ling-Ling fails the test, so Foxxy decides to solve the mystery of why black kids do so poorly on the SAT.
When she tries to snoop around, Foxxy is caught by the Board of Education, an anthropomorphicSchoolhouse Rock!. He explains that since there is no money in education, educators have conspired with manufacturers of bling to keep black kids from getting an education so they will continue to waste money on frivolities like spinner rims and car mounted DVD players. He tries to eliminate Foxxy by trapping her in a cave with a hideous monster, but Ling-Ling, wanting to atone for letting her down before, shows up to save Foxxy from it (unfortunately getting killed in the process). With help from Ling-Ling’s ghost, Foxxy is able to uncover the Board’s new secret weapon — grape-flavored mentholated pencils which would tempt black kids to eat them and distract their attention from their exams — and turn the Board of Education over to the police, who re-license her to solve crimes.
„Board Of Education,“ as sung by the Board of Education to Foxxy while explaining his plan to keep black people dumb. Another song, „Fire the Load“, a synth pop song filled with double entendres relating to anal sex, plays during the ice show and again over the end credits.
Paraphilias[edit | edit source]
In a strictly sexual sense, Hero embodies pansexuality; he has been shown to be sexually aroused by such a wide variety of paraphilias that his sexuality cannot be classified by any narrow scope.
In the pilot episode, he is aroused upon seeing Princess Clara and Foxxy Love make out in the hot tub, indicating either heterosexualitybisexuality. In that same episode, under the impression that the house grants wishes (after he wishes for a „hot black chick,“ the African-American Foxxy Love coincidentally enters), Hero wishes for „a 12-year-old girl and a donkey,“ indications that Hero is both a pedophile and a zoophile. Later in that episode, he indicates that her being dead would not stop him from fondling a woman, suggesting he is open to necrophilia. In the first season episode „Gay Bash“, it is revealed that he had a one-night stand with Bizarro Captain Hero, his evil twinparallel universe, whom he subsequently murders to keep the affair a secret. In „The Other Cousin“, Captain Hero participates in an all-male game of spin the bottle, then makes a bet that he can seduce Clara’s mentally retarded (female) cousin—which he does.
In the second season premiere, he proclaims of Strawberry Sweetcake (a guest character who looks like an eight-year-old), „Here’s to the teeniest ass you can tap without setting off an AMBER Alert.“ In the same episode, he can be seen having sex with a giraffe during an orgy. In the episode „Lost in Parking Space, Part One“, he also simulates sex with an imaginary Boy Scout, further indicating that he is a pedophile. In the Season Two episode „Captain Hero’s Marriage Pact“, he expresses glee over the prospect of marathon sex with Unusually Flexible Girl, a rare Season Two nod to Hero’s heterosexual side. In that same episode, Wooldoor, not understanding an innuendo Hero made toward UFG, asks him, „Are you gonna sleep with her or take a poopy?“ Hero replies, „If all goes well… both.“, and in the episode „Captain Girl“ where he is shown underneath a glass coffee table, as Wooldoor defecates on top of it, indicates he is into coprophilia as well. Also Hero’s sexual arousement of Strawberry Sweetcake may indicate a Lolita Complex (due to her being 18 years old, opposed to her appearance).
Another second season episode, „Little Orphan Hero“, gives great insight into Hero’s wide range of paraphilias. Early in the episode, Hero builds a robot to use for sex, programs it to feel pain, Later, he renders Xandir unconscious with a rapes his unconscious body, which Hero believes erases people’s memories (a parody of Superman’s kiss erasing Lois Lane’s memory in the film Superman II). Later in the same episode, Hero chloroforms his own parents and commits incest by raping their unconscious bodies, Hero also attempts to rape Foxxy after she fell unconscious from radiation poisoning, caused by Hero’s X-Ray vision. This episode also indicates that Hero indulges in transvestism, as he dresses in heavy makeup, a halter top, cutoff skirt, and high heeled sandals in order to attend a keg party (where he himself is gang-raped). In the episode „Unrestrainable Trainable“ he commits incest with his sister, passionatley kissing her and sleeping with her the sex is unseen but is heard in the interior of her uterus which has semen flowing through it and forming a mentally retarded baby. In the episode „N.R.A.y RAY“, he states that he is dating Bambi’s dead mother, further implying necrophilia and zoophilia.
In the episode „Super Nanny“, the eponymous Super Nanny notes the presence of wadded up tissues and a book of crime scene photos under Hero’s bed—another nod to necrophilia. In „The One Wherein There Is a Big Twist, Part II“, he takes several pictures of Foxxy Love tied up and covered in honey and some tissues, calling them „evidence“ and taking them to the Hero Cave.
In the episode „A Tale of Two Cows“, Hero states that he has taken a shine to Wooldoor’s friend Live Action Cow, stating that he has „always dreamed of meeting a woman with six penises“, further suggesting that he is indeed a zoophile (and possibly a homosexual). Hero has shown on some occasions to be sexually aroused by inanimate objects indicating Objectophillia, Hero has also been implied to be a Urolagniac (sexual arousement of urine).
In addition to his paraphilias, Hero is also an aficionado of BDSM and derives great pleasure from being physically punished. Despite his personal aggressiveness, he tends to take the submissive role in sexual relationships. Captain Hero’s rampant desire for sex also means he is not above lying to get it; in „Lost in Parking Space, Part One“, he is depicted having sex with a woman after convincing her that the fin rot he caught from Aquaman had cleared up (when it hadn’t). In the creator commentary for the episode, Jess Harnell and the show’s creators suggest that Hero simply seeks sexual gratification regardless of the means by which and with whom (or with what) he attains it. They also suggest that his preference is toward anything as long as it’s helpless.
Orientation and romantic interests[edit | edit source]
As far as emotional relationships and actual romantic attachment go (as opposed to his encounters of a purely sexual nature), however, Hero’s gender preferences are considerably more complicated. In the show’s first season, a running gag involved dropping references to Hero possibly being a bisexual or closeted homosexual in severe denial. When the show’s creators began developing Captain Hero’s character in Season Two, they used the history of gay references to form an actual character arc for Hero, wherein he is either a bisexual or a homosexual in severe denial. The main focus of Hero’s closeted sexuality is fellow housemate Xandir, whom he both mocks and seems to be good friends with. He has been shown bathing with Xandir, and once even complimented Xandir on his penis. In the episode „Unrestrainable Trainable“ he walks around the house wearing only his pajama shirt, while Xandir wears the bottoms.
Despite (or perhaps because of) his possible homosexuality, Hero is extremely homophobic, and desperate not to be thought of as gay himself. Hero suffers from a self-induced form of multiple personality disorder as a result of this inner conflict, creating separate personalities as an outlet for the parts of himself he does not want to acknowledge. The most notable instance of this, featured as the main plotline in „Xandir and Tim, Sitting in a Tree“, is his alter ego Tim Tommerson, who expresses Hero’s pent-up homosexual urges, particularly for Xandir (however it is emplied that this may have been delibrate and Hero was just curious as to wether he was homosexual or not). This „gay version“ of Hero is hyper-feminine, speaking in a falsetto voice and assuming the bottom role in the relationship. After having sex with Xandir, Hero rebels against his own alternate personality, severing his own finger and beating himself, then finally ordering his Tim persona to leave. Tim convinces Xandir to shoot Captain Hero, claiming that to do so will metaphorically kill off his homophobic side and allow the real person, Tim, to take over. However, Tim ends up being the one who gets shot. Hero claims that Tim’s death proves Hero isn’t gay after all, indicating that Hero intends to remain in denial about his true sexuality. However, in the season 2 finale, Tim is discovered to be potentially a seperate character from Hero as he comes out onto the stage independently and makes out with Captian Hero, shocking Xandir. However, this could be a tongue in cheek wind up as the characters often refer to knowing they are cartoons and that elements of their life can be altered- in theory it is possible Hero spoke with the producers about drawing in Tim to wind up Xandir. Even if it is an once-off joke, Hero still makes out with Tim, adding another questionning article to his sexuality.
In „Wooldoor Sockbat’s Giggle-Wiggle Funny Tickle Non-Traditional Progressive Multicultural Roundtable!“, Hero forms a friendship with a character parodying the Terminator, though it becomes quickly apparent that something more is going on between them. Even as their relationship grows more and more to resemble a gay male romance, Hero states proudly several times that they are indeed heterosexual, and makes continual references how much he loves vaginas, serving as further evidence of his denial. At the end of the episode, they kiss.
Hero at times has shown romantic affection for women. In „The Other Cousin“, he develops real feelings for Clara’s cousin Spelling Applebee’s“, he develops a crush on Princess Clara herself. In both cases, his feelings are portrayed as being emotional in nature rather than sexual, showing he is capable of emotional relationships with both men and women. However, Hero continues to display a confused and conflicted sexual attitude; in the aforementioned „Spelling Applebee’s“, while he is on a date with Clara, Hero proceeds to make out with a male waiter, and is unable to understand why Clara is upset by this. All in all, it is best presumed that Hero is merely a bisexual, but is more interested in men.
To further underscore either his homophobia or possible homosexuality (and emphasize his masculinity), the emblem on his chest looks like the male gender symbol; curiously enough, his sister’s costume also has the same symbol, possibly because she has a more masculine appearance than the rest of the female cast.
Sexual History[edit | edit source]
Of all the members of the Drawn Together cast, Captain Hero has got to be fairly tied with Foxxy Love for being the most sexually active of all of them. Captain Hero has slept with every single member of the house and is always horny and ready to do it with anyone. Although he does show some hesitance to do it with Toot on a number of occasions.
In the episode „Hot Tub“, Captain Hero supposedly had a three-way with Clara and Foxxy, during their make out session in the hot tub, according to a lyric in the song „Black Chick’s Tongue“. Captain Hero later mentioned in a conversation with Xandir that he fondles the breasts of the women he saves the lives of, wether he actually manages to save their lives or not. He doesn’t mention actually having sex with them, though. Later, Clara threw a Mexican themed party, and basically recreated the first day exactly how it went last time, implying that Captain Hero had another three way with her and Foxxy.
In the episode „Gay Bash“ Captain Hero was briefly seen having sex with a fat chick. Later in the episode, an awkward confrontation at Xandir’s coming out party, led to the revelation that Captain Hero had gay sex with his villainous counterpart, Bizzaro Captain Hero. This was back when Captain Hero was still a heterosexual jock, so he was very ashamed of this and killed Bizzaro Captain Hero.
In the episode „Requiem for a Reality Show“ Captain Hero and Foxxy became boyfriend and girlfriend and they got really kinky with each other. Doing all sort of anatomically impossible, BSDM related sex activities, which included her burning his chest with a welding wand, smacking his facial skin off with a golf club, smashing his penis with a model of the Eiffel tower, using a cheese grater to grate his genitals, and all sorts of other weird things. They eventually broke up, but Captain Hero later got into another kinky relationship with Natasha Fatale, which involved her walking him around in public like a dog on a leash.
In the episode „The Other Cousin“ Captain Hero had sex with Clara’s mentally retarded cousin, Bleh.
In the episode „The One Wherein There Is a Big Twist, Part II“, Captain Hero joined the rest of the cast, excluding Toot and including Strawberry Sweetcake in a giant pile of sex.
In the episode „Captain Hero’s Marriage Pact“, Captain Hero had sex with Unusually Flexible Girl. It was also mentioned that they were together for a long time back in college, meaning that this must have not been their first time. It was also implied that he and Wooldoor diddled her corpse at the end of the episode.
In the episode „A Tale of Two Cows“, Captain Hero’s crazy pansexuality had begun as it was strongly implied that he diddled the corpse of Live Action Cow.
In the episode „Xandir and Tim, Sitting in a Tree“, Captain Hero had anal sex with Xandir, while in character as his alter-ego Tim Tommerson. In The Drawn Together Clip Show, it was shown that Captain Hero and Tim Tommerson were two different people, which directly contradicted this episode, which means that Captain Hero didn’t have sex with Xandir. This can’t be considered canon though, and even if we do look at it through the viewpoint that Hero and Tim and different people, in , while Xandir was having anal with Tim, Captain Hero was seen looking out the window, thinking about this bad feeling he had in his gut, while he was naked and his face kept getting pressed against the window. He was later seen in the confessional, having to sit on a cushion. This must mean that either way, Captain Hero got fucked up the ass by Xandir.
In the episode A Very Special Drawn Together Afterschool Special, Captain Hero, while in character as Xandir’s father, had sex with Toot, while in character as Xandir’s mother.
In the episode Freaks & Greeks, although it wasn’t seen or mentioned, it’s possible that Captain Hero had sex with Georgina Georgopolis, believing her to be a goat. One of the plans on his list of things to do was to „Make sex with the goat“ and if everything went according to plan, then he must have done exactly that.
In the episode Unrestrainable Trainable, Captain Hero mentioned that when he has sex he always pulls out, and due to him being a superhero, the girls he does this with always get launched into the air and never survive the thousand foot drop back to earth, just as a college aged cheerleader dropped through the ceiling of the house. At the end of the episode, he had sex with his sister, Captain She-Ro, and impregnated with a retard child.
In the episode Mexican’t Buy Me Love, while in character as a nerdy school kid, Captain Hero fisted Clara, who was in character as a high school cheerleader, up the ass.
In the episode Lost in Parking Space, Part One, he had sex with Wooldoor.
In the episode Lost in Parking Space, Part Two, Wooldoor mentioned that he and Captain Hero had sex with a fat chick at a sorority mixer.
In the episode Drawn Together Babies, he had sex with Charlotte the Babysitter’s dead body.
In the episode Toot Goes Bollywood, it was implied that Captain Hero had a sexual history with a cow.
In the American Idol Parody Clip Show, Captain Hero molested a kid on stage.
In The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie!, Captain Hero had a girlfriend named Molly who he had sex with multiple times. There was also a scene where he briefly got into a huge pile of sex with all of the other members of the house, except for Clara for the sake of being disgusting.
R The Bill “The Hun” Schmeling Collection
Long before smartphones provided immediate access to porn and the ubiquitous „dick pic,“ gay men were limited to physique magazines, adult bookstores, and covert illustrations produced by Bill Schmeling (also known as „The Hun“) and his more popular contemporary, Tom of Finland, to view hardcore expressions of gay male desire—all of which were taboo 50 years ago, if not against the law.
Today, the work of Schmeling—once obtainable only in discreet, plain-wrapped packaging via mail order—is available for in-person, public viewing at the Leather Archives & Museum (LA&M) in Chicago, which acquired the collection in the summer of 2019.
According to LA&M’s executive director Gary Wasdin, Schmeling’s work, with its depictions of fearless, sex-positive acts, will educate and titillate viewers as it first did in the 1960s, perhaps even more so today in an age marked by factory-style porn where live streaming platforms means everyone is his/her/their own adult content studio.
„Intense is probably the word that comes to most peoples‘ minds when they see Bill’s art,“ Wasdin says. „People see these images and instantly think of Tom of Finland because his work is so iconic. Bill’s work is in that general style of exaggerated hypermasculine art, but it is more raw, aggressive, and much more sexual, with depictions of kink play, BDSM, and lots of bodily fluids.“
Beyond Schmeling’s portrayal of „dangerous“ fantasies featuring „tormented“ men in brutal and often compromising situations—a trademark of the Hun’s style—was his penchant for drawing interracial sex scenes, an element that made his work all the more innovative, especially for the time. In fact, Schmeling was white and his husband, Roland, an inspiration for a solid portion of his work, was African American.
„I think it’s just amazing to see art like the Hun’s and realize that people were pretty fucking creative, and despite the challenges of the time, people were doing some amazing stuff and enjoying life,“ Wasdin says. „These artists and photographers are pioneers who put themselves out there to make this material accessible for all of us.“
„The Bill ‚The Hun‘ Schmeling Collection“ encompasses tens of thousands of items, from personal correspondence to sketches to original artwork. „Archives generally measure collections by feet, not by item,“ Wasdin says when pressed for a more specific number to describe the scope of the collection. „The Hun collection is probably 200 linear feet, packed mostly in bankers‘ boxes, and then of course, the art is stored separately from that.“
In August 2018, Wasdin began the delicate process of discussing the acquisition of the collection from Schmeling, who at the time was storing it rather indiscriminately, from attic to basement, in his two-story house in Portland, Oregon. It took about a year of conversations with the 81-year-old artist before he granted the release of his life’s work to the LA&M.
„We came to an agreement to have his full collection come here—meaning Bill didn’t want to parcel out pieces here or there—and from a researcher’s standpoint that is something we’re always anxious to do,“ Wasdin says. Schmeling’s donation included not only the entirety of his collection of illustrations and comics, but also the ability to use his images and to sell merchandise. (And, yes, there is a gift shop on-site where attendees may purchase anthologies of his work, comic books, and greeting cards).
In July 2019, Wasdin, his archivist, and a LA&M board member traveled to Schmeling’s home to pack up the collection and prepare it for shipping to Chicago. „When Bill first met me he said, ‚You have really small feet!‘ As you see in the comics, the Hun had quite a fetish for feet,“ explains Wasdin with a good-natured laugh. „The whole experience was phenomenal. He was so warm and friendly.“ Schmeling—who suffered from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease—passed away on September 12, 2019.
Visitors to the LA&M, from the casual viewer to the academic researcher, are granted access to the collection as long as prior notice is given to the museum. „This collection is approachable from a lot of different angles,“ Wasdin says. „It could be of interest to someone studying the history of gay pornography to someone researching the evolution of BDSM and kink and its growing acceptance in the U.S., to someone writing a novel set in gay New York City 1972—the options are boundless.“ Low-resolution photography for not-for-profit purposes is permitted, as is posting on social media, although some of the Hun’s imagery may not meet the terms and conditions established by various platforms.
„A lot of people, quite frankly, see some of Hun’s artwork and they’re like, ‚Nope, that’s too extreme,‘ Wasdin says. „It’s not for everybody, but that’s part of the beauty of it—things are not supposed to [appeal] to everyone. I will say that for me, personally, I always liked the Hun because it is more like me: I’m big, I’m hairy, and that’s what the Hun was, that’s what his characters looked like. It’s almost inconceivable to think of a pre-Internet world where it was almost impossible to find people like you, where you couldn’t simply Google ‚hairy, naked dad-bods.‘
Tags: Art FeatureBill Schmelingthe HunLeather Archives & MuseumTom of FinlanderoticGary Wasdinhomoerotic