How Do I Know if My Crush is Gay?

One of the hardest things is figuring out if the person that you like, likes you back. Here a teen wants to know how to tell if his crush could feel the same way.

Here’s the short answer from another teen: „It’s impossible to know for sure without actually asking him. It sucks, but that’s how it works.“

This is both a really common and a really complicated situation. It can be really hard to tell if someone is flirting or just being friendly and kidding around.

This is particularly true for GLBT teens who typically have same-sex friends who they don’t have any feelings for.

There is also the question of whether this guy is even interested in other guys. He very well might be, but then again, that might not be on his radar at all. So like the advice above, I am going to reiterate, that if you aren’t sure what is going on the only way to find out is to ask or to have someone (like a friend you really trust) ask for you.

But as you probably realize, doing this can be risky! This guy might not respond the way you are hoping. He could become hostile or even homophobic and he could tell other people that you like him. If you aren’t out, telling him how you feel out you in a way you aren’t ready for.

But it could also work out really well. He very well might be flirting and feeling the same way as you are, and you would have never known without having a conversation.

Ultimately, there is no secret trick or hidden sign indicating whether or not someone is into you. It is really up to you to figure out whether now is the time that you want to dive into this kind of situation or whether you would feel better holding off.

Link was my first gay crush

The first guy video game character crush i had after realising i was bi is Garrus Vakarian from mass effect

His voice is like a choir of angels, oh man. Gimme that reach and flexibility.

My list is currently- pre-fall raziel from legacy of kain, solid snake, big boss in MGS3, Dante from DmC: devil May cry.

He’s such a gorgeous man, isn’t he? Honestly, I’m so excited for Breath of the Wild 2.

It’s funny, because he was also the reason I found out and finally accepted I was gay! Though I did so much later in my life than most people. But still, it’s a great feeling when the pieces click together and you suddenly understand yourself.

He’s never really been my type, but this drawing is definitely more my style.

In smash bros, Ganandorf had a huge bulge. I used to use the mode where you could take pictures and zoom in.

Very much yes…. I got my cartilage pierced and one of the reasons why I liked the idea is because Link has his cartilage pierced.

I remember there was this cartoon called “drawn together” and since link is usually drawn androgynous to make immersion easy for both men and women, there was a link parody named Xandir who was a gay femboy, as a joke.

Little did they know link was going to be the destroyer of many a guys heterosexualities in BOTW.

Link is a Mary Sue for the gays and I won’t take it back.

Trying to decipher the meaning of this. Like, I know what a Mary Sue is, but what are you trying to say?

I remembered as a kid I had a weird fixation towards Link. I liked something about him but never knew why.

Now I know. Holy shit is he hot and cute. He’s r/TheHeroOfTwinks

Mine as well, though, I’m a bigger fan of his actual design, he’s so slender and cute.

To be fair, Link’s always been that way, they’ve just animated it better, and this time he’s not wearing Chainmail like normal.

Link was my first gay crush

Finding out if my crush is gay

I am a middle aged man living in western Europe. I have a crush on a female colleague who recently joined the company where I am working, but in a different department from me.

Today by random chance I saw some information suggesting that this woman might be gay.

Usually I don’t care if my colleagues are gay or not, but obviously given that I have a crush on this woman I do care. And though we work in an environment where being gay is nothing to be ashamed of, it still would feel inappropriate to me (and uncomfortable) to ask her about it.

Is there a good way for me to handle this situation? Is there some way to phrase the question in a not too direct fashion so as not to stir up any trouble?

Finding out if my crush is gay

Cutting myself?

„What?“ Said Faith with a confuses. Look on her face.

I just say there, heart pounding so heavily it was as if it were a drum beat going on and on. The let it soak in for a bit as if they though it were a joke, until I said nothing and they knew it was the real deal.

After that Kyle came back, and a few minutes after that the bell rung. I was so happy I got that over with.. When I went to first period it was just the same as always.

One it got to third period I told Meghan about how I talked to my „crush“ last night, she didn’t know I was gay and I wasn’t ready for the WHOLE world to now yet. So I isn’t tell her, but, all through that period she keep bugging me about it.. I told her „your gonna have to find out on your own..“

After that we had lunch, I just stayed on my phone mostly still in shock they knew, I never told anyone that and wasn’t quite sure if I wanted it to be this way, the way they knew. I didn’t even tell my bestfriend back in my hometown I knew since the 1st grade. They kept telling me to get off my phone saying I’m turning into the „next Grace“ I said I would and I did, I jut made small talk that day though…

30 minutes later the bell rung, I always walk with Taylor and Grace to my next period, I saw Brandon walking back to his class, I tried not to notice him, but he noticed me…

He nodded at me like one of those so called „cool guys“ I nodded back and nudged Taylor and whispered to Grace ad Taylor saying „that’s him, that’s him!“ They both looked once he turned around.

Gracethat he was in one of her classes. I was okay with that… Kinda.. The rest of the day went on normaly. So did the rest of the two days, just helped Sarah with Luke an what not. When sixth period came the next day, I told Vivian I had a crush on someone. She wanted to know really badly and she wasn’t going to stop asking about him, I don’t know why I just didn’t want to tell her. But at the end of the period I told her. She was okay with it, I think she knew him, he might have been in her P.E. Class or something.

The weekend finally came! I was so excited to just stay home and do nothing… That weekend Cory was going to storage to drop something’s off. He wanted us to go and SAID he told US to wake up early and go wth him. He said he was very disappointed that we didn’t. He never told us anything. And I don’t understand why he couldn’t wake US up. I was glad he didn’t though. When he called no me said this is the last month for internet, I didn’t think he would do it, but, I still got mad. That same night Sarah needed more help with Luke. I though they were going to brake up and so did she. Anyways I helped her like always. The next day she texted some saying they broke up. I honestly was really surprised, they were together for about two years. We talked till about 10 at night about it then I said I got to go to bed.

The next day after school I was told by Jasmine that some guy in my class ran away. I didn’t really believe her, but my other friend told me the same thing. So I looked it up on the internet and sure enough it was true. His name was Ethan. He was about my height, Mabye a little shorter. Red hair that was like a Mohawk to the middle and some facial hair. He was nothing special really, just like any of us average kids.

„GUYS! Did you hear?! Some guy in my class ran away!“ I texted them in the group chat.

„Yeah, Jake I found you a guy, he ran away but he’ll turn up!“ Taylor said.

I took offense to that for some reason. I like guys. Not ALL guys, but guys. He want really my type, and he wasn’t really hot, well, at least not in my eyes. Anyways I went on and I found his Instagram and looked at his photos. I didn’t really talk to him, he was mainly absent. He had a disorder which put him in deep depression, I though that was really sad. The nest day he came back though.

Couple days later, mile day, I hated mile day was a passion. So I lied. I said I was sick. Just to stay home and I did. I just went on Nerflix and watched movies the whole day. I watched . They were all about gays, and, all my favorite movies now. I absolutely loved them along with some others. I wanted my life to be like all of these, I really do, especially G.B.F. But you can’t have everything.. I guess….

After finishing Mulligens, mom and brother came back a few minutes later. They went to the store after mom picked my brother up, they went to Target for some stuff. She came back and knocked on my door, I opened it and she told me about this gay guy at Target that was talking to them. She keep making fun of him by saying „I see a sex change coming.“ Then laughing and „Yeah, I mean he was all dressed up and everything.“ And this last one made me wanna cut myself. „I wouldn’t wanna be his mother.“ I couldn’t stand it that she said that. They made me feel so bad, she already judges me enough. I just went along with it and laughed.

Couple days later, on the weekend, I had nothing what so every to do, so of corse I played minecraft all day, but, around midnight Brandon messages me in Kik asking for a favor… Your not gonna believe what he wanted.

Cutting myself?

1. They ask about your relationship status

If a person likes you, they probably want to know if you’re single or taken.

They’ll either ask you directly whether you have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Or they’ll assume you have one and instead ask questions about who you’ve been spending time with lately. This is probably so they can figure out whether you’re with someone without getting too nosy.

So if your crush asks if you’re meeting someone else, it’s probably a good sign they like you and they see you as a potential partner.

QUIZ: “Does he like me?” Every woman has asked this question at least once about a guy. I’ve put together a fun quiz to help you figure out whether he likes you. Take my quiz here.

1. They ask about your relationship status

Don’t just jump into bed with him. Here’s how to make him respect you and want to spend more time with you.

It’s frustrating as a gay man to have a crush on another guy who doesn’t like you back.

As a gay friend of mine told me long ago, “Here’s the deal. That guy you have a crush on is one of three things. Straight and not interested. Gay and not interested. Or gay and interested. The odds are not in your favor.”

Yes, the odds are not in your favor, and that’s the sad truth of gay dating. Thankfully online dating has definitely helped with that most important matter of figuring out if the guy is straight or gay. That’s not as much an issue today as it was fifteen years ago, when I started going on dates with men.

But gay dating is still a tricky business. Because so many guys out there just want to have sex, and fewer want to actually get to know you and potentially build a relationship with you.

This is not to say that going to bed with your gay crush is the worst thing in the world — it definitely is not — but what happens when you have a crush on another guy you desperately want to like you back?

You can’t force another guy to like you. The sooner you learn that truth the better.

But here are some tips about how to present your best self to that guy in the hopes he might like you back.

1. Don’t come off as needy and aggressive.

One of the worst things you can do in the face of your gay crush is be too needy and aggressive. To be a total psycho.

I was this way with way too many guys in my early twenties, and it wasn’t until a few guys acted this way to me that I realized how much of a turnoff it is.

It’s one thing to show you’re interested in him, but once you start calling and texting every day, once you keep shoving yourself in front of him at every possible moment, he’s going to look in the other direction.

You want to show interest. You want to not be invisible.

But stay chill. Don’t go crazy. Going crazy will not get you anywhere with your crush.

3 Answers 3

For a moment, let’s set aside the matter of your crush’s sexuality and focus on the fact of her being your ‘crush’.

Do you plan on asking her out or telling her how you feel?

If you do either of those you will find out if she reciprocates your feelings.

If she doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, then it makes no practical difference to you if that is because she is attracted to women or to other men.

So to return to your question, while there may be many ways to find out if she is attracted to women or not, in the end that is immaterial. Because what you want to know is whether she is attracted to you.

There is nothing gained by trying to find out if she likes you by a process of elimination or by category. She isn’t obligated to fancy anyone purely on the basis of them belonging to her preferred dating pool.

Try getting to know her better as a person and a colleague and then ask her if she is interested in going on a date with you. If you happen to learn that that’s unlikely in the process of being normal and friendly, well… then you know.

Your question sounds like you saw her a couple of times but that’s it. Shouldn’t you get into better contact with this woman as a first step?

Start a normal conversation with her. If the time has come you can ask her things like what she is doing after work or generally in her leisure time, what her hobbies are and the usual stuff. If she does by asking her whom she does that and so on. There is a good chance she mentions her relationship status. Then keep on asking, depending on what she ‚t make a question-and-answer game out of that, it should be a normal conversation without evidence about what you really want to achieve.

Another approach is to ask colleagues about her. (see Edit!) Again, wait for a suitable chance to ask if you don’t want to reveal your plan to some colleague.Question the things you saw (what are they?). Has anyone else seen that? What do they say about it, if so?Does she have a common colleague that both of you talk to? Do you have common fields to work on? Find a „network“ at your company to take advantage of.

Whatever you do be aware that even if she is single and not gay you still are not automatically her new partner 😉 Or you will find out she isn’t your best match.

Edit: Asking colleagues doesn’t mean to ask „hey is she gay or not“. I meant to subtly find out if they know a little more about this person. This can be her task in the company, where she worked before, what region or city or part of a city she is from, how old she is… and so on. The normal chitchat that happens often without any harm. Perhaps there is somebody who knows about her and perhaps this can help to get a better picture.

If you can find out if she is gay, then that would be best. You could ask her out without knowing, but given that she is a colleague, then not only do you risk the embarrassment of rejection, but you also risk creating an awkward/uncomfortable work environment.

I’d recommend that you start having friendly conversations with her. Invite her to coffee or lunch just as coworkers, not as a date. Get to know her, what her interests are, and how she spends her time. She might tell you if she already has a significant other or what her sexual orientation is.

Once you become friendly with her, you can friend her on social media (assuming she has an account on a social media network). Look at her profile and see what she has liked. Maybe she has a lot of gay-oriented likes, which wouldn’t necessarily mean she’s gay, but you can weigh that with the other information you found and determine if you still want to ask her out.

I was in a similar situation recently. A woman started working at my company and I had some friendly conversations with her and went to lunch with her. I was interested in dating her, but I was hesitant to ask her out because dating a coworker can be a tricky situation.

I friended her on Facebook and noticed some photos of her participating in a pride parade. At another lunch she talked about the pride parade, and although that didn’t necessarily mean she was gay, it did make me wonder. Not long after that, I saw a post on Facebook from another woman who tagged her in an announcement that they were in a relationship!

So she is gay, and we can continue to be friends. If I had asked her out before though, then that could have made things awkward between us.

Things that I find attractive

I am going to present you today the things that I find attractive but in my boyfriend. I was inspired by @PrinxessVibess When he wears a suit

It all started with Matt

You know how one minute you’re in a happy and fulfilling marriage and the next you find out that your husband of 20 years has been cheating on you with someone 10 years younger? Well I do. I went from country club wife and mother of high school students to a single, 39-year-old “cougar.” In this weekly feature, I will share with you all the mind-boggling, head-scratching, is-this-someone’s-idea-of-a-joke moments from my so-called single life. Consider this your private invitation to my tremendous learning curve…

When I was first separated from my ex-husband of 20 years, I fell for this amazing 6’2″ blond, blue-eyed construction worker, who also happened to be 10 years younger. He was exceptionally physical, to a point. We’d make out like we had two hours to live, but he’d never “seal the deal” (except once — and there were performance issues).

He was extremely religious, which I liked. I’m not, but we still had really deep talks about spiritual things. He was very masculine, but I have since met very masculine men who are gay. Looking back, I can’t help but wonder if Matt was gay, but eternally conflicted due perhaps to his religious beliefs.

He loves me, he loves me not (because he loves men?)

Now I have a crush on a man who might be gay. He’s gorgeous and smells amazing. He shops for clothes more than I do and he’s more stylish than I could ever dream of being. He makes inappropriate wise cracks around me, but he’s never hit on me. (I’m not trying to be arrogant, but that’s pretty rare for me. Men don’t usually want to be my friend.)

He lives in a huge house by himself which is tricked out with modern decor, but he likes to hunt and fish. He’s in his mid-30s and has never been married, and as far as I can tell has never had a relationship lasting longer than six months.

His appearance means way more to him than mine does. I do my hair and makeup once a day and that’s it. How I look the rest of the day is everyone else’s problem — I don’t have to see it. One day I hopped in his car, and I had to move his hair products (that he had brought “in case the wind was blowing”) out of the way. But he also likes country music and doing ranch work (and yes, I have seen Brokeback Mountain).

What’s the verdict?

I’m so confused. Another gay man whom I adore (but don’t have a crush on) swears my crush is gay. Is there a polite way to ask? Does Hallmark make a card that says, “You are so hot and funny and smell so good and I know you like to do ‘guy’ stuff, but I’m getting some serious mixed signals here. Are you gay? Check here for ‘yes’ or here for ‘no.’” It doesn’t really matter, I think I’m just looking to spare my ego because he’s not interested in me “that way.” I’m kidding. Kind of.

My GAY Crush (BOYxBOY)

So when Jake has a gay crush on three Straight guys or are they straight? He’s trying to keep it a secret but he wants to let it all out and tell people but is scared of what they will think of him when he does tell. This story is based on my life o…

N/A’s Most Recent Stories

I used to brag about how awesome my “gaydar” was — my ability to figure out if someone was gay or not. I don’t do that anymore. I have met and fallen in love with many gay people who challenge everything I thought I knew about what it means to be gay. Now I’m all over the map, and this state of confusion is affecting my love life.