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The best gay sex positions: How do gay men have sex?

As anyone who’s ever had gay sex, thought about gay sex or watched gay sex will know there are endless combinations possible gay sex positions. But where to start? What feels best? How do you gay men have sex?

This guide to the four most accessible – and we reckon most pleasurable – gay sex positions will help get you started.

Before we get stuck into how to stick it in, we’d always condone safer sex and recommend you read our guide to PrEP, and always use condoms when having sex.

The best gay sex positions: How do gay men have sex?

18 Types of Sex All Gay Men Should Try At Least Once in their Lifetime

There are so many different ways guys have sex with each other. There’s a lot in between the two extremes of making love to the man of your life, and having a raunchy, anonymous hookup in a bathhouse.

So here are 18 types of sex all gay/bi men should experience (at least once) at some point in their lives!

Ohhhh, that first time you’re with a guy. You’re nervous. You’re confused. It feels so right, yet you think it’s so wrong. All the shame, joy, confusion, and pleasure amalgamating to create an overwhelming emotional overload.

For many of us, the first experience we had with a man wasn’t great. Odds are, we didn’t actually like them that much. (If you did, you’re lucky!) So the first time you have sex with a man you really like (maybe even love) is a pretty phenomenal experience. You think to yourself, „Wow. This is it.“

In my humble opinion, I think this is a rite of passage for every gay man. I think we all need to have some form of cruisy, bathhouse, and/or park experience. The fearful rush is unlike anything you’ve experimented with before.

If you’re like me, the first time you bottomed you did not get what the fuss was about. I was clenching, hadn’t cleaned properly, and honestly had no idea what to do. I also remember being in a lot of pain. A few tries later, when you learn to relax, you finally get what the whole fuss is about, and it starts to feel really, really good.

The first time you have sex with someone who’s f*cking great. He’s sexy. He’s energetic. He knows how to move. And he has you thinking, „What type of garbage sex have I been having for the past X years?“

Who needs Ambien when you have Grindr, am I right? Those nights where you’re having trouble falling asleep, so you invite a guy over. Forty-five minutes later, you’re passed out. Sleeping like a baby.

In order to have sex with a man the first few times, many of us had to get to a point of severe inebriation. It’s obviously very different, and a lot more special, when you first have sex with a man sober.

Makin’ love to the man you love. Life really doesn’t get much better than that.

He smacks your butt hard, or he rests his hands on your throat, applying a little pressure. Your heart speeds up. You feel the rush of exploring something a little kinkier, a little more intense.

Honestly, I think everyone should experience a threesome at least once, at some point in their life. We all need to learn what the fuss is about, and why two heads (pun intended) are better than one.

Summer camp is literally the most homoerotic space to have ever existed. Just a bunch of hormonal guys, some closeted, some straight, but all confused about their sexuality, bunking together and exploring each other’s bodies.

When you get to experience drunk sex that’s actually amazing. You somehow have more energy and feel like a goddamn rock star. Everything feels so good.

That drunk sex that is absolutely awful. We’ve all had it. (Some of us more than we care to admit.) You can’t get hard. You feel gross. Your bodies don’t seem to be connecting at all. Literally, the worst. You might be asking why I think every gay men should experience this. Fair question! I think it’s important for us to have a couple mediocre sexual experiences, so we can appreciate the good ones.

There’s something unbelievably hot about having sex with someone in a foreign country. (When it’s a local in that county, that makes it even better.) Not sure why this is the case, but man-oh-man, it is.

When you sleep with a guy who’s 20 years your senior, and you’re like, „Woah, practice DOES make perfect!“

When 20 years later the tables have turned, and you’re showing the ropes to a newly out gay/bi man, helping him live out his daddy fantasy.

It’s another rite of passage that will inevitably happen. What do you expect? You’re poking around in someone’s butt. The first time this happens you’re definitely a little freaked out. But by the 10th time, you literally could not care less.

Had to end the slideshow on an uplifting note! It’s not even the physical act of sex that’s good; it’s the fact that you’re doing it with the man you love. It’s pure intimacy.

18 Types of Sex All Gay Men Should Try At Least Once in their Lifetime

The 22 Best Sex Toys for Gay, Bi, and Queer Men

Toys for top daddies, vers queens, and power bottoms.

Sex toys don’t discriminate; they’re made for anyone and everyone who wants them. That’s why no type of sex toybutt plug is inherently “gay.“

Nevertheless, gay culture—including gay sex culture—is indeed a thing. That’s why there are certain sex toys that appeal more to gay, bi, and queer men than straight guys. For example, a queer man might be more likely to buy a Fleshlight shaped like a male porn star’s butt than of a female porn star’s vulva. He may be more likely to buy an XXL butt plug to help stretch things out down there, or a double-edged dildo in case the guy he brings home happens to be a bottom, too. There are even brands out there making awesome sex toys with gay men specifically in mind. These companies include OxBalls and Mr. S Leather—you’ll notice I included many of their products on this list.

So, without further ado, here are 22 sex toys for gay, bi, and queer men. You’ll notice I start with more basic sex toys and gradually progress to more advanced and niche items, like anal hooks (for all the BDSM fans out there). Regardless of whether you identify as straight, bisexual, fluid, gay, queer, or something else on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, these sex toys can be extremely pleasurable if you have a penis, butthole, and/or prostate. Use them with a partner or during your next solo session!

A staple in every queer man’s bedroom is a stainless steel cock ring. Pro tip: Don’t get cocky (pun intended) with sizing. Odds are you’re a small or medium, not a large, buddy boy. 

The „Butt Tingler“ from Lovehoney is about as standard as a vibrating butt plug can be. It’s made from silicone and is 3.5 inches in length making it ideal for beginners. 

Start small and work your way up to medium and large with this 100% silicone butt plug training kit. It consists of three smooth silicone butt plugs in different sizes. Each has a flexible shaft that has small ridges to stimulate where you are most sensitive.

I just linked to Christopher Milan’s Fleshlight because I think he’s fine AF, but if you peruse the Fleshlight site, there are plenty of  other male models and porn stars to choose from, including Diego Sans, Allen King, and more. 

I love this toy. (You can read my full review of it here!) You control the speed and intensity of the vibrations by tilting the remote control. It also stimulates your perineum (a.k.a. your taint or grundle) along with your prostate. 

These are cheap and easy cuffs for when you only have 30 minutes to restrain and plow that guy from Scruff. 

These are the big boy version. The Daddy version. Cuffs made from real leather if you got coins to spare. 

b-Vibe’s amazing butt plugs simulate the feeling of getting a rim job (a.k.a. analingus). It’s like, who even needs a boyfriend anymore?  

This toy stimulates your rectum, prostate, and perineum. It really gets up in there. With the Duke, you might have orgasms so intense, you’ll hear „Rain on Me“ and see rainbows instead of stars.

I love me a glass dildo. (Don’t worry, there’s no way for it to shatter while in use.) Pro tip: Put it in the freezer to make it cold—you’ll experience brand-new sensations!

You want to feel full? Like really full? Then I’d recommend this inflatable butt plug. (Read my full review of it here

Have your partner slowly pull these bad boys out of you while you climax. (Head here to learn more about anal beads!)

If you’re into pup play, then you need to have a puppy tail. (It’s a butt plug that has a tail sticking it out of it.) And tie dye is apparently back in style!

If you like when your partner pinches and bites your nipples, I’d recommend these industrial-grade nipple clamps.

Oxballs are your go-to for more advanced cock rings. In addition to squeezing your shaft, this cocksling stretches your testicles down and away from you.

Some guys love having their testes pulled and separated. If you’re into that kinda thing, then look no further than this toy from Oxballs.

SPANK ME DADDY. (But actually, if you do use a flogger, please learn what you’re doing. You can hurt someone if you whip wrong. Here’s an article on how to flog properly.) 

If you’re into being a good little sub whose sole purpose is to satisfy Daddy, you can put on this chastity cage.  

If submission is your thing, you can also have a ball gag in your mouth. I like these options from Mr. S Leather, but you can also head here for more great ball gag options. 

First off, love the name of this toy. This double-edged dildo is great when you two get home and realize that you were both lying when you said you were vers. Instead of bumping purses, stick the Buddy Expander Double Header into your booties and then bump uglies. 

Anal hooks are great for couples who love playing with power dynamics. One end goes around your neck. The other know where. An anal hook forces the bottom to stay in a certain position—if you try to move, you will be in pain.

The 22 Best Sex Toys for Gay, Bi, and Queer Men

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The 10 Best Bedrooms Positions for Getting It On With Another Guy

If you’re single, how do you prevent awkward and boring sex from ruining chemistry with that really cute guy from Grindr?

If you’re in a longterm relationship, how do you keep the sex fun and exciting with each anniversary? Even the most seasoned casanovas need to know their fair share of sex positions to keep things interesting between the sheets, which is why we’ve put together this handy (and illustrated) guide to the best gay ones.

Before we get started, it’s important to establish some gay sex ground rules:

Now that we’ve got that covered, it’s time to learn more about the best gay sex positions.

Anal sex positions

Most of these gay sex positions are anal sex positions, but there are some non-penetrative sexual positions at the end too.

If you’re after more anal sex reading, here’s another general guide on how to have anal sex that covers douching, communication, lube and some other stuff.

Top, bottom or versatile?

We’re going to look at gay sex positions from the point of view of a top and a bottom.

If you’re versatile (and we encourage you all to be), lucky you, you can do both. In some gay sex positions the top leads the action, and in some the bottom takes the lead.

Interested in finding out why some guys are top and some are bottom? Here’s a scientific study from 2017 that talks about it.

Try the gay missionary position first

This gay sex position may sound boring, but it’s not, we promise. It’s one of the easiest positions for a top, and not especially difficult for a bottom.

During gay sex, if you’re engaging in foreplay and sucking his cock while he’s laying down, keep licking, kissing and sucking as you move your mouth down towards his balls.

Then go further, toward his perineum (the bit between his balls and his ass) and then his butthole.

Bottom: if you’re enjoying this, give him a few moans and wriggle your asshole a bit closer to where his tongue is.

If he’s keen, keep eating his ass. Open his ass cheeks and get in there deep with your tongue. If you can, and body shapes and sizes depend on this, lift his ass up a bit.

Seeing eye to eye

The gay missionary position is good for maintaining eye contact and clear communication during anal sex.

You can penetrate your partner slowly and carefully, keeping an eye on the target. You can build up a momentum that you’re both comfortable with. And it’s easy to get back in if you slip out, because you can see everything clearly.

Now try riding a guy’s cock

If you’re new to getting f**ked, or nervous about taking a big dick, this gay sex position could be good for you, because as a bottom, you’ll have the control.

It’s a good one for gaining confidence when it comes to taking cock – if it starts to hurt, you can slow down, and lower yourself onto him at your own pace.

You need a certain amount of athleticism to be able to ride your man. You want to be going up and down, and slightly back and forth, at the same time. A bit like riding a horse.

If you’re bigger built than your top, or if you’re a bigger guy in general this one can be tricky as gravity is against you. Be careful not to crush the chap under you or he’ll be at risk of losing his erection.

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A classic position for straight couples, missionary is pretty common for gay partners as well. In this position, the bottom lies on his back with his legs spread apart in the air while the active partner lies on top so the couple is face-to-face. Penetration from this angle allows for intimate eye contact and kissing, and the bottom can wrap his legs around the top to anchor thrusting. While not necessarily the kinkiest position, missionary is great for more inexperienced or vanilla couples. If you slip a pillow under the small of the bottom’s back for extra support, they can lay comfortably without having to strain to keep their legs in the air.

Doggy Style

Another classic gay sex position is doggy style. While potentially less intimate than missionary, doggy style allows you and your partner to explore each other in a new way. Doggy style really puts the top in control, so it’s the perfect position for more dominant tops and submissive bottoms. In doggy style, the bottom gets on all fours while the top kneels behind him. Holding on to the bottom’s hips for support, the top enters the bottom from behind. Penetration from this angle can feel harder and deeper for bottoms, and doggy style can be better for prostate stimulation for some men. Doggy style is good for couples of all experience levels, but it can require extra stamina from tops.


For couples with more dominate bottoms and tops who like to take it easy, cowboy is the ideal gay sex position. In the cowboy position, the top sits or lies back while the bottom straddles him across his pelvis facing forward, either in a kneel or squatting position. The cowboy position gives the bottom control over penetration, which can help to achieve prostate stimulation. The top can also thrust into the bottom from this position, shifting the dynamic between dominate and submissive partner. Cowboy is a good position for couples of all experience levels, but bottoms should be prepared for a workout.

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The Bodyguard

If the traditional horizontal positions have lost their excitement, try a standing position. Standing positions allow both partners an increased range of motion compared to horizontal positions—you can move together, or one can remain still while the other establishes and varies the rhythm. The most classic standing position, sometimes known as “the bodyguard,” is when the bottom faces away from the top and the top enters from behind. For anchorage, the bottom should hold onto a nearby wall, table, or other surface. Because the bodyguard position is more accommodating in small spaces or in the outdoors, they’re great for more adventurous couples who want to take sex out of the bedroom.

Pirate’s Bounty

The flashy name may make this position sound more complicated than it is, but the pirate’s bounty is a must-have in any gay sex wheelhouse. In this position, the bottom lies down his back, shifting his pelvis so that one leg is down and the other is up in the air. The active partner kneels, facing the bottom, and puts the bottom’s elevate leg on his shoulder as he enters him. This angle allows for a deep penetration. If the bottom is flexible, the top can push the elevated leg towards the bottom’s head for an even deeper and more intimate experience.


Spooning is one of the most intimate gay sex positions. Both partners lay on their sides, the top on the outside as the “big spoon.” The top enters the bottom from behind, with the bottom’s top leg elevated to allow for entry. For an extra deep penetration, the top can hook his elbow under the bottom’s elevated knee for easier access. This position involves a lot of close body contact, making it a great option for couples looking for an intimate and sensual sexual encounter.

Suspended Congress

For the more adventurous and active gay couples out there, suspended congress is an exciting and erotic challenge. This position is designed to get you out of bed and work on your cardio too. In this position, the top stands and picks up the bottom, who wraps his arms around the top’s neck for support. The top then enters the bottom from this position, holding the bottom’s thighs in his arms to support the bottom’s hips against his pelvis. For extra support while thrusting, put the bottom’s back against a wall or other solid structure. For more fit couple, try a free-standing suspended congress for a real full-body workout.


While not necessarily the ideal position for less experienced bottoms, the arch position is great for gay couples looking to explore sex from a new perspective. To get into the arch position, bottoms lay face up and lifts his hips upward, while keeping his feet and the back of his neck planted on the floor. The top kneels facing the bottom, entering him by placing his pelvis underneath the bottom’s raised hips. This position requires some serious back flexibility in terms of the bottom’s role, which is why it’s not recommended for the inexperienced, but this angle of penetration can be intensely stimulating and pleasurable for both tops and bottoms.

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Gay Sex Toys, Chosen by Men, for Men

Welcome to Adam’s Toy Box, an award winning gay sex toy store. The premise of our boutique is to provide top-notch service and products for gay men by gay men! Our selection of sex toys are chosen by experts in the adult entertainment industry, and are geared towards achieving the following goals: amazing sex, powerful mind-blowing orgasms, and new sexual adventures and experiences. 

Only at Adam’s Toy Box will you find top quality gay toys, a great selection of gay-friendly products, and superb customer service that’s completely unmatched! Hassle-free returns and our money back guarantee ensure that all orders and products meet your highest expectations.

Sex toys are highly personal. Make sure the sex shop you deal with pays attention not only to your individual sexual needs, but also respects your privacy and credit card security. Adam’s Toy Box offers Paypal checkout, providing extra protection for the consumer.

At Adam’s Toy Box, you will find a wide selection of gay butt plugsmale masturbatorslubesgay sexy underwear, cock rings, cock wear, penis pumps, condoms and anal toys. Additionally, we stock hundreds of double dongs, realistic dongs, BDSM gear, handcuffs, chains, leather wear, and much more! Check out the hottest gay male sex toys!

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We were tired of seeing cheaply made products that gay men were forced to resort to. We took it in our hands to curate products carefully so as to bring high quality products to our customers. It is very important to us that you are happy with your chosen sex toy and with that we vow to never sell a product that is not of superb quality and overall effectiveness. That means that every sex toy has gone through stringent quality testing by one of our team members. Therefore, if a product does not perform to our expectations, you can be sure that we won’t sell it to you.

In addition to providing great service and products, we want to change the way society views sex toys. Our vision is to reach as many gay men as possible and to bring sex toys to the mainstream. Join us in our quest to bring pleasure to every bedroom and spread gay acceptance around the world!

In addition to providing great service and products, we want to change the way society views sex toys. Our vision is to reach as many gay men as possible and to bring sex toys to the mainstream. Join us in our quest to bring pleasure to every bedroom!

♥ We Care ♥

At Adam’s Toy Box, we continuously update, reconfigure and remove sex toys from our inventory that do not meet our expectations in terms of quality, durability as well as relevancy to you – our customers!

As a gay-owned business we promise to always stick to our commitment of serving gay men with gay sex toys of quality and value. By shopping with us, you are committing to more than just a purchase. You are taking part in a cause to raise gay awareness, promote gay pride and a sexually healthy lifestyle.

Think of gay sex toys as a means for men to explore who they really are. Particularly for gay men, gay sex toys play a crucial role as a means to experiment with their bodies and to discover their sexual desires. To figure out what their preferences are as well as what they like and what they do not.

Sex toys are becoming less taboo, and gay sex toys are following suit. Men are exploring with anal toys and masturbators much more often, and they are finding that these toys are a great way to spice up their sex life with their partner.